Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? (13184 Views)
| Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Dpsychologist(op): 12:52pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Marriage is one topic that will never stop shaking tables, and today, we’re going to drag one uncomfortable truth into the open. 👉 Many women don’t actually marry the man they truly love or feel sexually attracted to. 👉 Instead, they marry the man who is ready — the one with money, stability, and seriousness, even if their heart isn’t fully in it. After the wedding, sex becomes a duty — something she tolerates just to have children. But once she’s done giving birth, the pretending ends. No more intimacy, no more affection, no more spark. What’s left? A cold partnership where both partners are simply co-parenting under the same roof. This raises tough questions: Is marriage in today’s world really about love, or just about timing and convenience? Can attraction and passion be “manufactured” after marriage? Is society’s pressure forcing too many people into unions built on endurance rather than happiness? And for men: are you sure the woman you married actually desired you — or just settled because you were available? The truth is, pretense in marriage always has an expiry date. Once the acting is over, reality kicks in. That’s why many homes lose their intimacy after kids arrive. So, Nairalanders, over to you 👇: Do women really marry who they love — or just who is ready? And men, how do you know you weren’t just “the available option”? Let’s debate this. No holding back. 22 Likes 5 Shares
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| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Nobody: 2:03pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
I've said this a lot of times. There's always a sign of it but most men can't see it due to emotions. She's 100% right. 90 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by SultanOfPuna: 2:08pm On Sep 30, 2025*. Modified: 6:26pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
A girl I was dating went behind my back to marry a guy she meet couple months. When I saw their wedding picture I was so confused. The guy look weak and his face look like he is already tired of life I guess he is more richer than me because I fine pass the guy scatter. The guy also look like someone that his wife will control anyhow. Maybe I'm wrong but this marriage thing don cast. Looks like she choose who she can control as husband SmartPolician:90% of married men lack all those things you mention. Let's stop deciceving ourselves 30 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Samantha125(f): 2:16pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
It depends on her family background... If you're from an advantaged background, you marry who you love, but if you're from a disadvantaged background, you marry who is ready, you can even get married to an old man. 56 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Jman06(m): 3:51pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Women's "love" cannot sustain a lifelong marriage relationship unlike men's. For this reason, marriages should be based on the man's love ie the man should be more inlove because that's what would enable him carryout his responsibilities to his wife and children with his full chest. Wise ladies understand this while the immature ones force themselves on men who doesn't care much about them and suffer the consequences 19 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by blacksam01: 4:19pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Don't say women... Say Nigerian women... 23 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by kiddaz: 4:34pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
 1 Like |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Softmirror: 4:54pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
It's simply because women are realist who think deeper beyond superfacialities, unlike men. 13 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by WriteerNg: 5:36pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Softmirror:it's because their biological clock runs faster than men. She has to make that tough decision whether she likes it or not. 48 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by maberry(m): 5:37pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Nigerian women typically marry for security... period!!! 15 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by obaidan: 5:37pm On Sep 30, 2025*. Modified: 6:56pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Women are realists. They marry who is available OR who can pay the bills OR who can lift them economically. Na men dey find weytin no loss As a man if you must marry, at the minimum- you should marry who will not drain your finances, peace. If what will make her happy will take away from the things that give you joy i.e. bond with your siblings & parents, hobbies etc. ----- Run away from her she be Jezebel 32 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by ARISHEM: 5:37pm On Sep 30, 2025*. Modified: 8:32pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Most of them marry who is ready when they are being pressured by family or the one they love is delaying. When she barely knows you when you propose to her and she begin to ask you questions like your salary level, do you have a house, how many cars you get, blah blah blah. And you get it all right then you are ready 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Gotocourt: 5:37pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
