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Confronting The Mistress - Family - Nairaland

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Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? / Dehinde Fernandez Mistress, Halima Buries Him In Belgium - Akinsco28 / Should A Wife Confront The Husband's Mistress? (2) (3) (4)

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Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 11:57am On Oct 30, 2014
First of all a few disclaimers; the aim of this thread is not to justify cheating or encourage violence. Cheating is a choice that people make and cannot be justified in any way. Ok, so back to the thread.

I have noticed a new trend on Nairaland, such that, if a married man is cheating; the wife is advised not to bother with the mistress but to face her husband as he is the only one she has business with. When some wives say they plan to confront their husband’s mistress, the general advice is that she has no business with the mistress.

I agree to an extent; but I think sometimes some of these mistresses need to be taught a lesson. The two (man and mistress) people are cheating and both the husband and the mistress should be taught a lesson if possible. There is a lot at stake in marriage especially if you have put in a lot into it.

You can imagine a woman who married her husband when he had nothing. And together they worked hard and she even made personal sacrifices so that they can have a good life. The family finally starts living well; house(s), cars, kids in good schools, then some silly chic somewhere starts giving the husband all the greenlight. For some of these young girls, once they see a successful man; they just begin to flirt. So, in my opinion, the wife should not just sit down there are watch her husband misbehave with these Jezebels; she should fight for her marriage and if need be, give that stupid chic a few slaps. Then she can go home and confront her husband as she deems fit. Some of these young chics are just home breakers who want to reap where they did not sow, and I support wives who want to teach them a lesson. While we should all condemn married men that cheat, we should also strongly condemn young chics that date married men.

Please this is not meant to encourage cheating or violence but sometimes we have to fight for what we believe in. Abi how una see am?

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 12:08pm On Oct 30, 2014
You say you dont want to encourage violence then go ahead and promote it.

What if while giving the mistress a "few slaps" she breaks your head, tears off your clothes and strips you naked? In addition to a hurting marriage you now have a battered ego, face and head.

Why I never encourage confronting the mistress is because the vow is between you and the man. Any man who cant keep the vow shouldnt make it, marriage is not by force, when you get in be aware of your responsibility.

If I labor with my husband and he gets "tempted " and cant resist the temptation its his choice, no matter how she seduces him as long as he wasnt drugged and rap-ed he gets to answer for his actions.

The mistress didnt not take a vow with me. She didnt sign in court or swear to God. She does not owe me fidelity the man who signed and swore does. I am not a savage or do I have energy to go slapping and fighting to clear a grown adults mess.

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Re: Confronting The Mistress by bukatyne(f): 12:09pm On Oct 30, 2014
Nashville:
First of all a few disclaimers; the aim of this thread is not to justify cheating or encourage violence. Cheating is a choice that people make and cannot be justified in any way. Ok, so back to the thread.

I have noticed a new trend on Nairaland, such that, if a married man is cheating; the wife is advised not to bother with the mistress but to face her husband as he is the only one she has business with. When some wives say they plan to confront their husband’s mistress, the general advice is that she has no business with the mistress.

I agree to an extent; but I think sometimes some of these mistresses need to be taught a lesson. The two (man and mistress) people are cheating and both the husband and the mistress should be taught a lesson if possible. There is a lot at stake in marriage especially if you have put in a lot into it.

You can imagine a woman who married her husband when he had nothing. And together they worked hard and she even made personal sacrifices so that they can have a good life. The family finally starts living well; house(s), cars, kids in good schools, then some silly chic somewhere starts giving the husband all the greenlight. For some of these young girls, once they see a successful man; they just begin to flirt. So, in my opinion, the wife should not just sit down there are watch her husband misbehave with these Jezebels; she should fight for her marriage and if need be, give that stupid chic a few slaps. Then she can go home and confront her husband as she deems fit. Some of these young chics are just home breakers who want to reap where they did not sow, and I support wives who want to teach them a lesson. While we should all condemn married men that cheat, we should also strongly condemn young chics that date married men.

