₦airaland Forum

It was a bitter sweet experience I'd not advice any young man to engage in. It's a game and the only way to win, is to be the user .

I knew this already but unfortunately I was blind sided and disarmed by the love I had for her 13yr old child. The child was so bright. I tutored her in mathematics til she became the best. I saw a lonely bright child who took me as a father figure in her school.

I was so attached and one day I was opportune to meet with her mother. I met a very beautiful young woman in her early 30's the day she came to drop off her child at school. Prior to this, our chat engagement was official and all about her daughter's growth. She requested that I drop all formality and desist from caling her "ma" . She called me babe instead and We both became informal with time and got very close. There was constant calls and communication.

She told me alot about her past , her 4 exes and how she's been alone. It turns out she was always the victim in all her stories . She's so pretty , why would any man leave such a woman? I kept asking myself. She learnt about our 5yrs age difference which was shocking to her but she was already deep into it and ready to go down.

THE ROMANCE

We became sexually involved and things were going down fast. She had great sexual appetite . She wanted me to marry her and was fond of calling me her child's soon to be father and how we were gonna get married. She's a fashion designer who is financially stable.


CRISIS

She had sudden financial crisis after embarking on a huge project. To assist , I tutored the child for free and I was assisting her occasionally with finances cuz I had lesson gigs fetching me 6figures.

Soon, I started to realise her sudden change of attitude. The calls soon dropped and we started to have alot of unresolvable fights , reason being that she would rather not like to settle the conflict when I want to, but make it linger so I'd have to beg her even when she was wrong. She never likes to talk about the unresolved issues, so we could trash it amicably and make amends where necessary.


POINT OF REALISATION

I suspected she was sleeping around and one day I decided to pay her a visit . On that faithful day, I heard her elder sister over a loud phone conversation " Jane, u really have my time today that you didn't go to man's house"
". I cringed on hearing that . This is someone who said she doesn't sleep around because of the stereotype attached to being a single mom.

They both laughed about it and she told her sister that she was currently with a man. The sister said further " what of bros? He say he no do again or when he go engage u?
" .

This time I felt the ground should open up . "Bros" is an elderly man in his 50's who wants to marry her. We had a fight that night and she denied that she had anything to do with bros and her sis was joking about her visits to men. We trashed it and made up with sex.

Next morning she was on call with a male friend who wanted to borrow money from her and she called him babe.

Note that, she's called a different male friend babe accidentally too and she quickly defended that she calls all her male friends "babe" . I told her it wasn't cool. She got defensive and even called another male friend and she told him I was jealous, they both laughed and she ended the call with " I love you and he replied too". We had a fight . I left and still came back to check on her. I was ignored while she was on call with her male friend for 30mins after which she invited him over with 2 other guys.

I asked why and what for. She boldly told me "whatever activities I have with my friends is not your concern , even if we have 10some
" .


I was saddened because this was someone for once I was ready to risk it all to settle down with. She was probably entangled in something I never understood. I discovered that she clubbed on Sundays , and would never allow her daughter come live with her. The poor child has been living with her grandparents for 13yrs. My girlfriend also abused weed and alcohol. I saw all these in her fridge

THE PREGNANCY

I was broken by everything and kept my distance but we still spoke. Early this year, we both suspected she was pregnant since she missed her period. We did a test and I found out she was pregnant. 4weeks 8days but I doubted it was mine after all the recent discoveries. To cut the long story short she removed it and bled for days.

The disrespect and devaluation kept on going . I was mentally unstable for a while and took Ill. I couldn't resume to teach and I lost my job. My mother was angry with me for having anything to do with her.

I broke up with her cuz I realised what I had wasn't real. I realised I never did anything that bad to deserve all the treatments I received. I was supporting and loving and was even a father figure to her child .

I'm without a job now but I'll be commencing a technical training for a better job offer. I'm still unstable and hurt but I'll bounce.

I'm one of those guys who don't believe in playing nice because ive been hurt before. I broke my rules and was disarmed by the love I had for a child and I fell in love with a lie. But it's all good. I learnt my lesson.

Default setting of most single moms is "SURVIVAL AT ALL COST"

You saw the red flags right from the beginning but decided to play dumb.

Now that you are jobless, trust me, you have bigger problems that made me wonder how you can still pour your lamentations on social media instead of moving on with your real problems.

Go and find job again, build up yourself again. When you are ready for love again, you will know.

Btw, not all single moms or Dads are evil. Quit the stereotype.

FreeStuffsNG:
You saw the red flags right from the beginning but decided to play dumb.

Now that you are jobless, trust me, you have bigger problems that made me wonder how you can still pour your lamentations on social media.

It's better than keeping it to myself . There's no man without problem. I'm learning a lot about life as the day goes.

Thanks for your input tho.

FreeStuffsNG:
Btw, not all single moms or Dads are evil. Quit the stereotype.

Exceptions don't make a general rule and you're not entirely wrong due to some considerable factors . But in my case, I had a terrible experience.

