₦airaland Forum

kay29000:
Hmm! So your bestfriend is a guy? That's interesting.

Ishilove:
@Oraculus,

You're a good writer, BTW. I was captured by this line

"when the loneliness takes a humanoid form and glares at me over my shoulders"

It's so poetic and the imagery, startling... at least for me. Absolutely lovely.

anonymousey:
Hmm. I know what you're talking about. I feel you. I've been there.
I chose success in one area above success in the matters of the heart. I've had to rethink my strategy. I am trying to find a way to meet people and BE HUMAN. I've largely forgotten how to.
My poems have been my only companion day and night. www.thetravelerpoems.
I believe that someday soon I will find that someone that makes it all worth it.
I believe you can too. One way, I think, is to find a place where the kind of girl you'd like to be with gather and go often. Meet people in a relatively neutral environment and develop relationships and friendships. Eventually you'll probably find that one you don't want to live without.
I wish you success on this journey just as I wish myself the same. Remember to smile often and let yourself go. Let yourself live and be happy. There's no point living if you can't enjoy life and that has little to do with what you have as much as how you choose you enjoy what you do have. It could have been worse but you are here anyway but not for long. You'll be happy again. Cheers!

softysparky:
Yes, and he is the best thing after sliced bread

kay29000:
Let me speak for myself...I might ramble a lil while trying to explain myself. The thing is, you give your all to your passion (business, writing...whatever that thing is that has made you a success, or on the road to success), and you just don't have enough 'juice' left to really court/chase women. You want to, but your goal over-rides it. And when you really really need love/loving, you just feel you are incapable of just jumping into the dating ring like that, when you have not been doing any practicing like the average guy. You feel you would do/say the wrong thing. So, you settle for a girl with the list perceived resistance, which may not necessarily be your taste...and might just be like a short term thing, like a 'friend with benefit', cos you also don't want to commit to anyone...Cos you really really value your total freedom...cos you need that total freedom to keep succeeding at what you do.

Ishilove:
plaetton!

Oya lets do our own love. Are you successful?

texanomaly:
I agree with the bolded. Masterfully written. Do you write poetry?



Wow!! I've been going through your poetry. You are really good. If you want to meet others who enjoy poetry, join the NPC (Nairaland Poetry Club). We would love to have someone as talented as yourself.

Ishilove:
@Oraculus,

Eyah, how touching.

First things first, upload a profile picture.

Register with dating sites. There's no guarantee you will find your choice there, but you will have the experience of sifting through varied choices which in turn will boost your confidence.

Just be yourself, man. There's someone for everyone. I know this. Even if you're a geeky, anti-social person, there's a geeky anti-social woman somewhere going through what you're experiencing. You just need to be connected.

You can create a thread in the Dating and Meetup section, drop your contact details and let the searching sisters connect with you.

You're a good writer, BTW. I was captured by this line

"when the loneliness takes a humanoid form and glares at me over my shoulders"

It's so poetic and the imagery, startling... at least for me. Absolutely lovely.

kay29000:
That's cool. I admire the guy's self-control. I don't think I can handle being friendzoned by a sweet girl like you.

anonymousey:
Humbled you think my poetry is any good. It's just me trying to boil down the feelings into words others can read. Will try to find the club and do hope to meet some great people and friends. Would you be nice enough to drop a link please? Thank you.

Velocitron:
Put yourself out there is all I can say. Visit relatives, join local or church groups, go to naming parties, burials or whatever party you can find but make sure you surround yourself with the right people and not just anybody.

Desanta:
op I feel you. But I think your situation is even better than mine. My wife died several years ago and all I want is my late wife and nothing else. I 've seen a psychologist, a psychiatrist and even my priest without any improvement. Even with all the friends and relatives around me, I'm terribly lonely. I have had to decline some consultancy jobs, just because money means nothing when the only person you wish to spend it on, is gone. I have contributed to several foundations, orphanage homes, and helped a few strangers, but it hasn't changed the feeling. I have met several interesting people who would have been in to be with, but I already have a scale(my wife), for measuring; and as expected they never make a perfect replacement.
You will meet that person just don't put her on a scale. Let your heart lead you and have fun while at it. Search for a soul mate and not a perfect wife, which doesn't even exist.

plaetton:

Now you're talking.
Are you single ?

Ishilove:
Yes. Are you single too?

speak2jasmine:
This is so real, most times I feel so strange, loneliness is man's worst enemy . Need to get my love life back

plaetton:

Ehhm,ehhm, Let me take a raincheck on that.

But I am a successful crayfish seller o.

plaetton:

Now you're talking.
Are you single ?

plaetton:

Ehhm,ehhm, Let me take a raincheck on that.

But I am a successful crayfish seller o.

Oraculus:
There are these days.. days when my strength fail me... days when I arrange my successes - things I fought so hard to achieve - before myself and they don't make any atom of sense.

