mutter:


Aisha, ask your self this question-
What drives a man to commit an act that would get him locked up in jail for the rest of his life in a foriegn land. He would sit in jail and strangers take care of his kid`s. Not see his parent`s in Nigeria, not attend any funerals, weddings, go to any sick bed. Loose everything he had in his life.

What would make a rational human being pay such a high price. It certainly is not just anger or revenge! It is much more. The men have lost complete control of the situation because the fuse has snapped.

Have women here not gone through worse in Nigeria? Did these women go on shooting spree like their male counterparts abroad? Please you are clearly justifying murder by constantly pointing at the women. I wonder what the views here would be if it were women doing the killing. No matter what a woman does to you, no matter how acidic her mouth is to you, you dnt commit MURDER madam!! You dnt!! stop with the justification!!

aisha2:
What happens here is what happens abroad.

Woman works with man to build a life, marries him poor, invests her money her youth her energy. Man hits it big, she suddenly isn't good enough, he throws her out and marries younger lover, she has nothing, old and tired she watches a younger woman enjoy the fruits of her labor and dies in misery and heart break.

Abroad, man hustles for years, makes enough money goes home picks a young " submissive" bride. They go abroad she sees the system goes crazy, kicks him out she doesn't need him, she earns a lot more, gets younger man, he is out in the cold, everything he works for gone with the wind, he is starting all over at 60 while pne young man is enjoying all he worked for all his life.

Its the same situation only difference is we hardly see headlines of " increase in rates of wives murdering their husband's " down here while the second one has loads of reports with people applauding and defending it

Please stick to facts. The only man that would marry a younger woman in Nigeria and kick out his old wife is one who has been in the shoes of the man in this story because the environment enables it. No Nigerian man will kick out a respectful bread-winning wife. Let's not lose forthrightness in a bid to score points.

If a Nigerian has been disrespected and/or feel short changed with his hag of a wife, he within his rights to get her replaced. If she wants to keep her home, she would do well rto be the submissive temperate wife.

andromida:


True the couples hardly know themselves which is why the man should have married a woman he will not have to kill or develop coping skills to match the situation.

Note the woman could have divorced him and walked away with everything as you said but she didn't so why did she stay?

Why did she stay!
Did Aisha mention that there are no house helps over there.
Wrong- the men have been turned to house helps and are also privileged to be allowed to pay the bills.

When a nurse works 16 hours, who dresses and takes the kid`s to school, does the homework etc. I know a man that works night and his wife is a nurse. He comes back early in the morning baths and takes his girls to KG and school. Goes home sleeps a few hours then picks the kid`s from school. He then does the homework and housework and when the wife comes in the evening he is off to work.
The man is a nervous wreck. In this case the woman is a nice lady but till the man can`t cope.

mutter:


Why did she stay!
Did Aisha mention that there are no house helps over there.
Wrong- the men have been turned to house helps and are also privileged to be allowed to pay the bills.

When a nurse works 16 hours, who dresses and takes the kid`s to school, does the homework etc. I know a man that works night and his wife is a nurse. He comes back early in the morning baths and takes his girls to KG and school. Goes home sleeps a few hours then picks the kid`s from school. He then does the homework and housework and when the wife comes in the evening he is off to work.
The man is a nervous wreck. In this case the woman is a nice lady but till the man can`t cope.

But some of the men still expect that after a hard day the woman will come home and still perform her duties as is done in Africa. Failure to do so will earn her the tag of bad wife who wants to be westernised.
There are case scenarios for each of the scenes we have both painted. For me the way to get back at someone who hurts you is not by murdering them

Sophyrocks:


Have women here not gone through worse in Nigeria? Did these women go on shooting spree like their male counterparts abroad? Please you are clearly justifying murder by constantly pointing at the women. I wonder what the views here would be if it were women doing the killing. No matter what a woman does to you, no matter how acidic her mouth is to you, you dnt commit MURDER madam!! You dnt!! stop with the justification!!

