₦airaland Forum

Thanks to all that made the Season 2 of this e-Summit a success; via speaking and comments. I'm hopefully looking forward to a different and better platform for the Season 3. This thread officially closes! Thank you all

Adaeze003: Well I don't think its a good idea to have one person speak for the girls and another speak for the guys!

If a girl who does all that viv said/wrote meets a guy that does what saga said/wrote we all know that the relationship won't work. Why? Well on one side of the ring we have a lady who thinks she's more important and on the other a guy who thinks he is.

I know I'm not a speaker but I just have to say this, a relationship is not a freaken warfare! Its about the TWO people involved! None is the 'boss' of anyone(that's just childish). Its about two MATURE people coming together to make life more beautiful and complete and in my opinion, for it to work you just need to love the person.

Yea I know everyone says love is not enough but I don't mean that giddy feeling you get when you just start dating(that will definitly fade ) I mean love the person enough to want to understand, tolerate and even compromise on what makes you happy for him/her as long as its reciprocated. Love is never one sided, if you don't feel like you're getting the same in return then the love isn't there. In other words, don't do all the loving!.

Well I know there's more(other technical/important details) but I hate to bore peeps with long articles. Still, I hope ya'll got my point.

A relationship stops being warfare when both people are attracted to each other and are mature, rational and respectful towards each other.

I am sorry to say, you don't get that with most girls nowadays until they get their sedative. It is very rare to get it.

It is easy to get a nice relationship with a girl that is moderately attractive.

But a girl that is extremely attractive usually requires some work at the initial phase until her sedative arrives because of her own immaturity, irrationality and pushing the buttons.

That work is the control system.

Yes, most good looking women are childish. They are selfish, rude and inconsiderate because they are used to many men willing to take their shyt. They also use it as a test of a man's mettle.

If one wants to go for unattractive women, my advice is completely irrelevant.

And by the way, my life is complete without being in a relationship with a woman. That mentality of mine I love and works very well for me. As long as I can get some babes on the side with no strings attached, my life dey kampe.

vivianc: His response was, "Nothing, you were really cool. But you loved me too much that you lost your self control and started chasing me. And you let me get away with so much crap and those things killed my interest."

Guess what? He was right! He would always tell me, "You love me too much, its choking me. Allow me to come for you, allow me to miss you." For years i classified him as a jerk until recently I realised he wasn't. I chased him away with my actions.

Another guy told me,"No matter how perfect a lady is and how much she loves me, once she starts chasing me my interest dies. I'd want her to love me but I want to do the chasing."

Another one who has been chasing me for years now told me something. I asked him,"why don't you wanna leave me and go find someone else?" His response was," The more you run and I chase you, the more excited I get."

Ah!

As I said in my initial post, some guys will love this: chasing.

I hate it with a passion. I like to flirt but I fcking don't chase. If you run, you will only be running from your own shadows because I will not chase, I will waka towards another direction.

I like it easy. That is what gets my juices going. To meet a girl and feel a connection, not feel insults.

That does not mean I would like a woman that will try and suffocate me. That is a different thing!

vivianc: 3 of my female married friends said," The reason I married my husband was because he refused to go away, he was really crazy about me but I didn't feel the same. The man I was even busy chasing did not have time for me, he was busy chasing someone else."

vivianc: My cousin sister said," Before I married my husband, I left him becos I wasn't crazy about him and started dating a guy I was crazy about. I would fly from Abj to Phc every weekend to be with him, cook, clean, do his laundry. I was always the one begging him or else we would keep malice for weeks. I was always crying. All my friends advised I should leave the guy but I was determined to make it work. One day, I brought up the "M" word, he told me I was desperate, that i was putting pressure on him. His statement hurt me so much that we got into a fight and he stopped talking to me, when I cooled off I went to him to apologise but he told me he needed space. I had to fly back to Abj. All this while I was killing myself for this guy, my husband was still chasing me. One day I finally made up my mind and married him and I have never regretted it since then."

These are examples of the unfortunate guys that married women that love the way they (the men) loves them, not that the women love these guys, which I always allude to.

God forbid bad thing in my life.

That is a useless relationship in my world and selling myself short.

Nonso23: @Vivianc,
Since all you have listed although genuine are generally a facade the woman puts up in order "screen out" one timers from the 'real man'; i am forced to ask, after the ring what next?

Do you believe it will be easy to put on a mask for the rest of the 'till death do us part' duration of an ideal marriage
I have heard a lot and witnessed a few marital altercations whose bane was simply "you are not the same person i married" I say this because try hard as you may no woman is as emotionally indifferent as you want this post to make them; at least not for such a long time.
How do you think she'll feel in the marriage when she knows the instant she fully opens up her emotions, fears, wants to get all mushy on the road side due to spontaneity, starts becoming healthily clingy, wants to do all those beautiful things she sees other couples do then the game is up??

