₦airaland Forum

mrwonlasewonie:
another Ruth abokoku

Don't know what u talking about but I've learnt to respect pple's wish as long as they're old enough to take decision.

ok


@ Op There is absolutely no reason why you should not want a great life.

You are totally awesome. Your friends always tell you what a great catch you are. But you have a problem. You’re still single. Not only are you single, you can’t see any good reason why you’re single.

All the bad boys and naughty girls are hooking up and getting married, and here you are: smart, working class, busy professional, relatively drama-free, and alone at night. Again!.

Now let’s look at it another way…

Imagine yourself having more people romantically interested in you. Imagine that special someone writing you back, accepting your offer of a first date, becoming your partner.

Sound good?


www.OnlyWorkingClass.com


Marry right and live a good life!



The premium dating site for working class singles, busy professionals and successful business people.

Shantelle80:
Hi everyone,

i'm a little discouraged and depressed these days.
I just turned 35, i'm 4 months pregnant and i'm single

I met a guy when i was 28 in my prayer circle, got engaged to him a year later only to find out few months afterward that he was bisexual at best. I was devastated when we broke up but i had this good friend who helped me and comforted through that mess.

We started dating a year later, time for me to heal and to realize that i actually liked him too. We dated for years before starting making plans. We talked marriage, babies, and buying an house. The relationship was so great, we were so compatible, i trusted him so much that when he said just start TTC before being legally married i accepted. I got pregnant and the very day i told him so, he said that he was not ready whatsoever, that i had to get an abortion and that if i didn't do so, we would be done and i would have to take responsibility alone. I was totally blindsided.

I couldn't get an abortion. So now here i am, having this baby alone and wondering why, why me ? What have i done wrong ? What have i done to deserve this ? The first break up i thought that was bad luck, i was deceived buy someone who seemed perfect on paper but twice ? Am i a bad person or just silly ?
I'm trying to focus on this baby to come but when i think about our future, it's so scary. I really want this child to have a father in his life but don't feel like it will ever happen.

Do you think, in all honesty that a 35+ yo single mother stands any chance to ever find a decent men to share her life with ?

You made a bad choice
Getting pregnant before marriage
And bad choices have consequences
You have made your mistake
Don't beat yourself up for something you can't help
please don't beg him
You don't beg for love
Have your baby
Take good care of him
Surround yourself with people that love you
I wish you the best

FrancisTony:
Oh really? So, marriage is your uptmost priority?

*Yawns* Next

the fact that its not your priority, doesn't give you the right to ridicule it. We are all different people with different problems/priorities

Shantelle80:
I'm sorry if i sound whining, marriage is not my upmost priority of course.
That would be my baby and i am focusing on him/her. Still, this may sound old school but i always pictured myself in a "traditionnal" way of life.
Starting a family with a man i love and who loves me, raising our children together. I never thought that i would be in this place at this point in my life.
Still i praise God for all his blessings. I'm healthy, my parents are too, i have a decent career, enough money to take care of myself and raise this child.
I'm just sad you know, just sad and dissapointed. Most of us need someone to share our lifes with, i know some people don't but i do.
I really hope that i will be able to find a good mate and bring a good paternal figure in my child's life.
As i look around though, it seems like i'm now out of the game. Most men won't date a single mom or a 35+ woman so a 35+ single mom...

Hey Shantelle80,
Be encouraged and don't stop keeping faith. My heart goes out to you.

Tashaamania:
Back to sender. It is very obvious your life has been frustrated by a woman. Dont come here to discourage others from getting married just because you're sad with your marriage.
No one here can help you, we don't care. Now hop along..Oniranu

seriously you have no idea, change that woman in your post to man

Shantelle80:
Hi everyone,

i'm a little discouraged and depressed these days.
I just turned 35, i'm 4 months pregnant and i'm single

I met a guy when i was 28 in my prayer circle, got engaged to him a year later only to find out few months afterward that he was bisexual at best. I was devastated when we broke up but i had this good friend who helped me and comforted through that mess.