Well women are doing it and have been doing it.
All the men that dies mysterious deaths in Nigeria. I wonder how many were poisoned?
Women kill their husbands and even their children sometimes. It does happen.
Look in certain parts of Nigeria, they take these children to spiritual churches and claim they are evil and witches and get the children tortured and even killed. Women that throw away their babies.

This is not a "man thing".

aisha2:


But some of the men still expect that after a hard day the woman will come home and still perform her duties as is done in Africa. Failure to do so will earn her the tag of bad wife who wants to be westernised.
There are case scenarios for each of the scenes we have both painted. For me the way to get back at someone who hurts you is not by murdering them

Aisha please, the woman was married to perform the duties of a wife. To submit and love her husband, take care of his home and family. They live in a system where you have to consider if the pay you get is worth employing a nanny or paying for child care.

It is the duty of the woman to cook and do the house work and she can thank God when she has a man who helps her.

Why leave your duty to do something else? First cope with your assigned duties before venturing into others.

The main issue here is that the man and kid`s are suffering neglect and the woman is sending the money home to her family or building her own empire in Nigeria.
Is that what the man married her for?

aisha2:



I can't even deal with this line of thought, all women abroad are not evil, marry who you know and stop running to marry girls you don't know just so you can act like a barbarian abeg.
This is sad coming from someone abused so all thosr times you got beaten shebi you provoked your ex? You make it sound as if these women earn their deaths did you earn every slap and belt you received

Modified. Never mind.
Wait...
I cant believe you said this.

aisha2:


So if women push their husband's to the wall should their reward be death? Men here push women to the wall everyday because the law here favours them, if women start poisoning their husband's should we say " oh well its the men who pushed them to the wall"?
Abuse of power is common to both genders but should one take laws into their hands and end a life?
As hard as it is for women here to start their life all over we always advice that they leave when a relationship gets bad, men too there should leave. Murdering their wives can certainly not be a solution

Ok.

Since to you its justification I am not responsible for your interpretation

mutter:


Well women are doing it and have been doing it.
All the men that dies mysterious deaths in Nigeria. I wonder how many were poisoned?
Women kill their husbands and even their children sometimes. It does happen.
Look in certain parts of Nigeria, they take these children to spiritual churches and claim they are evil and witches and get the children tortured and even killed. Women that throw away their babies.

This is not a "man thing".

spot on!
men are more victims of crimes of passion than women can ever be in nigeria. yes, women don't go on a shooting spree in Nigeria and men do not either. guns aren't that easily accessible.

nigerian women are mostly passive aggressive. slow poison, delayed poison, metaphysical powers, witchery, etc are some of the weapons women use in nigeria to ruin their spouses.

mutter:


Aisha please, the woman was married to perform the duties of a wife. To submit and love her husband, take care of his home and family. They live in a system where you have to consider if the pay you get is worth employing a nanny or paying for child care.

It is the duty of the woman to cook and do the house work and she can thank God when she has a man who helps her.

Why leave your duty to do something else? First cope with your assigned duties before venturing into others.

The main issue here is that the man and kid`s are suffering neglect and the woman is sending the money home to her family or building her own empire in Nigeria.
Is that what the man married her for?

So should a man murder his wife for doing this? Or in your words should a " provoked" man kill his wife? simple yes or no would do please

aisha2:


But some of the men still expect that after a hard day the woman will come home and still perform her duties as is done in Africa. Failure to do so will earn her the tag of bad wife who wants to be westernised.
There are case scenarios for each of the scenes we have both painted. For me the way to get back at someone who hurts you is not by murdering them

