₦airaland Forum

lexy2014:
how are they saying the exact opposite of what you said?

I said you shouldn't be financial burden to your kids. They disagreed. See it below

FreeIgboho:
He's right. Don't plan to be a burden on your children

So your dad who sent you to school and fed you while selling Okrika for aswani has no right to enjoy your wealth?..You think everyone’s parents are rich?..I wonder if you wear your thinking cap at all..

Sirchiboy:
Parenthood is responsibilty not an avenue to breed kids in the hope of making them your retirement plan.
This is very common in African culture where parents make their kids their life time retirement.
Every parents should plan for their future retirement.
You can decide to support them once in a while but not a most it is your reponsiblity to cater for them in their old age.

People who always say this are rich kids whose parents still fund their lifestyle, can you tell CR7 this or Messi this?
People who came from nothing take it their responsibility to take care of their parents . Not all parents are educated they have many parents who are farmers than educated so tell me . Will you allow your farmer parents to be doing farm work at 70?

Only a bastard will neglect his parents after the pass through something to bring him or her up. Some of us talk anyhow nowadays.
How can you say you Don own your parents anything? Some who work harder to train u up and even if he did not train u and destiny help you , you become somebody that no stop you from taking care of your parents.

Sirchiboy:
Parenthood is responsibilty not an avenue to breed kids in the hope of making them your retirement plan.
This is very common in African culture where parents make their kids their life time retirement.
Every parents should plan for their future retirement.
You can decide to support them once in a while but not a most it is your reponsiblity to cater for them in their old age.

I don't subscribe to such crap....my parents are my responsibility and I must make sure that they enjoy life to the fullest...because they sacrificed alot for me

OOOKEWALE:
When you grow old, i pray you will not eat your words...

...when I grow old, I plan to retire on my saved up pension and rental income from my properties not relying on my children. During your active working life you should also make provision for your old age.

FreeStuffsNG:
Everywhere in the world, parents make their children their life time retirement. Don't let inferiority complex destroy you.

When you grow up and start raising children, you can choose not to make them your retirement plan. Children are the only investment a dutiful parent will never retire from its ROI. Not even your marriage that you placed above your own parents can be your retirement plan because your spouse will divorce you.

Only Failed parents and products of failed parenting/dysfunctiomal parents believe that
they don’t owe one another anything

.....Not everywhere in the world, you have been misinformed, here in the western world, you are made to contribute towards an insurance scheme that pays out on retirement plus additional company pension contributions that also pays out when you are over 55.

Nnamdipapa:
The first time I am agreeing with you but still, I cannot have money and watch my parents suffer. They are blood but I cannot stand entitlements mentalities.

.... that is assuming your parents are poor

[quote author= post=136118566]You are correct.
Nigerians are the most hypocritical creatures on earth I have seen. They want Nigeria to change but they don't want to change their retrogressive habits and culture.

The Wise and responsible parents don't expect anything from their kids because they know it is not their right. The kids can decide to support their parents out of goodwill. Many irresponsible parents bring out kids just to suffer them perpetually and people support this.
I have seen many parents with retirement plan and that is how it should be and not to depend on children. They didn't force the parents to be born.
Depending on kids and pushing them to crime is one of the ills of the society which is rampant in Nigeria. It's even written in the Bible that a good parent should leave inheritance down to the grandchildren.[/quote]....I concur, I have one kid, and close to retirement and have been looking after her unconditionally because it is my responsibility. Nothing is expected from her in return apart from love and affection not financial support., this is because I have also made provisions for my retirement.

LeeSmart:
Mr op go just carry oyinbo man life style the tell us for here. Omor as for me i owe my parents a lot, it breaks my heart that mr op wants us to start doing what the whites are doing.

.... Oyinbo dey always make provision for their old age in their from their active working years and do not wholly rely on their children for support.

DeepSight:
May heaven help you.

Life is a cycle. If they raised and took care of you when you were small and vulnerable, you certainly owe it to them, to your conscience, and to all goodness to take care fo them when they are vulnerable.

