Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria - Romance (2)

Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria (5356 Views)

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Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 4:43am On Apr 05, 2015

Ipledge:
you too much free time,since she knows he is igbo,he can go look for him at Abakaliki

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 4:43am On Apr 05, 2015

Igbowife1:
Anambra. In his fathers house but parents deceased. I never met them.

~ By western, do you mean European?

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by ronald4lif(m): 4:44am On Apr 05, 2015

Raiders:
Nice one bro. I know you are not trying to ruin anyones marriage but just giving advice based on the general facts.

Anyway, I do read most of your comments on the romance section and you are one of the guys I admire most on the romance section because of your great advices. Keep up the good work bro.

Much respect to you, Sir.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 4:46am On Apr 05, 2015

Fairgodwin:
Well, to be very honest with you, you have every right to be worried. I am a Nigerian, 'a good one,' but for your HUSBAND not to have at least 5 (not so good) minutes to call you, his WIFE daily no matter how busy , it definitely speaks volume.

@Bold
are you trying to say you can call your wife for at least 5 minutes daily if you were living apart? Joker

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Fairgodwin(m): 4:50am On Apr 05, 2015

Darkrebel666:
@Bold
are you trying to say you can call your wife for at least 5 minutes daily if you were living apart? Joker

Bros, "5 minutes daily?" Your WIFE? Haba! I can and should DEFINITELY DO MORE THAN THAT!

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 4:50am On Apr 05, 2015

Darkrebel666:
@Bold
are you trying to say you can call your wife for at least 5 minutes daily if you were living apart? Joker

Actually that's what couples do when away from each other for a short while. A call at the beginning or end of the day daily or every second day is the minimum standard.

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Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 4:56am On Apr 05, 2015

BluIvy:
Actually that's what couples do when away from each other for a short while. A call at the beginning or end of the day daily or every second day is the minimum standard.

~ Easier said than done..

That's what all couples living far apart agree to do, but then they get tired..
You can't expect a man who runs a very tedious business from dawn to dusk to always call his wife everyday.. After the exertion of energy plus stress..even the wife must surely be very busy too.
They are not teenagers but mature adults and they know that is time wasting...

The most reasonable thing is to call on weekends..if possible - Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
They can talk for 3 hours if they want then

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Igbowife1(op): 5:13am On Apr 05, 2015

Yes thank you, I'm looking for advice from people who may have had this experience, where their husband hasn't been as attentive and how I can reason with him. How I can understand him and him understand me. If this is not the kind of conversation that I'm supposed to have on the forum , sorry I did not realise. Thank you all.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Igbowife1(op): 5:17am On Apr 05, 2015

No I'm Not not Europe.
We have 10 hour time difference. When I'm awake he's sleeping. When I'm sleeping he's working.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by SkinnyDude(m): 7:16am On Apr 05, 2015

ireneony:
your husband have a wife in Nigeria.
shikena! take it or leave it!

home breaker!
that's why your type hardly get married.
ndi amusu!

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by biafranqueen: 7:37am On Apr 05, 2015*

Igbowife1:
I might be stupid but I actually done think he's in another relationship. I came to this website for advice on how to communicate with my husband and to understand he's situation better. He is in Nigeria building a massive business for our future. I know this is fact. I know he is busy and very stressed. But when he doesn't call me I get stressed. I call him, I'm upset with him, I tell him, he gets upset with me and we never haveenjoyable conversations. Before he leaves we talk and ge promises he will make an effort but as soon as he goes East everything changes. He's too busy, too tired. No network, can't charge his phone, he's drivung or it's just too noisy because he's in the town. I was hoping other people had this experience and found a way to understand each other and get their partner to make an appropriate effort. I actually know my husband loves me. He's kind and generous. I just can't get him to be kind and generous when he's busy and stressed.
Thanks for all your comments as I'm prepared to hear anything that will give me insight into understanding my love.

