₦airaland Forum

MsPat:
Nwanem dont quote me wrong, i never said she shudnt give him any.....but dat kind of punishment is extreme na. A nu ma like umuwoke like him!

kernel504:
I lost my virginity @ 27, even while l was a virgin, l was sure l love Bleep. Even the woman l want to marry now, told me she's a virgin, since l've not had Bleep with her l wouldnt know, but l believe her.
Look, l was quick to tell her this, '' l love xx much, so if you are not that type back-off, cos am not ready to play games.

ojeffo:
ITS EITHER THE STORY IS FAKE OR THE OP IS A LESBIAN....QED

Chrisx1x:
I dnt believe this story is true.

blesie:
So i narrated how little i can of my ordeal since i got married to this man here last week - https://www.nairaland.com/2030889/he-punishing-me-honey-moon

While i got alot of advises from our dear Nairalanders, i had resolve before not to tell the pastor or my parent but to talk to him as many advised, i couldn't look him in the eye actually, i tried to do that many times since that Friday but I couldnt, so i said ok, after sunday service i will build up courage to confront him and voice out my opinion to him.

So on sunday, it was going to be our first sunday after wedding, i had arrange our wears, his and my own, i woke up early to make breakfast for him and prepare him for church, before he woke up i was already in the kitchen so i ask him to take his bath and lets go early.

He took breakfast (i don't take breakfast so i didnt eat), we were all fully dressed and ready to set out, i packed our bible and writing note into the car and the gift we wanted to give our pastor too inside the car.

it was almost time and i said, so shall we, he said not yet and i said what is remaining, he said you're remaining, you havent given me nothing this morning, i said but you just took breakfast, he said nope, i haven't had you. This is like 10minutes for church to start oo.

He came closer and i said please dont let us waste time lets go. He changed. Don't let us do what? did you just say waste time? he dragged me down the couch and started what i will call rape again, at the process he had rough handled everything i wore, roughen my hair, i started crying, he walk down the wardrobe pick up something and ask me to wear it, i told him i'm not going to church again, he started begging that i can't do that but i keep refusing.

He shouted i should let us go, and i refused. He came back and raped me again till i agree i will go. So i dressed up and just ran into my own car, took off.

He thought i was going to church, he also entered the car and make his way to church. When he got to church he called me. I didn't answer the phone. i came home and was lying on the bed thinking of what next to do. i was actually thinking of running away without a word so he can come look for me forever.

So he got to church and the pastor and wife ask him about me, he said i must be inside. The pastor sensed something. did you say she must be inside? Did you two not come together bla bla bla. After serious enquiries he opened up that we had an issue in the morning.

I was lying down and i heard the door bell, i thought he was the one, i did not open it. The bell rang a thousand times i ignored it. The pastor wife called but i didn't answer, so because my car was parked inside they knew i was around. Finally i opened and here my pastor and wife have left the congregation standing there with him.

So they came in and ask me what happened, i told them i wanted a divorce, that my husband was killing me. They ask me what happened, if he was beating me or denying me of sex of not providing etc. I told them he raped me everything over everything and that my greatest surprise was to know he is doing all of these because i couldn't let him have sex with me while we were dating.

They then turned to him and ask him what happened. I never knew some people can talk so well that will make a bad case look good. Anyway he's a barrister.

He said: "Pastor i don't know why this happen but i knew i never ask God to give me a virgin as a wife. My brother married a virgin and till today he cannot enjoy sex so he has resulted to having sex outside wedlock but i have promised myself that i wont do that. Whether she likes it or not, she must satisfy me.

Ever since i met her over 3 years ago, i loved her, even though she told me no sex, i thought she was just been careful so i left her. For 3 years i never touched any woman. Here i was thinking she was practising romance, or sex style she will give me on wedding night because she did not have any virgin trait on her. She was exposed (works in the media), talks fearlessly, gives me headache so i thought oh she is a tough girl.

But on our wedding night, my wife here comes into the room. Before i could finish a call, she rushes to take her bath, cover herself up like she is going for a Mecca trip. She comes here lying with her back facing me. I thought to myself, but this is the same lady that smiles and laughs throughout na. What would have happened? i said ok pls come and bath me. She refused. i had to beg. Then she came standing 50 metres away, throwing water on my body, i got so angry i wanted to beat her up but i calmed down and before i could say jack, she got angry that she is not bathing me anymore. I met her again in the room and she said she tired and want to sleep, i tried to beg her she refused I then say to myself, so after begging her for 3 years to date me, kneel down to propose, beg her parent, beg the church i have to beg again for sex in this house. Not in my life! So i had my way, and i made sure i wasn't hurting her because i realised the first time she was a virgin.

Just to please her that she was a virgin which wasnt much of a big deal to me, i entered a car shop, got her a car, i told her this is for you, she said thanks like i bought her a biscuit and the next morning she left to her office in her own car.

