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Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses - Family (23) - Nairaland

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Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Chidonsky: 12:08am On Feb 04, 2015
edwife:
@Mutter i have to say this,you have won my respect over again,for you to have handled the attack with grace shows how mature and a lady you are.
indeed she is really a gem with matured and logical reasoning, not because of her defence but her tolerance and unsentimental approach to the issue.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by raumdeuter: 12:12am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


This man, leave this argument. ... most of the ladies wants kids cos she knows without one, you might kick hernout anyways or with one when you decides to leave, she has a friend.... lol, all I am telling you is that value of a woman cant be overemphasized.

So most women wants kids and yet want to be paid because they have kids they desired

Not only a woman has value, every human has value and to seek to monetize these value shows another motive entirely

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 12:16am On Feb 04, 2015
raumdeuter:


So most women wants kids and yet want to be paid because they have kids they desired

Not only a woman has value, every human has value and to seek to monetize these value shows another motive entirely

i am starting to think fhemmmy's cameo appearance here tonight is to advertise his chain of exotic cars. grin

surely, he can't be serious.

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:18am On Feb 04, 2015
raumdeuter:


So most women wants kids and yet want to be paid because they have kids they desired

Not only a woman has value, every human has value and to seek to monetize these value shows another motive entirely

That was your own way of looking atit, she is not asking you to pay her tonhave kids, the society says younowe her to take care of the kids that you fathered through her, at least till the kids are adult.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by cococandy(f): 12:20am On Feb 04, 2015
soulglo:



So how did a cop get his wealth? Wealthy cop. That's funny. Can we just tell these stories the way they happen. Wealth cop rotflmao. Tell us that the woman was cheating, that she was abusive and lied in court and got away with it. That I might even believe but when you start off by saying wealthy cop I just SMH at the desperate measures people go to just to believe that something is the way it's not
the part where the woman spent sleepless nights working shifts and coming home to the unkempt house to begin a different shift as the house maid is usually conveniently forgotten.
Even the taxi drivers will claim that half their wealth was taken by the same woman who probably makes 4times what he makes.
Yet it was all his wealth that was shared in the divorce. The woman didn't contribute to it. undecided

5 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:20am On Feb 04, 2015
coogar:


i am starting to think fhemmmy's cameo appearance here tonight is to advertise his chain of exotic cars. grin

surely, he can't be serious.

I am more than serious, when you're married with daughters, you willl think twice. ...

6 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by viviraphz: 12:21am On Feb 04, 2015
D best thing to do when your wife makes you mad...you walk away...its hard but the best...God help us

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:21am On Feb 04, 2015
cococandy:
the part where the woman spent sleepless nights working shifts and coming home to the unkempt house to begin a different shift as the house maid is usually conveniently forgotten.
Even the taxi drivers will claim that half their wealth was taken by the same woman who probably makes 4times what he makes.
Yet it was all his wealth that was shared in the divorce. The woman didn't contribute to it. undecided


I laff in pigin English

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 12:22am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


I am more than serious, when you're martied with daughters, you willl think twice. ...

i would teach my daughters to be self-reliant. they would not take anything that does not belong to them.

3 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:23am On Feb 04, 2015
sukkot:
[b]well first of all, we all do not have a phobia for poverty. i dont have a phobia for poverty. so long as i have a roof and some clothes and food, i am cool. with regards to those men who killed their wife ? well truth be told these men are mentally unbalanced. if it wasnt their wives, they would have killed someone else. i have encountered nigerian men like these. they are mentally unstable. the mental instability is usually caused by overt racism. many of our people are all over the mental institutions in england. they have gone crazy. stark raving lunatics. they couldnt handle the racism and being a second class inferior citizen. so many give up and end up institutionalized. i know many people like this. i suspect in the case of these men, they didnt want to give up. they decided to play their last trump card. suffer indignity but work hard and then make enough to bring a nurse from nigeria so she can come to america and earn good money and i can rest and retire from society where i am classed as inferior. so this is their last trump card. and they play that hand succesfully and end up bringing the girl over. keep in mind these men are mentally unstable. then the girl turns on them when she starts making that cheddar. then the man just finally loses it and kills em. thats my psychoanalysis on the whole issue. his last trump card end up being a dud so he lost it and had nothing to live for. [/b]

I am glad u said men that kill wife are unbalanced
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:24am On Feb 04, 2015
cococandy:

If that's the case why then must the men insist the women do their duties for them which is to provide for the family?

