mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate.

Make una help me on this contest.

Na Monday

Abeg! Biko! Ejor! D'ala!

I need to win.

STILL I FLOW

flow1759:
mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate.

Make una help me on this contest.

Na Monday

Abeg! Biko! Ejor! D'ala!

I need to win.

STILL I FLOW

. Mr Flow what are you contesting for

Flow1759, i just read that your ''man wey dey reason'' piece.. It was nice, i want to start this now.. Kudos bro

Mr NL 2015

waistaa:
. Mr Flow what are you contesting for

June 16.

“omoh I wan travel go Lagos for one interview oh!” I informed the house.

“which interview?” Snow asked.

“guy na for one insurance company like that oh!” Talking of an Industrial Physics graduate going for an interview in an Insurance company.

“ehnnen! Flow! I thank God for you oh! So you don get job?” Junior said.

“M’umu! I tell you say I wan go interview, you dey tell me say I don get job!”

“eheeen! I dey wish you well na!” A good wish but from a wrong “wisher”.

“even sef you know say na we help you through all this period of joblessness!” He said

“who tell you say I dey jobless all this period?” I cut, “Broville no be work?”

“Broville na manage-manage work na!” Junior answered.

“na manage-manage work and na the money wey I dey get there nahim I dey use buy you beer abi?” For his information.

“yes na true make I no lie, that is why I fit help make I teach you how you go take answer them the questions wey them go ask for the interview” He volunteered.

“hahahahahahahahahaha! You!” I couldn’t help but laughed.

“yes! me na!”

“you wey never teach yourself, na another person you wan teach!! Hahahahahahaha!”


A wise man once told me “remove the speck in your eyes, so you will see clearly to remove the log in another man eyes!”

Junior that failed WAEC three times giving an excuse that WAEC was far more difficult than their own O’ level exam in Togo, wishing he sat in Togo. Was WAEC not a West African exam?




“So Flow, which day you dey travel?” Snow asked.

“na tomorrow morning na! I wan dey arrange my cloth for my bag now sef!” I said, “food dey kitchen?”

“no oh!” Snow answered, “nobody get money, we just dey wait make you come so you go arrange for us!”

“say wetin happen? I resemble una papa?”

“yes na, you be our Daddy na, Daddy welcome!!” Junior teased.

“The money wey me I hold here na my transport to Lagos, I no wan touch am, na 4k and I hear say transport for Lagos na 3,600 naira”

“eheen! As the money na 3,600 niara, you get extra 400 naira to flex na!”

“see your mouth like flex! Shey I no go enter motor from here go pack for waterlines? Shey I no go chop for road? Shey I no go enter motor from where motor go drop me for Lagos reach my house?”

“forget that thing jor, the money go reach you, if e no reach you trek” Junior was getting on my nerves.

“make I trek go Lagos?”

“yes na! no be your mate dey trek for Goodluck Jonathan from Abuja to Otuoke?”







Bigie called pestering me to come join in Bunkery, or better still, be his body guard.







“Papey! Papey!! Wetin you cook na? I dey hungry!”


Papey was our Neighbour, A man old enough to be my father, he stays alone despite that he had three boys and two girls. A grand father but his children refused him access to their wealth, little wonder he came to fend for himself in Port Harcourt thereby renting an apartment of his own and starting Garri business. As short as Coca Cola bottle yet he so much loved anything on skirt.



I will never forget the day Miracle the landlord’s daughter poured him urine just because he was peeping her through an opening in our bathroom door as she bathed; the same opening Snow was peeping Sandra that almost made brother Snow lost one eye.

His own girlfriend!

He was so f’oolish as to peeping his own girlfriend as she took her bath one hot afternoon.

“Sandra na me na! Sandra na me na!” Was what we heard as Snow ran round the compound with his hands on his left eye.

“baby I'm sorry! I thought it was someone else!” Was all that ended it, meanwhile Snow’s left eye was “anya four thirty” for two weeks; if you know what I mean?





