₦airaland Forum

A lot of men keep drowning in relationships because they rely on advice that sounds good instead of understanding what actually works.

The interesting part is that the advice is often sincere.

Your mother, your sister, or your female friend may genuinely tell you what they believe they want. They mean well.

But attraction and long-term relationship dynamics are not always the same as what people say in conversation.

That gap is where many men get hurt.

For example:

• "Always be available for your girl." Then they find that having their own life, mission, and standards often earns more respect and attraction.

The solution?

Don't hate women. Don't argue with them when they give you advice.

Watch what consistently earns respect, attraction, and healthy relationships with them. Judge by outcomes.

Even this post will probably be dismissed by some women. And that's okay. Men still have the responsibility to learn from reality, because they are the ones who bear the consequences of getting it wrong.

Babatunjo:
A lot of men keep drowning in relationships because they rely on advice that sounds good instead of understanding what actually works.

The interesting part is that the advice is often sincere.

Your mother, your sister, or your female friend may genuinely tell you what they believe they want. They mean well.

But attraction and long-term relationship dynamics are not always the same as what people say in conversation.

That gap is where many men get hurt.

For example:

• "Always be available for your girl." Then they find that having their own life, mission, and standards often earns more respect and attraction.

The solution?

Don't hate women. Don't argue with them when they give you advice.

Watch what consistently earns respect, attraction, and healthy relationships with them. Judge by outcomes.

Even this post will probably be dismissed by some women. And that's okay. Men still have the responsibility to learn from reality, because they are the ones who bear the consequences of getting it wrong.

What a woman says she wants and what she actually responds to are to different things entirely.

A man's greatest mistake is believing the first. That girl that you are doing bible study together is being taken care of in many different rooms on a steady.

If you understand women, you won't Love them, and if you Love them, you won't understand them.

DON'T BE DECIEVE NOBODY CAN SATISFIED A WOMAN,IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, THE DAY YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT HER, IT WILL SHOCK YOU.KEEP PLAYING

Unfortunately you can never understand women

otipoju:
What a woman says she wants and what she actually responds to are to different things entirely.

A man's greatest mistake is believing the first. That girl that you are doing bible study together is being taken care of in many different rooms on a steady.

The problem is that you men classify women in your head into good & bad aka fit for a wife and fit for a good time. You don't believe that a woman can love praying and sex; a girl who is serious with her studies can also love phone intimacy; a mother who loves her children can also give a mean BJ.

And because of that classification in your head, you only show the side that will bring out the side of her you 'approve' of.

The men who enjoy their women are those who understand that their women are whole, rounded human beings who love different things.

The men who can pray with their wives and do BJ on 3rd mainland; the ones who can get their bubu wearing wives a quickie on their neighbours' staircase; the men who understand that their akpu pounding wives don't mind a spank and doggy style.

On the other hand, a woman wants a rounded man. A woman can want a kind, responsible, reliable, tongue speaking man who gives a great head, can bring flowers and a great tease.

A good visual example is the good male leads in an Asian short drama. A man can a CEO, attentive to his wife, treat her like egg and still make love to her on the highway or his office table because he misses her.

I have heard men say a good 'wife' does not do BJ because she uses the same mouth to kiss her kids.

bukatyne:
The problem is that you men classify women in your head into good & bad aka fit for a wife and fit for a good time. You don't believe that a woman can love praying and sex; a girl who is serious with her studies can also love phone intimacy; a mother who loves her children can also give a mean BJ.

And because of that classification in your head, you only show the side that will bring out the side of her you 'approve' of.

The men who enjoy their women are those who understand that their women are whole, rounded human beings who love different things.

The men who can pray with their wives and do BJ on 3rd mainland; the ones who can get their bubu wearing wives a quickie on their neighbours' staircase; the men who understand that their akpu pounding wives don't mind a spank and doggy style.

On the other hand, a woman wants a rounded man. A woman can want a kind, responsible, reliable, tongue speaking man who gives a great head, can bring flowers and a great tease.

A good visual example is the good male leads in an Asian short drama. A man can a CEO, attentive to his wife, treat her like egg and still make love to her on the highway or his office table because he misses her.

I have heard men say a good 'wife' does not do BJ because she uses the same mouth to kiss her kids.

You have a point and having a freaky prayerful woman is not a bad thing.

Nevertheless you miss the whole point of pretense on the part of woman...who say the want one thing and actually respond to another.

Now if as a man you go gok yourself dey do wetin dem sey dem want, you will be missing in action of the things they actually respond to.