Food don ready.. Nollywood lock in

You were making 6 figures without plans and savings. Omoh, where una dey receive una training from? Na like this you wan take be Dangote?
What I was looking for in your story if it's real is for you not to invest your hard earned money into the relationship. You flopped big time because she was the one who came for you. You should have acted broke, eat her money, borrow lots of money from her and by now, na she for dey cry blood. Na ur money wey u waste dey pain u so not any mumu love

Wow

What a SIMPle gentleman!

If 4 men could run wu be you. I no pity you cos you no pity urself

Wealthyonos:
..... Na ur money wey u waste dey pain u so not any mumu love

You no just like peace at all.
You just reached directly for the sword of violence 😂

Some young men will still fall victim after reading this..

Thanks for sharing your experience.

If I share my experience e no go contain.

But my summary will be this:

Invest and spend more on yourself than anybody else.
Fall in love with your head and not your heart.
Have multiple options

so what will happen to your child she has in her stomach

She didn't invest anything in the relationship, so the breakup won't hurt her in any way...

When I made my own thread about them and their deception, some cried Wolf.
Her plan was to keep you locked for steady payments.

ErnestNc:
It was a bitter sweet experience I'd not advice any young man to engage in. It's a game and the only way to win, is to be the user .

I knew this already but unfortunately I was blind sided and disarmed by the love I had for her 13yr old child. The child was so bright. I tutored her in mathematics til she became the best. I saw a lonely bright child who took me as a father figure in her school.

I was so attached and one day I was opportune to meet with her mother. I met a very beautiful young woman in her early 30's the day she came to drop off her child at school. Prior to this, our chat engagement was official and all about her daughter's growth. She requested that I drop all formality and desist from caling her "ma" . She called me babe instead and We both became informal with time and got very close. There was constant calls and communication.

She told me alot about her past , her 4 exes and how she's been alone. It turns out she was always the victim in all her stories . She's so pretty , why would any man leave such a woman? I kept asking myself. She learnt about our 5yrs age difference which was shocking to her but she was already deep into it and ready to go down.

THE ROMANCE

We became sexually involved and things were going down fast. She had great sexual appetite . She wanted me to marry her and was fond of calling me her child's soon to be father and how we were gonna get married. She's a fashion designer who is financially stable.


CRISIS

She had sudden financial crisis after embarking on a huge project. To assist , I tutored the child for free and I was assisting her occasionally with finances cuz I had lesson gigs fetching me 6figures.

Soon, I started to realise her sudden change of attitude. The calls soon dropped and we started to have alot of unresolvable fights , reason being that she would rather not like to settle the conflict when I want to, but make it linger so I'd have to beg her even when she was wrong. She never likes to talk about the unresolved issues, so we could trash it amicably and make amends where necessary.


POINT OF REALISATION

I suspected she was sleeping around and one day I decided to pay her a visit . On that faithful day, I heard her elder sister over a loud phone conversation " Jane, u really have my time today that you didn't go to man's house"
". I cringed on hearing that . This is someone who said she doesn't sleep around because of the stereotype attached to being a single mom.

They both laughed about it and she told her sister that she was currently with a man. The sister said further " what of bros? He say he no do again or when he go engage u?
" .

This time I felt the ground should open up . "Bros" is an elderly man in his 50's who wants to marry her. We had a fight that night and she denied that she had anything to do with bros and her sis was joking about her visits to men. We trashed it and made up with sex.

Next morning she was on call with a male friend who wanted to borrow money from her and she called him babe.

Note that, she's called a different male friend babe accidentally too and she quickly defended that she calls all her male friends "babe" . I told her it wasn't cool. She got defensive and even called another male friend and she told him I was jealous, they both laughed and she ended the call with " I love you and he replied too". We had a fight . I left and still came back to check on her. I was ignored while she was on call with her male friend for 30mins after which she invited him over with 2 other guys.

I asked why and what for. She boldly told me "whatever activities I have with my friends is not your concern , even if we have 10some
" .


I was saddened because this was someone for once I was ready to risk it all to settle down with. She was probably entangled in something I never understood. I discovered that she clubbed on Sundays , and would never allow her daughter come live with her. The poor child has been living with her grandparents for 13yrs. My girlfriend also abused weed and alcohol. I saw all these in her fridge

THE PREGNANCY

I was broken by everything and kept my distance but we still spoke. Early this year, we both suspected she was pregnant since she missed her period. We did a test and I found out she was pregnant. 4weeks 8days but I doubted it was mine after all the recent discoveries. To cut the long story short she removed it and bled for days.

The disrespect and devaluation kept on going . I was mentally unstable for a while and took Ill. I couldn't resume to teach and I lost my job. My mother was angry with me for having anything to do with her.

I broke up with her cuz I realised what I had wasn't real. I realised I never did anything that bad to deserve all the treatments I received. I was supporting and loving and was even a father figure to her child .

I'm without a job now but I'll be commencing a technical training for a better job offer. I'm still unstable and hurt but I'll bounce.

I'm one of those guys who don't believe in playing nice because ive been hurt before. I broke my rules and was disarmed by the love I had for a child and I fell in love with a lie. But it's all good.