Please this is not meant to encourage cheating or violence but sometimes we have to fight for what we believe in. Abi how una see am?

@Bolded: LOL!

I am of the school that the wife has no business with the mistress because she did not promise to be faithful to the wifey and if the husband is an 'animasahun', how many mistresses will wifey beat up? What if the mistress has more influence and does something horrible to her and their kids (if any)?

However, if a girl is chasing a married man who is not interested and the wifey gets to find out, the wife can warn the mistress to leave her husband alone.

Some husbands are c.razy and will send their wives parking/deal with her for harassing the mistress. I know of a story; hubby had a mistress and wifey went to beat the mistress up and tear her clothes in her school. Mistress tells hubby and they both plan to send the wife away. The mistress said she just wanted to eat 'small' out of the man but as wifey disgraced her, she must have the man all to her self and she succeeded. As at when I saw them, the mistress now wife was having the second child. (That was about 6yrs ago and I think they are still together).

Honestly, married men and women should just put it in their pants

7 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 12:10pm On Oct 30, 2014
About fighting for what we believe in, If the man believed in us he will fight whatever temptation. That he cheated means he doesnt believe in us in the first place, so there is nothing to fight for

12 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by sheunfemix: 12:16pm On Oct 30, 2014
I'll defiantly give any lady that messes with my man more than a few biitch slapping!! Here in Nigeria especially, a cheating man is left alone but if the wife cheats she is tagged as a wh0re. I'm not saying any of d parties sud cheat but a lot of customs and beliefs always put women @ d receiving end. The lady will get it big time! I won't do street or fist fighting, naa I'm more dan dat but I'll screw her up in worse ways and I'll fight dirty angry

1 Like

Re: Confronting The Mistress by ifyalways(f): 12:19pm On Oct 30, 2014
LMAO @ thread title.

Confront mistress ke? Unless na novice in the game. Try that kain nonsense with Lekki babes/Unilag girls and have yourself to blame. They will sooooooooooooo deal with you physically, spiritually and emotionally. Those girls are very dangerous according to 2Face.

Abeg, that fight is not worth fighting for anything. Plus its not justified anywhere. A woman has only her husband to hold accountable, nothing concern the other woman/women.

BTW,When would husband's start confronting the other man, abi na master I go call am so ? tongue

8 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by pickabeau1: 12:20pm On Oct 30, 2014
sheunfemix:
I'll defiantly give any lady that messes with my man more than a few biitch slapping!! Here in Nigeria especially, a cheating man is left alone but if the wife cheats she is tagged as a wh0re. I'm not saying any of d parties sud cheat but a lot of customs and beliefs always put women @ d receiving end. The lady will get it big time! I won't do street or fist fighting, naa I'm more dan dat but I'll screw her up in worse ways and I'll fight dirty angry
All i see here na voking...
Can you be more specific grin
Re: Confronting The Mistress by tpia6: 12:25pm On Oct 30, 2014
If you want to be a mistress, better choose a man with an easy going wife who will mind her own business and not disturb you.


Lord have mercy.

If you aim for a man who is not the above, you're oyo o.

2 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by coogar: 12:26pm On Oct 30, 2014
ifyalways:
LMAO @ thread title.

Confront mistress ke? Unless na novice in the game. Try that kain nonsense with Lekki babes/Unilag girls and have yourself to blame. They will sooooooooooooo deal with you physically, spiritually and emotionally. Those girls are very dangerous according to 2Face.

Abeg, that fight is not worth fighting for anything. Plus its not justified anywhere. A woman has only her husband to hold accountable, nothing concern the other woman/women.

why should any wife confront a mistress?
unless the mistress took her skinny legs into the matrimonial home, the wife has no business with her. she should face her husband - she made vows to the hubby, not an unknown mistress.

