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When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 11:07pm On Mar 25, 2015
ignore what ?? what r u saying?

ferdimako:

well...it is as hard as u being a virgin before marriage.....and ur age will make u ignore.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by postmann: 11:09pm On Mar 25, 2015
itops:


I NO FIGHT.O, it just got to me that most of you men jump at topics like this to give selfish reasons why you should remain eternal cheats.

now my point is, our forefathers as you stated out and have been congratulated with 2 bottles of orijin are definately not older than GOD our creator who from creation , created just EVE FOR ADAM..if God sactions our forefathers attitude of subjecting women to household appliances by marrying as many wives as they like, why did he not add MARY AND ELIZABETH TO ADAM at creation when he (GOD) gave EVE TO ADAM.

i hate it when men thinks they are wiser than GOD.

Truely you spoke the plain truth. The bible which is GOD's guide for man, is superior to any human culture, tradition or values. But i must ask you: do you also adhere and hold tightly the same scripture that says you honour and obey your husband in all things as to the LORD? If you dont, then its a shame cos you'd have been an unbearable hypocrite.
I think the 21st century woman is a GODless rabel who wants to eat her cake and have it. But she doesnt know she's trying to carry two curses - hers and the one meant for men. The result is unhappiness, unfulfilled life and misery even to the grave. And they produce children without motherly care and love cos mothers have become men. And these children grow to become terrors to society.

3 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by itops(f): 11:14pm On Mar 25, 2015
stan241:
pray tell what point exactly..that once you rich,handsome and lively that you must cheat? Is that the point I'm supposed to understand?..I'm sorry my thinking and orientation doesn't subscribe to such cus if it did, then the money my parents spent on my education would have been an absolute waste

dont mind those jobless minds.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 11:18pm On Mar 25, 2015
shitshappen:
I am a Christian, I believe in the bible as the word of God. And Jesus as the son of God.

I know the problem with our society was the day we accepted the white man's way of life, don't get me wrong. It is not in the blood of an African man to be with one woman. Centuries of practicing polygamy is now having a toll on us. We want to be faithful, we want to show you we love you, and the kids we had together with you.
But sometimes we also want to be with the other woman, they complement you. You are not perfect and we know that , that other woman sometimes make your own imperfections easy to bear.
Ask me one thing I want to change about christianity, it is that dictate of one man one woman. Now you know why I said I'm a Christian who believe in bible,who believe in christ Jesus.
I might be wrong, I might be right. I just know that men are not hot-wired to be with one woman, check the Patriarchs

Well actually, Christianity never said that.
That only applies to people who want an office in the church. So they can have enough time to do so instead of the distraction of multiple wives.

Not everybody needs to be a deacon.

The catholics took it one step further by forbidden from marrying altogether.... a practice that was warned about here 1 Timothy 4:1-4
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by itops(f): 11:22pm On Mar 25, 2015
postmann:


Truely you spoke the plain truth. The bible which is GOD's guide for man, is superior to any human culture, tradition or values. But i must ask you: do you also adhere and hold tightly the same scripture that says you honour and obey your husband in all things as to the LORD? If you dont, then its a shame cos you'd have been an unbearable hypocrite.
I think the 21st century woman is a GODless rabel who wants to eat her cake and have it. But she doesnt know she's trying to carry two curses - hers and the one meant for men. The result is unhappiness, unfulfilled life and misery even to the grave. And they produce children without motherly care and love cos mothers have become men. And these children grow to become terrors to society.

what are you saying. when you say honour your husband in all things, do you mean i should go on my knees and thank him for putting his dick were he should'nt? i dont get you MR POLITE.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 11:27pm On Mar 25, 2015
itops:


what are you saying. when you say honour your husband in all things, do you mean i should go on my knees and thank him for putting his dick were he should'nt? i dont get you MR POLITE.

