LETS MAKE THIS THREAD A DISCUSSION TO HELP THE NICE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO CANT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY KEEP GETTING TREATED BADLY AND NOT APPRECIATED IN RETURN''

SHARE YOUR ENCOUNTER WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU THINK WAS BEING TOO NICE, WHAT PUTS YOU OFF AND HOW YOU EXPECT HE/SHE COULD HAVE ACTED[i][/i]

ABOUT THEM AND WHAT THEY THINK:

Nice people are concerned about looking good and doing it "right."

They are happiest when they are making others happy.

Nice people avoid conflict like the plague and will go to great lengths to avoid upsetting anyone.

Nice people are peaceful and generous.

Nice people are especially concerned about pleasing men/women and being different from other men/women.

Nice people believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, they will in return be happy, loved, and fulfilled.

If a person has a problem, has a need, is angry, depressed or sad, you will frequently attempt to solve or fix the situation (usually without being asked).

Nice people often make their partner their emotional center. Many Nice people report that they are
only happy if their partner is happy.

DOWNSIDE and EFFECT

This attempt to be good typically involves trying to eliminate or hide certain things about themselves (their mistakes, needs, emotions) and become what they believe others want them to be (generous, helpful, peaceful, etc.) and this leads to WHY THEY GET HURT

They start to hide or distract attention from any perceived shortcoming.(Including true lies and being secretive)

Failing to live up their full potential.

Disassociating themselves from people of same sex.

Creating situations in which they do not have very much good sex.(can't get or maintain an erection, climaxes too quickly, not expressive)

Becoming too good to be true to people which will put many people off.

Loosing their challenging power and esteem.

Becoming a wimp and always think they are a victim.

Addictions to drugs or alcohol. secret sexual addictions to pornography, masturbation, fantasy, chat lines, or hookers.

Many Nice people have a hard time saying "no," "stop," or "I'm going to."

You seek approval from others. Everything you do or say is at some level calculated to gain someone's approval or avoid disapproval. Especially true in your relationships.

SOLUTION

Because Nice people tend to be very black and white in their thinking, the only alternative they can see to being nice is becoming "bastards" or "jerks which is wrong. It is more dangerous to change who you are and there is a way to be not too much of a nice person which is ' BEING INTEGRATED. Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one's self. An integrated person is able to embrace everything that makes him/her unique: power, assertiveness, courage, passion as well as his imperfections, mistakes, and dark side.

Start working to posses the following attributes:

● Strong sense of self. Like yourself for who you are.
● Do what is right, not what is expedient.
● Be clear, direct, and expressive of feelings.
● Be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving.
● Know how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.
● Learn to say no and dont be too available or wanting............

Being nice has a 77% possibility of landing you in the Friend-zone

iceberylin:
Being nice has a 77% possibility of landing you in the Friend-zone

Exactly why nice people are full of rage, thinking they should be getting as much as they give

.

Being nice has limit

When yu are too nice to a guy,they tend to take yu for granted.iceberylin

@Op i think u just described evrything about me damn sometimes i hate myslf for being nice more advice bro @

wat when u ar to nice to girl?

You get time op

misshoree:
Being nice has limit

When yu are too nice to a guy,they tend to take yu for granted.iceberylin

Girls arent even nice

busterr:
.

.

iceberylin:

Girls arent even nice

we are,infact if there is anyother statement to qualify being nice,it would have been appropriate

misshoree:
we are,infact if there is anyother statement to qualify being nice,it would have been appropriate

Lol..i actually mean before you starr dating

Deejay1000:
@Op i think u just described evrything about me damn sometimes i hate myslf for being nice more advice bro @

,

"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always had." Keep this at the back of your mind when any situation comes up, then do otherwise of your usual self. It could be challenging at first and upfront but afterwards you will feel something good and proud of yourself.. Stop thinking "People will get angry at me." "People will think I'm selfish." "I'll be alone.""What if everyone lived this way?"


Dont put a woman on a pedestal and attempt to win their approval, sooner or later, this adoration will turn to rage when these objects of worship fail to live up to your expectations. Then the harder you try, the more complicated it gets.

Learn to say NO, this is very important, even to your male friends. Your change will make them talk about you and dislike the new you for some time. But stick to a policy of being selfish. Dont give more than you take. Including phone calls, replying to messages etc. Intentionally put your phone on silent mode sometimes so you take some time to reply to messages..this will make you seem busy and not too available.

ayocool:
,

"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always had." Keep this at the back of your mind when any situation comes up, then do otherwise of your usual self. It could be challenging at first and upfront but afterwards you will feel something good and proud of yourself.. Stop thinking "People will get angry at me." "People will think I'm selfish." "I'll be alone.""What if everyone lived this way?"


