₦airaland Forum

Preternatura1:
I would love to have you there hopefully, if that's something you are up to .

Thank you Ms.

shinejackie:
.

Chai babymama, u go kill me with laugh... lol @ Thomas John.....

babyosisi:
My dear
Igbos say persin no dey use the stick wey im suppose use scratch im inner ear begin dey scratch eye

babyosisi:
There are some that will insist on wearing 3 piece suit and Afro with those ties that look like a woman's scarf
Try all you can he won't change
All men are not equal

babyosisi:
Read over all her posts and look from the eyes of the man
The man doesn't have to deal with her only but her parents,nieces,nephews,cousins ,aunts and uncles
This will be a rough road
If this were my brother,I would want him to walk

Sincerely I don't think preternatura1 is a bad person,this is not just a good match for her

CoCoLav:
Naaa, just teasing you.

babyosisi:
My dear
Igbos say persin no dey use the stick wey im suppose use scratch im inner ear begin dey scratch eye

MarvellousGod:
Call it quits already. . Both of you are totally different, not on the same page at all...
●You like eating out but he prefers someone who can cook his meals..
●You prefer hiring people to do your chores, but he prefers a woman who can take care of chores.
● You prefer expensive and trendy stuffs but he thinks that wasteful.
● His accent doesn't match up to what you wish.
● You think a child shouldn't be flogged but he thinks otherwise.
●He's religious while you don't care so much about church.
● You don't like what he buys because they don't match up to what you wish.
● You don't like his dress sense.
●You both hold different views on how a child should be brought up.
● Your family may not like him
● His cutlery etiquette is bad, he fills the glass to the brim, he chews with his mouth open..
● He told you to change your gown, you refused.. Do you really think he would have ignored if you were married?

my dear, there's a lot at stake here, I really don't think any level of compromise can bring things to term..even if you compromise now, hope you can keep the compromise forever? ?.. All the best though..

Madampinkolo:
@MarvelousGod,thank you.Believe me when I say i'm the one who is lucky to have him.

Preternatura1,
Please permit me to address you..
While he's a good guy,he may not be right for you still.What strikes your fancy may be totally different from what gets me going.In every long term se xual relationship,things may dull after a while and it would take more effort to reach those levels of excitement that were reached at one minute in those days.
I've looked at your reasons and though they are not very tangible to me,they are very serious to you and i respect that.It's now left for you to decide.What is it he finds oyiboish about you?Do you consider him to be a bush man?Is it that his dressing is not up to par?Or is it a string of bad english (I is coming,i am spoking to you sort of thing?).There's no point being with someone you are ashamed of.It will weigh the relationship down.I normally prefer people to marry within or above their 'percieved' class to avoid he's not posh enough for me tales.

By exposure,what do you mean?He hasn't seen the world?He grew up in the village?He doesn't know how to drink from a champagne glass or hold cutlery?He doesn't know how to swish the wine in his mouth first before swallowing?

Why i'm asking is that most of these things can be remedied,they are fixable.If it's an issue for you that it hasn't been ingrained from childhood,it's fine.You are the one the shoe is pinching.

However,in the greater scheme of things and as you get older,you may find that these things don't really matter.Posh won't pay the bills,posh won't help around the house,exposure won't hold you and kiss you at night,exposure won't buy you flowers just because...
It's a good,kind reliable loving man who will.
I believe that you will find a man suited to your taste though. Nothing wrong in what you want,just make sure your priorities are in order.

