₦airaland Forum

freecocoa:
Lol

Okay then, what's your issue with the NL version?

SirShymexx:
You can never proffer proper solutions to an experience you're not acquainted with in real time, nor lived. I don't lead my life trying to be a woman - I deal with rules-of-engagement/standard(s) that govern both men and women in the society. And my role is to always play by those rules/standards - while maintaining mutual respect. The society is also not fair on me as a black man - but I've accepted it as my reality - why can't these black women do the same, rather than the unnecessary narcissistic/antagonistic behavioural patterns?

The only thing I can do is hear their experiences of the females around me (my sisters, mum, and other chics I know). However, they play their roles the right way without complaints cos they understand what's at stake. And that means a lot of these bitter "crying freeman" having fundamental problems, either induced by their opportunistic choices or their backgrounds. You can't blame anyone for that - it's your cross, just learn to carry it lol. Even if I were to look at it from the female perspective – I’d see a people with more opportunities in the society than black men cos the society feels more comfortable around black women than black men. Also, who have more things to their advantage – they just don’t know to exploit them.

There are dysfunctional families everywhere - not just Nigeria. A lot of folks were raised in broken homes out here, and they have moved away from that - and used it in making better choices as they progress in life. No excuse whatsoever.

Anyway, wherever you find a backward society - it's a no-brainer that the women are also backward. Perhaps, Nigerian women need to focus on their backwardness and stop disturbing men who're trying to eke out a living and raise great children. Have you seen the documentary of the industrial revolution in the UK? Go watch that documentary and see British women working in factories with kids on their back – while also working as home-keepers doing all the chores whenever they’re at home. Those are great women right women right – not the lazy naija ones who whinge about mere chores. I believe these women ought to start from there, and help build the darn country, rather than crying everywhere. Isn’t it shocking that almost every Nigerian from her mid-30 and above is over-weight/obese? And Nigerian homes are always stuffy/scruffy with things hanging everywhere due to how lazy and dirty the women are?

Darn!! I vowed to stay away from debates like this one. Anyway, what do you think about the utterly disrespectful/distasteful pic the OP posted, while portraying black men as crippled folks with broken spinal chord, who can’t stand on both feet? That’s some ridiculous joke taken too far, and the reason why I came on the thread.

Timbuktou:
So, I've been told. Don't have a willing partner to practise with though. I might just rent some of the mgbekes on here.

BABE3:
its fun to get under people's skin. plus i know all the feminism chants na wash.

kaboninc:
Who's then the Master sir?

pickabeau1:
LOL....

Timbuktou:
Bros, my slap no be here o. I reckon one slap will last these broads a couple of months

Timbuktou:
That's the wisdom hombre. The master is who the buck stops with. Who's got the biggest responsibilty(ies).

freecocoa:
You no well .

It may not all be wash you know, saying it's selective may suit it better, though I must admit that, I get confused with what some actually really stand for on here, you see someone claiming to be a feminist saying, she won't allow a male care giver for her female child, shifting responsibilities to men in cases of abuse and the likes, it gets funny sometimes sha.

I guess this is why the men here see it as a joke.

Timbuktou:
You watch what? You're a clown. my family is a model in my neoghbourhood. Other married men envy my balls and sagacity. That's a fact. I am the man. Not you no man having rabid skank.
What do you have to offer apart from puscy that I will be so smitten to be sweeping floors for you. You dey mad?

Come back at me when you're married for 6months you bloody reject virgin. You think being a man is moi-moi? Anyway, I don't blame you, you obviously had no examples to draw from. Fvck outta with your shallowness.

And yes, it's a master-slave relationship between my wife and I. I'm her slave to provide and protect, she's my slave to keep our home and our brood and we love the arrangement so.

And she's way more than anything your potential can hope to offer.

Shollypopzz:
That one really scared me! It still annoys me till today when I see some folks.

"shifting responsibilities to men in case of abuse"...........Errmm, I hope you are aren't talking about this past thread. Feminists have acknowledged time and again, that on the average, men are physically stronger than women. Any man that talks about beating a woman till he was satisfied is not innocent in my books.

Was that particular op's life threatened? Did the wife hit him first? Responding to a verbal attack by getting physical is wrong. At the end of the day, all the judge wants to know is who hit who first.

Shollypopzz:
He is not rich. He would rather endure a lower standard of living than contribute to household chores.