Days when the emptiness.. take this humanoid form, and glare at me over my shoulders... days in which getting the juice out fails to form any meaning.. no matter the inducement.. and then any effort at it becomes a labour in vain. Hmmmm,it happens. U aint alone.....such times though.........

Then you wish you had this just one person.. anybody..somebody.. better if it's the person u ever wanted but right there ur standing all by ur self and your successes with not a soul to share memories and moments with.

Then you imagine how others did it.. do it.

Then you want to regret all the sacrifices you made to get here but no you refuse cos they still seem worth it.. if only there was just this one person!

Then u remember that when others were socialising and bonding, you were serving compulsory solitude perfecting what seemed to be the most important then.

Now you want to be like others and you have no idea how it is done and again and again, you make effort at being someone's 'the one' but all they see is desperation, lack of wit and a machine.. yes! The machine you have conditioned yourself to be over the years efficient at everything except love

These lonely, cold and tiring nights make fun at you and enjoy how a well respected personality outside falls like a pack of cards inside especially at those times when u turn to ur body for gratification.

I have pain.. deep.. inner pain.. that I wear this nice smile to cover always or so I thought.. as recently, I have started thinking people see through me and visualise vividly the emptiness that lies inside..hmm the way they look at me.

Then I convince myself that they stare at me cos they're seeing this fine person.. that lame excuse does get me through that moment.

I look hard and wish I could see the future and see someone and be rest assured that it will happen.

Cos I have been like this day after day, week, weeks, month, months, year and years!!

And suddenly I realise how nice I have become to people but I wonder why it doesn't work .. probably cos they're seeing a 'nice machine'

I feel exhausted, and sometimes wonder why with my accomplishments I don't get someone walk up to me and make me feel needed

Ofcourse, i'm macho.. this is where I get to melt like ororo in hot frying pan.

Sometimes I try to settle for someone around the corner but that fighter in me refuses to.. prefering to stick to my 'old glory' of getting the best and what I feel I deserve.

Maybe I deserve the best.. yes.. but not the best 'the one'..

texanomaly:
Plaetton!!



Don't you fall for his tricks Ishi. I know I've seen him on a thread talking about his wife and kids.

Smh Plaetton...

plaetton:
Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert !

Ishilove:
See him. Polygamist

Swerve >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

And don't stop swerving

softysparky:
You don't hurt people you desire to see grow or develop.
You call it "friendzoning" we call it "true friendship" being able to do something for one another without expecting anything in return, do you have that particular someone you can bare it all without fear of judgement or negative criticism.

Admire my own self control jooor

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
Hmmm, quite tough but still it is a question with a simple answer. It is all about striking a balance. Successful people do have a rare ability of extricating/separating their social life from their vision,mission,goal(s), objectives. "Loneliness" is a term that a person creates in his/her imagination. I have never ever experience loneliness because i am always occupied with productive things to do. I know you are saying to yourself "now that i am successful, what next". You do not need a partner to cure your "loneliness" but rather than see having a life partner as someone that can assist you in achieving your vision. She must be on the same "track" with you. Trust me "the one" will come to you and u will know deep down that she is truly the one but before then keep on breaking more bounds and achieving more goals.

haul:
bros you spoke my mind,I don't just know how to keep a relationship,anytime I had sex believe me its from Friends with benefits, and I like it like that cuz it gives me focus.

haul:
bros you spoke my mind,I don't just know how to keep a relationship,anytime I had sex believe me its from Friends with benefits, and I like it like that cuz it gives me focus.

kay29000:
Hmm! I admire your self control too.

shanira:
Tell yourself these words "I'll be happy. Even if it hurts to try". Watch loads of comedies. Read fun, interesting books. Throw your energies in doing stuff that you love. Hang out with friends, relatives whose company simply enliven the atmosphere of your heart. Pray often. Have conversations with God about your emotions and hurts. Prayer is a wonderful anti-depressant.

And as for finding the one. Unrequited love can escalate feelings of loneliness. Are you deeply in love with anyone at the moment?

Or you're not but searching for that ultimate love? When it comes to matters of the heart, patience is everything. You can't settle for just anyone just because you're lonely or you'll end up in the wrong hands. Just focus on your passions, hobbies that bring you laughter and be on the look out for that eye contact that will change your life forever. Who knows? The one for you may well love you madly from a distance but you are yet to acknowledge her and she may well be too shy to approach you. Or maybe the time just isn't right yet for your missing rib to join with you. There are dozens of ladies out there that can warm your bed but only one that is made for you can warm your heart and love you as you are. And it is possible! You can come together. I'm sure she's somewhere waiting for you, wondering and praying that God should keep her man for her ; "You".


Be happy. Read. Socialize! Follow your passion. True love will unite with you when the time is divine!

kay29000:
Exactly!!! You can focus on your goals and not be bothered by the emotional baggage that comes with having a girlfriend.

plaetton:
Abeg, don't mind Tex.
Check out my irresistably handsome pic.