He married her for her wifely roles, what did she marry him for? To be a house ornament? Since he won't do his part and won't help wifey with her part.

Clear case of wanting to eat his cake and have enough to save and sell.
Lorrie, would you like to be a full-time housewife? I asked this question because most of you ladies when asked would claim you don't want to housewives, only to turn around and make statements like yours above.
This kind of gets me confused as to what ladies really want.

PS: I won't have a problem with the idea of my woman being a housewife while I make all the money but she should be happy with that and not complain.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by SirShymexx: 12:26am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


Man or woman, no one like to be ignored. ... u seems to know much about what they dont like, so why not practice them and you will be in your wife's good book

Sir, but can you ever please a woman? grin

A lot of folks are still looking for the formula to solve the women Fermat's Last Theorem, and how to make them happy. If you can help, that will be a great achievement. grin
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:27am On Feb 04, 2015
coogar:


i would teach my daughters to be self-reliant. they would not take anything that does not belong to them.

They are married to the man and invest their life into that relayionship, so they are entitled to all that was made while in that relationship.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by cococandy(f): 12:28am On Feb 04, 2015
donpeey22:
Lorrie, would you like to be a full-time housewife? I asked this question because most of you ladies when asked would claim you don't want to housewives, only to turn around and make statements like yours above.
This kind of gets me confused as to what ladies really want.

PS: I won't have a problem with the idea of my woman being a housewife while I make all the money but she should be happy with that and not complain.
No I won't like to be a full time house wife.

All ladies don't want the same thing, so learn to take each person you meet by their own preference and not what you think to assume they should like based on generalizations

If your wife becomes a house wife at your request or insistence, she's entitled to half the money you make.

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by SirShymexx: 12:28am On Feb 04, 2015
sukkot:
[b]old heads ? lmao. nigga i aint old. well i have lived with a coupla women as if married. so technically i have been married without getting married. co-habitation. yeah naija parents. lucky for me i am the last born so all that expectation was dead on arrival when it got to me. plus my parents broke up when it got to me so my home became unconventional. unconventional home = no expectations. its like if it didnt work for both of yall why are you asking me to do it kinda scenario. but the point is that to enter marriage you need a wholesome mindset and zero expectations. thats the only way it will work. you cant go into a marriage expecting se--x cuz it will never work. you cant go into it expecting someone to complete you. you need to already be complete before you get into it. it is a very hard institution and you both have to be independent types. people with dependency issues will have a problem. i guess all am trying to say is that you got the right idea when you said someone with the same basic outlook[/b] wink


Just messing about with ya, bredrin. Old heads always have the tutoring effects. The only thing I've ever done that's close to co-habilitation was probably with my ex, from final year in Uni. She used to travel down from Brunel to Brum for weekends - and she did stay for a few weeks, a few times as well. And I did go to Brunel a few times for the weekend. But all these other chics are just one night sleepovers - maybe a few spent the weekend at my yard.

Even with that one, the first year was so nice that I couldn't even wait to get married straight after Uni. The pseudo-marriage experience was super-nice, especially for someone like me who gets bored of people easily. I never got bored of someone being in my space for the first time since I moved out of my parent's house. However, after the first year, the honeymoon period - it became a darn nightmare.

Anyway, what's the purpose of getting married if ya partner can't complete you, and she turns into ya source of anguish? - there's basically no point, hence these folks who have been pushed to the limit due to cumulative effects over a period of time always end killing their spouses. Not condoning murder, but it's difficult to control built-up anger. Also, you know black men in general hate divorce cos of ego, so most would always prefer to ride it out, despite not being happy in the marriage. The only other option is to go ghost - but the dead-beat stigma has been attached to that one with the black men as the face of it.

Marriage should be a partnership based on understanding, effective communication, complementing each other, mutual respect, and working within the confines of a well-defined structure - according to what the institution is about, with the man as the head/authority. However, with these women, they want to challenge the authority, get disrespectful, and have a slave they can boss around - yet they also want the same man to be the provider and protector. Talk about a piss-take and trying to eat ya cake and have it. They know the system will always protect them cos it's a zero-sum game.

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by soulglo: 12:29am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


I am sure the wealth he is talking about is a house that is yet to be paid off and maybe couple of cars that are still on finance....

lol. Usually the case
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:31am On Feb 04, 2015
SirShymexx:


Sir, but can you ever please a woman? grin

A lot of folks are still looking for the formula to solve the women Fermat's Last Theorem, and how to make them happy. If you can help, that will be a great achievement. grin

The question should b, can you satisfy human, man or woman?

