₦airaland Forum

Let us be honest about something because I think we have started misunderstanding what rejection actually means.

If someone approaches you for a date, a relationship, sex or anything romantic and you said no, you have every right to reject them. Nobody should pressure you into accepting an advance you do not want.

At the same time, the person you rejected has every right to accept your answer and remove himself from the situation. He can stop calling, stop replying to your messages, stop checking on you, or even block you if staying in contact makes it harder for him to move on. He can eventually find somebody else too.

None of these automatically means he cannot handle rejection.

Sometimes handling rejection is exactly that: accepting the rejection and moving on.

A friend once told me about a guy who had been admiring her for a while. He eventually asked her out and she told him she was not ready for a relationship. He accepted it. About three months later, he asked again, but she still refused, explaining that she had a lot going on in her life.

The guy simply said, “Okay, I will let you deal with those things.”

The guy moved on and about 2 months later, a lady who is mutual friend of mind invited me her birthday party. It was when i got there that i got to find out her boyfriend was the guy that was rejected my friend.

Days later while we were gisting I told that my friend that her former crush had finally found someone else, then she became angry.

“But I told him I needed time,” she said. “Is that why he stopped replying to my messages?”

She tried calling his number and discovered that he had even blocked her. Her conclusion was that the guy could not handle rejection.

I asked her one simple question:

“What exactly do you think handling rejection means?”

I never got an answer.

If you tell a guy that you are not interested in dating him, what exactly is he supposed to do afterwards?

Remain emotionally available while you decide whether you might eventually change your mind? Keep checking on you, listening to your problems, complimenting you and behaving like your unofficial boyfriend while you repeatedly remind him that we are “just friends”?

My sister, you did not have friends before he came along?

There is nothing wrong with genuine friendship after rejection. If both people can honestly move on and become friends without one person secretly waiting for the other to change their mind, fine.

The problem is when “let us just be friends” really means, “I do not want a relationship with you, but I still want your attention, validation, emotional support and availability.”

Some people enjoy being wanted even when they do not want the person back. They like knowing somebody is always there. When that person finally gets tired and walks away, they suddenly become wicked, proud or accuse the other party of not being able to handle rejection.

But you rejected him and He accepted it.

What exactly did you want him to do?

I have even heard ladies say that when someone disappears immediately after being rejected, it proves they only wanted their body.

Maybe he did but you still said no.

Why should he remain interested after you have told him you are not interested in him?

If a man wants a relationship with a woman and she says no, he is not obligated to become her best friend instead. The same applies to women. If a woman is rejected, she is also free to walk away and find someone who wants her.

There is a difference between rejection and disrespect. Rejecting someone is not disrespectful. Moving on after rejection is not disrespectful. Harassing, insulting, threatening or trying to punish someone for saying no or moving on after being turned down is when it becomes disrespectful.

You are entitled to reject me. I am entitled to move on.

Your “no” should be respected, but my decision to leave should also be respected.

Sometimes the person who disappears after you reject them is not bitter.

They have simply understood the assignment. You said no. They heard you. Now let them go and find their own yes.

Dey your dey. I go dey my dey.

Nairalanders what do you think?

What a waste of time.

xxxxxxx

The problem with ladies is they want you to be on the same spot they kept you. That has a way of boosting their ego

kpankpangolo:
What a waste of time.

xxxxxxx

But you read it to the end.

Haba!

Lol once I ask you once nd your answer is a straight no.... I won't ask again nor invest any emotion ever again

Some Nigerian ladies love playing the scripts of telemundo

When they tell you some girls be like witches u go dy doubt...how will you explain that u rejected someone and same you dont want him to be with someone else..as queen eliza

ARISHEM:
Some Nigerian ladies love playing the scripts of telemundo

ah swear there heads are filled with all these crazy fantasies they see in TV,by the time when they go realize they dn clock 35 hence feminism and bitterness go be their full time job

Wahala for those when still dey for dating market

When u go atm to go withdraw money and it's out of order, wee you not go any try another one

Those ladies want the guy on their leash in perpetuity!