My DH as he was then many people would have rejected.Strong non handsome face,just that general strong look.Then he had an accident that caused one of his legs to be about half an inch shorter than the other and a spine that's damaged to some extent.Now with this picture i presented,the first thought is to tear race abi? . I didn't.He has kind eyes,and such beautiful hands.I fell in love with his character and his hands.They are beautiful,i just don't know how to explain it.
Yea,upon his slight disability he smoked and drank o.I said i wouldn't marry a smoker,he quit.For over 5 years now,he hasn't smoked and he detests smoking.We share a beer or wine at home,he doesn't do the toxic every evening beer again.
My point is that it pays sometimes to look beyond what's infront of you.You may be shocked at the potential a not so 'hot' person has inside.I have noticed that people who are not so aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, work harder on their personality and refine their character(my opinion).
DH too had etiquette issues,not a power dresser etc.All it takes is a youtube video and practice.Enter a shop with crisp beautiful shirts and trousers and start dressing him up to your taste.Spend hours scouring magazines on men's fashion to find colour combinations?
You can be whatever you want to be with hardwork,team effort and determination.
Please make sure that if/when you leave him,you'll be 100% regret free even if you see a picture of him on a yatch.


NB. I can afford to be a tyrant with crazy opinions & get away with doing many things because of the temperament of the man i'm married to.So,no one should really listen to me abeg.

babyosisi:
My dear there are some people that you meet and you can't get past some issues o
I spoke about my ex fiancé that was chewing his food chakam chakam chakam at a function and my spirit left the union ozugbo
Well other things too

If she is not feeling the man,they are not married yet,she should move on and find another so she doesn't end up resenting the husband.

Floodgater:
Dont let any fear dampen your hope, discuss issues and your fears with him. It was the way it was because you didnt know what you know now thus was always making it your ways. Knowledge makes people do it differently right. You stand a better chance with this man than being always in fear like your sisters who married their class. Speak to him about your fears, watch him closely and pay attention to how he discussed them, you will know how genuine he is from this. Also make him open his fears about you, i think he has some too. The most important thing is that you both want to make a compromise now.

moca:
@thorpido,u seem very reserved.
Love ur prof.
Ur wife is one lucky lady.

I just posted about my flatmate
It's not a laughing matter cos she normally complain with all seriousness. Infact at times she will break down and cry.
She happened to be d first daughter and in school. So hubby is giving her money, her dad too.
If her mum says she wanna visit her,d man will tell her she is on her own o
That will not stop my inlaw from giving me my monthly allowance
Meanwhile during omugwo,papa is no where to be found. After buying omugwo thing for mama,u must buy his own else he will sieze mama own.
What a man!

babyosisi:
The more I read you the more I lean towards you freeing this man
He will be very miserable in this marriage and so will you
He has a lot of grounds to cover
I don't see him meeting up with your demands let alone the demands of your extended family
He is not a good match
He will spend an entire lifetime from here on not being himself or stepping his foot down( which is what I suspect will happen eventually ) and be at loggerheads with everyone in your family.
This is not trial and error
Go your separate ways
There is a woman out there who will love him for him
You are hoping to love him for what you hope he will become
There is a man out there for you too

Madampinkolo:
Preternatura1,
Thanks for answering me.
Will be back for you but based on the little you have said,it's obvious you both do not share many things in common and this may pose a HUGE problem.
Re read my other post to you.That he is good does not mean he is good for you. 2.I also mentioned that i prefer people to match up with their 'percieved' class or go higher..lower can still survive BUT it's easier to stay where you are more at ease.
You have already been tasked with oha soup,what next?hehehehehehe.

I'll be back to write you properly..A bit busy

bukatyne:
Trust me, If you are busy or with oga, you will not have time for those stuffs.

I cannot imagine checking If DIL greeted with her two knees or If she called my son by his first name or last.

It is not just me.

I can't cope? Pack myself back home

EfemenaXY:
^^ Disadvantages of marrying into an illiterate family.

Preternatura1:
Thank you, you are so kind.