We started dating a year later, time for me to heal and to realize that i actually liked him too. We dated for years before starting making plans. We talked marriage, babies, and buying an house. The relationship was so great, we were so compatible, i trusted him so much that when he said just start TTC before being legally married i accepted. I got pregnant and the very day i told him so, he said that he was not ready whatsoever, that i had to get an abortion and that if i didn't do so, we would be done and i would have to take responsibility alone. I was totally blindsided.

I couldn't get an abortion. So now here i am, having this baby alone and wondering why, why me ? What have i done wrong ? What have i done to deserve this ? The first break up i thought that was bad luck, i was deceived buy someone who seemed perfect on paper but twice ? Am i a bad person or just silly ?
I'm trying to focus on this baby to come but when i think about our future, it's so scary. I really want this child to have a father in his life but don't feel like it will ever happen.

Do you think, in all honesty that a 35+ yo single mother stands any chance to ever find a decent men to share her life with ?

Hi, 35 Yrs aint a bad deal..


am a product of Single parents, 20yrs ago, I bet u wen u av ur son u will. b happy ,, don't do d mistake of getting married to d wrong person, all my stay with my mom I never withness her being sad, she was happy b4 we relocated to our Home town in warri, Just focus on ur career or biz, d right man will. come at d right tym, nothing more then 2yrs from now ,, Mark My Words

tpiadotcom:
how many men are you referring to here?

btw, i'm sure this is a script, but you can prove me wrong if need be.

Now, let's assume the "so many" at your 25/26, were say four men. Then the "less educated ones", perhaps more than two or three. Lastly, the "equally educated ones" should be maybe two to five?

That's a number of between eight and twelve men, in about three years. If they all made excuses for not wanting to go further in the relationship (I assume this is fiction), then you should probably look beyond them for reasons.

Believe me or not, i have so much on my plate right now that i would not waste my time writing a script on nairaland for what purpose ?
I went out with 4 maybe 5 guys before i met my first boyfriend (the bi sexual one). we went on several dates because we clicked at some level. Then i would end up pretty quickly in the friend zone mainly because i didn't want to have sex right away. I became friend with most of them and after a while asked them why it didn't work out. This is how i got my answers. They said they thought from day 1 that it would not be it for the reason i told you guys.
I'm not immodest enough to think that i have no responsability in my relationship failures. I made poor choices for sure and may be i'm not affectionate or passionate or sexually driven enough. May be i have several other flaws but i'm not a bad person. All in all, i'm not a bad person and i didn't deserve to be deceived and betrayed twice.

I know i made a bad decision getting pregnant before being married, believe me, i know.
I made many bad decisions actually starting with picking the wrong guy twice.
I'm still learning valuable lessons, everyday.

Shantelle80:
I know i made a bad decision getting pregnant before being married, believe me, i know.
I made many bad decisions actually starting with picking the wrong guy twice.
I'm still learning valuable lessons, everyday.

We all still do and the ideal next step in your life right now is to focus on that pregnancy first dear.

I won't tell you fairytale stories to raise your hopes regarding your main concern (Marriage) but I will tell you there's absolutely nothing impossible and to hope for the best.

Please take good care of yourself and All the best.

Shantelle80:
I know i made a bad decision getting pregnant before being married, believe me, i know.
I made many bad decisions actually starting with picking the wrong guy twice.
I'm still learning valuable lessons, everyday.

Its ok to worry because we are human...But don't worry too much..Am happy u accepts you've made a mistake,afterall we all make mistakes and some are still making it..!!!You're doing two things right,ure taking RESPONSIBILITY and you're SHARING your problems..(Others can learn from it) God bless you abundantly for that..
Madam,pls always know that tough situation never last,only tough people do...i have seen and am still seeing alot of people,most especially ladies in similar situation and they are coming out stronger and better..You're better than alot of them..Stay Strong,have Faith.....
THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Shantelle80:
Believe me or not, i have so much on my plate right now that i would not waste my time writing a script on nairaland for what purpose ?
I went out with 4 maybe 5 guys before i met my first boyfriend (the bi sexual one). we went on several dates because we clicked at some level. Then i would end up pretty quickly in the friend zone mainly because i didn't want to have sex right away. I became friend with most of them and after a while asked them why it didn't work out. This is how i got my answers. They said they thought from day 1 that it would not be it for the reason i told you guys.
I'm not immodest enough to think that i have no responsability in my relationship failures. I made poor choices for sure and may be i'm not affectionate or passionate or sexually driven enough. May be i have several other flaws but i'm not a bad person. All in all, i'm not a bad person and i didn't deserve to be deceived and betrayed twice.