Cut the leash and move on!

Everyone has their own time.

If A is not ready let B move on!

And nobody should regret his/her decision!

honestly
u dont like someone and you cant still let the person move on

areu a witch

Na guys wey ask girl out even dey try for them self. Na invite me dey do.

Make everyone dey their dey.

E no pass like that.

😂😂😅🤣🤣😅😅😅
😂😂🤣😅😅🤣😂😂
Talk to me directly
Naso e don me ooooooo
I moved on, quarrel come start
I no look back Sha till date
The best decision l ever made ever.....

If actually you get self worth, once you are rejected never ever ever go back to the ones who rejected you
Never ever

Oh, so just because you liked them doesn't mean anything's wrong? Let’s see if you’re still convinced!

Technical Writer

Dpsychologist:
Nairalanders what do you think?

Na their way….

The way a man will not want to marry a lady but still want to fvck her once in a while …. They too like to retain the bragging rights that they have ur mumu button….as long as you are good looking .and okay

But If u ugly like mad….?? hahahahahaha… !!

kpankpangolo:
What a waste of time.

xxxxxxx

A waste of time of what exactly

stan4b:
Most women and their fish brain.
Always trying to eat their cake and still have it.

This is a very sexist statement

Some of them will still be stalking you through 3rd party after you have blocked them. Ladies, learn to move on cos the sky is big enough for everyone to experience true love.

Me I no dey toast any lady...

we start chatting and i invite you for fuckin.

If you no do, bye

This exact situation happened to me during my Lautech days. There was this girl had my eyes on, so I took my shot. She told me she wasn't ready for a relationship. Not once, not twice, but three times over the course of a semester. The final straw came one evening when I was walking her back to her hostel. A car pulled up, and one of those "big boys" on campus driving his flashy Honda Bullet, rolled down the window. You should have seen the way this girl suddenly lit up. She practically started jumping up and down. She completely disregarded me, hopped into the car, and simply said she would see me later. I was the laughingstock of the people who witnessed the whole thing.

About two days later, she saw me sitting peacefully under a tree waiting for my next lecture. She came over and started giving me a half-hearted apology, not really an apology for what she had done, but more like an attempt to smooth things over. The exchange started getting heated, and at one point she said she didn't understand why I was upset because she had already told me several times that she wasn't ready and didn't want to date me. By then, we were beginning to attract attention, so I simply told her I was good and left it at that.

Fast-forward to the following school year. I met another girl, and we became quite friendly. I didn't know the two of them knew each other until one evening when I ran into both of them in the cafeteria. I hugged my new girl, gave her a kiss, and she introduced me to my old crush as her boyfriend. You should have seen the look on her face.

Later that night, she sent me a very nasty text, after such a long time. How dare I date someone without telling her first, and her friend at that. I was like shuuu? My girlfriend eventually told me that the two of them had had a falling-out. I explained the entire situation to her, including what had happened the previous year.

The woman who had told me three times that she wasn't ready for a relationship suddenly seemed to have a problem with the fact that I had moved on and found someone else.

Na una wear monkey suit wey make am think say him na Bros.

Dating or Fornicating is mostly undefined.

Ask most of these women would not understand because they have never been romantically rejected before especially in an arrogant manner. Sometimes the best way out is to put the person behind and move on with your life especially when the person is not contributing anything meaningful to your life.
The major problem with most of these women is that they want to be getting the benefits of you being around them such ase motional support, financial assistance, psychological upliftment, intellectual contributions etc even after rejecting you. Some of these ladies go dey date other guys while using you to do bestie bestie wey no dey favor you. Some of dem girls go even get mind dey come seek for relationship advice from you when dem dey get issues with their boyfriends after rejecting you without even caring about your mental well-being. I have been there before so I know how it feels.
My brother any girl you ask out and she no gree make you just look front bounce and leave her behind. It is best for your mental well-being.