Are you saying a lady who was not a single mother couldn't have done all what you claimed she did to you?

BeardedMeat:
Are you saying a lady who was not a single mother couldn't have done all what you claimed she did to you?

I only shared my experience. From research and facts, it almost never ends well when a younger guy goes for a single mother, especially a promiscuous one.

motymop:
so what will happen to your child she has in her stomach

She had an abortion

You simped bro,I've been in this type of situation before,but urs is worse😂😂
Don't allow it happen again....this is the reason why I fear older ladies,they cheat without u suspecting anything.

SUPERBLOOM:
When I made my own thread about them and their deception, some cried Wolf.
Her plan was to keep you locked for steady payments.

I just went through your thread bro. You were spot on. Same experience, except that mine has a profitable business. I didn't want her to feel I was in for her money. I fvcked up keeping it real.

Uchenna10:
You simped bro,I've been in this type of situation before,but urs is worse😂😂
Don't allow it happen again....this is the reason why I fear older ladies,they cheat without u suspecting anything.

I know bro. I fvcked up. I learnt the hard way.

I always wonder why some men would see poison and gladly drink it as if it's maltina.



Not all single mothers are bad but you should be very careful when dealing with them. Before stepping on a river you don't know it's depth the wise thing to do is try one foot first.

What I make out of this... Every child needs both parents.

Dear men... Kindly make your marriage work. Also stop producing baby mamas. If you can't abstain, ensure you don't impregnate.

Do this for the sake of innocent child that will suffer the consequences.

As for the ladies, always try to be sensible and not take decisions out of emotions.

At the long run, it's the ladies who bears the greater part of the consequence. A lady who play runs to feed herself, when the sun set on her beauty, she may become miserable without any source of income. But a man, even at 60 years can just enter site and do labour work. At least money to feed no fo hard.

That's why I said ladies should be sensible.

rickpat:
Default setting of most single moms is "SURVIVAL AT ALL COST"

Which makes them to do unspeakable things.

ErnestNc:
I know bro. I fvcked up. I learnt the hard way.

Those particular sets of ladies are w!cked bro.....they don't love,but theyr pretend to.

ErnestNc:
I only shared my experience. From research and facts, it almost never ends well when a younger guy goes for a single mother, especially a promiscuous one.

Okay 😅

ErnestNc:
I know bro. I fvcked up. I learnt the hard way.

Bro, everyone has their own fvkc up. Don't mind these unhappy souls. They may also have been people who have experienced same and unlike you who got out, they are still running up and down this January looking for school fees to for their own single mom girlfriend

Thanks for sharing, it would certainly help others

Everytime, we hear only one single baby mama, why is it only one single baby mama we are always reading about?

Are there not men who are swimming with 2 or more single mamas?

My advice to single guys, if you want to settle down look for a woman with a fresh womb. What do I mean a woman that hasn't given birth for another man before. You can't be single and still settle with fairly use. It's not fair to yourself and your own destiny.

Hmmm. Single mother get wahala o. Very few are okay. They come with bag-gages abeg. BTW, you also write very well. Try delving into writing too, if possible, not only technical stuff or maths

Rich4god:
What I make out of this... Every child needs both parents.

Dear men... Kindly make your marriage work. Also stop producing baby mamas. If you can't abstain, ensure you don't impregnate.

Do this for the sake of innocent child that will suffer the consequences.

As for the ladies, always try to be sensible and not take decisions out of emotions.

At the long run, it's the ladies who bears the greater part of the consequence. A lady who play runs to feed herself, when the sun set on her beauty, she may become miserable without any source of income. But a man, even at 60 years can just enter site and do labour work. At least money to feed no fo hard.

That's why I said ladies should be sensible.

.. Thank you, I repost my previous comment.

The bad rap single women have on this forum is for me a disgrace to men because that baby mama and baby daddy nonsense is a sign of failed family upbringing. While people can lose their loved ones or divorce due to irreconcilable differences, men who leave their wives or did not consult the elders before marrying into a family are a big disgrace to men. Give me a man that has 3 wives above useless sissies who are comfortable with their women mothering their kids alone abandoned.

You people copied the thing the government used against the Blacks in US and left your culture. Now you are telling us about single moms 🤡 Nonsense

In some cultures, the brother married off his late bro's wife because women were never treated like Street Vendors and abandoned. I blame women too because western influence has deceived them with one yeye independence and fake patriarchy that we are having more kids without dads because of some strong head women.

Where is the honor our women once had?

Who are the men getting them pregnant and leaving them?

Who are the families allowing their daughters wore about?

You can't just blame the women. Men are the biggest culprits because let's assume women are moomoo as many of you claim, who are the moomoo men planting their seeds in her 🤡 Weak men. Clowns.... It was a ticking time bomb, Nigerians copied street lifestyle of America and the 'independent' life of Europe, then abandoned their own traditions and culture about marriage, family and childbirth, here is the result....


For women, at what age will you wake up

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7553103102446931231?