We talked today and he is willing to meet me halfway, he always has anyways, I asked if he would treat me different than he does now if we were married, he answered by saying "You know how much you mean to me, I would never be happy if you are sad", in all honesty, this man treats me like a queen and he listens to me.
He worries about my attitude towards church, I sincerely told him I will continue to try, he says he really loves to see me cooking , that's kinda weird but he says it's sexy so I have to step up in this department, over all, he says he can live with me as that's what he really wants.
I have told him about taking some time to think it through which he agreed to, I have decided to let my girl off for a few weeks to see how well I can do without any help in the house.
He asked what I think about joint account and I couldn't really give an answer, I love my financial freedom, my parents have their different businesses and money, though I won't say I really know all that go on with them in this aspect, I do know however, that my mum buys whatever she likes most times without my dad knowing. I don't know if a joint account is a good idea, what do you think?
Please I hope I'm not starting to bug you with my many questions? I appreciate all your help, thank you so so much.

3cycle:
I thought that was meant for laffs?

EfemenaXY:
I wouldn't even be caught doing Omugwu or whatever it's called for my sons. No way.

For my daughter, I'll help out if she wants me to, but even then, I can't see myself packing my pots, wrapper, toothbrush, and slippers to set up camp in her matrimonial home for 12 months.

Will never happen.

Idowuogbo:
U dey mind them? If na so juju dey work, persin no suppose apply for visa na....odechi suppose dey carry man pikin go Europe. yeye people! Make man wash pant wey he dey comot, na juju! may hin load washing machine, you have jazzed him with houseboy-ism.

Floodgater:
You are in no way bugging me. Your fears stems from your naivety, dont be shaky, it will get better. With the meeting you had, i would say you are right on track. Be strong, positive and fear not. The issue about his mum asking you to prepare soup as her to be Dil, doesnt mean she will treat you wrongly. She may have done it out of a harmless tradition or perception. Always do what you can do and leave out what you cant to for her to be handled by your man. Even if she is shocked by it, it may be out of measuring you with her standards. You will know if she doesnt like you with subsequent meetings. As for the joint account, majority of those who do it, also keep personal account. Some do it if there is a project at hand or for life but still maintain their individual accounts. Take your time to think through it, if you are not comfortable with it, dont do it. You may or may not like it later on, but you both should be open to each other on your finances. Any issue that he puts before you, think through it before you compromise especially if you are not too sure or comfortable. Dont force it if you are not comfortable with somethings only discuss it with him for workable solutions because some of the changes will come naturally and easily with time but always be willing to compromise. My dear dont miss that good man for fear's sake, you most likely will regret it when you are more mature.

cococandy:

Preternatura1:
Wow!This post is killing me, I don't want to be scared no more, I already decided to compromise but you make is sound so hard.

He says he will meet me halfway and I him, don't you think we can make it work if we are sincerely committed to this? I have learnt a lot in a short while from the stories here, I have different men I can decide to date but I don't know that they'll be so nice and understanding.

There was a time I went on couple of dates with the son of my dad's business partner but he did not hold the door for me, he was often rude to service providers, my boyfriend is kind to people(though he hardly tips) and often holds the door, my sister and most ladies I know complain of infidelity but I don't have this problem, most people here think the issues I have with my boyfriend can be remedied, isn't that a good thing?

toshmann:
Ive been looking for you

Hey, im serious

Madampinkolo:
Preternatura1,
Thanks for answering me.
Will be back for you but based on the little you have said,it's obvious you both do not share many things in common and this may pose a HUGE problem.
Re read my other post to you.That he is good does not mean he is good for you. 2.I also mentioned that i prefer people to match up with their 'percieved' class or go higher..lower can still survive BUT it's easier to stay where you are more at ease.
You have already been tasked with oha soup,what next?hehehehehehe.

I'll be back to write you properly..A bit busy

cococandy:
how may I be of help?

toshmann:
The way Cleopatra helped McAnthony

babyosisi:
E speaki lekwe !!!!

Tosh o chu umu nwanyi
Hands off
Uzo Adighi dia cha cha
Ga choro kwa ndi owu gi na ha
I no dia n'eme Anya ura,onye ozo e move u o sharp mee the babe occupy
Umu nwanyi ndi ocha I chuwara kemgbe from Cardiff ,ga luta ofu