₦airaland Forum

abelbriggs:
Include me in ur books cos am with u guys

abelbriggs:
I just downloaded it a 188 pages.

sarihu:
This guy needs to understand the purpose of life. The guy is really spreading the idea of Lucifer, he should understand God supports marriage but Lucifer against it. Wish u quick recovery

kenex4ever:
OP if u make some dudes here decide not to marry again and u later go marry, the kind THUNDER when go fire u eeeh...na heaven sent.

smartoliver:
so u're nt getting married@op?

killjoy:
readers discretion adviced: this is a long post. get a bowl of popcorn and your glasses. turn off the TV , you don't want to get distracted. if it took me time to write such a lengthy post, I wonder why you should complain about reading it. below are the reasons.

1. We're too different to live together: women love people and relationships, men love objects (like cars, houses, gadgets, game consoles etc), a man's lot is his career, a woman's is marriage (according to the curse after the fall of man), women are indirect, men are always direct, men want sex before they develop feelings for women, women can't have sex without emotional attachment first(unless they r who.res, even if they are who.res lolzzz), a man wants to hv sex, a woman wants to make love (I swear she doesn't even mind just cuddling), men see having dinner as a time to quench hunger, women see having dinner as time for bonding, let me continue? A married man without money feels unfulfilled, a wealthy woman without a man feels similarly, I can go on and on! But no time, my point, you need a lot of patience, tolerance, understanding, endurance, compromise etc to survive in marriage. But life is too short, stay single and be free to be urself or get married and spend the rest of your life struggling to be another person. Continue reading, this is just one of seven.

2. Love doesn't exist: if you intend to stake your future with a woman on an emotion as erratic as love, then you need to have ur head examined. Love is an emotional convulsion which, like other sicknesses, are recovered from with time. Experience has thought me that a woman's love is only skin deep, but you can accentuate it with money. Ohhhh how women react to the smell of cash. Bleep love and go make some muller.

3. You don't need a child: the world will remember you by the kids you left behind. That's a big fat lie!! You don't need a carbon copy of yourself roaming the earth after your demise to ensure your immortality. Instead, the world will remember you by the feats you surmounted! Obama will be remembered not as the father of, I don't even know his child's name and I don't give a fvck bout it! But as the first black US President. Mother Theresa never had a child, Einstein's legacy is not his kids but his discoveries. My point! You are not remembered by the kids you had but the records you set. But if you badly want a kid, adopt one, or get a baby mama and impregnate her but never, never get married just to have kids. marriage is too great a price to pay.

4. There is absolutely nothing new marriage has to offer you: just be honest with yourself. A family? You already belong to one (or do you think you just appeared out of thin air?), love? Your mother loves you like die, trust moi. A woman to manage your home? Get a maid! pay her well and she will manage your home without complications like disrespecting you, PMS, etc. Sex? Gone are the days men marry for sex ooo!!! Sex is damn cheap, you don't need marriage to enjoy it. By the way, what makes you think getting married entitles you to sex when you want it, ie, if at all?? U never jam female Hitler. Continue reading, I'm not even close to the end.

5. Marriage is expensive: a woman's problems end when she gets married (at least on financial level), while a man's problems just begin. Most ladies don't have plans of making money(some stop after getting married). for a woman, after graduating from uni, a husband is top on d list above a job ie, if a job is on the list. Guys, stay alone and worry for one. Apart from financially, marriage drains you emotionally. You have to deal with a partner suffering from PMS five days in a month for life (by the time she reaches menopause, you'd be probably dead) and when she ain't suffering PMS, its worse cos she is pregnant!! Don't forget regular mood swings, test games, among other complicated female emotional ailments. Plus wait till you get divorced before you know how much financially and emotionally expensive marriage could be. That brings us to...

6. It may end up in divorce: possible causes of divorce. She gains weight, sex with one person for years gone stale and boring, the love (or whatever dumb ass name you call it) fades, you want a new woman, (men are polygamous by nature, hard truth. Deal with it), she is no longer the woman you married, (true, women do change after marriage for many reasons, that is story for another day), you cheat on her, she cheats on you, many many more. Don't scar yourself with a painful divorce. Stay single and happy.