1 Like

Re: Confronting The Mistress by sheunfemix: 12:31pm On Oct 30, 2014
pickabeau1:

All i see here na voking...
Can you be more specific grin
cheesy na mouth I get o. But rily I've seen mistresses Ruin homes cos the wives are quite. Wen I was in secondary schl our landlord was made nothing cos of all this yeye girls. He worked in American Embassy and was always travelling around but the last tym I saw him, I pitied him. Now his wife is d one feeding him. I will use all d connections I have to finish d woman o >: a girl called me one tym to tell me she was in love with my man and she was crying... I did nothing
embarassed

3 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by pickabeau1: 12:34pm On Oct 30, 2014
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Your point of view has merits just like the other school of thought

The only snag with your pov is if the girl has more connections/power than you

At bolded... was it the mistresses who ruined the home or the man who did it

So what happened after she called u grin

sheunfemix:
cheesy na mouth I get o. But rily[b] I've seen mistresses Ruin homes[/b] cos the wives are quite. Wen I was in secondary schl our landlord was made nothing cos of all this yeye girls. He worked in American Embassy and was always travelling around but the last tym I saw him, I pitied him. Now his wife is d one feeding him. I will use all d connections I have to finish d woman o >: a girl called me one tym to tell me she was in love with my man and she was crying... I did nothing
embarassed
Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 12:36pm On Oct 30, 2014
coogar:

why should any wife confront a mistress?
unless the mistress took her skinny legs into the matrimonial home, the wife has no business with her. she should face her husband - she made vows to the hubby, not an unknown mistress.

Exactly, when you go into someones house orplace of business to confront themn abroad they have the right to shoot you for trespassing or even here kill you and claim self defence.

I remember the case of Lionel Richie and his first wife, she went to the then mistresses home to confront them. Caught them in bed, the mistress called the police and laid like 6 charges on her, while the case was still on the man had divorced her and got the mistress pregnant then married her. Even though the second marriage lasted only 7 years before they divorced on account of second wifes greed first wife still lost her dignity and respect in addition to an already ended marriage

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Re: Confronting The Mistress by naijaboiy: 12:40pm On Oct 30, 2014
Some of these girls won't leave we men embarassed

No matter how hard we try,,you know say konji no dey respect man lipsrsealedgrin

I don't blame some women that confront the mistresses smiley

2 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by sheunfemix: 12:52pm On Oct 30, 2014
pickabeau1:
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Your point of view has merits just like the other school of thought

The only snag with your pov is if the girl has more connections/power than you

At bolded... was it the mistresses who ruined the home or the man who did it

So what happened after she called u grin

well let's say d man ruined his own home cos I believe u true man sud know his worth and value that of his wife. He sud also respect her enough to know that no other women is better than she is. But they are back together and d woman is now the 'oga' cos he works in her schl as headmaster cheesy she is a very strong woman too cos she is has adopted two of his mistresses kids.

As for that yeye girl dat called me cheesy her case na yaba left own. I told my man about the call and it was funny to him. I dint call her back or pick her calls again. But the next time we saw, I just ignored her. She is an half caste obviously finer. Told my boyfriend then now husband to choose and he choose me cheesy lucky him tongue

7 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by sheunfemix: 12:53pm On Oct 30, 2014
pickabeau1:
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Your point of view has merits just like the other school of thought

The only snag with your pov is if the girl has more connections/power than you

At bolded... was it the mistresses who ruined the home or the man who did it

So what happened after she called u grin

Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 1:03pm On Oct 30, 2014
I have absolutely no business with a mistress. Its my husband that will be dealt with. All my anger and aggression will be on his head alone. He took the vows with me. He wasnt forced at gun point to cheat. He did it on his own free will.
Re: Confronting The Mistress by edwife(f): 1:22pm On Oct 30, 2014
I have utterly no business with any nyama nyama girl out there....

I am the type that will meet my man and the mistress in a shop or eatery,and not raise a finger.... kiss

I do my business and waka pass them,as if i did not see them cheesy.

He will surely come back home.... wink and we will have proper talk....

3 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by Kimoni: 1:33pm On Oct 30, 2014
coogar:


why should any wife confront a mistress?
unless the mistress took her skinny legs into the matrimonial home, the wife has no business with her. she should face her husband - she made vows to the hubby, not an unknown mistress.


