Read your story. I felt sorry for you. Just be strong and take life as vanity.

Are u sure you have not dated a married man? Cuz that thing is like a curse. It will come back hunt you.

You see many house wifes crying public about how their husbands cheated with girls outside. They suddenly become saints when they marry and all men become dogs.

They will forget about their past.

As for me. I will cheat my woman cuz I know 99% of them date married men.

All single ladies in my company date oga at the top/married men.

I will do it. Let the cycle continue.

Except she is a virgin sha.

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

Bad girl


Baddoooo

Sorry dear don't kill yourself o. Chai okunrin!! I fear una!

SexyCeline:
May God deliver us from irresponsible men. Amen

and women too...AMEN! !

Always pray about it n tell him about it too....n u should try to entice him sexually..know wat he likes ... possess ur possession

I JUST CANT IMAGINE WOMEN SAY YOUR HUSBAND SINE ANOTHER KONGO U WAN KILL URSELF INSTEAD OF ASKING YOURSELF HOW COME YOU ALLOWED HIM DO IT


YOU CAN COMIT SUICIDE BUT PLS DONT KILL YOURSELF

Confront him abt it. Don't raise ur voice....try to be reasonable with him. Cry for him and beg him to change for you and ur kids. I'm sure the Lord will change him for you. Never stop praying for him

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

I disagree with you as the op only want to overcome her emotional trauma. Getting back at him the way you suggested, to me, is not the best way to achieve that.
Obviously, you are not married yet, so you equate boyfriends and husbands.

Dear Sis, calm down. Killing itself is never a solution, but a pure way to hell, and the opportunity for ur hubby. Try to c God fearing counsellor to share ur prob with, let it be a woman who is child of God. See her often, before u know it u will get over it. Shalom

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

what an advice?

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

You mean she should also cheat? Are you sane?

kweenkong:
@op i feel for you but you need to look at the bigger picture and that picture includes your children. You obviously married a cheat and its really sad . Stop having a pity party by yourself you cant undo the past you can only resolve to live better.

Did you have a discussion with your husband about it?
What was his reasons?
Your marriage needs a lot of hardwork to get over this, couselling and most importantly prayers.

But SUCIDE is never an option.

Really? Reasons for cheating

OP I commiserate with you. Suicide is definitely not the way. Cry, be depressed, get fat but not suicide.

First go for a vacation maybe two weeks and just be on your own. You'd know what's best after that.

Keep your family out of it for now, they will certainly escalate the issues. After the vacation, trust me you'd know who and how to involve your family and other steps.

Then qo on dear... Am sure d devil will qive u resoundinq... Slap... Wen u reached hell...

Stories like this makes one to wonder WTF

Seriously OP, Most men will cheat if they have the opportunity.

Especially if they got a comfortable lifestyle going for them.

As for the pain, well it will pass, it always does.

One thing u must know is that, this experience will change you forever. How it does is up to you.

A cheating man/woman is not a reward for anything done in the past.
It is just a function of the selfish human nature.

Cheating on him will not solve the problem, it will only justify why he cheated.

You have a legal and biblical ground to divorce him, and if you can brace up to the challenges then leave him, but make
sure it's your decision to leave not because your family wants you to.

If you decide to stay, then you must also decide to forgive him whole heartedly, and keep loving him, otherwise from
here forward that home will not know peace.

So my candid opinion is FORGIVE him or LEAVE him. I know they are both difficult choices but welcome to REALITY.

I typed someting before I read the whole text, and someone already quoted me before I went around to change it. What I have to say is that, girls should stop nosing around their husband's phones, it always reveals what they can't handle. The bitter truth is, it is very hard for a man to stay faithful all through his married life...but most times, it is just for sexual satisfaction, nothing more...And it is sometimes just a phase that passes.


To you OP, just take it easy. Occupy yourself with romance movies with happy endings, and just try and convince yourself that everything is okay. It will be hard at first, but it will get better. Trust me, it will get better.

Divert all that negative energy into something worthwhile: starting work will be a very good place to start.

Abstain from sex right now and get tested 4 months later to be sure you're free from any STI.

Stop acting like a spoon-fed baby! Brace up and face the hard facts of life; its never rosy, anywhere. Protect yourself, be alive for your children, they should be the only thing keeping you going for now.

YOU NEED TO BE STRONG FOR THEM!