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by soulglo: 12:32am On Feb 04, 2015
cococandy:
the part where the woman spent sleepless nights working shifts and coming home to the unkempt house to begin a different shift as the house maid is usually conveniently forgotten.
Even the taxi drivers will claim that half their wealth was taken by the same woman who probably makes 4times what he makes.
Yet it was all his wealth that was shared in the divorce. The woman didn't contribute to it. undecided



It's rare to find a Nigerian woman especially those fresh from nigeria who want to sit and home. The man would have to be pretty rich for that to happen and when I say rich I don't mean lawyer rich or medical doctor rich either.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 12:32am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


They are married to the man and invest their life into that relayionship, so they are entitled to all that was made while in that relationship.

what did they invest?
if the man got his house before she married him & she never contributed one cent to the mortgage repayment then she's got no right to remain in his house if she wants a divorce.

you don't want him then she should leave his properties alone.

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Moana(f): 12:34am On Feb 04, 2015
mutter:


The men married them because when before they got out they acted all humble or probably even where, but then their eyes opened.
I see some when they come newly "sir, daddy" and after a few months, "useless man".

How does a man become the kind of man that commands respect? Every human being commands respect. In accordance with our tradition every man commands respect from every woman and men have a different status in society. Did the woman not take a vow to submit to him or better for worse?
When you do the wine carrying why do you go down on your knees? Is that just a show, a body movement. It is a promise to the man made before your family and his that you would submit to the man and go down for him. The man does not have to command his respect it is your duty as his wife.

Divorcing them would mean loosing everything, even custody of the kid`s. That is how it functions. The man would loose everything he built up. He not only looses it but looses it to someone he built up who turned around to destroy him.


madam this doesnt make sense at all because if you murder someone you end up in jail with children that will probably have to move from one foster home to another. So you thinks it makes far much more sense to murder someone and lose it all as opposed to just divorcing her, and fighting for custody when you are financially stable? undecided

You are the kind of women that will support stupi.dity. The day it happens to someone close to you, you will shout discrimination and domestic violence.

how do you know that some of these issues dont start when the husband starts cheating on his wife who labours day and night to provide for them?

6 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:35am On Feb 04, 2015
coogar:


what did they invest?
if the man got his house before she married him & she never contributed one cent to the mortgage repayment then she's got no right to remain in his house if she wants a divorce.

you don't want him then she should leave his properties alone.

She invested time, emotion, so much of her.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 12:37am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


She invested time, emotion, so much of her.

so why walk away from her investment? grin who is pushing her to walk?

3 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:38am On Feb 04, 2015
coogar:


so why walk away from her investment? grin who is pushing her to walk?

You as the man pushed her out with your pride and abuse grin

3 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by cococandy(f): 12:45am On Feb 04, 2015
soulglo:



It's rare to find a Nigerian woman especially those fresh from nigeria who want to sit and home. The man would have to be pretty rich for that to happen and when I say rich I don't mean lawyer rich or medical doctor rich either.

Even if they do want to sit at home, can they afford to? How many families can really afford for one party to be a permanent stay home parent? That only happens when the kids are tender and once they are weaned,fiam it is off to the labor market for mama once again.

After all the struggle and suffer that both parents put in together, some men will still have the guts to say that it is all they worked for as if the part the woman played was nothing at all.

Every time on NL one keeps reading stuff like this you wonder if all the women in the world are house wives. Goes to show you the financial contributions of the wives are never taken into consideration when these alarmists start their exaggerations.
****************************************
The sentiments you see on this thread is exactly was goes on in the Nigerian environment.
The wives work tirelessly. both the educated and uneducated alike. Struggle to make ends meet and all what not only for the men to kick them out when they are bored and a new sissy is in the corner. All her contributions swept under the carpet because typically most families would buy props in the man's name even if they both brought the money for it.

That's why it seems unfair to them that a woman is given her due and fair share in the case of a divorce.


The wise courts of the west know this that is why anything acquired during marriage is community property as it is seen to be gotten by the joint effort of the couple whether only woman or the man is working.

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by SirShymexx: 12:46am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


The question should b, can you satisfy human, man or woman?

Hence I asked the question cos human wants are insatiable.