Op why are you writing epistle on top women matter?

That gender is a confused gender

They always want to eat their cake and have it, no time to check time these days

once she says, I no want; whether na relationship o, sex o, or anything, just leave her and move on!

"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women to be asked".

Stephen0mozzy:
Na una wear monkey suit wey make am think say him na Bros.

Omor! See words abeg 😂😂😂😂😂 chai!

As a man keep on improving and evolving on your former self. There are good women outside there. Never force a woman to like/love you. It comes naturally just like death.

Dpsychologist:
Let us be honest about something because I think we have started misunderstanding what rejection actually means.
If someone approaches you for a date, a relationship, sex or anything romantic and you said no, you have every right to reject them. Nobody should pressure you into accepting an advance you do not want.

At the same time, the person you rejected has every right to accept your answer and remove himself from the situation. He can stop calling, stop replying to your messages, stop checking on you, or even block you if staying in contact makes it harder for him to move on. He can eventually find somebody else too.

None of these automatically means he cannot handle rejection.

Sometimes handling rejection is exactly that: accepting the rejection and moving on.

A friend once told me about a guy who had been admiring her for a while. He eventually asked her out and she told him she was not ready for a relationship. He accepted it. About three months later, he asked again, but she still refused, explaining that she had a lot going on in her life.

The guy simply said, “Okay, I will let you deal with those things.”

The guy moved on and about 2 months later, a lady who is mutual friend of mind invited me her birthday party. It was when i got there that i got to find out her boyfriend was the guy that was rejected my friend.

Days later while we were gisting I told that my friend that her former crush had finally found someone else, then she became angry.

“But I told him I needed time,” she said. “Is that why he stopped replying to my messages?”

She tried calling his number and discovered that he had even blocked her. Her conclusion was that the guy could not handle rejection.

I asked her one simple question:

“What exactly do you think handling rejection means?”

I never got an answer.

If you tell a guy that you are not interested in dating him, what exactly is he supposed to do afterwards?

Remain emotionally available while you decide whether you might eventually change your mind? Keep checking on you, listening to your problems, complimenting you and behaving like your unofficial boyfriend while you repeatedly remind him that we are “just friends”?

My sister, you did not have friends before he came along?

There is nothing wrong with genuine friendship after rejection. If both people can honestly move on and become friends without one person secretly waiting for the other to change their mind, fine.

The problem is when “let us just be friends” really means, “I do not want a relationship with you, but I still want your attention, validation, emotional support and availability.”

Some people enjoy being wanted even when they do not want the person back. They like knowing somebody is always there. When that person finally gets tired and walks away, they suddenly become wicked, proud or accuse the other party of not being able to handle rejection.

But you rejected him and He accepted it.

What exactly did you want him to do?

I have even heard ladies say that when someone disappears immediately after being rejected, it proves they only wanted their body.

Maybe he did but you still said no.

Why should he remain interested after you have told him you are not interested in him?

If a man wants a relationship with a woman and she says no, he is not obligated to become her best friend instead. The same applies to women. If a woman is rejected, she is also free to walk away and find someone who wants her.

There is a difference between rejection and disrespect. Rejecting someone is not disrespectful. Moving on after rejection is not disrespectful. Harassing, insulting, threatening or trying to punish someone for saying no or moving on after being turned down is when it becomes disrespectful.

You are entitled to reject me. I am entitled to move on.

Your “no” should be respected, but my decision to leave should also be respected.

Sometimes the person who disappears after you reject them is not bitter.

They have simply understood the assignment. You said no. They heard you. Now let them go and find their own yes.

Dey your dey. I go dey my dey.

I love your thoughts..
Straight on point..

The audacity seff..
You said no but you want the same person to be emotionally available for you .
Some will say, I'm testing the person..
That kind yeye test.