@ the bolded, its not just about home chores sef. These men themselves use their wives as milking factories. Why do you think these men only do menial jobs while their younger wives work like jackal for hours? These men will go hunting for younger women so they can be easily controlled as most older men believe and so that they can control the financial benefits coming from their wives. You can see their ages up there. All of them in their 50s. Why should a man go on newspapers advertising to marry only nurses? they barely know these ladies from adam they are bringing over o. I see those adverts on nwespapers na. And you know greedy ladies, once they hear "abroad", their ears will stand like antenna! Quickly they respond and off they go with these men. Now these men think the way things are in Nigeria, will remain so in U.S. Forgeting that all those antics they pull down here, you cnt try them abroad. You will see some will just sit at home doing nothing or decide to be taxi drivers. Most of them are not educated like that but would want to marry an educated woman. They are usually not aware of how demanding the nursing jobs are. but they expect the home chores not to suffer. Before you think of bringing a woman over just for the sake of using her as a milking cow, you should consider the nature of the job and be ready to fill in the holes the job would create in the home. These men are not ready to be supportive. so what do you expect?

If a man has noticed changes in his wife and she has become "Unbearable" as one of them in the Op puts it, why not divorce? Why kill? what have you gained in killing? Are these men trying to tell me other african men in the U.S also kill their wives too when provoked? Why is it only Nigeria men that are doing the killing? something is wrong with the way they reason.

mutter:


Well women are doing it and have been doing it.
All the men that dies mysterious deaths in Nigeria. I wonder how many were poisoned?
Women kill their husbands and even their children sometimes. It does happen.
Look in certain parts of Nigeria, they take these children to spiritual churches and claim they are evil and witches and get the children tortured and even killed. Women that throw away their babies.

This is not a "man thing".

Mysterious deaths in Nigeria is a result of a lot of things.

Abuse of drug prescription self medication
Neglect of ones health
The tough economy
Lack of coping mechanism to deal with depression etc.
We should also conduct autopsy which we hardly do and even fight the lagos state government for making compulsory. So its hard to know women who killed their husbands factually while these reported cases are documented and factual not speculative.

Even if they did, is it justifiable, excusable for a woman to murder a man simply because he doesn't love her anymore?

mutter:


Well women are doing it and have been doing it.
All the men that dies mysterious deaths in Nigeria. I wonder how many were poisoned?
Women kill their husbands and even their children sometimes. It does happen.
Look in certain parts of Nigeria, they take these children to spiritual churches and claim they are evil and witches and get the children tortured and even killed. Women that throw away their babies.

This is not a "man thing".

And how rampant is that? how many cases are they? some of them are even false reports because its very easy to point fingers at the women when the men lived horrible lifestyles that kept their health at risk. A man will die of diabetes and stroke and people in his town will say his wife killed him? How? All these cheating and maltreatment going on, why havent the women going through them killed their husbands? Abge say something else jare!! Murder can never be justified. If marriage tire you, you divorce!! Simple!! Now that these women are dead, where are the husbands now? Rottening in jail!! Thats better than divorce abi?

mutter:


Aisha please, the woman was married to perform the duties of a wife. To submit and love her husband, take care of his home and family. They live in a system where you have to consider if the pay you get is worth employing a nanny or paying for child care.

It is the duty of the woman to cook and do the house work and she can thank God when she has a man who helps her.

Why leave your duty to do something else? First cope with your assigned duties before venturing into others.

The main issue here is that the man and kid`s are suffering neglect and the woman is sending the money home to her family or building her own empire in Nigeria.
Is that what the man married her for?

Mutter since you are so into duties, why did the man not do his own assigned duties so the wife can concentrate on her assigned duties?

How do you know what the woman and her family are doing? It could be the man is angry that his slave now knows she is free,refuses to dutifully hand over her hard earned money and still be treated like shit.

Why did he marry her?

aisha2:


" you have nothing to live for then you have everything to die for" That was the opening please explain

Pickabeau1, if I may.

Men and women are wired differently. That is pure fact. This equality bullcrap modernists keep harping on is for political correctedness, nothing more.

Now a guy hustles and gathers enough pay to go abroad for greener pastures. He finally lands in America or wherever and realises he has to work his ass off and follow certain laws that were not predominant where he came from. He toils and suffers through racism and the law, condescending attitudes and whatnot until he is able to stand on his own two feet. He then brings you the woman from the same hellhole(for want of a better word,pls pardon me.) he escaped from and the woman is more than happy to come to obodoyibo with him. She accords him all the respect, is as humble as she can be and the man believes that truly he has married a gem, someone he can share his dreams and aspirations with. He brings her to his home and looks for a job for her.

