sukkot:
Does it ever get to a point of familiarity and companionship in a wedding ( after a long period ) where you are now like best friends and ' family members ', and then trying to summon up a s-e-xual desire is akin to someone trying to sleep with their brother or sister, especially if you now have children.

Apparently Elvis Presley could never ever bring himself to sleep with his wife Priscilla again after she had his baby. and they never had sex after that.

kilokeys:


guy.. never use a sib to compare.. it isnt d same..
u might just say reduced libido.. it cannot be same as saying sister.. haba

sukkot:
i hear you. i think humans need their personal space to be able to sort their head out. if everyone had their own lil space in a marriage i can guarantee you that the love will increase and divorce will reduce. like i said initially, it is abnormal for two grown adult human beings to share the same bed and room 352 days in a year. its not natural. i dont know who introduced that concept.

sukkot:
true enough, we have waste and are human but still there are some things i like to pretend that women dont do. thats the kinda guy i am lmao. i have a sophisticated mind. i dont like anything crude or graphic. and i have to tell you i have run into many used tampons and pad. scared the living daylights out of me. i havent fully recovered yet

striktlymi:
No matter how close you guys get, you ain't related by blood.

Not the same!

sukkot:
You know the level of familiarity i am talking about ? you have seen her on the toilet many times and smelt her shyttt, and you may have run into her inappropriately disposed bloody sa-nitary towels a few times etc etc. its like a family member now as opposed to a sex-ual desire driven union. its a companion union and no longer se-xually driven.

sukkot:
of course you need more than two separate rooms to make a marriage work. but two separate rooms is a starting point.

MurderX:
Most people commenting here never marry reach 5yrs. What the OP says is quite factual although not entirely.

kilokeys:
how dis crap made fp s still shocking.. ehen..
abeg i get shivers when i see ds dude staring at me on NL..

shey na only me?

delishpot:
Nope. Wife is wife, sister is sister. Besides, what kind of marriage is that when husband and wife start seeing themselves as brother and sister? That marriage must be borring mana! No dirty talks? no flashing? No ass spanking? No nada? Shuo, I guess that marriage was never romantic from the start. So lets not blame time here.
On the other hand, the man may be looking for excuse to start cheating.

Ilekokonit:


True talk and the problem gets compounded when the initial love that birthed the marriage begins to fade away especially if you got married for the wrong reason(s) e.g due to societal pressure or if you didn't marry your soul mate in the first place.

If your wife or husband is not your soul mate, it WILL get to a stage that mutual hatred will replace the original love which was not really rooted in the first place because you rushed things without thrashing out compatibility issues or maybe one party played the other "419" love just to step up and get some benefits from the marriage without the hapless partner realising this.

A lot of men rush to get married to ensure they get "on demand" sex whilst a lot of women rush to get married because of societal pressure or because they got pregnant whilst courting. These reasons are NOT cogent enough to warrant getting married but a lot of people make the same mistakes over and over again as has been happening for donkey years.

I believe that HONEST, OPEN and healthy arguments during courtship will reduce the divorce rate in society because such arguments will bring out the other persons real character, likes and dislikes and each party will then be able to make an informed decision as to whether they want to spend the rest of their lives with a partner whose basic character they now to an extent understand as revealed from their healthy unsupressed arguments. But will today’s deceptive, pretentious character traits in people allow them to show the other party their real character in a healthy argument?? There is just too much deceit, scamming and outright PRE-MEDITATED DECEIT in today’s relationships that even dating is like putting a gun to your head because 9 times out of 10, you will be deceived / scammed by 21st Century partners.

Some people even resort to NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) mind games to try to control their partners ?

Regarding 2 people sleeping on the same bed for 352 days a year, its true that todays people need their space and the advent of smart phones and internet on the go, a lot of nonsensical TV programmes and irrelevant time wasting internet sites have all conspired to make us so individualistic and selfish that we NO LONGER genuinely love ourselves in the true sense of it and on top of this, the stress in making a living in a Global Recession that remains relentless 7 years on means that everyone just wants to be left alone after a hard days slug and sleeping on the same bed with someone who has probably began to irritate you or eat into your chill out time further stresses 21st century marriages.

I believe that the glue / cement that held our parents marriages together is no longer sold in ANY market. Marriage is becoming more of a trap nowadays.