As long as such "individualistic-killing" mindset isn't passed on to the kids, I am happy. He and and his wife have a right to adhere to gender roles as long as they do not train their children that way.

Shollypopzz:
I do not take part in "male bashing". I take part in society bashing; and that consists of males, females and any other gender.

I concentrate my feminist energy on females, not males.

pickabeau1:
So what is your frame of reference

If your sphere of influence does not have men who are tied of their wives' aprons so what is the correlation to say this is a typical Nigerian marriage

im sure you know what typical means



If it is typical, that means a lot of females are also having these kind of marriages....

SirShymexx:
Those are just isolated case of selfish insecure men who are alas uso control freaks. If you were to do the ratio, it’d probably 1:1000 or more. As a man, as you start having kids – the priority shifts from you to the kids, even if you view ya wife as a mere appendage. Obviously, with that – having a high-flying wife is more of security and back-up plan, should in case life happens to you. Life’s a roller-coaster – with ups and downs. Which means: you might be at the top today, and fall face flat tomorrow. You never know what the future holds regardless of how meticulously you plan for it. So, once you have a high-flying wife as a “security” – you know your children will always get the best regardless of what happens to you – and vice versa. The priority is always most about the children.

Also, the world is so different right now that everyone needs a support system…and you can’t do it all by yourself, especially when kids are involved. The security/back-up plan is a necessity. So, just because a few backward men are like that – it doesn’t mean the overwhelming majority are like that. Most guys with careers go for women on the same level. Personally, I’ll never even get into a serious relationship with any chic that isn’t on my level. And even with that – I’ll always push her, the same way I push myself – to aim for the tops.

Anyway, with the picture – all I can see is an utter weakling. And it’s in bad taste.

DollyParton1:
EErrrm you are not a man ..... u sound like a barking dog. I laugh at your foolishness. I can't even deal with your stupidity. You are just a boy in a man's body.
You keep shouting protection like some broken CD, Negro!!! what are u protecting her from?



lolz her choice of marrying you shows that.

bukatyne:
1:1000 is probably in Utopia

Here, it is way way more...

And I know quite a number of men push and encourage their wives to do more and understand that either's success is amount success. I know Omo T's husband and Dora 's husband because of their wives.

A guy here still said his uncle was enjoying because his wife was at home to cook fresh food for him.

I asked If he would like it when all his married sister can be said to achieve is cooking fresh soup daily and he is yet to reply me

Timbuktou:
The wife is the head if she calls the shots in the home, even if the husband earns more

my wife could be as rich as Alakija for all I care. I'm ze boss baby. She don't like it, she can bounce and I get a newer model.

bukatyne:
Lols

Well she might decide to call the shots by setting you up to call her shots with your mouth.

What was the book on the manipulated man?

Need to read it sef.

BABE3:
I agree with damiso too and slimyem.

The "problem" is very universal.

Hollywood and Disney paint the white man as the "ideal modern man", and we believe it. The true picture of a typical western family is very different.

the white man complains of his wife getting fat after babies. He also uses that as an excuse to cheat.
the white woman too complains of being overwhelmed even with the availability of dishwashers, vaccum cleaners etc.

a typical white male (young or old) still expects females to cook for him while he plays fifa '15.

Like slimyem said, the gender equality thing is going in the wrong direction.

The men are still stuck in their old ways/roles. They dont feel the need to change since its women that want equality anyways. But for gender equality to work in any setting, both parties have to actively change their ways.


I don't see that happening anytime soon.
We can force men to pay child support and outrageous divorce settlements. But can we force them to do dishes and help in the kitchen?

Timbuktou:
hehehe. That's usually how it works, but any overt attempts at power-grabbing will be met with resistance.

You should read it; you can get a free pdf online.

bukatyne:
With your logic, all Nigerians eat 3 square meals because I can afford to or all Nigerians can afford a G-Wagon because all of Folorunsho Alakija 's family can afford it.

And yes, a lot of ladies have such marriages where they are expected to be Shakira, Dora Akunyili and super star in cleaning all at nice while the man only part provides.

bukatyne:
Might do

Subtle manipulation isn't for me; I prefer intelligent discussions and both agreeing to the best option available.

I would feel very guilty manipulating someone to do What I want.

We are different anyways.