This does not mean I support the idea of having kids as retirement plan. I dont.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

...it all depends if they are poor and ask for financial assistance. My father for one was pretty well and never really bothered us for financial help.

epainos:
The real reason Nigeria is damaged is because people want to put their burden on others by shifting their obligations on others, or turning them to investments. Training your kids is an obligation and not an investment.

Why should you want your kids to take care of you by force if the health facilities and elderly homes work well? Why should you put your burial burden on them if Nigeria has plans like abroad where you can pay for everything before you die?

What your children give you should be gifts and not investments. This mentality is bad. A good child will give you gifts, but never rely on it. And if that child does it, he or she will reap the benefits cos it's called the law of sowing seeds in the bible. It should not be that if your kids don't return the investments on them in multiple folds, everyone will be cursing them. For what na?

Nigerians are so manipulative. They will use the Bible to manipulate people to their advantages. Fix your nation so that you do not rely on your kids at old age for everything. It is good to have them around, but plan your life to live independently at old age. Is it too much? Na waooo.

....it is like most Nigerians have never had of pension scheme, during ones active working years you save up for your pension.

ediko5:
You're definitely suffering from the trauma of lack of parental love in your life. It's obvious you've not really experience parental love.

Allow us that have been showered with sweet parental love to also reciprocate same with joy the same way a Yahoo boy dey see joy in throwing money in clubs and spending on his girls 😂😁

Well said.

No African who benefited from good parenting and parental love will ever say this nonsense that the OP said.

Hell!!!!, even non-African don’t joke with their parent welfare

I no blame the guy. His mind is twisted by some sort of trauma he faced

Angelfrost:
Sigh... What sort of reasoning is this?!!

It's not about culture or religion, it's every child's duty to look after their aged parents' needs when fortunes are reversed.

It's even the natural order of life as God created it.


The same young men saying this will still spend insane amounts of money on women who they barely know intimately.

...
How will fortune be reserved if the parents are well off. A typical example is our president who is in his 70s but extremely well off, do you think he will ask Seyi for financial assistance?

[quote author= post=136118566]You are correct.
Nigerians are the most hypocritical creatures on earth I have seen. They want Nigeria to change but they don't want to change their retrogressive habits and culture.

The Wise and responsible parents don't expect anything from their kids because they know it is not their right. The kids can decide to support their parents out of goodwill. Many irresponsible parents bring out kids just to suffer them perpetually and people support this.
I have seen many parents with retirement plan and that is how it should be and not to depend on children. They didn't force the parents to be born.
Depending on kids and pushing them to crime is one of the ills of the society which is rampant in Nigeria. It's even written in the Bible that a good parent should leave inheritance down to the grandchildren.[/quote]Oga if u are broke and cannot help ur parents financially, everyone understands. But at least there are many other ways to help them.

But if u can afford it and u let ur parents suffer, my dear, something is very wrong with ur upbringing. Even Oyibo wey dem train well does not joke with their parents

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
You pray for long life, one day you will grow old and discover that at that age, the only way you can avoid being a burden to someone is by taking yourself to a home for the elderly where strangers will wash your bum bum and you will be deserted by the kids you raised who according to you don't owe you anything. Besides, that is how the westerners do shay? You guys just open your mouths waaaa to speak against "African ways" like you aren't Africans. We live a life of interdependence and there is nothing admirable about the silly ways of the westerners.

...old age does not necessarily means invalidity, Buhari that died at 82 never needed anyone to change pampers for him, OBJ is still going strong

DenreleDave:
But you owe your wife and your wife family Abi

Men like you ignore your family and take care of Ur wife own

when situation becomes dire, that guy will even abandon wife and kids.

His statement comes from a heart filled with selfishness

Sirchiboy:
Parenthood is responsibilty not an avenue to breed kids in the hope of making them your retirement plan.
This is very common in African culture where parents make their kids their life time retirement.
Every parents should plan for their future retirement.
You can decide to support them once in a while but not a most it is your reponsiblity to cater for them in their old age.