You are over analyzing your issues.

You should focus on the pregnancy and baby first, then worry about husband or your past history with men, later.

Btw, you and I both know you are simply channeling other people's stories, not sure you're even female.

For anyone in this situation, you should be grateful to God for what you have, not what you don't have. You have a well paid job, you are not worrying about where your next meal is coming from, you are in reasonable health, there are others who do not have these things.

So stop trying to create drama over your past boyfriends and do not let anybody incite you to what will be counter productive for you. Remember, they get paid to see you destabilized.

U can't get an husband. But u can get a husband. Are u from delta or edo? What is it with this constant use of "an" before a "H" which is a consonant. An house, an home, an hospital- utterly wrong. I didn't have patience to finish ur write up. Y not marry the guy responsible for ur pregnancy. Then look inwards, there maybe some characters pushing men away from u.

Wendy80:
Don't know what u talking about but I've learnt to respect pple's wish as long as they're old enough to take decision.

yeah right

Op,i understand how u feel.work,love&take cr of ur baby.some 40yrs old single ladies r lookin for kids.funny enof,u cld stil meet a single guy&marry.just focus on ur life&baby for now

Cutehector:
Chai... My sister all is well.. Endure... Its a pity am in my 20s

Age is just a number.

Now, do the needful.

Phema:
Age is just a number.

Now, do the needful.

lol

Shantelle80:
Hi everyone,

i'm a little discouraged and depressed these days.
I just turned 35, i'm 4 months pregnant and i'm single

I met a guy when i was 28 in my prayer circle, got engaged to him a year later only to find out few months afterward that he was bisexual at best. I was devastated when we broke up but i had this good friend who helped me and comforted through that mess.

We started dating a year later, time for me to heal and to realize that i actually liked him too. We dated for years before starting making plans. We talked marriage, babies, and buying an house. The relationship was so great, we were so compatible, i trusted him so much that when he said just start TTC before being legally married i accepted. I got pregnant and the very day i told him so, he said that he was not ready whatsoever, that i had to get an abortion and that if i didn't do so, we would be done and i would have to take responsibility alone. I was totally blindsided.

I couldn't get an abortion. So now here i am, having this baby alone and wondering why, why me ? What have i done wrong ? What have i done to deserve this ? The first break up i thought that was bad luck, i was deceived buy someone who seemed perfect on paper but twice ? Am i a bad person or just silly ?
I'm trying to focus on this baby to come but when i think about our future, it's so scary. I really want this child to have a father in his life but don't feel like it will ever happen.

Do you think, in all honesty that a 35+ yo single mother stands any chance to ever find a decent men to share her life with ?

My dear, Life is tough..please don't let yourself become depressed. You have a baby coming and baby is good news. I understand the loneliness and pressure you will face but you shouldn't let it get to you. Take care of yourself and prepare for motherhood. if you have brothers or male cousins or guys you can trust, they may help stand as father figure to your baby. As for finding a decent man...the answer is YES. But when is what we cannot say

Shantelle80:
Hi everyone,

i'm a little discouraged and depressed these days.
I just turned 35, i'm 4 months pregnant and i'm single

I met a guy when i was 28 in my prayer circle, got engaged to him a year later only to find out few months afterward that he was bisexual at best. I was devastated when we broke up but i had this good friend who helped me and comforted through that mess.

We started dating a year later, time for me to heal and to realize that i actually liked him too. We dated for years before starting making plans. We talked marriage, babies, and buying an house. The relationship was so great, we were so compatible, i trusted him so much that when he said just start TTC before being legally married i accepted. I got pregnant and the very day i told him so, he said that he was not ready whatsoever, that i had to get an abortion and that if i didn't do so, we would be done and i would have to take responsibility alone. I was totally blindsided.