Then all of a sudden she realises that oga is 'just a man', 'useless' etc. She begins to talk and she never stops . All of a sudden he is not good enough. She no longer respects him and starts saying things like 'respect I earned'. Bleep her. When he struggled to bring her abroad he didn't earn the respect abi? When he made sure she passed through the law he didn't earn the respect. When he finally ensured she got the job he didn't earn the respect. All of a sudden he is a useless man and she knows if he talks too much she just has to whislte and the police will haul his ass to jail regardless of who is wrong...all of a sudden all his dreams and aspirations are meaningless and his whole existence revolves around pleasing this woman he brought from her father's ##£% of a house...

A man would rather die.
A man would rather die than subject himself to such nonsense.

And don't say divorce is the answer cos we all know divorce most times favours the woman.


All men are beasts yes. So if you are getting married to a man you should learn how to tame that beast.

i dont know why the women dont leave the man
They still want to drain him dead, take the house, the kids and even collect settlement

Guess this is what the females want everywhere

No wonder marriage is dying

5minsmadness:

Pickabeau1, if I may.

Men and women are wired differently. That is pure fact. This equality bullcrap modernists keep harping on is for political correctedness, nothing more.

Now a guy hustles and gathers enough pay to go abroad for greener pastures. He finally lands in America or wherever and realises he has to work his ass off and follow certain laws that were not predominant where he came from. He toils and suffers through racism and the law, condescending attitudes and whatnot until he is able to stand on his own two feet. He then brings you the woman from the same hellhole(for want of a better word,pls pardon me.) he escaped from and the woman is more than happy to come to obodoyibo with him. She accords him all the respect, is as humble as she can be and the man believes that truly he has married a gem, someone he can share his dreams and aspirations with. He brings her to his home and looks for a job for her.

Then all of a sudden she realises that oga is 'just a man', 'useless' etc. She begins to talk and she never stops . All of a sudden he is not good enough. She no longer respects him and starts saying things like 'respect I earned'. Bleep her. When he struggled to bring her abroad he didn't earn the respect abi? When he made sure she passed through the law he didn't earn the respect. When he finally ensured she got the job he didn't earn the respect. All of a sudden he is a useless man and she knows if he talks too much she just has to whislte and the police will haul his ass to jail regardless of who is wrong...all of a sudden all his dreams and aspirations are meaningless and his whole existence revolves around pleasing this woman he brought from her father's ##£% of a house...

A man would rather die.
A man would rather die than subject himself to such nonsense.

And don't say divorce is the answer cos we all know divorce most times favours the woman.


All men are beasts yes. So if you are getting married to a man you should learn how to tame that beast.

aisha2 brought up this angle which has brought others running along with a point they dont even understand

It is not justifiable to murder anyone

However humans are unpredictable

Some will move on and rebuild their lives

Others will strike back

Humans for you

If you see it as justification .. its OK

I dont

Simple

Sophyrocks:


Simple!! Now that these women are dead, where are the husbands now? Rottening in jail!! Thats better than divorce abi?

Actually, it would seem a better deal considering the wife gets to have anything she wants, the house and children inclusive. It really isn't a shock to see a man deprive both himself and the ex of all that rather than have only himself left in the cold. There's really not much difference between a man in jail and a free one who's alienated from kids he has to work for or go to jail, not like he sees them when he wants.

At least, this biitch is dead and he's in jail. Hahahahah. He probably knew he wouldn't be able to pay alimony and upkeep for his kids, so why not just embrace the inevitable with equanimity?

