₦airaland Forum

Sometimes I look at relationships today and wonder when love became so closely connected to cars, expensive clothes, phones, restaurants, vacations and constant financial expectations.

Money matters. Nobody should pretend otherwise. Life is expensive, especially in Nigeria. The problem begins when one person's income quietly becomes the foundation of another person's lifestyle.

This is why I would be careful dating a woman who is not working.

Being unemployed is not automatically a character flaw. Someone can lose a job, graduate and still be searching, start a business that has not taken off or genuinely be going through a difficult season.

What matters is what she is doing about it.

If she is unemployed but applying for jobs, learning something, building a business, taking small opportunities and genuinely trying to become financially independent, that is completely different from someone who has simply decided that her boyfriend is now her source of income.

Because once there is no personal income and there is also no serious effort to create one, the bills naturally start moving in your direction.

“Babe, I need transport.”

“Babe, I need data.”

“Babe, my hair is due.”

“Babe, I need to buy something.”

“Babe, I have not eaten.”

“Babe, my rent is coming.”

Before long, you are no longer dating. You are running a small government.

The dangerous part is that constant spending can eventually become normal. The first ₦20,000 feels generous. After some months, ₦50,000 becomes normal. Then ₦100,000 is no longer appreciated because it has become part of the expected lifestyle.

A man can love a woman and still refuse to become her permanent financial plan.

Personally, I would rather be with a woman who earns little but is seriously trying to improve her situation than one who earns nothing, does nothing and simply expects a man to keep funding everything.

The same principle applies to men too.

Love should make you want to build together, not make one person permanently responsible for the survival and lifestyle of the other.

Because in Nigeria, if you date someone with no income, no plan and no serious effort to change the situation, the billing may eventually become the relationship.

Dpsychologist:
Sometimes I look at relationships today and wonder when love became so closely connected to cars, expensive clothes, phones, restaurants, vacations and constant financial expectations.

Money matters. Nobody should pretend otherwise. Life is expensive, especially in Nigeria. The problem begins when one person's income quietly becomes the foundation of another person's lifestyle.

This is why I would be careful dating a woman who is not working.

Being unemployed is not automatically a character flaw. Someone can lose a job, graduate and still be searching, start a business that has not taken off or genuinely be going through a difficult season.

What matters is what she is doing about it.

If she is unemployed but applying for jobs, learning something, building a business, taking small opportunities and genuinely trying to become financially independent, that is completely different from someone who has simply decided that her boyfriend is now her source of income.

Because once there is no personal income and there is also no serious effort to create one, the bills naturally start moving in your direction.

“Babe, I need transport.”

“Babe, I need data.”

“Babe, my hair is due.”

“Babe, I need to buy something.”

“Babe, I have not eaten.”

“Babe, my rent is coming.”

Before long, you are no longer dating. You are running a small government.

The dangerous part is that constant spending can eventually become normal. The first ₦20,000 feels generous. After some months, ₦50,000 becomes normal. Then ₦100,000 is no longer appreciated because it has become part of the expected lifestyle.

A man can love a woman and still refuse to become her permanent financial plan.

Personally, I would rather be with a woman who earns little but is seriously trying to improve her situation than one who earns nothing, does nothing and simply expects a man to keep funding everything.

The same principle applies to men too.

Love should make you want to build together, not make one person permanently responsible for the survival and lifestyle of the other.

Because in Nigeria, if you date someone with no income, no plan and no serious effort to change the situation, the billing may eventually become the relationship.


Cc nlfpmod seun Onegai, Mariangeles, farano, dominique, Rocktation

This is the bane of Nigerians' celebrity life styles. Wonder why popular people die after all the years of spending lavishly and then hit the rocks with ill health. Yoruba get one saying....

Leave woman for where she dey if you nor get money to care for her basic needs.
If she agrees to work and support financially, that's ok but not to be taken as a matter of must for all women to contribute financially towards the day to day running of the home.
A man is naturally the provider, the protector after God and the head of his home.

Love is not blind... Lust is actually the blind thing
We now live in a plasticized society hence the consequences of the lust playing out in the name of love..

Comprehension is far from you,Q.E.D

YouandiAllofus:
Leave woman for where she dey if you nor get money to care for her basic needs.
If she agrees to work and support financially, that's ok but not to be taken as a matter of must for all women to contribute financially towards the day to day running of the home.
A man is naturally the provider, the protector after God and the head of his home.

YouandiAllofus:
Leave woman for where she dey if you nor get money to care for her basic needs.
If she agrees to work and support financially, that's ok but not to be taken as a matter of must for all women to contribute financially towards the day to day running of the home.
A man is naturally the provider, the protector after God and the head of his home.

keep up with this backwards mentality till you kpai

Untill you start dating foreigners that's when you will know that naija women is premium nonsense

YouandiAllofus:
Leave woman for where she dey if you nor get money to care for her basic needs.
If she agrees to work and support financially, that's ok but not to be taken as a matter of must for all women to contribute financially towards the day to day running of the home.
A man is naturally the provider, the protector after God and the head of his home.

Oga to slap you dey hungry me

Sometimes, the ladies aren't the problem. Some men and tribes with inferiority complex depend on money to lure women to love them.

A certain 9ja tribe completely rely on money to marry their wives or give their daughters to the highest bidder. The more money you spend to buy their daughter's heart, the more the lady and her family love you.

The call this their custom / tradition.

Now imagine how those particular group of people perceive dating.

YouandiAllofus:
Leave woman for where she dey if you nor get money to care for her basic needs.
If she agrees to work and support financially, that's ok but not to be taken as a matter of must for all women to contribute financially towards the day to day running of the home.
A man is naturally the provider, the protector after God and the head of his home.