1. Please tell me where it is on your body you feel your husband shouldn't put his dick. Every orifice of yours should be fair play. Just use oil cool
2. Whats wrong with thanking him for being a great fawk? You think say e easy? You may think it uneccessary but women would be surprised how much so they can make their men kolo and do anything for them (esp. outside the bedroom) simply by just being appreciative (and reducing complaints). Men were made like God in a way. Praise works wonders. grin
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by itops(f): 11:49pm On Mar 25, 2015
chiefdoctor:


1. Please tell me where it is on your body you feel your husband shouldn't put his dick. Every orifice of yours should be fair play. Just use oil cool
2. Whats wrong with thanking him for being a great fawk? You think say e easy? You may think it uneccessary but women would be surprised how much so they can make their men kolo and do anything for them (esp. outside the bedroom) simply by just being appreciative (and reducing complaints). Men were made like God in a way. Praise works wonders. grin

I THINK YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC, YOU ARE GRADUALLY GOING OFF POINT. THE TOPIC IS ABOUT SIDE CHICK NOT ME. AND WHEN I SAY "PUT HIS DICK WERE HE SHOULD'NT" IS ABOUT THE SIDE CHICK. Abi husband de cheat on his wife with his own wife again? see me.o

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by postmann: 11:53pm On Mar 25, 2015
Sunshinelady:
I don't tink ANYBODY is 'wired' to stick to one person. Even an honest married woman will admit dat once in while u see a hot dude, if u don't control urself u start to desire him (u r human). In d olden days only men where allowed such freedom to explore their sexuality because women were being supressed then. So don't tell me because our forefathers married plenty wives and our 'foremothers' married only one man, dat it means dat its only men dat are wired to desire multiple partners no! Human needs are insartible be u male or female. Its only d fear of God dat keeps us in check. So my dear, if u r redy to stick to ur wife, she sticks to u, if u want to stray pls allow her do d same cos wat is good 4d goose is good for d gander. We women too are wired to love 'fruit salad' (who no like better thing), but its just dat desire to be morally upright & not break d rule of God dat mkes us behave ourselves. So don't gimme dat crap about only men being d ones wired to desire 'oda good pleasures'

some of your point made sense, but trying to equate a cheating husband to a cheating wife turned your comment on its head. It is a TABOO for a wife to cheat. Ask your heavenly FATHER, ask the babalawo from in your village. At no time did GOD permit women to have more than one husband at a time. Rather HE says such practice is disgusting to HIM. A woman's sexual organ was made in such a way that sexx is an invation of her innermost body. Except she knows no shame or is possessed, she cant seek revenge on her cheating husband by humbling herself spreading her legs for another man. She'd be a fool, the double loser and a public toilet. Sex is humbling for the female no matter what the devil-inspired 21st century culture tells you. Even your children cant get over the shame.
While we hope that men change and be faithful to their wifes, a woman who really understand SHAME cannot seek revenge by becoming a detestable adultress. Cervical cancer is a curse on loosed women.

3 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by obowunmi(m): 11:59pm On Mar 25, 2015
postmann sounds like a bloody sexist. WTF

2 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by postmann: 12:06am On Mar 26, 2015
itops:


what are you saying. when you say honour your husband in all things, do you mean i should go on my knees and thank him for putting his dick were he should'nt? i dont get you MR POLITE.

Telling you spoke the truth should have implied toyou that i dont support cheating husbands. My question rather bothered on the basis from which you drew your point - The Holy Bible. Since you could be clever enough to point out GOD's plan for husband and wife, it is also pertinent you are pointed to the same scripture that spelt your responsibility to your husband - SUBMISSION - one that has become a thorn in the compromised flesh of the 21st century woman.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by postmann: 12:10am On Mar 26, 2015
obowunmi:
postmann sounds like a bloody sexist. WTF

If that is the 21st century name for a man who speaks the truth irrespective of the times and moral chalenges and the errosions of what constituted TABOO, then I sure am a SEXIST! cool
obowunmi:
postmann sounds like a bloody sexist. WTF

If that is the 21st century name for a man who speaks the truth irrespective of the times and moral chalenges and the errosions of what constituted TABOO, then I sure am a SEXIST!
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by otipoju(m): 12:18am On Mar 26, 2015
akinsadeez:


lemme look at this from an African perspective.