What if the mistress is the one doing the chasing? And has been rebuffed by the man several times but she won't stop? Or perhaps, the girl doesn't even know he is married like cococandy's example in one of the threads?

Shouldn't the woman face the mistress in this kinda situations?
Re: Confronting The Mistress by Kimoni: 1:38pm On Oct 30, 2014
edwife:
I have utterly no business with any nyama nyama girl out there....

I am the type that will meet my man and the mistress in a shop or eatery,and not raise a finger.... kiss

I do my business and waka pass them,as if i did not see them cheesy.

He will surely come back home.... wink and we will have proper talk....


Say wetin? I go break bottle for dem head! I send them??

grin grin grin
Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 1:38pm On Oct 30, 2014
Kimoni:

What if the mistress is the one doing the chasing? And has been rebuffed by the man several times but she won't stop? Or perhaps, the girl doesn't even know he is married like cococandy's example in one of the threads?
Shouldn't the woman face the mistress in this kinda situations?

The husband no fit tell her say he don marry?

Stalkers are a different case and should be reported to appropirate authorities. They are even more dangerous because they could see the wife as the only thing standing between them and the man and harm her.

So if the lady is a stalker let the police deal with her. If the woman goes to form rambo with a crazy stalker it may not end well

3 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by lertee(f): 1:40pm On Oct 30, 2014
Some Men just love it when women fight for them,they even feel better when the woman gets physical with their mistress. You see them laughing with their friends and make mockery of the two women..smh

6 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by sheunfemix: 1:42pm On Oct 30, 2014
edwife:
I have utterly no business with any nyama nyama girl out there....

I am the type that will meet my man and the mistress in a shop or eatery,and not raise a finger.... kiss

I do my business and waka pass them,as if i did not see them cheesy.

He will surely come back home.... wink and we will have proper talk....
You will waka pass!! I find dat hard to believe oh. The woman might see u are easy and if u get home to ur husband to talk things out what assurance do u have that he won't go out there to pretend to his mistress that all is well and calm @ home.

1 Like

Re: Confronting The Mistress by edwife(f): 1:42pm On Oct 30, 2014
Kimoni:



Say wetin? I go break bottle for dem head! I send them??

grin grin grin

Dear,e get level now.....

I don't do taekwondo in a public places,my guts won't even let me... cheesy

I will probably be on high heels and mini dress so why will I embarrass myself? cheesy
Re: Confronting The Mistress by edwife(f): 1:45pm On Oct 30, 2014
sheunfemix:
You will waka pass!! I find dat hard to believe oh. The woman might see u are easy and if u get home to ur husband to talk things out what assurance do u have that he won't go out there to pretend to his mistress that all is well and calm @ home.

And what makes you think he is coming to a peaceful home cheesy,i repeat i have no business with what the woman thinks,but what my man thinks.....

And trust me,he will be too scared to come back home.... wink

2 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by Kimoni: 1:46pm On Oct 30, 2014
aisha2:


The husband no fit tell her say he don marry?

Stalkers are a different case and should be reported to appropirate authorities. They are even more dangerous because they could see the wife as the only thing standing between them and the man and harm her.

So if the lady is a stalker let the police deal with her. If the woman goes to form rambo with a crazy stalker it may not end well

As the husband tell her so tey she no hear nko?

Stalkers? I am assuming the Naija scenario here. Tell me which man will go to a Naija police station and report that one babe has been disturbing him for a date despite his constant refusals? Even if the man will try to report such, tell me which policeman will leave all the unresolved murder and theft cases before him and would deem it okay to help a full grown man wade off female stalkers. Not sure we have reached that stage yet o.

3 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by pickabeau1: 1:49pm On Oct 30, 2014
Good


He was lucky he did the right thing..lol


sheunfemix:
well let's say d man ruined his own home cos I believe u true man sud know his worth and value that of his wife. He sud also respect her enough to know that no other women is better than she is. But they are back together and d woman is now the 'oga' cos he works in her schl as headmaster cheesy she is a very strong woman too cos she is has adopted two of his mistresses kids.

