₦airaland Forum

We celebrate the lion not because lions are everywhere. We celebrate him because he is not.
The man who has built himself quietly, who eats well and sleeps well and moves through the world without the desperate need for feminine validation.. he is not the standard. He is the exception. And exceptions do not chase. They attract.

This is the cruel irony of the modern Nigerian woman's predicament. She spent her finest years training on boys who needed her. Boys who called at midnight, who sent alerts unprompted, who rearranged their dignity to sit at her feet. She mistook this hunger for love. She mistook scarcity for power.

Then life, in its characteristic absence of mercy, introduced her to a man who had built something. And this man looked at her the way a person who has eaten looks at a menu. With mild curiosity. Without urgency.
She did not understand it. She had never seen it.
Because yes. Men like this are rare. They are rare because becoming one is difficult. It requires years of unglamorous discipline while others are chasing. It requires choosing yourself so consistently that it becomes character and not performance.

But here is what nobody wants to say out loud.
The rarity is not a flaw in the design. It is the design. Gold is gold precisely because the ground is mostly sand.

Show me a man who's not in desperate need for feminine validation and I'll pay you.

Samantha125:
Show me a man who's not in desperate need for feminine validation and I'll pay you.

I am not. Because I understand how it works.
Ask any honest woman how she feels when a man desperately needs her validation. She will tell you herself.

In my language there's a proverb which says "tšhwene ga e ipone makopo", meaning it's easier to spot other people's flaws while rarely noticing your own.

There are some things that are so beyond your control as men that you might rarely even notice them while we ladies do, because tell me why the tone of a typical man's voice generally changes from when he's talking to his fellow men to when talking to women? It doesn't matter whether the discussion is work based or just general... Someone would just be talking to you in his bedroom voice for no particular reason...😒😒😒

And if a man is not seeking validation from his girlfriend, wife or FWB, he's seeking it from either his mother or sisters.

Babatunjo:
I am not. Because I understand how it works.
Ask any honest woman how she feels when a man desperately needs her validation. She will tell you herself.

People who are emotionally stable...


disciplined, financially secure and not desperate for approval often appear more attractive.



Confidence and self-control tend to attract people more than neediness!

Samantha125:
In my language there's a proverb which says "tšhwene ga e ipone makopo", meaning it's easier to spot other people's flaws while rarely noticing your own.

There are some things that are so beyond your control as men that you might rarely even notice them while we ladies do, because tell me why the tone of a typical man's voice generally changes from when he's talking to his fellow men to when talking to women? It doesn't matter whether the discussion is work based or just general... Someone would just be talking to you in his bedroom voice for no particular reason...😒😒😒

And if a man is not seeking validation from his girlfriend, wife or FWB, he's seeking it from either his mother or sisters.

There are some of us men that through fasting learnt this secret and regulate it as necessary

There's even the pull women feel when an aroused man is near her. We've learnt to regulate this as well

Samantha125:
In my language there's a proverb which says "tšhwene ga e ipone makopo", meaning it's easier to spot other people's flaws while rarely noticing your own.

There are some things that are so beyond your control as men that you might rarely even notice them while we ladies do, because tell me why the tone of a typical man's voice generally changes from when he's talking to his fellow men to when talking to women? It doesn't matter whether the discussion is work based or just general... Someone would just be talking to you in his bedroom voice for no particular reason...😒😒😒

And if a man is not seeking validation from his girlfriend, wife or FWB, he's seeking it from either his mother or sisters.

You speak of men who do not know themselves yet. That is a different conversation.
Seeking emotional completion in a woman, whether mother, sister or lover, is not intimacy.

You're right, it's not intimacy, but it's validation.

Babatunjo:
You speak of men who do not know themselves yet. That is a different conversation.
Seeking emotional completion in a woman, whether mother, sister or lover, is not intimacy.

How often do you go on fasting?

J2ff:
There are some of us men that through fasting learnt this secret and regulate it as necessary

There's even the pull women feel when an aroused man is near her. We've learnt to regulate this as well

Samantha125:
How often do you go on fasting?

Haven't done it in ages (years). But when I did, I got some secret insights. Didn't go to extremes while doing it though. Less than 12 hours is a safe limit

This means you can't regulate your feelings anymore since you're no longer fasting?

J2ff:
Haven't done it in ages (years). But when I did, I got some secret insights. Didn't go to extremes while doing it though. Less than 12 hours is a safe limit

Samantha125:
This means you can't regulate your feelings anymore since you're no longer fasting?

Nope regulating beautifully since then . "The gift of God is without repentance"