My husband spends a lot of time in Nigeria on business as well the last trip was 6 months. Do you guys What's App because calling abroad is expensive? Do you have children with him? Are you supporting his business with your work earnings? How would you rate your attractiveness are you in shape? What is the age difference? Did he have citizenship before meeting you? You mentioned he was married before where is thesons mother?I have a lot of experience with this Is why I ask these questions so I can understand the situation if you explain more I will tell you how to get to the bottom of this.

From what I have read thus far is he in full hustle mode

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 7:44am On Apr 05, 2015

^^^^^ a good way to approach it. my comment got wiped due to network. but i am dissappointed with some of the "advice" given here.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by pasqal09: 7:54am On Apr 05, 2015

krall:
^^^^^ a good way to approach it. my comment got wiped due to network. but i am dissappointed with some of the "advice" given here.

I knew you'd never disappoint to be disappointing

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Igbowife1(op): 8:09am On Apr 05, 2015

Thank you all. Interesting debate.

The calls are not expensive from me to him and when he calls I call him back. Yes we have whats app but he doesn't use its. He's not good with technology he's also not very literate.

no we don't have children yet but we are desperate to have one. But he also needs to make money so he's working on his business fast.

Yes I support him but not so much with money these days early on in our relationship I spent lots of $ supporting but now he's able to support himself. He also now helps me with the bills.

i am pretty and not in the best shape but I am in the same shape as when we met.

We are the same age.

He has got perm residence since he came to my country. No citizenship. He's not interested.

He was not married to the mother of his son. She's in a different city to when he is. He never sees her and does not speak fondly of her.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 8:12am On Apr 05, 2015

^^^^ the chances are great that he will never see you agaim in the near future as he did the woman.
goodluck

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by ihedinobi2: 8:23am On Apr 05, 2015

Igbowife1, I remember you from the other monicker. You were here sometime last year (or was it the year before?) about the same guy, right? I don't remember clearly what the issue was then but I was on that thread.

Please, understand that there aren't many jobs as tasking as building a company or business. Your husband sounds exactly like I would expect someone in the birthing or nascent stage of a business would sound to me. And there really are network problems even in the more urban areas of Nigeria.

I don't do very well with maintaining relationships with my own work and I haven't even got to the mad busy side of business-building. And there was a time before now when I seemed unavailable to my then girlfriend because of my work. So, he isn't necessarily lying to you.

All the same, he should really put in more effort to call you. It's not nice to go so long without talking to one's own wife. Still, don't let the suspicions become the driving force behind any actions you take. That won't take you anywhere good.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Igbowife1(op): 8:32am On Apr 05, 2015

No I only joined the forum today.
As I said before, I maybe silly, but he's never given me any reason to think he's with anyone else but if I'm wrong I'll be shocked. I just want advice on what I can do to get him to call me more often. He's a good, hard working, determined man.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 8:37am On Apr 05, 2015

ireneony:
your husband have a wife in Nigeria.
shikena! take it or leave it!

*Has

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Igbowife1(op): 8:42am On Apr 05, 2015

Headlamp1:
*Has

Ok so how do I find out? If this is true I need to find out and catch him. Thank you

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 9:42am On Apr 05, 2015

Igbowife1:
Ok so how do I find out? If this is true I need to find out and catch him. Thank you

No don't get me wrong. I was correcting her grammar, has nothing to do with you.

As regards your issue there was a time I just began my career and I was too busy. Nigeria, mostly the urban areas can prove to be rather stressful sometimes because of infrastructural deficit. I used to work around the clock and got home late in the night. My girlfriend would not understand why I didn't always want to be on the phone at night chanting lovey dovey greetings. I would rather eat and go straight to bed. It put a strain on our relationship. She felt I wasnt there enough or didnt care.

Give your husband time. Nothing has suggested he has a wife in Nigeria. I fully understand his plight. You need to discuss with him and both of you should work out a convinient plan on contacting each other. You should have a particular time of the day. Not in the noon or morning when work is at top gear (except its absolutely important). I prefer late night, like 11pm Nigerian time. Spend like 30 mins with each other on phone. Make it brief because he may be tired. Then at weekends you can spend as much time as your minutes allow.

Husbands and wives really should not have a communication gap.