Considering the bolded, it seems we now indulge in a form of historical revisionism. What I mean is that during the times of our fathers and grand fathers, the other woman as you have termed it, wasn't actually just 'the other woman', she was the other wife or wives. Back then our fathers not only dated other women, they often married them and the whole house still lived harmoniously. My grandfather for example, had 4 wives and it was the accepted norm then. But now when we look back with our rose tinted glasses, we assume, like you have done that having other women has always been an unacceptable practice which is now being tolerated rather than the opposite.

In fact, I would posit that the so called paradigm shift has actually been the vilification of the 'other woman'. Education and religion has now made us to see a one man one woman marriage as sacrosanct and any woman outside that union as the devilish meddlesome interloper. This was never part of the values our mothers had in the African setting.

I really like the way you reason .
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 12:30am On Mar 26, 2015
itops:


I THINK YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC, YOU ARE GRADUALLY GOING OFF POINT. THE TOPIC IS ABOUT SIDE CHICK NOT ME. AND WHEN I SAY "PUT HIS DICK WERE HE SHOULD'NT" IS ABOUT THE SIDE CHICK. Abi husband de cheat on his wife with his own wife again? see me.o

My apologies for the derailment madam.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by OKNkanu(m): 12:37am On Mar 26, 2015
.... am I the only one who doesn't understand this? ....
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by brownlord: 1:18am On Mar 26, 2015
cococandy:


Taking you own food to eat is abomination? shocked

So if you cook and your wife joins you to eat and enjoy the delicious meal you prepared, will you stop existing?

Na wa.

I will stop existing if I cook for any woman.

I'm damn sure your father never cooked for your mother, and my father dint do either.

Where did you get that from? Western civilisation I guess. I don't have a problem with that.

But how come when the man is coming to ask for your hand in marriage you suddenly forget western culture and insist he must go to your village to see your some elders and village ancestors, subject him to kneeling down before some old men all in the name of traditional marriage.

Don't you watch movie or see how the people you practice their culture get married? When they can just call few friends sometimes without the consent of their parents

Will you agree to any arrangement that will not allow you go stage party in your fathers house, will you agree if a man says he won't be going to your village to pay your bride prize or go to kneel down before some old men who he has no business with just because he wants a wife?

why subject a man to those inhuman treatment during marriage only to get to his house and start forming western culture?

3 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 1:30am On Mar 26, 2015
brownlord:


I will stop existing if I cook for any woman.

I'm damn sure your father never cooked for your mother, and my father dint do either.

Where did you get that from? Western civilisation I guess. I don't have a problem with that.

But how come when the man is coming to ask for your hand in marriage you suddenly forget western culture and insist he must go to your village to see your some elders and village ancestors, subject him to kneeling down before some old men all in the name of traditional marriage.

Don't you watch movie or see how the people you practice their culture get married? When they can just call few friends sometimes without the consent of their parents

Will you agree to any arrangement that will not allow you go stage party in your fathers house, will you agree if a man says he won't be going to your village to pay your bride prize or go to kneel down before some old men who he has no business with just because he wants a wife?

why subject a man to those inhuman treatment during marriage only to get to his house and start forming western culture?

This is something a lot of our women do not understand.
You can't have it both ways.

My woman is Carribbean (utterly gorgeous black lady) and even THEY know how to take care of their men because their culture is very family oriented, AND you don't pay for no bloody brideprice/list/ two-weddings either. We can use that money for other more meaningful things. When I decide to marry her is left to me (and her), not the size of my wallet.
The more naija guys smart up and broaden their marital horizons and leave confused naija women alone to be wanting all and every, the sooner they will sort their shlt out.

Abi what will make you marry woman that cannot act like a woman in the home?
where as the same one who will accuse you of gender stereotyping will still open her mouth to say "be a man" if money no dey for am to chop or if she manage earn pass you LOL.
Abegi.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by cococandy(f): 1:38am On Mar 26, 2015
My father cooked for my mom pls say what you know.