5minsmadness:

Pickabeau1, if I may.
Men and women are wired differently. That is pure fact. This equality bullcrap modernists keep harping on is for political correctedness, nothing more.
Now a guy hustles and gathers enough pay to go abroad for greener pastures. He finally lands in America or wherever and realises he has to work his ass off and follow certain laws that were not predominant where he came from. He toils and suffers through racism and the law, condescending attitudes and whatnot until he is able to stand on his own two feet. He then brings you the woman from the same hellhole(for want of a better word,pls pardon me.) he escaped from and the woman is more than happy to come to obodoyibo with him. She accords him all the respect, is as humble as she can be and the man believes that truly he has married a gem, someone he can share his dreams and aspirations with. He brings her to his home and looks for a job for her.
Then all of a sudden she realises that oga is 'just a man', 'useless' etc. She begins to talk and she never stops . All of a sudden he is not good enough. She no longer respects him and starts saying things like 'respect I earned'. Bleep her. When he struggled to bring her abroad he didn't earn the respect abi? When he made sure she passed through the law he didn't earn the respect. When he finally ensured she got the job he didn't earn the respect. All of a sudden he is a useless man and she knows if he talks too much she just has to whislte and the police will haul his ass to jail regardless of who is wrong...all of a sudden all his dreams and aspirations are meaningless and his whole existence revolves around pleasing this woman he brought from her father's ##£% of a house...
A man would rather die.
A man would rather die than subject himself to such nonsense.
And don't say divorce is the answer cos we all know divorce most times favours the woman.
All men are beasts yes. So if you are getting married to a man you should learn how to tame that beast.

All men are not beasts. I say this respectfully ; speak for yourself. If you consider yourself one please don't make out other men to be like you. Its something you should work on personally and not attempt to draw other men into this road with you..

My father is not a beast
My brothers and cousins are no beast
My husband is no beast
My sisters are not married to beasts
So from these men I know,met and respect daily I stand to say No all men are not beasts and Pickabeau you chose to speak for will certainly agree that men are no beast. At least I have interacted with him and he is no beast, he is a kind hard working charitable man not a beast

Timbuktou:
Actually, it would seem a better deal considering the wife gets to have anything she wants, the house and children inclusive. It really isn't a shock to see a man deprive both himself and the ex of all that rather than have only himself left in the cold. There's really not much difference between a man in jail and a free one who's alienated from kids he has to work for or go to jail, not like he sees them when he wants.

At least, this biitch is dead and he's in jail. Hahahahah. He probably knew he wouldn't be able to pay alimony and upkeep for his kids, so why not just embrace the inevitable with equanimity?

This is it in plain cold words

When you are pushing that man to the pit, you think he wont be tempted to drag you in

Thanks for the kind words

Once again, its not about men are beasts

Its about the threshold or breaking point.

Until a man gets there, you cant know what he is fully capable of

No one is justifying murder

aisha2:


All men are not beasts. I say this respectfully ; speak for yourself. If you consider yourself one please don't make out other men to be like you. Its something you should work on personally and not attempt to draw other men into this road with you..

My father is not a beast
My brothers and cousins are no beast
My husband is no beast
My sisters are not married to beasts
So from these men I know,met and respect daily I stand to say No all men are not beasts and Pickabeau you chose to speak for will certainly agree that men are no beast. At least I have interacted with him and he is no beast, he is a kind hard working charitable man not a beast

pickabeau1:

This is it in plain cold words
When you are pushing that man to the pit, you think he wont be tempted to drag you in

most of these men would rather go to jail than let the wicked wife have the house, kids & half of his assets.

some of those naija men in the article called the police themselves and handed themselves in. they are prepared to die in jail than let the wife walk away with their assets.

pickabeau1:
aisha2 brought up this angle which has brought others running along with a point they dont even understand

It is not justifiable to murder anyone

However humans are unpredictable

Some will move on and rebuild their lives

Others will strike back

Humans for you

If you see it as justification .. its OK

I dont

Simple

I didn't bring about any angle, someone murdered someone. Now what is expected is condemnation a life has been taken not to say " ehnnn the murdered person May have deserved having their life stuffed out because they provoked the murderer"
No matter the gender of the murdered and murderer you don't take another human life because its not yours to take

pickabeau1:
Thanks for the kind words

Once again, its not about men are beasts

Its about the threshold or breaking point.