7. You get to focus on your dreams without distractions. Like I said earlier, a man's career is his lot (or curse). As s man if you haven't got a successful career, you will probably die unhappy and unproductive. The compromise you have to make to keep her happy will retard you from achieving your dreams to the fullest. Pleasing a woman and pursuing your dreams are mutually exclusive. don't get married.

disclaimer: its ironic when people say honesty is a virtue yet can't bear to hear (or read) the truth.

nota bene: I am not prejudiced towards women. I hate all equally.

killjoy:
OK sir

killjoy:
OK sir

rosette08:
;u re on point,nice 1

kccarew:
As in quick one oo, that's why on my own point, I told him to take a love chill pill and wake up. He is lost.mumu

karpentar:
You're wrong saying single men hv as much fun as married men. It's a fallacy! Single men have much more fun! Period!

traware:
Hmm...you sound exactly like me.Women must have shown you hell like they've also shown me.From my personal experience,marriage,women and children are a total waste of time and energy.Married men are slaves to their wives and children.My advice to young men out there is to never ever get married instead,use that energy to build a business or concentrate on better endeavours.Louis Vuitton,Harley Davidson,Steve Jobs even Lipton,these are all men who are dead and gone but their legacies live on.Do you think I'm lying?Pray tell,what is the name of Chinua Achebes' wife/wives?How many child/children does he have?There is no such thing as 'happily married',its an oxymoron.its like saying a person is 'happily dead'.Read the book "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar and learn more

Trizyd:
Am not saying i'm not gona get married, but looking at the situation around me about marriage is not encouragn at all, hv seen da good, the bad and the ugly, my elder sister, always cryn whn complaing to my mum abt her husband, nd when they were courting, you can vow for dem that dey can never argue talkless of fightn and both claimed they love each other. M young, i want a family, but marriage is like a risk, and belive me, i can take risk, but not with marriage. JESUS I PRAY "HAPPY EVER AFTER " DO EXIST.

rutibaby:
OP, ARE U ONE OF THE BASTARDS?
WHY DISTURB OTHERS WIT UR FAMILY PROBLEM.

killjoy:
dats d idea. men nid to knw d truth before crossing the Rubicon. I hv decided to tell them the truth, damning whose ox is gored. simple

abelbriggs:
Adam never asked GOD 4 a companion.

ILIDEFI:
Obviously, you and killjoy are not practising Christians. My reason, is this: why will you both completely denounce something God instituted by himself and said it was a good thing? Nothing good in life comes easy, likewise marriage. It takes hard work to make marriage successful, and it's very possible. Many of the men we celebrate today as achievers will tell you that their wives are the bedrocks of their success.
Again, every man needs sex. It's wired in our nature. How do you justly hope to enjoy sex outside marriage? It is immoral to have sex outside marriage. If you refuse to get married, but can hold yourself, then there is no problem with it. But the problem is that you have no such plans.
Remember we will all stand before God's judgement throne and give account of our lives.

Horayce:
Hey Killjoy I really enjoyed reading your post which really wasn't long. Also perceived a whiff of satire, but I may be assuming too much. I held those same ideas in college. Existential questions. The futility of it all--marriage, blah blah blah. After a few years I've revised my views a bit. I'm still not a fan of marriage, all my siblings around me are happily married with kids and its an open secret that i may yet never get married. I'm ferociously ambitious and fall into the categogory of men who value their career much higher than some flimsy societal expectation such as marriage/ having kids. But i hate low brow sex( which you describe as easy to get) and I value companionship/relationships much more. After a hard days work in which you've been brusided by stuffy corporate pri.cks you just want to slide into the warm knowing embrace of your woman or man( if u r female/g.ay), and not some easy lay. Yes. Mother Theresa didnt have kids and nobody remembers who the greats were marrried to. But their partners all had their roles in bringing the best out of them. Sometimes it could be stability sometimes it could be influence. Read their biographies. Einstein had women in his life right through to his grave( Married his cousin Elsa,lol). In Zlatan Ibramovic's autobiography he raved about how settling down and having kids had a calming influence and propelled him in his career. Your views were generally spot on but marred by sample bias. I could cite two of my favorite poets( Larkin and Auden) who remained single but the vast majority of great poets were married. My point is that the overwhelming majority of successful people are married( maybe not happily married, but most of them were) So it'd be a stretch to say having a good marriage and a successsful career are mutually exclusive. Personally i'd just want to have a partner and cohabit "happily" without the burden of marriage. But if that can't give, there's always a compromise to be made.

feelme3:
Mtcheeeeew! Some warped opinion.