Conclusion: Understanding! Don't push it or bug him with phone calls at unnecessary times. Work it out with him.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Igbowife1(op): 10:30am On Apr 05, 2015

Husbands and wives really should not have a communication gap.

Conclusion: Understanding! Don't push it or bug him with phone calls at unnecessary times. Work it out with him.[/quote]I appreciate you comment and take it as my situation. I try not to push but if I contunially accept his excuses of being too busy too tired, it may become normal and thanks a normal I don't want. I support him by "letting" him go to do this work but he's supposed to understand the stain this puts in how I feel and be grateful that I support him going. I am trying to work it out and we had a complete agreement and understanding before he left but he's not keeping his part of the agreement and I don't know how to get him back in the right track for the sake of our happiness. Thanks!

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 11:50am On Apr 05, 2015

@igbowife be careful the kind of advice you're getting from here, some are from devil's incarnate especially from the ladies. the kind of business that your husband is about to start and the running around that's involved can be the cause of this, sometimes a man can get so worked up, stressed out and other things that he sometimes forgets the most important person or people in his life I'm telling you from experience, it does happen. be patient and find a way to sort it out with him without pointing fingers or blames at him. this is your marriage don't ruin it or cause a problem between you and your hubby because of the instigations and mind poisoning that you are getting from these sad mofokas because at the end of the day ITS YOUR MARRIAGE not theirs and when shit hits the fan you will go through it alone with NONE of this crazy mofokas. Be careful and prayerful, these are the things that are involved in marriage my dear. Happy Easter. cheers.

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Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:03pm On Apr 05, 2015*

SkinnyDude:
home breaker!
that's why your type hardly get married.
ndi amusu!

Don't mind the useless pack of meat, I bet she got squished bananas for brain for typing such clueless, unreasonable comment. Most foolish'girls are known to be throwing such advice, well I bet she has never engaged in a job that requires so much focus that at a time one forgets about other very important things I.e if she works, bet she's the telemundo series watching bittch (JUDGING from her opinion) .@ireneony if you have experienced the hard work that is involved in running or starting a NEW business or company then your brain would have had the intellect to analyze a situation before typing shiiiiii and frankly I say fk u bittch . #StuupidBittch

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by MrsChima(f): 12:49pm On Apr 05, 2015

Fairgodwin:
Well, to be very honest with you, you have every right to be worried. I am a Nigerian, 'a good one,' but for your HUSBAND not to have at least 5 (not so good) minutes to call you, his WIFE daily no matter how busy, it definitely speaks volume.
Please I'm not trying to 'spoil' your marriage or ask you to start 'suspecting' him, but I'm definitely telling you it's either your husband has a wife in Nigeria or planning to get one. Please you do not have to take my comment seriously, I was only speaking my mind and being logical, as the [right thinking] human I was supposed to be.

No..you are definitely correct. I am willing to bet he didn't have his papers before they married.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by MrsChima(f): 12:56pm On Apr 05, 2015

Igbowife1:
I have been to Nigeria and met his family. He's sister lives in my country too. I don't believe he has another family. I don't believe he is or has cheated but I am obviously worried.

Come on girl! You think he will introduce you to his village wife?!! Buhahhhhhha. Sorry! There is no devoted husband nowhere in the WORLD that doesn't have time to call HIS WIFE unless he is BUSY with another chick/wife.

You can't even get a solid 10 minutes is a red flag and why is he visiting Nigeria frequently? Many Nigerians in America have businesses back home and often time have a trusted friend or family to oversee the business until they come for holiday but it too much even twice a year!

Hmmm. Good luck on the pain!

2 Likes

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by MrsChima(f): 1:03pm On Apr 05, 2015

Ipledge:
I dont believe the moniker,i hate seeing these things...my yoruba husband,my igbo husband

Hmmm. It is a trend brewing....maybe a tribal war?

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by MrsChima(f): 1:07pm On Apr 05, 2015

Raiders:
I am not going to make any assumption till I get the facts. You should be careful the kind of advise you give here. Besides how do you know that the husband has a 2nd wife or girlfriend. There could be tons of reason why he could not call. I just hate it when people like you stereotype Nigerian men with foreign wives.