“I no cook oh, but e get small beans wey remain for my pot!” Papey answered, “make I bring am na?”

“Papey bring oh! I go manage am like that!”

“you go manage am like that abi we go manage like that?” Snow yelled from inside.

“we go manage am like that but una dey inside dey play card abi!”

“Flow no worry the beans go reach una if una go use garri chop am” Papey assured.



As the pot of beans was handed over to me, I almost said;”hhhnnnnn! Papey! The beans don sawa na!”, but then he shut me up by saying “make una warm an well well, e no too sawa like that”.


“Flow! Put am oil when you dey warm am, e go good!” Snow the Minister of Food resources advised.


In no time beans was piping hot and ready to go down with Garri "its" twin brother.


“Junior see as you dey rush the food!”

“you no know say I dey hungry well well! since morning i never chop!”






After eating, I updated the story I was writing on a Forum Nairaland, as well as check my mails.

“Flow you try oh!” Snow said.

“try for wetin?”

“you try na! all this time wey hungry dey catch us and we dey advise you make you sell this your laptop, you no sell am” He said.

“I no dey sell my property like that! Unless I go dash person when I don use am tayah!” And I wasn’t ready to dash it out.







Night fell and we slept peacefully.

My night was nightmare free.



Next morning I was set for the journey with 4,000 naira and a slight headache.



Little did I know!

Tobiee:
Flow1759, i just read that your ''man wey dey reason'' piece.. It was nice, i want to start this now.. Kudos bro

Thank you!!

And as you dey read, don't forget to vote for me as Mr Nairaland.

flow1759:



Thank you!!

And as you dey read, don't forget to vote for me as Mr Nairaland.

i wont. E don start?

Tobiee:
i wont. E don start?

when it starts, you will be informed here.
Thank you

bros abeg i nr sabi vote just teach me na o.

Tobiee:
i wont. E don start?

U mean u won't vote him or u won't forget?

eROCK247:
U mean u won't vote him or u won't forget?

i wont forget na...

oga flow wht abt brain box na. #ghost reader. wen ur election start let me no

flow1759:

I need to win.
STILL I FLOW

Mr nairaland? oya share the link ...still you flow

Dear flow,
In as much as I want u to win the Mr. Nl election, I would also love to know what you stand to gain if you win. In a nut-shell what are the benefits of being Mr. Nl

Hmmmm
Good question.

Chimaritoponcho:
Dear flow,
In as much as I want u to win the Mr. Nl election, I would also love to know what you stand to gain if you win. In a nut-shell what are the benefits of being Mr. Nl

flow1759:
mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate.

Make una help me on this contest.

Na Monday

Abeg! Biko! Ejor! D'ala!

I need to win.

STILL I FLOW

even if I dey support lekinz no mean say I no go vote for u boss

ritababe:


even if I dey support lekinz no mean say I no go vote for u boss

flow no link for me to vote o,I went to the page n no place to vote.

waistaa:
flow no link for me to vote o,I went to the page n no place to vote.

its on monday

ritababe:

its on monday

thank u Ritzzy

waistaa:
thank u Ritzzy

u welcome

flow1759:
mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate.

Make una help me on this contest.

Na Monday

Abeg! Biko! Ejor! D'ala!

I need to win.

STILL I FLOW

my vote is all urs mr flow

still i follow

Humorous as it is, yet the story is scintillating! Flow1759 weldon here




Been following you since man wey dey reason. Buh brother don't you think you need to proof read sometimes before posting? Don't give in to the pressure of your fans to reduce your compositions and choice of words.

Our naija's Samuel selvon!

Chimaritoponcho:
Dear flow,
In as much as I want u to win the Mr. Nl election, I would also love to know what you stand to gain if you win. In a nut-shell what are the benefits of being Mr. Nl

Mehn e be like say e reach 15k like i hear. Plus other "orishirishi"

marioking:
Humorous as it is, yet the story is scintillating! Flow1759 weldon here




Been following you since man wey dey reason. Buh brother don't you think you need to proof read sometimes before posting? Don't give in to the pressure of your fans to reduce your compositions and choice of words.