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

Stupidity at its peak

Commit sucide he will re marry,
you think he will mourn for you or he will feel guilty, that's wishful thinking oh!
live your life

nickibarb:
Please help me. I'm drowning.

I am feeling very depressed right now. My marriage has been mainly peaceful and chaos free. I did my part, cared for my husband, cooked for him, was available to satisfy his sexual needs 24/7, prayed for him, dressed like I did when we were dating, kept my body in tiptop shape even after 2 babies via c/s, everyone around me testifies to that both men and women.

In the wee hours of sunday morning, I was playing around with his phone cause i couldn't sleep. I realised he had WHATSAPP and BBM apps, it was surprising cause I had tried to get him to download them repeatedly so we can send pics to each other but he refused. He said he wasn't interested in them, so I deleted mine. Like every curious cat, I wanted to see what he was up to on it since he didn't tell me that he had finally downloaded it.

I saw that he had been flirting with almost 10 different girls, had met up with some, given money to a lot of them (even though our finances have not been in tiptop shape, but i've been persevering cause I know it is temporary - I have a great job offer with a N200k salary post-nysc but they are not ready for me to resume work yet, so I have no income for now). Before I digress too much, the chat that hurt me the most was a girl who asked my husband to be sending her N30k a month or week, i'm not sure again (my eyes were blurred with tears), and then whenever he needs her, he should just tell her which hotel to check into. Funny enough, they all know he is married with kids, they even ask him about his baby in the course of their chat. Another one that broke my heart was a girl he asked to arrange 15 girls for a political event being hosted by his older politician friend and the girls should be ready to provide TLC for them afterwards. From the messages, it was clear that he slept with this particular girl after that event because she reminded him that the money she received is not a replacement for the one he is supposed to give her (i'm guessing after a previous sexcapade).

I am so heartbroken, I don't know what to do. I feel like I gave my marriage my all, I followed all the rules of a good wife, I read books, i don't know what I could have done differently. My husband told me everyday how much he was in love with me for the 2 years we dated prior to marriage (we've been married 2 years and 6 months). I saw no trait of promiscuity in him. I trusted him 100% so I never policed him concerning his whereabouts (it's not really in my nature to be like that). I never saw this betrayal coming so it has been very difficult for me to deal with this. I had an emotional breakdown on sunday night when he went for a meeting with the new governor of our state (he is related to him). He came home at midnight to see me unconscious. I woke up in a hospital, apparently I had overdosed on pills. At that time, I wanted to die to get away from my life, but now I didn't die, i'm happy he came home in time to rescue me. I mean he could have easily stayed out all night because it was a special day (post-inauguration celebration). I don't know how I could have thought of leaving my two little kids less that 2 years old. This man has made me CRAZY. If my family hears about this suicidal attempt, they will make me leave him immediately. My fear is, what happens to my little kids, I don't want another woman to come and maltreat them. We were legally married but not in Nigeria. I don't know if Nigerian courts would recognise our marriage certificate. I don't want to lose my kids. I feel like God has allowed a trial too great for me to handle to come my way. I feel like he over-rated my strength. I am just 27. Isn't it too soon for me to face this kind of life challenge? God knows I married this man out of love, not for money, my parents tried their best for me. They sent me abroad, that's where I met my husband, I didn't even know his family in Nigeria was relatively well-to-do. Some people say if your husband cheats on you, it's nemesis for what you did to other women's husbands. God knows I am innocent. I have tried to find out why my husband who says he loves me everyday, will go out of his way to flirt with girls and sleep with them, (it's not like it's all of them that are coming on to him, he is actually doing most of the chasing). He cannot give me a reason for it, he is just begging me to let it go. I have tried but I'm still hurting, i'm still obsessing about it. How can I heal? I don't want to die and leave my children. How can I stop this pain that is eating me up?

I have read all the articles I can find online about how to get past a cheating husband, it doesn't seem to help. I asked my husband if he used a condom and if I need to go and check for STDs. He is not able to answer me directly but says we can both go and get checked out. I feel like God has forsaken me and I don't deserve it. I have tried to be a good girl all my life. I need this pain in my heart to stop. I need to be sane again.

Ur husband is an End time husband. 10 girls? And he is not sure if he used condom all the times The thunder that will fire that ur husband eh, is in Sango's shrine receiving tutorials

kay29000:
Better relax...There is no husband that wont cheat. Even pastors cheat, so she better relax.