On another tangent, I marvel when I read threads like "will you date a broke man” And I wonder why some people have eyes but cannot see and have ears and cannot hear. Or is it a function of immaturity ? Like I mentioned above, this 7 year Global Recession is unrelenting and at its inception in 2008 it was adjudged to be worse than the Great Depression of the 1930's (in my opinion the current one is not even a recession but a Depression which is a worse situation compounded with negative equity and a credit crunch). If the likes of Woolworths and Lehman Brothers that have been around for more than 100 years can go under because their creditors pulled the plug. If Ireland and a few other countries can humbly accept economic bailouts to survive. If China is now a major lender to America then you will see that the WHOLE world is living in an UNCERTAIN and UNCHARTED FINANCIAL ERA with nobody being able to guarantee their financial future.

Now with millions of men and women losing their jobs globally (2.5 million unemployed in the UK alone), why would some people still use money or the lack of it as a factor in making the most important decision in their lives - the choice of a life partner

That's why I believe that someone can be highly literate but still be a current affairs / financial illiterate. To compound this Achilles heel (which to me is a major character defect) is the fact that Black people especially Africans (Nigerians categorically) worship money hence everything including their relationships are "greedily" scrutinized through the grubby prism of money hence their marriages don't stand the test of time.

But they make the same mistake OVER and OVER again forgetting that money comes and goes and NOBODY can lock money inside a room because "riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven. Proverbs 23:5"

Money is needed in todays world but if one overtly or covertly bases matters of the heart principally on money then that relationship WILL fail as its foundation was faulty to start with. He who has ears, let him hear.

kilokeys:

okay.. it seems u rnt close to ladies.. u r a newbie.. ill give u a law.. cletus law

there is an inch radius between the kpekus and the anus


so guy wake up from ur fairytale. women arent fairies.. they are human like me and u. accept it..
gosh.. wetin i dey follow ds psycho talk sef.
mtcheew problem of overfeeding..

guy no quote me again o.. #unfollows senseless thread

dheolexaone:


U now have a familiar and spiritual related PROBLEM(S)

Get a life and live in the positive world rather than wasting in idealistic world!

asodeboyede:
Some people trying so hard to be wiser than God!
God wired and configured it so! If such as what this op is saying happens, that means such marriage is under spell or attack(except some pastors that restrains sex for SOME period)!
As someone committing incest is under spell or attack!

sukkot:
Does it ever get to a point of familiarity and companionship in a wedding ( after a long period ) where you are now like best friends and ' family members ', and then trying to summon up a s-e-xual desire is akin to someone trying to sleep with their brother or sister, especially if you now have children.

Apparently Elvis Presley could never ever bring himself to sleep with his wife Priscilla again after she had his baby. and they never had sex after that.

1dickatatime:
Elvis Presley has an acute medical condition. Men my closeness to my wife has actually made the thing sweeter I miss home like mad anytime I'm out of town let alone seeing her in flesh and blood.

lataziz:
ur wife/husband is nt ur sista/broda nd nva wil b no mata wat excuse u give

haryomikun:

Y u dey talk like ode like dis naw?

sukkot:
its an allegory. nobody is saying your wife is your sister. am saying your wife is on the level of familiarity that you have for a family member. its at a level where you dont view her as someone you want to have s-e-x with again. you see her as a friend and companion and family. you dont want her for -s-e-x just as you dont want your siblings for s-e-x but you like having them around sometimes.

GoodFaith:

do you kiss your sister/brother tough to tough--
do you sometime have sex with your brother/sister
Please cut the BS
Hell NO
You learn to love the person for what she/he represent
You learn the good and bad
Love might likely be strong because of together and sacrifice you both have had

jozeal09:
Funny as it may sound this is so true.I remember one of my lecturers in Uni then sharing how he sees his spouse of over 20yrs more as his sister than as a wife when it comes to sexual sensations.Such was the level of intimacy. This he explained is why he goes for fresh blood.

GoodFaith:

check your P and D
wife have to make some change-- dress or hair style
smell good wife /husband

coolviv:
When a man loves a woman, he wants to be a part of everything in her life. He massages her stomach when she has cramps during her period, buys her brand of tampons or pads for her without even asking her, buys her drugs if she has an upset stomach, even knocks on the door to ask if she is ok when she stays too long..... Infact @op, when you eventually (if ever) love a woman, you would have cause to laugh at this topic of yours because you will be so ridiculously into her business you would wonder why you ever thought a wife could end up being as undesirable as a sister.