They marry who is ready when they desperation kicks in. I've got three ex who denied about being married 🤷🏿 There's why they society careless when a woman is having marital problems, team my case is different till you become punching bag  . Many seem to be possessed by spirits when about getting married 🤷🏿, their emotions often mislead them 8 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by EmptyGarden(m): 5:39pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
It depends; under 25 - for love. Over 25 - who is ready… 30 and above - who is willing 33 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by whytediamond(m): 5:39pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
What kind of sillie question is this? Are you new to this part of the world? Oh please Nairaland. 2 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Daniel058(m): 5:40pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Most woman marry who's ready not who they truely love 5 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Kobojunkie: 5:41pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Dpsychologist:1. It is no secret that Nigerian women typically date and go on to marry men they do not love, mainly because of societal conditioning.  2. Passion and attraction are rarely manufactured after marriage. That is why, right after the supposed honeymoon phase, regret usually sets in for the women involved. 3. The simple answer is yes! 4. Most men settle for the women they find available in marriage, too. This explains the high levels of cheating amongst Nigerian married men. The woman they have at home is the one they settled for, while the sidechicks are the women they long to or cannot really have all to themselves. 5. 🥱🥱🥱 10 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Mattswaggz: 5:41pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
In most cases in this country....it's who is ready. Then depending on the kind of lady...she will continue away match and might even bring the poor man a bastard home to take care of in the name of his own child. 6 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Softmirror: 5:42pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
WriteerNg:That is being realistic and not chasing fantasies. 1 Like |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by cutecommend: 5:43pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Marry who God wants and who loves you ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Kobojunkie: 5:43pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Softmirror:There is nothing realistic about that behavior, which is typically fueled by societal and peer pressure to get married. By the way, it is pretty obvious that the same applies to Nigerian men, as the high rates of adultery in marriage among Nigerian men speak volumes of the same situation being common among men. 2 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by jmoore(m): 5:44pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Love is an energy. Energy can be transferred. Yes, she can marry the one that is ready and still love him. 10 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by judewrites: 5:46pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Women are like flowers 🌷....they have the need to be protected, cherished and nurtured. That's why they often go for the 'highest bidders' even though they may not really love such. It still beats me why some women settle for a man with looks of a gorilla 🦍 just because he's rich. Not all woman though. 11 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Heffalump(m): 5:46pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
cutecommend:There is no love without money. If you like, be handsome to a fault. Na rich man go still 4ck your wife Las Las. 5 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Kobojunkie: 5:46pm On Sep 30, 2025*. Modified: 9:58pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
cutecommend:Marrying someone who loves you and you don't necessarily love the same is the same thing as settling. Nigerian men do this a lot, as this explains why the vast majority of Nigerian men now conceive adultery as their birthright. Stop marrying women you clearly don't consider your type. Level up, so your type can want and desire you, too. 3 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Gotocourt: 5:46pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Samantha125:Ahhh so it happens in southy too, this is crazy 🤷🏿. Well, their choice  1 Like |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by 12345baba(m): 5:47pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Damn ! Am so lucky. Seun is jealous...... Mfmfmfmfmfmfmf |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Kobojunkie: 5:48pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
judewrites:The vast majority of crimes committed against women are carried out by the men in their lives — husbands/boyfriends, past fliings, fathers, etc. If a woman wants protection, the last thing she needs is a man in her life. 2 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by AmazingELixir: 5:49pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Doesn’t matter....even people in relationship for very long time before getting married end up breaking up after sometimes. Ask Tuface, Ay, ask pst Chris even my own bossom friend that courted his ex wife for as long as I could remember ended up been chased out of the house when they relocated abroad. So marriage is a contract of chance and luck. 9 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by buJu234: 5:50pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
Nigerian women dont marry for love oo its for money. thats why immediately they have money, they will tell you they dont need men or husband again 9 Likes |
| Re: Do Women Really Marry Who They Love — Or Just Who Is Ready? by Samantha125(f): 5:51pm On Sep 30, 2025 |
It happens everywhere across the world, especially in Asia. Gotocourt: 3 Likes |
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