You are a wicked soul. If your parents didn't take care of you from when you are a baby to the point when you start hustling for yourself, would you not have died, would you have gotten the opportunity of making money for yourself, please think deeply again and reflect.

[quote author= post=136125548]The OP is not talking about taking care physically but more of financial dependence. Many people misunderstood the OP because of the title. The truth is that most of the responsible parents I know have retirement plan. Most have landed properties that they would even leave for their kids.[/quote]Ok

Your brain dey shake. I owe my mom so many things I can't even think of how to repay them. That woman is an angel. God bless me sef before it's late.

allthingsgood:
What of your entitlement mentality as a child You think raising you was easy? It's a curse for a child to abandon parents

Totally different, must the parents have children? you'd see someone spending all his monthly earnings on house welfare and still giving birth to more children?
why not just have 1 or 2 at most and while training them you can be building, saving or developing a small business? financially, you can help yourself and try to. if it doesn't work due to unforeseen circumstances, you'd know you tried. The children will try but those are gifts not obligations.

jrobbins:
Totally different, must the parents have children? you'd see someone spending all his monthly earnings on house welfare and still giving birth to more children?
why not just have 1 or 2 at most and while training them you can be building, saving or developing a small business? financially, you can help yourself and try to. if it doesn't work due to unforeseen circumstances, you'd know you tried. The children will try but those are gifts not obligations.

They don't understand how obligations work. I have kids who don't owe me a dime. I owe them to be successful in life because I brought them into this. I wonder how this simple concept is hard for the average Nigerian to grasp.

That does not mean you don't help your parent but it is not a debt.

OOOKEWALE:
When you grow old, i pray you will not eat your words...

You are still carrying that African mentality the writter talks about. The Op is a million times right.

chiommy123:
You don't know the joy of taking good care of your parents and the blessings that come with it

Its just your mentality feeding your feelings. There is joy in taking care of any less privilege not just your parents. Yes a bit of emotions for your parents compared to others that are not your family circle but then no extra blessings attached to taking care of only your parents. Heal the world not just your parents. Na paddy paddy mentality spoil this Nigeria

chidifrank:
Its just your mentality feeding your feelings. There is joy in taking care of any less privilege not just your parents. Yes a bit of emotions for your parents compared to others that are not your family circle but then no extra blessings attached to taking care of only your parents. Heal the world not just your parents. Na paddy paddy mentality spoil this Nigeria

Sometimes, our parents act entitled and want to control the kids on top of the kids money o. I think our culture is responsible for this mentality.

Nnamdipapa:
They don't understand how obligations work. I have kids who don't owe me a dime. I owe them to be successful in life because I brought them into this. I wonder how this simple concept is hard for the average Nigerian to grasp.

That does not mean you don't help your parent but it is not a debt.

like I'm shocked, That's the crab mentality that has weaponised poverty. Later they'd grow, give birth to numerous children hoping they'd save them in the future. While taking care of those children, they'd be bread winners to parent too, so no savings or plans for tomorrow and the cycle keeps going. Poverty being the major cause for crime will then cause children to go into crime.

jrobbins:
like I'm shocked, That's the crab mentality that has weaponised poverty. Later they'd grow, give birth to numerous children hoping they'd save them in the future. While taking care of those children, they'd be bread winners to parent too, so no savings or plans for tomorrow and the cycle keeps going. Poverty being the major cause for crime will then cause children to go into crime.

I was breadwinner to my familr from the age of 20. Paid the rents and university tutoring for four of my siblings. It qas a nasty experience for me like why would my parents have seven kids in a face me I face.

I know what it means to carry a burden that is not yours to carry. It will be calous of me to place similar burdens on my children with the level of my education and exposure. I was forced to buy cars and build a house gir my parents and at some point, I felt harrased as they were going through my paystubs.

FreeIgboho:
I said you shouldn't be financial burden to your kids. They disagreed. See it below

how is the information in the screenshot a disagreement?

FreeIgboho:
He's right. Don't plan to be a burden on your children

Then children too should take care of their lives on their own, many parents are sacrificing their savings and comfort to send their children to not just any school but a standard and good school and to train them.