I couldn't get an abortion. So now here i am, having this baby alone and wondering why, why me ? What have i done wrong ? What have i done to deserve this ? The first break up i thought that was bad luck, i was deceived buy someone who seemed perfect on paper but twice ? Am i a bad person or just silly ?
I'm trying to focus on this baby to come but when i think about our future, it's so scary. I really want this child to have a father in his life but don't feel like it will ever happen.

Do you think, in all honesty that a 35+ yo single mother stands any chance to ever find a decent men to share her life with ?

You are 4 months pregnant and 35yrs. At least you have something. Some people have nothing. Always look at the positive side of life.

Relax and look for a way to take care of your unborn child. If you have a brother or father, they can be a father figure to your child.

You are jumping more that you should.

Looking for a man at this stage should be the least of your worries. Morning sickness never even catch you. You get strength to look for man with your belly

Man will come when you least expect .
Love your self. If you don't, no one will love you.

With your sad face, if I be man sef I will run.
No one likes sad face.
cheer up and get your life back together

Shantelle80:
I'm sorry if i sound whining, marriage is not my upmost priority of course.
That would be my baby and i am focusing on him/her. Still, this may sound old school but i always pictured myself in a "traditionnal" way of life.
Starting a family with a man i love and who loves me, raising our children together. I never thought that i would be in this place at this point in my life.
Still i praise God for all his blessings. I'm healthy, my parents are too, i have a decent career, enough money to take care of myself and raise this child.
I'm just sad you know, just sad and dissapointed. Most of us need someone to share our lifes with, i know some people don't but i do.
I really hope that i will be able to find a good mate and bring a good paternal figure in my child's life.
As i look around though, it seems like i'm now out of the game. Most men won't date a single mom or a 35+ woman so a 35+ single mom...

If you really are shantelle, I'll marry you.......

Abeg madam focus on being a single mother for now! Many women have successfully walked this path for eons! You have more pressing issues than "husband matter" for now! That being said, this your gist resemble one film wey I watch yesterday oh?

anathemiamia:
in all honesty, i think its possible. I have a friend who lost his dad when he was about 15 and had 2 other siblings. His mom married again and the man has taken care of all the kids like they're his. You're young and you sound like you have a lot of love to give. Reserve it for your child. Concentrate on that and it'll carry you through even if you never find anyone. Finally, forgive and learn to love yourself as a complete person (not someone who needs someone else to feel complete)

Might modify later

Those things those not happen regularly,jus because it happens to ur friend's mum that does not guarrante u he's gonna happen to her... Am not discuraging her but at 35, u hardly see a man around 38 to 40 who his still single and has no child, secondly even if u see they might not meet up ur criteria.e.g they might an illiterate,they might be handicap or stuffs like that....OP said she left one guy becus he was biosexual or stuffs like that...he was biosexual was he not caring enough? Answer this question OP,lets start from here....

Phantomstranger:
If you really are shantelle, I'll marry you.......

more like sheniqua alt id. . . . . . .

danbrowndmf:
Those things those not happen regularly,jus because it happens to ur friend's mum that does not guarrante u he's gonna happen to her... Am not discuraging her but at 35, u hardly see a man around 38 to 40 who his still single and has no child, secondly even if u see they might not meet up ur criteria.e.g they might an illiterate,they might be handicap or stuffs like that....OP said she left one guy becus he was biosexual or stuffs like that...he was biosexual was he not caring enough? Answer this question OP,lets start from here....

she's probably waiting for a widower.

tpiadotcom:
she's probably waiting for a widower.

Lol....ur nt serious...

mathdiva:
My dear, Life is tough..please don't let yourself become depressed. You have a baby coming and baby is good news. I understand the loneliness and pressure you will face but you shouldn't let it get to you. Take care of yourself and prepare for motherhood. if you have brothers or male cousins or guys you can trust, they may help stand as father figure to your baby. As for finding a decent man...the answer is YES. But when is what we cannot say

best reply I've ever seen in NL in years.