Opinions or advice doesn't destroy marriage but the 2 people in it. If she or he is cheating or being abusive...the marriage itself is shaken...to destroy a marriage is 2 people not fighting or working hard to maintain their marriage.

A stranger word can't kill something that is already dead!

2 Likes

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by MrsChima(f): 1:20pm On Apr 05, 2015

Igbowife1:
I might be stupid but I actually done think he's in another relationship. I came to this website for advice on how to communicate with my husband and to understand he's situation better. He is in Nigeria building a massive business for our future. I know this is fact. I know he is busy and very stressed. But when he doesn't call me I get stressed. I call him, I'm upset with him, I tell him, he gets upset with me and we never haveenjoyable conversations. Before he leaves we talk and ge promises he will make an effort but as soon as he goes East everything changes. He's too busy, too tired. No network, can't charge his phone, he's drivung or it's just too noisy because he's in the town. I was hoping other people had this experience and found a way to understand each other and get their partner to make an appropriate effort. I actually know my husband loves me. He's kind and generous. I just can't get him to be kind and generous when he's busy and stressed.
Thanks for all your comments as I'm prepared to hear anything that will give me insight into understanding my love.

How can we help you communicate with someone WE DONT KBOW huh

It is bullshit to what you said...if you didn't think there is an issue...you wouldn't have asked complete strangers for anything!

If the only concern you have is not getting a daily call from your hsuband...then YOU WOULD HAVE CONTACTED HIS FAMILY IN NIGERIA!

It is your life but cut the bullshit seriously!

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Igbowife1(op): 1:21pm On Apr 05, 2015

MrsChima:
No..you are definitely correct. I am willing to bet he didn't have his papers before they married.

He did have papers in Europe where we met. But then we met and we wanted to be together. So instead of staying in Europe with his papers that's inly a 7 hour flight from nija, he came to live with me and has to fly 24 hours to get to his country. He doesn't have European papers anymore so he needs a visa to go to Europe.

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by MrsChima(f): 1:25pm On Apr 05, 2015

BluIvy:
Dear Missy, you know I used to think people in the family section of NL were cruel or cold when they deal hashly with people who come with such stories. But you know what after reading this i cannot hide my irritation as well.

People on this section will try and help you open your eyes but if they see you really like your dark place, they will leave you to it. So you need to be sure of what exactly you want to find out when you come here.

First of all, if you think him not calling doesn't mean he has another wife as suggested why are you in this forum about such a minor issue? Why not wait for him to come back again and ask why he is not making time to call you after all the discussions you had?

Secondly, do you want Nigerians or other Igbos to lie to you and tell you there are no phones in Igboland or their culture doesn't allow calls or its normal for igbo man to act like that when he's home bla bla bla or something ridiculous like that?

Do you go to forums about your small domestic issues like these all the time?

You say he would not be married as he has been in Europe for over ten years but you also mention he goes home often i guess that could be yearly or so, right? Just because you would not have a husband who sees you once a year you assume other women would also not agree to that? Right?

If you trust your husband and his family this much why are you not asking them why he doesn't call? Or better yet ask them to call him and get him to call you?

Why come to a forum of strangers who cannot even call or locate your husband rather than his family?

You know what I think? Deep down you know something is not right but you need strangers to tell you otherwise.

I had a friend who did the samething atleast she was not married and didn't know the guys family, she would put up one excuse after another but deep down she knew what was up.

My advise to you is, go ask his family and be satisfied with whatever response you get until he comeback to answer for himself. If and only if you are still not convinced you can comeback for real advise on how to find information about your husband marital status elsewhere.

Damn! I didn't see this before I composed my last post. I am glad others sensed bullshit too!

Re: Igbo Husband Doesn't Contact Me When He's In Nigeria by Fairgodwin(m): 1:26pm On Apr 05, 2015

MrsChima:
No..you are definitely correct. I am willing to bet he didn't have his papers before they married.

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