You're the one going around nairaland advertising drugs for penn!s enlargement and prolonged sex baa? No wonder, are all your clients cheating husbands?

Your comment is pathetic, VERY PATHETIC!

Op you need to talk to someone / family, especially your mum. Don't suffer in silence all depressed.
Talk to your mum because your are not stable right now to take any decision.
You need to Consider your children and those that love you next time before hurting yourself.
I hope things get better no one is indispensable

bellong:

In all, please do not commit suicide. Committing suicide doesn't solve any problem, it only creates more for others.


I am sorry, I have no idea how to manage a cheating husband. My concern is that you shouldn't commit suicide.

Those kids are too young. I empathize with you and I hope you get peace and succour again from the union.


Although I don't know what you want us to do but believe that we can offer you counsel if need be.

I am sorry for your pain and travail. Pls do not commit suisuicide. Are you a Christian? If yes, pls see your pastor (with your husband if possible) for a counselling session. You will be surprised how God will heal your wound. First step though is to forgive your husband and continue to be the good wife and mother that you are.

I wish I could play a musical instrument,
I would have made you some jazzy tunes,
I wish I knew words that could move you to love me more,
I would have made you the best rythmn and blue,
I wish I was a poet who could write words Angels can only imagine,
I would have written words with wings to fly you to the land of your fantasy:
i am not a singer but with your powerful voice, we can do a timeless duet,
I don't need musical instruments, your laughter is all it takes to make my day,
and why should I be poet,
when with simple words I can tell you the truth, the whole truth, that with you, life is paradise on earth.
http://ayietim.

proxillin:
Read your story. I felt sorry for you. Just be strong and take life as vanity.

Are u sure you have not dated a married man? Cuz that thing is like a curse. It will come back hunt you.

You see many house wifes crying public about how their husbands cheated with girls outside. They suddenly become saints when they marry and all men become dogs.

They will forget about their past.

As for me. I will cheat my woman cuz I know 99% of them date married men.

All single ladies in my company date oga at the top/married men.

I will do it. Let the cycle continue.

Except she is a virgin sha.

I no of virgins who their husband's are chronic cheats and the ones that cannot give birth. What sin are they paying for? The grace of God is sufficient for everybody. That grace is what makes a prostitute marry a pastor. We all have different level of grace.

SexyCeline:
May God deliver us from irresponsible men. Amen

and irresponsible women too cos those irresponsible men cannot necessarily be gay.

[s][/s]

tonychristopher:
I JUST CANT IMAGINE WOMEN SAY YOUR HUSBAND SINE ANOTHER KONGO U WAN KILL URSELF INSTEAD OF ASKING YOURSELF HOW COME YOU ALLOWED HIM DO IT


YOU CAN COMIT SUICIDE BUT PLS DONT KILL YOURSELF

F9 for you if you are in secondary school, F for you if you are in higher institution and below average rating for you in other categories.

i will advice you to be calm, take a deep breath and ask God for direction, Mean while, keep praying for him. Marriage is for better for worst. No man is perfect. Keep loving him for the sake of your kids so they wont sence the problem going on. He will realise and change. In as much as you try changing him with all the action and reaction, no one can change human only God can change and touch ones mind and heart for a better change within a seconds.

Suicide is not an option. You need to have a 1-2-1 with your husband, have yourself checked out medically and after the heart 2 heart, you would know the direction and where his heart stays.
Goodluck and remain sane.

I am sorry for your pain and travail. Pls do not commit suisuicide. Are you a Christian? If yes, pls see your pastor (with your husband if possible) for a counselling session. You will be surprised how God will heal your wound. First step though is to forgive your husband and continue to be the good wife and mother that you are.

Before I even opened this thread, I checked your profile and saw your other thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/2309230/ive-been-combing-consciencewas-wrong


The signs were there.
All the best.

I guess you except him to be exactly what you are to him. But unfortunately dear, not all men are like that.
Train yourself not to expect too much from any man. Know that all those fantasies happens only in your head, but in real life, nothing is ever that sweet or rosy. Comfort yourself with the fact that he's even making an effort to deceive you, some don't, especially after two kids.
And forgive him everyday because of cos, he's a complete i.diot!