She returned and i wanted to kiss her and she said i was disturbing her that she is tired. I was so angry. Whenever i I'm angry, i just have sex with her to calm myself down so i dont go drinking or even beat her. The only day i can admit to raping her was when she returned from work and i had sex with her. She stayed on the couch crying. I took wine in two glasses, gave her one but she pushed the wine glass away from me.

He continued. "I then said jokingly, 'you see its your time to cry now, im giving you those hot sex so you remember the times you used to punish me, insult me and make me go through hardtime but you've got to change now because I'm your husband, if not you will be crying like this.

Then my wife stood up and said to me, 'God will judge you for your wickedness!'

What!!! So i am wicked for having have sex with my wife? The same woman i paid a huge ransom to her calabar relations to marry her? I got so angry so i raped the hell out of her that day. She almost fainted, though i felt bad afterwards.

So this morning, we were set for church. I wanted to kiss her and just touch her a little because she was looking beautiful. She started that stubbornness again. She pushed me away like trash so i showed her I'm more powerful by having sex with her and she said she wasn't going to church anymore.

I brought something else for her to wear she refused and i remember she does anything i want her to do while having sex with her so i gave her another round and she ran out to the car. I thought she has left for church but no. So, this is what i have been passing through."

My pastor wife was first to comment. She said "What!!! Did you do all that i heard?"

I said, "No ma, he is not saying it the way it is. He raped me."

So they started asking the questions one after the other. ''Did you bath only you on your wedding night?''

My husband jumps in. "Ask her if she ever bath with me together since we were married!"

At that point, i felt like asking him to stop talking. My pastor said, "how old are you again? In case i have forgotten". i said "26, sir".

He said "Why na.. why, did you not read? But you are learned na. Why did you have to do all of these?"

The pastor turns to the wife and said, "mummy, did you not put her through counselling?"

They all started blaming me and apologizing to my husband. My pastor's wife had a one on one with me. They asked me to kneel to beg him.

They ask me to dress up lets go to church, it was suppose to be our thanksgiving sunday. I told them, "i wont be able to go as my eyes was already red". In my mind I'd rather sit and start thinking of how i can satisfy this man.

As advised, i bath with him last night, as expected he had sex with me in the bathroom, i felt like fainting but i kept quiet this time. I bear it like its a price i have to pay.

We had sex 3 times before the night was over. Now he is happy.

HONESTLY IF I KNEW THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE. THEY DID NOT PURSUE ME OUT

pweetixandy:
Hmmm..u and ur "husband" are not just compatible sexually. Ur not even romantic sef. What happend that morning would not have happend if u had just kissed him passionately and told him to wait until after service and u'll make him forget his name.instead u were doing like wood. Better divorce his silly behind and move on to the next phase of ur life cos as it is,100yrs of therapy will not help. U are not sensual and he is not patient. Hez a beast who shld be left alone,since u dnt know how to tame this beast. And u two dnt even have kids yet and u have a non existent sex life..incredible!

ireneidiva:
You will advise your sister to remain in this kind of marriage Because men have finished or what He even admitted to raping her for godsake. I think something is wrong with you rather.

AKMoney1:
Why is everyone blaming the husband? Did you guys read the first part of the story where she clearly stated that she used him to have a good lunch, dinner or whenever she just feel like going to the cinema, that the guy never disappointed her? For good 3 years she played and milked him like wtf? How many guys can stand that? To the ladies if ur brother is in such courtship what will be your reaction?

Still yet the guy didn't give up and went ahead to marry her but only for the girl to start misbehaving on the very night of their wedding. Why won't you wanna bath with/for ur hubby? She even tried to resist the sex on their wedding night, come on we all have blood in our veins na and this guy has spent a fortune up till that moment. And even after the sex he realized she was a virgin and might be hurt, he bought her a car to compensate her. But ordinary kiss she can't give her hubby as a thank you.

Even though abusing her sexually is not the best option but what if he was beating her?

None of you guys here is saint enough to call him a beast except you pray to be treated the way she treated him while courting or you want your brother to be treated thus.

As for the lady in question, my advice for you is to beg him and change to a loving wife he wants you to be. Not always about sex, show him love and affections and if it's sex give him he's your husband.

treasuress:
what did he do dont you see she is a virgin?? someone dat has not had sex for 26years to her sex is bad and against her will its rape, honey moon dressing like deeper life to bed the guy was patient and used brain to say she should bathe him, what did the guy do

andromida:
This gal is not playing games, anything could be going on with her how can raping her be the solution?

IVORY2009:
What will the policee' do? Likewise women's right, if I may wanna ask, dis is domestic issue, and the said man, frm wat I can read, is legally married to the lady, and a lawyer for that matter, in other words, they should settle the issue within the family.

bushdoc9919:
I found this story shocking....I had to walk away, think a bit, and then read it again.

