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Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 4:41pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
So this past friday I was having a chat with a female colleague at the office and our conversation skewed into more personal matters including marriage and family. She mentioned that she wouldn't mind marrying a man that already has a wife, but that the man should just not show it to any of them that he loves one more than the other (I was wondering how this can be possible). She said she wouldn't mind because she has come to realise that most men cheat, whether married or not, so wouldn't it be better to marry one that you already know the other person he's sleeping with. She mentioned that she comes from a polygamous home, but that none of the wives stay with the husband. The wives live on their on with the kids. This was actually quite informative to me as I haven't been privy to such before, and I never really had a friend that was/is from a polygamous home. So ladies, would you actually consider being someone's 2nd, 3rd, 4th wife? And if you're the 1st wife, would you mind if your husband takes on a 2nd wife? My opinion on this is reserved for now as I'd really want to hear from the ladies. And if you're from a polygamous home, do share your experience please. Thank you 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 4:44pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
My cousins lived in a polygamous home. Their childhood was hell. Your co-worker should go and live in one for a month. 5 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by suregurl(f): 4:52pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
No woman will willingly say she want to marry from a polygamous family. What supposed to be for one will be shared by two/more in polygamous marriage/family.... Still waiting for the elders/experienced to comment..... 4 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by babygirlfl: 4:57pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
masonkz: Polygamous men still cheat. To answer your question, I never considered becoming a second wife and I can't be in a polygamous home. 13 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by EfemenaXY: 5:06pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
masonkz: Do you not find the bolded bit of your post quite demeaning and insultive? Why are you trying so hard to sell the polygamy ticket on here? 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:11pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
EfemenaXY: I'm sorry if I sounded demeaning and insultive. I would never want that. I actually don't support polygamy, and everyone that knows me on Nairaland knows my stance on it. I was just surprised when my colleague said she wouldn't mind. I've also come to realise that it's men that keep screaming for a polygamous home, and not women themselves. More reason why I wanted a woman's perspective. 6 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:16pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
babygirlfl: Yeah, that was a pretty dumb thing for her to say. 8 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by EfemenaXY: 5:16pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
masonkz: More like you're trying to instigate a religious fight on a holy day. Is your colleague Muslim? If she is or comes from an Islamic background, that should more than answer your question. For some, it's a way of life and if that's how they as adults choose to live their lives, then you'd do best to respect them for it. There are cultures out there that also practice Polyandry. Would that "surprise" you too? Live and let live, abeg. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:18pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
EfemenaXY: Lady, calm down. You are looking for drama where there is none. He's asking a simple survey question, and you're demanding to know why he didn't make a sweeping generalization from one woman's comments. 13 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:18pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
That lady must be 37 and counting 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by EfemenaXY: 5:21pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
MissMeiya: On the contrary, I am calm. I suspect he knows her religious background and she's probably Muslim. So if he knows that, then why the very unintelligent question? What's his hidden Agenda? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
No, i won't stand sharing my man with a fellow woman. And i wouldn't dare dating a married man talk more of marrying a man who already has a wife. 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:23pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
MissMeiya:I'm raised in polygamous home, I didn't see any hell there. There are hell in monogamous home too, stop the shii. suregurl:The irony part of your post is that we can see women preferring/go into polygamous marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
EfemenaXY: If you notice, I've left out religion out of the post. This is clearly because I understand that this would be subjective and more of a person's opinion than anything else. Yes, there are cultures that may promote polygamy, but that doesn't mean everyone from such culture/religion would wanna go by it. @bold, I definitely respect her views on that of course, or did I also sound judgemental? I only asked for other people's views on this, and any experience from polygamous homes. Thanks 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
EfemenaXY: The insults are highly unnecessary. Why the defensiveness and paranoia? Why are you bringing religion into it? My grandfather and uncles were polygamous and they were Christians. You need to back up and chill. 20 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:25pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
tintingz: Then you were lucky. I've seen terrible fights between wives and their children that last until adulthood. To this day, my father can't trust his siblings enough to let them serve him food. How fĂșcked up is that? My aunt was held down by the other wife and her children and... And that's just one of the things that I know of. Your case is rare. 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:25pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
babygirlfl:Same as monogamous men. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Nobody: 5:29pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
tintingz: If you saw what she bolded, you would understand her comment. Stop being defensive. She said being polygamous doesn't stop mean from cheating. I.e. monogamous cheating men will still cheat in a polygamous marriage. Notice her use of the word "still". 9 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by babygirlfl: 5:29pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
tintingz: Please read the op's post again and see why I wrote that. 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:32pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
MissMeiya:I'm not lucky, I don't really believe in that word. Different family with their problems, in my polygamous home I came from I never experienced any fight, conflicts till date. The problem is not with the marriage setting, the problem is with we humans. 5 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by EfemenaXY: 5:34pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
MissMeiya: What's insultive about my post? What paranoic about my post? What's defensive about my post? Now let's put all of this in perspective. If I open up a thread titled: Guys, would you consider marrying into a polyandrous home? What sort of reaction do you think such a thread would elicit? More importantly, what would be my real reason for opening up such a thread? 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by suregurl(f): 5:34pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
tintingz:something else must be attached to marrying from polygamous family for the few(women) that choosed to. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:35pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
EfemenaXY:So it is only Muslims that go into polygamy? 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by EfemenaXY: 5:37pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
masonkz: Okay. So answer my question then. Is she Muslim? Or from an Islamic background? Surely you should know the answer to that, seeing as she's your colleague, yes? |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by EfemenaXY: 5:38pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
tintingz: Did I explicitly state that it's only Muslims who go into polygamy? |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:42pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
babygirlfl: suregurl:The lady the op talked about said something about knowing who her husband is sleeping with, she never said polygamous men don't cheat. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by Mintayo(m): 5:49pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
EfemenaXY:I think i understand the angle you are coming from. I will like d Op to answer the question too. MissMeiya:he will be defensive because he is a muslim,he believes in polygamy! 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:50pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
suregurl:What attachment? Most of these women in polygamous marriage were not forced into it. |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:53pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
MissMeiya:she's just being biased. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by EfemenaXY: 5:55pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
^^ Really? How? |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by cococandy(f): 5:58pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Dey don come again OP as a first wife the answer to your question is no. I won't tolerate polygamy 6 Likes |
Re: Ladies, Would You Consider Marrying Into A Polygamous Family? by tintingz(m): 5:58pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
EfemenaXY:and why did you bring religion into this? The first thing that comes to your mind about the lady op is talking about is that she's from a Muslim background? My neighbor here is a Christian and a polygamous man in his marriage. Nigeria culture is into polygamy why not ask questions about that? 6 Likes |
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