Don't worry one day you will cook for your wife and you will remember this post.

Bla ble bla about African/western culture.
But you will welcome your wife's money in your house to assist the family.

You can remain steeped in culture or chose a method that is convenient for your family. When you reach that level, no be person go teach you to adapt.
brownlord:


I will stop existing if I cook for any woman.

I'm damn sure your father never cooked for your mother, and my father dint do either.

Where did you get that from? Western civilisation I guess. I don't have a problem with that.

But how come when the man is coming to ask for your hand in marriage you suddenly forget western culture and insist he must go to your village to see your some elders and village ancestors, subject him to kneeling down before some old men all in the name of traditional marriage.

Don't you watch movie or see how the people you practice their culture get married? When they can just call few friends sometimes without the consent of their parents

Will you agree to any arrangement that will not allow you go stage party in your fathers house, will you agree if a man says he won't be going to your village to pay your bride prize or go to kneel down before some old men who he has no business with just because he wants a wife?

why subject a man to those inhuman treatment during marriage only to get to his house and start forming western culture?

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by brownlord: 1:51am On Mar 26, 2015
chiefdoctor:


This is something a lot of our women do not understand.
You can't have it both ways.

My woman is Carribbean (utterly gorgeous black lady) and even THEY know how to take care of their men because their culture is very family oriented, AND you don't pay for no bloody brideprice/list/ two-weddings either. When I decide to marry her is left to me (and her), not the size of my wallet.
The more naija guys smart up and broaden their marital horizons and leave confused naija women alone to be wanting all and every, the sooner they will sort their shlt out.

Bro, don't mind our naija girls, they want to eat their cake and have it.

An uncle of mine got married some years ago and the girls father almost scatters the wedding, guess why, that didn't kill the cow they used for the wedding in his house. The venue for the wedding is different, but the man insisted they must bring the cow to his house to slaughter before taking it to where they are preparing the wedding food. The man almost boycotted the wedding, if not for timely intervention of some family members,

I'm not talking about traditional marriage o, white wedding

The woman will get to the mans house and start spewing rubbish about civilisation.

I overhead my sister and her friend discussing about the girls wedding introduction, my sister first came home after the introduction and was angry, I asked her why she is angry, according to her, it was suppose to be just introduction between both families, but guess what, the girls family invited almost their entire village and neighbourhood, my sister's anger was that the girls mother keep coming to demand money from the boy to buy drinks outside the drinks they bought for the ceremony

Imagine the girls mother "My Inlaw, some family people just come, them never drink" bring money make we buy them drink

The silly girl will wake up from the wrong side of her bed tomorrow and say she can't make the mans food

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by brownlord: 1:57am On Mar 26, 2015
cococandy:
My father cooked for my mom pls say what you know.

Don't worry one day you will cook for your wife and you will remember this post.

Bla ble bla about African/western culture.
But you will welcome your wife's money in your house to assist the family.

You can remain steeped in culture or chose a method that is convenient for your family. When you reach that level, no be person go teach you to adapt.

You've not answered my question

Cococandy, assuming I want to marry you and I refuse to go kneel down before your village masquerade ( na joke o ) elders or maybe we both living in Lagos or Abuja or even outside the country, I refuse going to your village for any silly traditional marriage because I don't believe in tradition/African culture.

Cococandy, will you agree to to marry me, we can do other ceremony, white wedding, registry and all others, but I'm not comfortable going to your village, having some old men subject me to some sought of rituals in the name of traditional wedding, or giving me kolanut to pray for me etc.

Will you agree to this?
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 2:03am On Mar 26, 2015
brownlord:


Bro, don't mind our naija girls, they want to eat their cake and have it.