As a man I find my fellow man's behavior in this story disgusting.

The problem is marital rape , indeed rape of any kind in this country is not taken seriously. We just keep quiet about rape, while calling the victim names behind his/her back at the time where she or he would need healing.

I also find the behavior of the pastor reprehensible.....and I speak as a born again christian of over 20 years. At the very worst, he should have counseled the man against sexual lust. Seems like the pastor regards marriage as a lust fufillment zone, not as a place of building mutual love and affection.

Ultimately, the issue is that we do not know how to talk about sex in this country. We hide behind conservative attitudes (attitudes which I fully support BTW)...and in the process throw out the baby with the bathwater.

And as a result....we youngsters learn about sex, love and relationships from the wrong source. We never learn that sex should be in the context of serving others....instead we see it as a means of self fufilment and self enjoyment. Am sure that was the guy's view of sex.....it is for my own enjoyment....not for mutual enjoyment.

Maybe I sound soft and sentimental here...but when I get married (I am single and searching)....sex is going to be a two way thing for me. Because if it isn't.....then it means I love myself more than my wife.



There....I guess our problem in this country is that we love ourselves too much.

onihaxy:
Some comments here are just so funny.
So many imbeciles advising her to divorce a wedding not up to a week?. Some lunatics are even advising her to kill the husband?. SMH.
Why not teach her how to please her husband sexually?. This young man had endured a "no sex" relationship which I knew 99.9% of guys cannot accept, this same guy paid for bride price and ceremony? And you all expect the same guy to be begging his legally married wife for sex?.
Is she not supposed to do her homework properly throughout the 3 years?. Why must she be covering herself?, sleeping with her back facing her husband? And even refusing to bath with her husband whom she is legally married to?.
Common. That young man deserves a good sex for all his years of patience and endurance. Seriously, some people's brain needed electrocution. SMH

kernel504:
l didn't say she playing game. Look, you as a lady can't give-in 3 years of faithfulness, new car within a week of wedding and the guy is telling ''baby am not in the mode''.
Nne were kwa adivice m... Phyno

emiye:
at the boldened. If she is based in Naija and she does that, naija police might end up arresting her and charge her to court for "refusal to comply with her lawful wedded husband: a constituted authority"

AKMoney1:
Why is everyone blaming the husband? Did you guys read the first part of the story where she clearly stated that she used him to have a good lunch, dinner or whenever she just feel like going to the cinema, that the guy never disappointed her? For good 3 years she played and milked him like wtf? How many guys can stand that? To the ladies if ur brother is in such courtship what will be your reaction?

AKMoney1:
Why is everyone blaming the husband? Did you guys read the first part of the story where she clearly stated that she used him to have a good lunch, dinner or whenever she just feel like going to the cinema, that the guy never disappointed her? For good 3 years she played and milked him like wtf? How many guys can stand that? To the ladies if ur brother is in such courtship what will be your reaction?

Still yet the guy didn't give up and went ahead to marry her but only for the girl to start misbehaving on the very night of their wedding. Why won't you wanna bath with/for ur hubby? She even tried to resist the sex on their wedding night, come on we all have blood in our veins na and this guy has spent a fortune up till that moment. And even after the sex he realized she was a virgin and might be hurt, he bought her a car to compensate her. But ordinary kiss she can't give her hubby as a thank you.

Even though abusing her sexually is not the best option but what if he was beating her?

None of you guys here is saint enough to call him a beast except you pray to be treated the way she treated him while courting or you want your brother to be treated thus.

As for the lady in question, my advice for you is to beg him and change to a loving wife he wants you to be. Not always about sex, show him love and affections and if it's sex give him he's your husband.


Hi Mr stvpid, I don't usually login when I come here buh I had to jst to tell u dat u are a sick stvpid demented b*stard and by GOD's grace all ur sisters will go tru same faith as that lady. N.B I took lil time to go tru ur profile nd I'm not surprised u look like a criminal jst like the guy in question. Fvcking cock sucking DOG!

pweetixandy:
my brother,marriage is not a by force sometin..if she can't dance kerewa for him,let her leave him. lemme even ask,have u ever given in to his sexual advances without him begging. This woman didn't do her homework well before getting married.

treasuress:
i hate when a girl backs me on bed to death, i will quietly take my pillow and go sleep on the sofa chatting with anoda chick or i will sleep on the ground e dey irritate me to d last

andromida:
I will try to understand whatever is going on with him give him time before i rape him

jomoh:
Yes. I will even force her to remain in the marriage. Cos she had the gut to eat up his money for 3 good years without giving anything in return. Let her pay back what she ate for three years and after that I can now come in.