However, what makes women an exception is that: majority of them have this sense of entitlement with the belief that they can do no longer. And cos you're the man, ya existence has to be about pleasing them and catering to them. But on the flip side, they also want equality and being being the "man." So, no matter how you look at it, you can't win no matter what you do, and the best you can do is just play ya part and do what's best for you.

Men aren't perfect - but women also need to start taking responsibilities for their own failures, and stop being all over the place.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Moana(f): 12:58am On Feb 04, 2015
aisha2:
What happens here is what happens abroad.

Woman works with man to build a life, marries him poor, invests her money her youth her energy. Man hits it big, she suddenly isn't good enough, he throws her out and marries younger lover, she has nothing, old and tired she watches a younger woman enjoy the fruits of her labor and dies in misery and heart break.

Abroad, man hustles for years, makes enough money goes home picks a young " submissive" bride. They go abroad she sees the system goes crazy, kicks him out she doesn't need him, she earns a lot more, gets younger man, he is out in the cold, everything he works for gone with the wind, he is starting all over at 60 while pne young man is enjoying all he worked for all his life.

Its the same situation only difference is we hardly see headlines of " increase in rates of wives murdering their husband's " down here while the second one has loads of reports with people applauding and defending it
i find it funny how many clueless people always take out the "western laws favour women" card to justify everything. You get a man who does not even know how to change a diaper, cook and pack a lunch box for a child, screaming give me custody of my children during divorce and you wonder to yourself what in the hell he wants to do with those kids when he cannot even cater for their basic needs.

Let it be his mother or sister that dies the same way and see if he they will get up and applaud a job well done.

4 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 12:58am On Feb 04, 2015
SirShymexx:


Hence I asked the question cos human wants are insatiable.

However, what makes women an exception is that: majority of them have this sense of entitlement with the belief that they can do no longer. And cos you're the man, ya existence has to be about pleasing them and catering to them. But on the flip side, they also want equality and being being the "man." So, no matter how you look at it, you can't win no matter what you do, and the best you can do is just play ya part and do what's best for you.

Men aren't perfect - but women also need to start taking responsibilities for their own failures, and stop being all over the place.

Glad you know we all can't be satisfied, so back off the sister
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by raumdeuter: 1:00am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


I am more than serious, when you're married with daughters, you willl think twice. ...

First lesson I teach both sons and daughters is don't seek to take another mans possession for yourself, that's being a thief.

From toys to money don't take what is not yours, Anything you want, work for it that's why I am sending you to school

3 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 1:01am On Feb 04, 2015
Moana:
i find it funny how many clueless people always take out the "western laws favour women" card to justify everything. You get a man who does not even know how to change a diaper, cook and pack a lunch box for a child, screaming give me custody of my children during divorce and you wonder to yourself what in the hell he wants to do with those kids when he cannot even cater for their basic needs.

Let it be his mother or sister that dies the same way and see if he they will get up and applaud a job well done.

And a man residing in 2bd apartment or still owing 70% on his mortgage and cars not paid off, yet saying he lost everything to the woman

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Moana(f): 1:01am On Feb 04, 2015
SirShymexx:


Hence I asked the question cos human wants are insatiable.

However, what makes women an exception is that: majority of them have this sense of entitlement with the belief that they can do no longer. And cos you're the man, ya existence has to be about pleasing them and catering to them. But on the flip side, they also want equality and being being the "man." So, no matter how you look at it, you can't win no matter what you do, and the best you can do is just play ya part and do what's best for you.

Men aren't perfect - but women also need to start taking responsibilities for their own failures, and stop being all over the place.
in other words its okay for a man to be imperfect and accept the fact that he has failed in some aspects whereas a woman is expected to take responsiblity and correct her imperfections right?
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by raumdeuter: 1:03am On Feb 04, 2015
Fhemmmy:


And a msn residing in 2bd apartment or still owing 70% on his mortgage and cars not paid off, yet saying he lost everything to the woman

Yes he has paid all his life savings into the 30% of the house and the payment he has been making on the car. He lost everything he doesnt have to be Dangote to lose everything

If all he has is $1,000 and he loses it to his greedy wife then he lost everything

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 1:03am On Feb 04, 2015
raumdeuter:


First lesson I teach both sons and daughters is don't seek to take another mans possession for yourself, that's being a thief.

From toys to money don't take what is not yours, Anything you want, work for it that's why I am sending you to school

Teach them too to know more about what is happening around them and for the boy to have a heart and don't see woman as a object

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