BABE3:
I don't think there's anything wrong or unfair with the way timbuktou runs his family.... he pays all the bills; she does all the chores; she keeps most of her money to herself.

Super fair! He can claim head-ship.

The problem though is with the economy, most homes need the 2 hands on deck when it comes to providing. In this case, it's only fair they share the chores. But the men in these homes don't want chores at all.

Any woman that puts up with that is a masochist.

Like that woman in OP's picture, the excess baggage must be giving her orgasms.

SirShymexx:
Your argument for female gender is also applicable to the black/African race, with black men as the most affected. Look at it from a universal perspective and you'd see that black men are the most affected on the planet. Black women still have it better on the totem pole - reality.

Nah, my post's synonymous with the civil rights movement, where all the disadvantaged folks on the planet marched together, and asked for universal change in scheme of things. We're both in the struggle together!

Being a superwoman is what every black woman should endeavour to be. The mothers. Strong black woman was coined from superwoman virtues - be glad all these things are delegated to you, while the men work their socks off to put food on the table. It's not easy on these streets.

bukatyne:
Is This Babe?

Color me shocked

The elections will surely be Good.

I like to reference Nigerian because that is What I am familiar with. I don't even reference African men because that cut across a lot of dynamic cultures.

Like I said Some years back, the 'fight' now should be mental.

If people's mentality do not change, We will be stuck in the same spot.

BABE3:
its fun to get under people's skin. plus i know all the feminism chants na wash.

SirShymexx:
You can never proffer proper solutions to an experience you're not acquainted with in real time, nor lived. I don't lead my life trying to be a woman - I deal with rules-of-engagement/standard(s) that govern both men and women in the society. And my role is to always play by those rules/standards - while maintaining mutual respect. The society is also not fair on me as a black man - but I've accepted it as my reality - why can't these black women do the same, rather than the unnecessary narcissistic/antagonistic behavioural patterns?

The only thing I can do is hear their experiences of the females around me (my sisters, mum, and other chics I know). However, they play their roles the right way without complaints cos they understand what's at stake. And that means a lot of these bitter "crying freeman" having fundamental problems, either induced by their opportunistic choices or their backgrounds. You can't blame anyone for that - it's your cross, just learn to carry it lol. Even if I were to look at it from the female perspective – I’d see a people with more opportunities in the society than black men cos the society feels more comfortable around black women than black men. Also, who have more things to their advantage – they just don’t know to exploit them.

There are dysfunctional families everywhere - not just Nigeria. A lot of folks were raised in broken homes out here, and they have moved away from that - and used it in making better choices as they progress in life. No excuse whatsoever.

Anyway, wherever you find a backward society - it's a no-brainer that the women are also backward. Perhaps, Nigerian women need to focus on their backwardness and stop disturbing men who're trying to eke out a living and raise great children. Have you seen the documentary of the industrial revolution in the UK? Go watch that documentary and see British women working in factories with kids on their back – while also working as home-keepers doing all the chores whenever they’re at home. Those are great women right women right – not the lazy naija ones who whinge about mere chores. I believe these women ought to start from there, and help build the darn country, rather than crying everywhere. Isn’t it shocking that almost every Nigerian from her mid-30 and above is over-weight/obese? And Nigerian homes are always stuffy/scruffy with things hanging everywhere due to how lazy and dirty the women are?

Darn!! I vowed to stay away from debates like this one. Anyway, what do you think about the utterly disrespectful/distasteful pic the OP posted, while portraying black men as crippled folks with broken spinal chord, who can’t stand on both feet? That’s some ridiculous joke taken too far, and the reason why I came on the thread.

Shollypopzz:
That one really scared me! It still annoys me till today when I see some folks.

"shifting responsibilities to men in case of abuse"...........Errmm, I hope you are aren't talking about this past thread. Feminists have acknowledged time and again, that on the average, men are physically stronger than women. Any man that talks about beating a woman till he was satisfied is not innocent in my books.

Was that particular op's life threatened? Did the wife hit him first? Responding to a verbal attack by getting physical is wrong. At the end of the day, all the judge wants to know is who hit who first.

bukatyne:
Una blood don mix abi?

cococandy:

bukatyne:
With your logic, all Nigerians eat 3 square meals because I can afford to or all Nigerians can afford a G-Wagon because all of Folorunsho Alakija 's family can afford it.