Seems like you didn't read the whole post but jump to comment after one sentence.

DaddyRochie1642:
Oga to slap you dey hungry me

abeg no slap am, na sense where he no get cause am

These days, most people, especially ladies, see love as transactional. The basic reason is because seks is now equated to love.....the guys think with money, you get laid easily while the ladies think giving out seks is the easiest way to get money.

Entanglement:
keep up with this backwards mentality till you kpai

Untill you start dating foreigners that's when you will know that naija women is premium nonsense

Isn't this the same formula you guys are using to forster I'll-baked president on the country?

Men want sex .
Women want money.

They are just using "RELATIONSHIP" to deceive themselves.

Except the relationship is devoid of (expectation of) sex and money , let the best trickster win!

McCarlito:
Love is not blind... Lust is actually the blind thing
We now live in a plasticized society hence the consequences of the lust playing out in the name of love..

The whole thing is lust.
Men want to have sex with women who are not their wives under the disguise of relationship and love.

The women are billing them to avoid being complete losers and appearing cheap.

More than 90% of Naija ladies are broke and they expect you to foot their bills.
Even the few ones earning money are ambitious and still expect their man to support them financially

spiceadole:
The whole thing is lust.
Men want to have sex with women who are not their wives under the disguise of relationship and love.

The women are billing them to avoid being complete losers and appearing cheap.

When you're matured enough; we can converse on this topic.. But then again; don't quote me with this brains of yours

Dpsychologist:
Sometimes I look at relationships today and wonder when love became so closely connected to cars, expensive clothes, phones, restaurants, vacations and constant financial expectations.


Because in Nigeria, if you date someone with no income, no plan and no serious effort to change the situation, the billing may eventually become the relationship.

It appears relationship love is no more in Nigeria ...if no money to spend

The only woman aside your mother you’re supposed to spend on is your wife.

Is getting abi it's expensive...
Go toast babe today and see how you go turn to father, brother, Uncle, aunty, pastor, bad boy, good boy, cheerful giver, donor, problem solver etc

Follygunners:
Sometimes, the ladies aren't the problem. Some men and tribes with inferiority complex depend on money to lure women to love them.

A certain 9ja tribe completely rely on money to marry their wives or give their daughters to the highest bidder. The more money you spend to buy their daughter's heart, the more the lady and her family love you.

The call this their custom / tradition.

Now imagine how those particular group of people perceive dating.

Funny enough, the supposedly tribe that does opposite of what you have allegedly accused the other tribe of has the highest number of dysfunctional homes and out of wedlock children.

Hypocrisy and ethnocentrism will finish you and your likes.

A woman that can't afford personal things for herself needs a job not a relationship.

Opportunities abound more for women than ever now.

Well communicated!
I really do not look forward to having a woman who is not working and so comfortable with that .
Fine !
Unemployment do happens.
The pertinent question is what is she doing about her situation?
Is she actively looking for a job or choose to fall back on give-me-money-for-this-and-that.
Some males may be comfortable with that .
At the end , I think it bores down to the individual, to one's value system.

Speak for yourself. Only gullible men who made love expensive.

DaddyRochie1642:
Oga to slap you dey hungry me

You want to fok, cum like a goat and run away when it comes to your responsibilities? It's just money you know... Nothing much demanded.
Abi u nor be head of the house again?

They are doing business not love.

A beautiful girl once walked into my office and we got talking, she ticked ALL my boxes infact i never believed in love at 1st sight but this girl made me a believer, it wasnt love at 1st sight, it was love at 1st glance. She looked like a model from the boys2men life magazines and indeed i was to later discover she was actually a model. She actually did it to fund herself through school.

Then one cool evening while i was thinking about how i was gonna put a ring on it like my crush beyounce sang, Shawty asked me for money.. yes money. Immidiately i knew this budding relationship was going nowhere and wasnt going to stand the rain talkless of the test of time, still hoping against hope i proceeded to ask her a series a questions cos i didnt want to believe she didnt have family or friends to run to b4 me.

Unsatisfied with her answer neverthless i gave her the money. It was supposed to be a loan but i knew i wouldnt ask for it back and she didnt bother to return it either.

This was the begining of the end of my relationship with my would be, could be wifey.

spiceadole:
The whole thing is lust.
Men want to have sex with women who are not their wives under the disguise of relationship and love.

The women are billing them to avoid being complete losers and appearing cheap.

Ok! What about the man that doesn't want your body? How do you roll with a man that loves you genuinely?

spiceadole:
The whole thing is lust.
Men want to have sex with women who are not their wives under the disguise of relationship and love.

The women are billing them to avoid being complete losers and appearing cheap.

No man should give a woman money for sex, women enjoy the sex more than men, all the hard work are done by men why should I give money after my labour

patrickcollins:
No man should give a woman money for sex, women enjoy the sex more than men, all the hard work are done by men why should I give money after my labour

Gbam!
It is now as if only men want the sex...I don't even understand some women and their thinking.
Some women won't even allow you rest with sex; everytime it is "I feel like having sex".

Herberthansome:
Comprehension is far from you,Q.E.D

Na TIfnubu supporter.

That’s how all of them are.

Thier fingers are faster than their brain.

They comment before reading.

You will be wondering if they are reacting to the same article you just read or it’s something else.

YouandiAllofus:
Leave woman for where she dey if you nor get money to care for her basic needs.
If she agrees to work and support financially, that's ok but not to be taken as a matter of must for all women to contribute financially towards the day to day running of the home.
A man is naturally the provider, the protector after God and the head of his home.

what if I no wan be the head again 😁

Right from human creation, Love has always been expensive. Nothing has changed apart from inflation.