Also in your examples, you cited cases where the women gave up the man they loved and settled for the ones that loved them. Isn't this one sided?
Isn't it unfair to any man to realize that his wife settled for him as second best?? (marriage is too long for such information to be bottled up)

These are my questions..

Many cases like that.

Many, many cases!

Thank God it mostly happens to "Real Men" and men without confidence.

Men are like buses in a woman's 20's. You miss one, there will be another one coming along in a minute. In her 40's, men become like parking spaces: all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped or not so good.

Sagamite: Men are like buses in a woman's 20's. You miss one, there will be another one coming along in a minute. In her 40's, men become like parking spaces: all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped or not so good.

Copy and paste. SMH

Please tell me when you have matured and experienced speakers please

Vivianc must have read back to back
'Why men love bitches'
And 'why men marry bitches'
Back to back
Written by sherry argov. Everything she's saying is in there.
Babes grab your copies today and won't regret it.
I always read those books too. That lady speaks my mind

lorretta u: Vivianc must have read back to back
'Why men love bitches'
And 'why men marry bitches'
Back to back
Written by sherry argov. Everything she's saying is in there.
Babes grab your copies today and won't regret it.
I always read those books too. That lady speaks my mind

Vivianc... Still can't believe Shez dead.

Pls., can somebody help me on a REAL source to confirm Vivianc is alive. . .pls!

D-Explorer:
Pls., can somebody help me on a REAL source to confirm Vivianc is alive. . .pls!

Dee, she left us!

Idowuogbo: Dee, she left us!

See, there's no way Vivian would have died. She was very alive all through our conversations. Yes, she said was sick but told me she was GETTING BETTER also. A contact to her family member would help. Pls., PM me if you've it.

D-Explorer:
See, there's no way Vivian would have died. She was very alive all through our conversations. Yes, she said was sick but told me she was GETTING BETTER also. A contact to her family member would help. Pls., PM me if you've it.

Dee, she's gone! I called and mumsi told me Vivian is gone. I sent a message to vivi's phone on whatapps, her sis replied saying the same thing. Dee, she's gone!!!!!

Damn!

So how may of these experts have been in a relationship for more than 1 year...im talking about a healthy relationship

Yea

rosebetty: Vivianc... Still can't believe Shez dead.

Idowuogbo: Dee, she's gone! I called and mumsi told me Vivian is gone. I sent a message to vivi's phone on whatapps, her sis replied saying the same thing. Dee, she's gone!!!!!

What the hell is going on?

You mean the NL poster, VivianC, passed on?

Sagamite: What the hell is going on?

You mean the NL poster, VivianC, passed on?

Yes!

Idowuogbo: Yes!

Wow!

What happened? Any news on what happened to her?

Sagamite: Wow!

What happened? Any news on what happened to her?

Typhoid/ malaria.

That country is fevked mahn!

Idowuogbo: Typhoid/ malaria.

That country is fevked mahn!

What a pure shithole place.

Typhoid? My neighbour died last wk from typhoid! Its turning into an epidemic i tink. RIP vivian, i met you quite late with arguments tho but at least you left an impression. RIPP

I still cant believe she's dead....God why? Why? Why? ...its so unfair...dis country is shvt!

WAT !!!. Is this how people die RIP vivianc

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I have been following this thread, but never taken my time to go through...she was my reason for reading through.

She IS just the way D-exp described her.

Though we never had anything in common here, but I can't denied being proudly associated with u!

I pray u found grace before the throne of God.

Well, after a week NL break in honour of you and your logical writings here, i think i'm alive again. By His grace the Nairaland Singles & Married e-Summit Season 3 shall be dedicated to your memory. Sleep well Vivianc!

vivianc:
@Adaeze: I don't know how to say this but if you still believe a woman's biological clock ticks, you shouldn't be here.

Then unto other things, would you love a man if you are not absolutely sure he loves you? Do you give your all on a platter of gold without a man earning it? If you do, good for you!

God as our creator loved us first. Isaac in the bible worked for 14yrs free of charge just to prove his love for his wife. From Genesis to Revelation, there is no where God commanded women to love their husbands, nah, that commandment was given to men. Infact, there was a punishment God attached to this command if any man defaults, he said his blessing won't be available for that man. He commanded women to reciprocate and submit, why? Because he knew women would be abused the other way round.

There was no where in my posts that I said women should act as if they are more important, no, I said women should love themselves first, then allow the men to love them before they give their all.

So if you don't consider worthy enough to be fought, honestly that's ur biz.

Hmm very interesting piece

Sagamite:
Men are like buses in a woman's 20's. You miss one, there will be another one coming along in a minute. In her 40's, men become like parking spaces: all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped or not so good.

Hmm food for thought