An uncle of mine got married some years ago and the girls father almost scatters the wedding, guess why, that didn't kill the cow they used for the wedding in his house. The venue for the wedding is different, but the man insisted they must bring the cow to his house to slaughter before taking it to where they are preparing the wedding food. The man almost boycotted the wedding, if not for timely intervention of some family members,

I'm not talking about traditional marriage o, white wedding

The woman will get to the mans house and start spewing rubbish about civilisation.

I overhead my sister and her friend discussing about the girls wedding introduction, my sister first came home after the introduction and was angry, I asked her why she is angry, according to her, it was suppose to be just introduction between both families, but guess what, the girls family invited almost their entire village and neighbourhood, my sister's anger was that the girls mother keep coming to demand money from the boy to buy drinks outside the drinks they bought for the ceremony

Imagine the girls mother "My Inlaw, some family people just come, them never drink" bring money make we buy them drink

The silly girl will wake up from the wrong side of her bed tomorrow and say she can't make the mans food

WOW
Yeah that wife would certainly have NO ground to even dare develop any kind of liver to form feminist after all that.
Where was her liver when the man was going through all that?

That's funny though with the "you must kill the cow in my house".
I think that inlaw was a fetishist and wantd to use the blood to appease his house idol so as to kill 2 birds with one stone so to speak.
If na me, I would have VEHEMENTLY opposed that. No be my wedding food you go use take do demon sacrifice.

Which tribe that one be?

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 2:09am On Mar 26, 2015
cococandy:
My father cooked for my mom pls say what you know.

Don't worry one day you will cook for your wife and you will remember this post.

Bla ble bla about African/western culture.
But you will welcome your wife's money in your house to assist the family.

You can remain steeped in culture or chose a method that is convenient for your family. When you reach that level, no be person go teach you to adapt.

So what you are saying is the man should always only adapt in the way that suits you and your folks while you dodge and navigate your way the easy way out in each situation.
You are also trying to make it sound like women earning their own money even the days of our fathers was a new thing.

Besides child rearing and house keeping, our mothers went to the farms and markets as well and made money too.
So please stop making it sound like feminism/equality/wuteva is what brought women working.

Y'all just got lazy and want a change. Which is fine, but don't you dare expect us to still follow the old excessive ways of marrying you too.
If you can't prove stubborn to your parents about not over-doing the culture thing and demanding heaven and earth for marrying you, then don't come to our house to prove stubborn for us after keeping silent throughout the deed because you got nothing to run on.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by cococandy(f): 2:10am On Mar 26, 2015
brownlord:


You've not answered my question

Cococandy, assuming I want to marry you and I refuse to go kneel down before your village masquerade ( na joke o ) elders or maybe we both living in Lagos or Abuja or even outside the country, I refuse going to your village for any silly traditional marriage because I don't believe in tradition/African culture.

Cococandy, will you agree to to marry me, we can do other ceremony, white wedding, registry and all others, but I'm not comfortable going to your village, having some old men subject me to some sought of rituals in the name of traditional wedding, or giving me kolanut to pray for me etc.

Will you agree to this?

What a question.
If you don't want to go the girl's village to perform marriage rites meaning you are saying you want to cohabit without marriage.


No I won't agree to that.
You have to do marriage rite/ceremony to be considered married.
No I don't suport the guy being fleeced or put under extortion or any degrading practices like you described in your post.

You might as well skip church wedding because you don't believe in religion.
Also skip court wedding because you don't care about the legal system.

where does all this even fit into

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by brownlord: 2:11am On Mar 26, 2015
chiefdoctor:


WOW
Yeah that wife would certainly have NO ground to even dare develop any kind of liver to form feminist after all that.
Where was her liver when the man was going through all that?

That's funny though with the "you must kill the cow in my house".
I think that inlaw was a fetishist and wantd to use the blood to appease his house idol so as to kill 2 birds with one stone so to speak.
If na me, I would have VEHEMENTLY opposed that. No be my wedding food you go use take do demon sacrifice.

Which tribe that one be?

I doubt, just to show in the neighbourhood they killed cow for his daughters wedding, that's what I think though.

But the point is, why don't the girls ever speak or confront their parents when making such inhuman demand from their man.