Until a man gets there, you cant know what he is fully capable of

No one is justifying murder

I stand by my words all men are not beasts any one male or female who kills another is the beast. Murder is not peculiar to any gender. Any man who considers himself a beast is free to do so but know you don't speak for every man while doing so.

Yes people snap and get to breaking points thats why we have crimes everyday but when a crime is committed is it okay to say because so and so did this then its understandable for the criminal to commit the crime?

Timbuktou:
Actually, it would seem a better deal considering the wife gets to have anything she wants, the house and children inclusive. It really isn't a shock to see a man deprive both himself and the ex of all that rather than have only himself left in the cold. There's really not much difference between a man in jail and a free one who's alienated from kids he has to work for or go to jail, not like he sees them when he wants.

At least, this biitch is dead and he's in jail. Hahahahah. He probably knew he wouldn't be able to pay alimony and upkeep for his kids, so why not just embrace the inevitable with equanimity?

You see the hypocrisy amongst y'all? The murder is better? so the kids are practically left out as orphans while he languishes in jail ba? who looks after the kids? What sort of vices will these kids be exposed to? More and more dysfunctional kids exposed to crimes. you see why reasoning illogically isnt for women alone? even men make stupid irrational decisions. And you guys will come out and castigate any woman who commits murder and accuse her of reasoning illogically. In eessence, you are saying all women here in nigeria going through all sorts of maltreatments from their husbands should kill their husbands since the bastards will be dead afterall. Nothing to lose ba?

Plss if you dnt have better logical points to make, dnt bother.

coogar:



some of those naija men in the article called the police themselves and handed themselves in. they are prepared to die in jail than let the wife walk away with their assets.

Boom. He who hath an ear, let him her hear.

Abeg make i go rest just one page see as I taya I wonder how my people carry on for pages lol.

aisha2:


I didn't bring about any angle, someone murdered someone. Now what is expected is condemnation a life has been taken not to say " ehnnn the murdered person May have deserved having their life stuffed out because they provoked the murderer"
No matter the gender of the murdered and murderer you don't take another human life because its not yours to take

As per condemnation
That is basic here

this is a forum so the discussion will move on the WHAT to the why or how

Ok
I condemn this ignoble act

The next statement is

What can be done to avoid the reoccurrence of this dastardly act


If it was condemnation only, the thread will have died since

So in other words, all nigerian men are beasts since they are the ones killing their wives. Other african men over there are not killing their wives o. Only Nigerians!! What a shame!! See murderers on this thread!

aisha2:


All men are not beasts. I say this respectfully ; speak for yourself. If you consider yourself one please don't make out other men to be like you. Its something you should work on personally and not attempt to draw other men into this road with you..

My father is not a beast
My brothers and cousins are no beast
My husband is no beast
My sisters are not married to beasts
So from these men I know,met and respect daily I stand to say No all men are not beasts and Pickabeau you chose to speak for will certainly agree that men are no beast. At least I have interacted with him and he is no beast, he is a kind hard working charitable man not a beast

I hear you.
When I said all men are beasts I was being allegorical(I hope I got that right). Its a common slang among the women folk so I was using it to pass across my point.

aisha2:


I stand by my words all men are not beasts any one male or female who kills another is the beast. Murder is not peculiar to any gender. Any man who considers himself a beast is free to do so but know you don't speak for every man while doing so.

Yes people snap and get to breaking points thats why we have crimes everyday but when a crime is committed is it okay to say because so and so did this then its understandable for the criminal to commit the crime?

I agree
Violence is not gender specific

I am not responsible for your actions or your reaction but my actions

However for me i will not push anybody to breaking point because I can

Timbuktou:
Boom. He who hath an ear, let him her hear.

and the ones who are scared of prison life go the whole 9 yards to kill the wife, the kids and themselves.

they would rather be a dead man than let an obnoxious greedy wife walk away with their assets.