My parents had a blissful marriage until death came (50 something years together). I grew up in a wonderful home. And above all, the essence of the creation of man and woman was for marriage.

So, I guess the immature minds, who are easily swayed in life will, maybe....just be swayed by this. Oh BTW, I just got married to a woman I dated for 9years

Good-luck to your followers.

Trizyd:
Am not saying i'm not gona get married, but looking at the situation around me about marriage is not encouragn at all, hv seen da good, the bad and the ugly, my elder sister, always cryn whn complaing to my mum abt her husband, nd when they were courting, you can vow for dem that dey can never argue talkless of fightn and both claimed they love each other. M young, i want a family, but marriage is like a risk, and belive me, i can take risk, but not with marriage. JESUS I PRAY "HAPPY EVER AFTER " DO EXIST.

ferdiii:
Sb said he won't marry and this is how u can convince him. You are d reason for his decision.

killjoy:
as a matter of fact, d good tins marriage has to offer to a man r tins he can enjoy while still single. wot I withheld r more downsides to marriage. my parents r separated n seem happier that way. my friends Dada died of heart attack caused by his wife, look marriage shud be a no go area for a man who intends to live eida happy or long or both.

ayusco85:
am preparing a counter thread right about now. ''10 Reasons to get married''

linearity:
I am not totally taking sides on this, but the OP made some very valid points....A man is never the same again, when he gets married. That is why it is important that, you have a direction in life, know your destination, get a job before you get marry.

And, there is nothing like 'love' or the 'one'....Love is in the eyes of the beholder and it means different things to different people....To Bisi love is a 6 feet tall man, with good manners, smiles, goes to church, from a good family, etc....but to Mary, love could mean any guy that can pay her bills....yet to Nkechi, love could be a man from her tribe, who is educated, etc...You cannot say Bisi's definition of love is more better and tangible than Mary's...both of them are happy...Bisi got her God fearing man and Mary got a guy that pays her bills and they both got love and they are happy...You might say..but Mary's is focus on temporary earthly things..what if the guy stop paying her bills, or got poor...well there is no guarantee that Bisi's object of love will not backslide, stop going to church, etc....

The truth is the Genesis 6:6 states and I quote "And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart"

You can slide and dice it all you want, but the plain truth of that scripture indicated without ambiguity that God regretted creating man and it grieved him for doing so.

Adam was just fine in the Garden before Eve came into the picture, he never questioned God's commands, instructions....we all know what happened when evi came into the picture.

Guys should stop deceiving themselves that the Ladies are looking for 'love' even the so called born again christian sisters...they all have a bucket load of qualities they are looking for in a guy...once they match about 80%-90% of those things to a guy, then they will fall in "love"...if there is such a thing as unconditional love, why are the spirit filled, good manner brothers, who are truckpushers, carpenters, bricklayers, etc in church not getting married? Are they not also children of God?...If that same brother wins America visa lottery, I beat you Sis. Fumi or Tayo will see a vision and fall in "love" or she will start nursing regrets why she did not fall in "love" before now.

Again, I do not subscribe to some of the views of the OP, but the truth is sometime bitter...I love kids, I want to have kids with my wife...I understand that marriage is not a bed of roses, it is a continual daily work, I also understand that a good marriage is not auto-pilot and as a single man, you have lesser things to worry about, you have more time for focus on your passion, career, business, etc.

rutibaby:
OP, ARE U ONE OF THE BASTARDS?
WHY DISTURB OTHERS WIT UR FAMILY PROBLEM.

ferdiii:
They don't want to do that kind of hard work. There are other things God instituted that you don't do. Are you a virgin or were you one before your marriage?