As for that yeye girl dat called me cheesy her case na yaba left own. I told my man about the call and it was funny to him. I dint call her back or pick her calls again. But the next time we saw, I just ignored her. She is an half caste obviously finer. Told my boyfriend then now husband to choose and he choose me cheesy lucky him tongue



edwife.. can u be specific
What will he come out to meet IF such happened..IT WILL NOT
edwife:

And what makes you think he is coming to a peaceful home cheesy,i repeat i have no business with what the woman thinks,but what my man thinks.....
And trust me,he will be too scared to come back home.... wink
Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 1:52pm On Oct 30, 2014
Kimoni:

As the husband tell her so tey she no hear nko?
Stalkers? I am assuming the Naija scenario here. Tell me which man will go to a Naija police station and report that one babe has been disturbing him for a date despite his constant refusals? Even if the man will try to report such, tell me which policeman will leave all the unresolved murder and theft cases before him and would deem it okay to help a full grown man wade off female stalkers. Not sure we have reached that stage yet o.

Yes Nigeria, that we disregard the law doesnt mean it doesnt exist.

My cousin had a stalker, calling like 50 times, dropping messages at his office, calling his wife and publiclly embarassing him by accusing him of impregnanting her. Someone he had seen only once or twice never even hugged.

He reported her, she was called and asked to write a statement, also write an affidavit never to bother him again or face arrest and proesecution.

Everyone man or woman has a right to their safety and sanity.

9 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 1:52pm On Oct 30, 2014
Op,

Shebi d mistress dey rap.e the man constantly. So if na 10 mistresses the husband get, she go go fight all 10 of them?

If her home or matrimonial bed has been violated by an intruder she may have a case. Other than that she should face her man. Even lioness wey be animal no go waka go another territory to fight for her lion unless them enter her space.

6 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by edwife(f): 1:54pm On Oct 30, 2014
pickabeau1:


edwife.. can u be specific
What will he come out to meet IF such happened..IT WILL NOT



Lol,pickabeau that's will not be a good day for him,not physically though i am not a violent person...... wink

But he will surely remember that day wink,you know what they say about quiet people....

I won't even talk about it at first,maybe for a week or so....

Mind game is wicked... cheesy
Re: Confronting The Mistress by ferhyntorlah(f): 1:55pm On Oct 30, 2014
@Aisha2, I love reading your posts

@sheunfemix, I love the part you said "lucky him" for choosing you. You have a high dose of self esteem n confidence. Were it to be another lady, she would consider herself lucky. I like ladies like you; you no SEND anybody!

@Everbody, una well done oh!

1 Like

Re: Confronting The Mistress by coogar: 1:56pm On Oct 30, 2014
Kimoni:

What if the mistress is the one doing the chasing? And has been rebuffed by the man several times but she won't stop? Or perhaps, the girl doesn't even know he is married like cococandy's example in one of the threads?

most women can't stand rejection....
if the man's discourtesy is solid enough, the promiscuous mistress would back off in no time. if a mistress keeps coming back, it's because the man himself is giving mixed signals.......


Shouldn't the woman face the mistress in this kinda situations?

under no circumstance should a woman confront a mistress unless the mistress encroaches the woman's territory(matrimonial home).

3 Likes

Re: Confronting The Mistress by Nobody: 1:58pm On Oct 30, 2014
Kimoni:


What if the mistress is the one doing the chasing? And has been rebuffed by the man several times but she won't stop? Or perhaps, the girl doesn't even know he is married like cococandy's example in one of the threads?

Shouldn't the woman face the mistress in this kinda situations?

If the mistress is doing the chasing, can't the man tell his wife? most men feel they can handle it and do not bother telling their wives.both the husband and his wife can report to the police.

If the mistress neveer knew a man was married, doesnt that tell you the man is majorly at fault here? Why hide his marital status? so that he can keep deceiving many other girls? Can you see why the man is at fault and shoulld be dealt with?

3 Likes

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