Emperortj93:
happy birthday padi of life in advance

"flow and snow" is/was epic and fummy and i will be here when u start ur new story

btw, tomorow is my birthday and i expect u to dedicate atleast on update for me


STILL I FOLLOW

Happy birthday dear wish u all d good things of life muahh

cho25bc:
Thank u o.Wow! God go sama u wit blessings. They are beautiful

you are welcome

Trypa:







Happy birthday dear wish u all d good things of life muahh

thanks dear
muahhhhhhhhhhh

Happy birthday Sir

Emperortj93:
thanks dear

muahhhhhhhhhhh

cho25bc:
Happy birthday Sir

thanks ma

Larrylarex:
Yeah, I met up! Never thought I could meet up before the end of the story o. Nice story you got here, thumbs up to you... but i must ask, wetin happen again nah? Thought you don enter army and you don marry for barack boy, how this one com take happen again?
Still U Flow

Barrack boy was never true life.

ezeigbo194:

you are welcome

You be correct. cho25bc a beg help me knack them for the campaign thread

flow1759:


You be correct. cho25bc a beg help me knack them for the campaign thread

mr Nairaland i hail just dey flow

flow1759:


Barrack boy was never true life.

Ok, never knew. I thought it was true story like the others ni

Today is d voting proper ooo.
Pls remember 2 vote ooo.
@flow,pls update us on d Voting thread n teach us how 2 Vote.I mean d format ASAP.
All d best Boss

Today is d voting proper ooo.
Pls remember 2 vote ooo.
@flow1759,pls update us on d Voting thread n teach us how 2 Vote.I mean d format ASAP.I've sent u a mail.
All d best Boss

e don start oh.

make una help me with una vote.

https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination

ezeigbo194:


mr Nairaland i hail just dey flow

E don start oh https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination

ezeigbo194:


you are welcome

E don start oh https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination

cho25bc:
Today is d voting proper ooo.
Pls remember 2 vote ooo.
@flow1759,pls update us on d Voting thread n teach us how 2 Vote.I mean d format ASAP.I've sent u a mail.
All d best Boss

https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination e don start

What abt d format?
Is it 'I VOTE FLOW1759 ccNLJega'?
Pls answer quickly becos I don't know d format

flow1759:


https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination e don start

cho25bc:
What abt d format?
Is it 'I VOTE FLOW1759 ccNLJega'?
Pls answer quickly becos I don't know d format

I vote flow1759
CC: Nljega

marioking, sikirus81,mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate,ultraawesome, Emmeritus, peterswagg, spawnx, Madawaki01, yemi2plus, chistar01, trinityo42, texanomaly(my former wife), Francuiz, Tgold1, dazzy4real, donifez(mehn i miss this guy), plainmirror, emmadejust, odunharry, AmiableJay, Double194, smith403, foxy_flow, ERF, Tobiee, Kunle106, Darus05,ezeigbo194.


Round two don start oh.

make una go vote.

I need you guysw to help me go through this round just as you helped me go through the previous round.

Former wife?

“hello! My name is Ugo; Ugochukwu. Whats your name?”

“my name is Toilet!”

“ehnnn! you said your name is Telet!”

“no! my name is Tiolet, Toi………let!” The man that sat in front turned and giggled. Thank God most of the passengers were fast asleep.

First attack!

First to do, e no dey pain!!

I took my face off the "pretty" in shame while I regrouped.

“see as this girl fall my hand! She dey tell me say her name na Toilet because say I go s’hit disgrace myself abi?”

“why haven’t she forgotten the s’hit show?” I asked myself, “abi she no dey s’hit?”









Few minutes later

“Toilet can I borrow your ear piece!” I asked.

“hahahahahahahahaha!!” She laughed so hard.

“but you said your name is Toilet!”

“hahahahahahahahahaha!!” She laughed on.

“na wetin you talk na!”

“hahahahahahahahahaha!” Like she inhaled laughing gas; laughing and farting at the same time.

“hahahahahahahaha!” The man that initially was listening keenly to our conversation joined in the laughter.

“But na wetin you tell am na!” he said.

“oooh!! Help me tell her oh!” I added.



Alas! She gave me her ear piece; meaning her name was truly Toilet.

“what kind of toilet are you? Is it pit or water closet?” I needed to know; and the whole passengers laughed, most of which suggested she was Water closet; I guess because she was pretty.

“hahahahahahahahaha!” One ugly girl that sat behind me continued laughing.

Hers was the case of Pit toilet not Water closet, but on a second look, she looked Bucket toilet to me.




“my name is not Tiolet, my name is Lolade!” Yoruba she was.

“Well, my name is Tobiloba!” Igbo boy don turn Yoruba.

“Tobiloba? But you said your name is Ugochukwu initially?”

“yes, I am Ugochukwu Tobiloba Akande!”

“you are Igbo and Yoruba?” She asked.

“I am Igbo boy wey like Yoruba!” I almost said.