If a woman subject me to kneeling down before his village masquerade before marrying her, she should also be ready to same when we get home.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by cococandy(f): 2:11am On Mar 26, 2015
All of this to talk your way out of cooking for your wife if need be? grin

Don't worry Oga you will get there someday.
chiefdoctor:


So what you are saying is the man should always only adapt in the way that suits you and your folks while you dodge and navigate your way the easy way out in each situation.
You are also trying to make it sound like women earning their own money even the days of our fathers was a new thing.

Besides child rearing and house keeping, our mothers went to the farms and markets as well and made money too.
So please stop making it sound like feminism/equality/wuteva is what brought women working.

Y'all just got lazy and want a change. Which is fine, but don't you dare expect us to still follow the old excessive ways of marrying you too.
If you can't prove stubborn to your parents about not over-doing the culture thing and demanding heaven and earth for marrying you, then don't come to our house to prove stubborn for us because you got nothing to run on.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 2:16am On Mar 26, 2015
cococandy:


What a question.
If you don't want to go the girl's village to perform marriage rites meaning you are saying you want to cohabit without marriage.


No I won't agree to that.
You have to do marriage rite/ceremony to be considered married.
No I don't suport the guy being fleeced or put under extortion or any degrading practices like you described in your post.

You might as well skip church wedding because you don't believe in religion.
Also skip court wedding because you don't care about the legal system.

where does all this even fit into

That's what they all say, but come time for that, they are nowhere to be heard.
Most of you just keep quiet when the time to talk or oppose this comes.

You are also the ones who say things like "I can't help him pay my brideprice/list/etc", all of a sudden forgetting your equality gospel when it is time for it to benefit anyone but yourselves.

Carry go abeg.
Women abound every in the world with more sane cultures.

PS: I am personally not against cooking for the wife. But the only way there will be that kind of equality in the home is if it begins FROM THE START, and there is something of a mutual agreement. Not that one lazy person is busy shifting the goal post every minute just so they can have their way.

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by brownlord: 2:23am On Mar 26, 2015
cococandy:


What a question.
If you don't want to go the girl's village to perform marriage rites meaning you are saying you want to cohabit without marriage.


No I won't agree to that.
You have to do marriage rite/ceremony to be considered married.
No I don't suport the guy being fleeced or put under extortion or any degrading practices like you described in your post.

You might as well skip church wedding because you don't believe in religion.
Also skip court wedding because you don't care about the legal system.

where does all this even fit into

Trying to play smart.

So the west do your "marriage rite" abi?

Why must I travel to the girls village before we can get married?

So you agree you must travel to your village (you may never have visited all your life before you can get married ) but you get to the man's house and forget you ever came from a village and start claiming western culture. No be so?

If I come to your house and see your parents and siblings, telling them of my intention, what other marriage rite do you need in the village?

And just a question.

The traditional and court marriage which is more recognised?
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by adconline(m): 2:29am On Mar 26, 2015
joanana:
I don't accept flings in my relationship. If he's with me, he should be with me alone and no else. # one man one woman

I rather remain single than become someone mistress. Tufiakwa!! !!! ! wink
Better get that in writing from your guy or it's not implied
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by cococandy(f): 2:39am On Mar 26, 2015
You got an answer that floored your funny question and all you could think of is 'playing smart'

Both traditional and court marriage are equally recognized. Just get proof of either one.

Cooking for you wife has nothing to do with following western culture.
If you know anything about western culture (which by the way can't be described as one since there are various hundreds of nations in the west)
You will know that some of them practiced the worst forms of female suppression but saw the light and decided to move on for their own development.
Anytime anyone says something that sounds progressive, folks like you term it western culture.
Is it an abomination for african culture to be known for something good?

Helping you partner(wife) has nothing in principle to do with western culture but It has everything to do with growing up, being responsible and knowing when to pitch in for the general good of everyone involved.

brownlord:


Trying to play smart.

So the west do your "marriage rite" abi?