Dont put a woman on a pedestal and attempt to win their approval, sooner or later, this adoration will turn to rage when these objects of worship fail to live up to your expectations. Then the harder you try, the more complicated it gets.

Learn to say NO, this is very important, even to your male friends. Your change will make them talk about you and dislike the new you for some time. But stick to a policy of being selfish. Dont give more than you take. Including phone calls, replying to messages etc. Intentionally put your phone on silent mode sometimes so you take some time to reply to messages..this will make you seem busy and not too available.

thanx alot bro

iceberylin:

Lol..i actually mean before you starr dating

eh,we are still nice

Wow! It hurts to be nice seriously. But sometimes I want to stop, but its part of who I am. Now is it not possible to meet someone who will appreciate my nice nature?

misshoree:
eh,we are still nice

When i guy walks up to you n askes for ya number..
An ugly looking n broke nigga...
Wah will be ya reaction

iceberylin:


When i guy walks up to you n askes for ya number..
An ugly looking n broke nigga...
Wah will be ya reaction

his composure is what matters most

iceberylin:

Girls arent even nice

lol

misshoree:
his composure is what matters most

But what will be ur reaction

misshoree:
Being nice has limit

When yu are too nice to a guy,they tend to take yu for granted.iceberylin

Is there anything like nice girls? I thought only guys were nice

iceberylin:
Being nice has a 77% possibility of landing you in the Friend-zone

my been nice and also been funny landed me to abject friendzone
I had to close all ma chat app becos of it

haibe:
But what will be ur reaction

nfn na

Exjoker:
Is there anything like nice girls? I thought only guys were nice

there are nyce guys too

chimerase2:
my been nice and also been funny landed me to abject friendzone
I had to close all ma chat app becos of it

Ehhhyahhhh...hoe much you gon pay for TOTOrial

misshoree:
his composure is what matters most

Iffa hear

iceberylin:


Ehhhyahhhh...hoe much you gon pay for TOTOrial

lol u dn kworrpt
Have u forgotton amu de master?

Just don't be too muushy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVmCwmC5-kQ

Watch and laugh: Beach Scene from Bedazzled.

Bring nice to people should not be an issue of contention here. In fact it should be a life style each and every one of us should imbibe without a second thought .
Look at it this way. What does being nasty, arrogant and uncaring add to you. Wiping the sunshine off someone's face through our actions, words and reactions adds no medal to your laurels.

Here is where we get the being nice thing wrong. We become nice expecting the other person reciprocating it. First, we are not wired, brought up the same way. We have different view about life and what it is all about, so don't blame them. If you base your behavior on other's reactions and you become what you are not, where does it leave you? A fake? A toy that could easily be manipulated? If I were you, I wont allow my being-happiness to be determined by someone else.

If a guy or a girl appreciate it fine, if they don't fine. If we can all be nice to the people around us the way some of us are to our pets, imagine how the whole world will be.
To those who are at it. Please don't give up at it. A river that keeps giving will never go stink. You can never tell if someone had gone around the world looking for that precious gem you have.

Shalom!

#team nice real guys …!
don't fake it, when you live it...you won't need all this sermon cause its a part of you, hard to peel off irrespective of who or who doesn't appreciate it.

beylinko:
Bring nice to people should not be an issue of contention here. In fact it should be a life style each and every one of us should imbibe without a second thought .
Look at it this way. What does being nasty, arrogant and uncaring add to you. Wiping the sunshine off someone's face through our actions, words and reactions adds no medal to your laurels.

Here is where we get the being nice thing wrong. We become nice expecting the other person reciprocating it. First, we are not wired, brought up the same way. We have different view about life and what it is all about, so don't blame them. If you base your behavior on other's reactions and you become what you are not, where does it leave you? A fake? A toy that could easily be manipulated? If I were you, I wont allow my being-happiness to be determined by someone else.

If a guy or a girl appreciate it fine, if they don't fine. If we can all be nice to the people around us the way some of us are to our pets, imagine how the whole world will be.
To those who are at it. Please don't give up at it. A river that keeps giving will never go stink. You can never tell if someone had gone around the world looking for that precious gem you have.

Shalom!

now this is what I'm talking about!!

misshoree:
there are nyce guys too

lol,u corrected yourself by yourself..