A woman will say she wants a good fearing man who treats her nicely and stuff....but be deeply attracted to a man who treats her like sheet and does nasty things to her.

Unlike the other guy wey dey pamper her that she sees as boring.

Me I decoded this since around 2003.
One night for instance I was on the phone with a very outwardly very pious woman and she was telling me all the things she misses in bed with her late husband and how taking care of herself is not like being taken care of.

With women na as you take come na so dem go take attend to you.

2special:
If you understand women, you won't Love them, and if you Love them, you won't understand them.

Correct!

But many men have already given their strings to women and some even say that it should be so

I even think that many crying now and giving advice where those who once hollad not "all women are bad"

bukatyne:
The problem is that you men classify women in your head into good & bad aka fit for a wife and fit for a good time. You don't believe that a woman can love praying and sex; a girl who is serious with her studies can also love phone intimacy; a mother who loves her children can also give a mean BJ.

And because of that classification in your head, you only show the side that will bring out the side of her you 'approve' of.

The men who enjoy their women are those who understand that their women are whole, rounded human beings who love different things.

The men who can pray with their wives and do BJ on 3rd mainland; the ones who can get their bubu wearing wives a quickie on their neighbours' staircase; the men who understand that their akpu pounding wives don't mind a spank and doggy style.

On the other hand, a woman wants a rounded man. A woman can want a kind, responsible, reliable, tongue speaking man who gives a great head, can bring flowers and a great tease.

A good visual example is the good male leads in an Asian short drama. A man can a CEO, attentive to his wife, treat her like egg and still make love to her on the highway or his office table because he misses her.

I have heard men say a good 'wife' does not do BJ because she uses the same mouth to kiss her kids.

All these are movie lies. Women should be categorised into good and bad but unfortunately for most men they don't know what is good or bad even though they think they do.

247man:
Unfortunately you can never understand women

Unfortunately, you can but the problem is that men don't think it is that important. Thinking making money is greater than studying women. And so they lazily deal with women based on the common sayings of others hence all the mistakes and bad experience they get

bukatyne:
The problem is that you men classify women in your head into good & bad aka fit for a wife and fit for a good time. You don't believe that a woman can love praying and sex; a girl who is serious with her studies can also love phone intimacy; a mother who loves her children can also give a mean BJ.

And because of that classification in your head, you only show the side that will bring out the side of her you 'approve' of.

The men who enjoy their women are those who understand that their women are whole, rounded human beings who love different things.

The men who can pray with their wives and do BJ on 3rd mainland; the ones who can get their bubu wearing wives a quickie on their neighbours' staircase; the men who understand that their akpu pounding wives don't mind a spank and doggy style.

On the other hand, a woman wants a rounded man. A woman can want a kind, responsible, reliable, tongue speaking man who gives a great head, can bring flowers and a great tease.

A good visual example is the good male leads in an Asian short drama. A man can a CEO, attentive to his wife, treat her like egg and still make love to her on the highway or his office table because he misses her.

I have heard men say a good 'wife' does not do BJ because she uses the same mouth to kiss her kids.

According to you "A good visual example is the good male leads in an Asian short drama. A man can a CEO, attentive to his wife, treat her like egg and still make love to her on the highway or his office table because he misses her."

Sincerely, I doubt you're more than 10 years old, citing that you are using a make-believe world to quantify a real-life expectation.

Babatunjo:
A lot of men keep drowning in relationships because they rely on advice that sounds good instead of understanding what actually works.

The interesting part is that the advice is often sincere.

Your mother, your sister, or your female friend may genuinely tell you what they believe they want. They mean well.

But attraction and long-term relationship dynamics are not always the same as what people say in conversation.

That gap is where many men get hurt.

For example:

• "Always be available for your girl." Then they find that having their own life, mission, and standards often earns more respect and attraction.

The solution?

Don't hate women. Don't argue with them when they give you advice.

Watch what consistently earns respect, attraction, and healthy relationships with them. Judge by outcomes.

Even this post will probably be dismissed by some women. And that's okay. Men still have the responsibility to learn from reality, because they are the ones who bear the consequences of getting it wrong.

I very much understand that the fantasy that plays in a woman's head is different from the reality of the average joe.

Almost all of the relationships i have been with women in the past, we have had to have contention over: "Ohh, you need to give me time." Don't get me wrong i always do and i am my significant other get to spend quality time when we see but their translation of give me time is: You need to abandon your work or hustle and chase me head over heels. They don't understand that as a man who is competing for resources with other men, you need to be on your game and your spare time is only what is available for chasing women not just anytime you feel like.