Why must I travel to the girls village before we can get married?

So you agree you must travel to your village (you may never have visited all your life before you can get married ) but you get to the man's house and forget you ever came from a village and start claiming western culture. No be so?

If I come to your house and see your parents and siblings, telling them of my intention, what other marriage rite do you need in the village?

And just a question.

The traditional and court marriage which is more recognised?
cool

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Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by erudean: 2:45am On Mar 26, 2015
MizMyColi:
cheesy

I refuse the ministry of a side chickgrin

When someone wants to be with you, nothing can keep them away! When they don’t, nothing can make them stay! Don’t waste your life being tolerated and not celebrated! - Paula White
Story! Why not "Paula Black"

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by jerumax: 3:20am On Mar 26, 2015
itops:


I NO FIGHT.O, it just got to me that most of you men jump at topics like this to give selfish reasons why you should remain eternal cheats.

now my point is, our forefathers as you stated out and have been congratulated with 2 bottles of orijin are definately not older than GOD our creator who from creation , created just EVE FOR ADAM..if God sactions our forefathers attitude of subjecting women to household appliances by marrying as many wives as they like, why did he not add MARY AND ELIZABETH TO ADAM at creation when he (GOD) gave EVE TO ADAM.

i hate it when men thinks they are wiser than GOD.



Owliver:
is it the same God worshiped by king solomon?

Solomon destroyed his destiny because of the number of women he married.

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Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by totoakins(m): 3:30am On Mar 26, 2015
mollysteeze:
Over the years, in what is a total paradigm shift from the values a lot of our mothers had (well at least some), the "other woman" has now become tolerable. I am not sure when along the way it happened, and no one remembered to send me a memo but it appears to now be the norm.

I always have some nagging urge to blatantly say "No babe, it is downright unacceptable", when my friends broach me on this subject, but you end up being the friend who likes to break up homes because she's not married yet. People say if I was in those shoes I would feel differently.

Well Maybe.

However, no matter how much shame I would feel, I knew myself before I got married, my values remain my values, knowing my self-worth is what shapes every corner of my life and that is the core of me. To change now or later would be to deny who I have been for 26 years. While I am never an advocate for divorce, I have realized people do not change overnight.

A year back, my friend's boyfriend told her he was confused who to pick between her and two other girlfriends. Well she fought for "her man". Trouble is today they are married, and he's still seeing one of the other girls, who he has now rented an apartment for in Nigeria, and he's here half the year.

I've realised, the people who complain about there husbands or fiance throwing some other woman in their face mostly had an inkling they were cheats while they were dating. They were the ones who fought of five other girls to get their man. But the question is, if when you were dating there were five of you, why do you think today he would be satisfied with one. I have no doubt in my mind, everyone has an idea of things their partners are capable of in their subconscious, the trouble is a lot of us convince ourselves to believe some other truth that better suits our wants.

My mama has taught me, life is too short to jump into something you can't tolerate all your life, the sole reason for sharing your life with someone and giving up your freedom should be because they make you happier than anyone else in the world. Do not compromise your values or one day you would wish you had not.

But then, on the flip side, if you like smelling some other girls perfume on your man and having your kids run into daddy and "Aunty Bintan, the side chick" at the hotel near their school then go right ahead.
there has always been the other woman after all our fore father's always had several wife's so women shouldn't be so surprised

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Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by dBard: 3:38am On Mar 26, 2015
HizMissy:


mister, dont make hasty generalizations. Not all faithful guys are poor, ugly and boring.
how can one guy be ugly, boring, and poor? jeez! BTW, you sound like its your right to cheat.



Don't mind d teat.
Guys who can't control their penis always end up making ridiculous generalization to justify their position.
Fyi, it's Your choice to cheat or not, at the end , it'll still be ur cross alone to bear
There are thousands,albeit millions of rich TDH guys out there who have achieved the most admirable quality in a man, the control of their emotions/hormones/self.
If u choose to be one of the dick controlled peeps out there, No p..But StOp generalizing.

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