Our naija's Samuel selvon!

Weldone!

I go try.

Dear Readers,
This Story "Flow and Snow" will end soon; precisely on my birthday.

I appreciate all that read and commented, those that read but refused to comment, those that read as a quest. Una all be correct

I appreciate in no particular order:


marioking, sikirus81,mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate,ultraawesome, Emmeritus, peterswagg, spawnx, Madawaki01, yemi2plus, chistar01, trinityo42, texanomaly(my former wife), Francuiz, Tgold1, dazzy4real, donifez(mehn i miss this guy), plainmirror, emmadejust, odunharry, AmiableJay, Double194, smith403, foxy_flow, ERF, Tobiee.



isilove my madam at the "toppest top". I wan ask you oh! abeg who you go vote for for this Mr Nairaland?


cho25bc how i go forget you.

Una plenty na. You guys made me won the writer of the month of April. I thank una!




I no distant time, i will come out with yet another block buster-- stay tuned.

After the story, i will entertain question pertaining to this and any other of my stories.



PS: As una love me naso i love una. But make una show me love for this Mr Nairaland Contest wey go start by Monday.



I STILL FLOW

E don start oh.

https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination

Format of voting:
I vote flow1759
CC: NLjega

“oga driver I wan s’hit, my belle dey turn me!” I couldn't hold it anymore.

“hahahahahahahahaha!” The lady that sat close to me laughed.

"why you dey laugh?" I turned to her, "i am having running stomach!"


“bus never move go far you don dey complain say you wan s’hit!” A passenger said.

“you well so?”

“wetin you chop na?” My six was in seven.

The fully Air conditioned bus looked to me like an elbow room full of so many Water closet toilets.

“no sh’it for my body oh!” The fine "babe" by my side yelled.

What a life sef!



“stoop! Driver stooooop!” I cried out.

“driver stop for am na!” One woman pleaded.

“I no dey stop, why him no s’hit for park?” The driver said.

“driver I s’hit for park oh! I s’hit!!” I yelled, “in fact I s’hit five times oooh!”

“hahahahahahahahaha!”

“hahahahahahahahahaha!” They saw me as a comedian, especially the lady that sat close to me.

The lady I pledged to "chyke" with time.

The lady that I noticed was admiring me.

The lady that was as pretty as Tonto Dike.

“See as I fall my hand!!” I cried within, “fine boy like me!”

But then I remembered Snow’s adage “s’hit no get respect!” so I yelled out the more; “driver stop abeg!!” “e don dey comot!”

“make e comot na!” Driver returned.

“driver abeg pity am na, e go s’hit for inside the bus oh!”

“Papa beans don finish me! I no ever take anything from that man!” I assured myself.


With a great screech, the driver stopped and I dashed into the bush making the whole passengers laughed.

“una dey laugh una Papa!” I cursed.


Not to make some of you throw up, lemme skip details of the “s’hitty show” that transpired in the bush; all I know is that I came out of the bush alive; that was the only important thing at that point.


“oga we think say you don die inside the bush oh! Hahahahahahaha!” The same girl that sat close to me.

And she was staring at me in disgust like I was the poo, or like i carried a plate of poo on my head.



“oga take this drugs, drink am, e go stop!” One elderly woman offered.

“which drugs be this!” I needed to know it wasn’t chloroquine.




Mehn Chloroquine don show me shege for this life!

When I was 8 or there about, Chloroquine was administered to me for the first time.That was in the era when Chloroquine was Chloroquine; if you know what i mean? Had my mum known it would react that way on me, she wouldn’t had given me to swallow.


Omoh naso I begin scratch my body with my finger oh, but since I had no long finger nails all thanks to our school head master, I com decide to scratch with scissors oh.