“Yes, my father is Yoruba from Ibadan, My Mother is Igbo from Owerri”

“so you are dual tribal?” She asked.

“No, I am lingual franca” I almost said.

Not knowing i spoke it out.

“Franca!”

“Who is Franca?” She asked.

“Franca?” I never knew my tongue had slipped.

“Did I say Franca?”

“yes you did!”

“ook! Sorry! Franca is the name of my younger sister, you look like her!” Fat lie! My younger sister’s name was far from Franca.

“maybe some day you will get to meet her”

“maybe!” She noted.


“so where are you from in Ibadan?” She asked.

“me!” I asked.

“no me!”

“where are you from in Ibadan jor!” She said, “I am from Ibadan too!”

“Ibadan! Oook! I am from……………………” Network failure.

“I am from………………………….” I was becoming a clown.

“I am no more from Ibadan ooh, I am from Ondo” I nearly said.



“you have forgotten where you are from?” She frowned.

Meanwhile, Eze my friend had told me that he was serving in Mokola in Ibadan.


“Mokola! I am from Mokola!” I said.

“Mokola! Really! Where in Mokola?” She was curious.

“where?”

“yeah!”

“ook! I don’t know oh! I have not been to my village before!”



“well, Mokola is my Maternal!” She said.

“which one be Maternity again? you wan born pekin?” I think I had partial eardrum blockage.










“do you care!” She offered me the Banana she bought.

“why I no go care? Me wey hungry don dey wayah!” It's like Flagil bought me hunger.


From the driver’s inner mirror I saw I looked like an Albino Monkey munching the Banana.




“do you care!” This time it was plantain chips.






“do you care!” Gala.




“do you care!” Walnut.




“do you care!” Okpa.


I cared for them all.



Soon my stomach was filled to the brim.

Farting was next.


“hhhmmmmm!! e no go better for the person wey mess this mess!” What was it with Nigerians insulting people that farts.

“same to you!” I replied within.

“hmmmmnn! Person no go respect himself tell driver make him stop make him come down go mess!” One man fired.




Screeeeeeeeeeech!!! And the driver stopped.

I thought it was for me to go down and continue farting.



“Make everybody go down! Those wey wan go chop, go chop, those wey wan go s’hit, go s’hit, those wey wan go mess, go mess!” The driver announced.

texanomaly:
Former wife?

Sorry retired wife. lol

go vote for me oh

This last funny update is dedicated to all those that will vote for me, and to those that have already voted.

I love you all. Three gbosa for una "gbosa! gbosa! gbosa!!"

But if you read and don't vote ehnn!

Wetin i go do you!!





Wetin i go do you ehn!!















Nothing i go do you oh! Na beg i dey beg.




Just vote https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination

flow1759:
marioking, sikirus81,mackzydon9, Audinowing, Spongia1, viciati, Suspect33, eRock247, kayceerilyn, mackzydon9, stuff46, gr8dav, bishop88, Chimaritoponcho, Trypa, Rounakid, ajumaxbabe, wristwatch, CallMeFemi, princesssusan,Toyade888, IHate9ja1, Melancholy, jayhaywhy, Molz, highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate,ultraawesome, Emmeritus, peterswagg, spawnx, Madawaki01, yemi2plus, chistar01, trinityo42, texanomaly(my former wife), Francuiz, Tgold1, dazzy4real, donifez(mehn i miss this guy), plainmirror, emmadejust, odunharry, AmiableJay, Double194, smith403, foxy_flow, ERF, Tobiee.


e don start oh.

make una go vote

https://www.nairaland.com/2395706/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination

i don vote u na since morng

Done

I'm not following the thread...too many posts. Be sure to let me know when the next round of voting starts Flow.

ajumaxbabe:
i don vote u na since morng

. I don vote

texanomaly:
I'm not following the thread...too many posts. Be sure to let me know when the next round of voting start Flow.

Yes I will

Flow, 2day na your B.Day??

Happy birthday boss.lOng life in goohealth n joy.
Pls check ur mail n do d needful.
Pls our pple,flow is in 4th position O.we thank God n all of u who voted. God bless u all.
Pls d battle continues 2day. Let's try to vote him so dat he can also make it 2 d next stage.

hbd plow
SAI FLOW How we go vote na?

When d next vote start u no wht up na. WHAT OFFFF BRAIN BOX NA, OGA FLOW...

As I celebrate, i celebrate a people that had made me smiled over this past year.

I celebrate with a special people.

A peculiar people.

The ones that put a smile on my face always.

The Apple of my eyes.

All numero una.

e pluribus anum.

My mind sweeteners.

The ones that have made my talent grew like a the Rose that grew in concrete with damaged petals.

A handful, yet a heartful.

Words please fail me not to describe this special people, Please!!





Thank you all for the birthday wishes.

Thank you all for the votes.

Lets do it again in this next round https://www.nairaland.com/2398330/mr-nairaland-contest-2015-elimination