Their perspective about money/finances is different; a woman wants to spend, splurge without excercising delayed gratification. That is why when i look aback on the monies i have spent in the past with my exes, i shudder because these daughters of eve would want you to financially virtue signal to them on how best you can waste money on garbage so you can score some points on you being relationship material.


A man is situationally aware that the world can be lovely as well as it can be crude and dangerous. That is why when a man gives advices or his perspective on somethings she may not necessarily agree to it because you aren't using a lot of female word salad to paint the situation flowery or to make it look not soo bad as compared to the advise her female counterparts would give.



It is imperative as men to have ample amount of female experience, it can be brutal when you start of as a loverboy or a lover jew man. One of the reasons redpill is causing a dating crisis is because a lot of the hidden secrets or not so cool things older folks didn't tell young men or they experienced about women much later, the older folks that is, men are getting to know them now and are asking questions and the women on the other hand are furious.

GehGeh would say don't train a woman to school, rather use the money to buy a goat and use the proceeds to xyzabc419. This is because women don't understand the beauty of sacrifices, they grow into this bubble that ohh im a woman, society told me im special hence why i am entitled. Men on the other hand understand that people don't make sacrifices because of your fine face, it is because of a sense of community and duty.

Don't marry a single mother, i could say post 90s Nigeria, men marrying single mothers were never a problem, as a matter of fact, single mothers had a great deal of respect because society sees her as someone who is fertile as compared to a single girl who has never had a child. Over time people became situationally aware and saw that they needed to ask questions on why you got divorced before accepting you hook line and sinker.

Always have a cache of expectations with your significant other that you love to the high heavens because she can misbehave at any time and it should not drain you when it happens. There is a reason why amongst men they say it is important that you experience your first heartbreak early in life because if you don't, you fit run madddd when you still love her despite her misgivngs whilst she has moved on with the third party. Nowadays women misbehave and i just move on like nothing happened.

2special:
If you understand women, you won't Love them, and if you Love them, you won't understand them.

Herein lies the conclusion of the whole matter. It's why Scripture counsels men to dwell with them with wisdom!

You fuuls always say this rubbish but you never tell a woman to learn and understand men.

It's why we have more unmarried women than men because many of these women are not fit for marriage.

otipoju:
You have a point and having a freaky prayerful woman is not a bad thing.

1. Nevertheless you miss the whole point of pretense on the part of woman...who say the want one thing and actually respond to another.

Now if as a man you go gok yourself dey do wetin dem sey dem want, you will be missing in action of the things they actually respond to.

2. A woman will say she wants a good fearing man who treats her nicely and stuff....but be deeply attracted to a man who treats her like sheet and does nasty things to her.

3. Unlike the other guy wey dey pamper her that she sees as boring.

Me I decoded this since around 2003.
4. One night for instance I was on the phone with a very outwardly very pious woman and she was telling me all the things she misses in bed with her late husband and how taking care of herself is not like being taken care of.

5. With women na as you take come na so dem go take attend to you.

1. Do some women pretend? Yes. Some are trying to portray themselves based on what they perceive a man wants and some are just been intrepreted through men's lense of segmentating women.

2. Back to the matter... Does a God fearing man who treats his woman nicely negate him being freaky? Also, a God fearing man doesn't mean a good husband. The skills needed to be a good husband/ lover is different from the skills needed to be a 'God-fearing' man.

3. What some men call pampering is infantalizing the woman. If you see her as a whole, complex human being, then what you can pampering shouldn't be 'boring'.

4. You sound shocked that an 'outwardly pious woman' enjoyed a nice time with her husband & pleasures herself

5. You gerrit!

bukatyne:
1. Do some women pretend? Yes. Some are trying to portray themselves based on what they perceive a man wants and some are just been intrepreted through men's lense of segmentating women.

2. Back to the matter... Does a God fearing man who treats his woman nicely negate him being freaky? Also, a God fearing man doesn't mean a good husband. The skills needed to be a good husband/ lover is different from the skills needed to be a 'God-fearing' man.

3. What some men call pampering is infantalizing the woman. If you see her as a whole, complex human being, then what you can pampering shouldn't be 'boring'.

4. You sound shocked that an 'outwardly pious woman' enjoyed a nice time with her husband & pleasures herself

5. You gerrit!

I hear you and I understand you well. That a whole woman has several parts.

Still, with women na the hand wey you carry come dem go take follow you play.

They can be moulded or morph into any shape.