Soon I was bleeding in some part of my body especially my b’utt.





“na faagil!” She answered.

“which one be faagi?” At least I knew what “faagi” meant in Yoruba.

“flagil!” The woman tried correcting her intonation.

“na the name of the medicine you wan know abi na wetin you go drink wey go stop this your s’hitty-s’hitty you dey find?” The same girl. I felt like giving her a hot slap, but i obeyed Idi Amin Dada's quote that says; "I guarantee you freedom of speech, but freedom after speech, that i can not guarantee".





The drugs really worked; it stopped.



As we moved on, I looked the other way shy of looking at “her” in the face.

“this girl wey dey laugh me like this! E fit be say she like me oh!” I told myself.

“even if I s’hit, I still be fine boy!” I assured, “and I sure say she like me!”

“shey make I talk to her?”

“I go talk to her jor!” That was the biggest mistake i made since depositing 50,000 Niara into someone else’s bank account instead of that of my younger sister.

Yeah, I met up! Never thought I could meet up before the end of the story o. Nice story you got here, thumbs up to you... but i must ask, wetin happen again nah? Thought you don enter army and you don marry for barack boy, how this one com take happen again?
Still U Flow

flow1759:
Dear Readers,
This Story "Flow and Snow" will end soon; precisely on my birthday.

I appreciate all that read and commented, those that read but refused to comment, those that read as a quest. Una all be correct

I appreciate in no particular order:


marioking, sikirus81,mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate,ultraawesome, Emmeritus, peterswagg, spawnx, Madawaki01, yemi2plus, chistar01, trinityo42, texanomaly(my former wife), Francuiz, Tgold1, dazzy4real, donifez(mehn i miss this guy), plainmirror, emmadejust, odunharry, AmiableJay, Double194, smith403, foxy_flow, ERF, Tobiee.



isilove my madam at the "toppest top". I wan ask you oh! abeg who you go vote for for this Mr Nairaland?


cho25bc how i go forget you.

Una plenty na. You guys made me won the writer of the month of April. I thank una!




I no distant time, i will come out with yet another block buster-- stay tuned.

After the story, i will entertain question pertaining to this and any other of my stories.



PS: As una love me naso i love una. But make una show me love for this Mr Nairaland Contest wey go start by Monday.



I STILL FLOW

happy birthday padi of life in advance

"flow and snow" is/was epic and fummy and i will be here when u start ur new story

btw, tomorow is my birthday and i expect u to dedicate atleast on update for me


STILL I FOLLOW

sorry it came late

cho25bc na my small support be dis abeg help me knack am for campaign thread

flow1759:
Dear Readers,
This Story "Flow and Snow" will end soon; precisely on my birthday.

I appreciate all that read and commented, those that read but refused to comment, those that read as a quest. Una all be correct

I appreciate in no particular order:


marioking, sikirus81,mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate,ultraawesome, Emmeritus, peterswagg, spawnx, Madawaki01, yemi2plus, chistar01, trinityo42, texanomaly(my former wife), Francuiz, Tgold1, dazzy4real, donifez(mehn i miss this guy), plainmirror, emmadejust, odunharry, AmiableJay, Double194, smith403, foxy_flow, ERF, Tobiee.



isilove my madam at the "toppest top". I wan ask you oh! abeg who you go vote for for this Mr Nairaland?


cho25bc how i go forget you.

Una plenty na. You guys made me won the writer of the month of April. I thank una!




I no distant time, i will come out with yet another block buster-- stay tuned.

After the story, i will entertain question pertaining to this and any other of my stories.



PS: As una love me naso i love una. But make una show me love for this Mr Nairaland Contest wey go start by Monday.



I STILL FLOW

God bless ur hustle, happy birthday in advance

Thank u o.Wow!
God go sama u wit blessings.
They are beautiful

ezeigbo194:
cho25bc na my small support be dis abeg help me knack am for campaign thread