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How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by Segse(m): 5:46pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
Lol.cheesy

It's true that it's often hard for a woman that wants you to back down sha, I guess OP just has to forget about how she will react to the rejection, should he try to let her down easy to no avail, he doesn't have to be rude if my method fails, he just has to be firm/stern.

She'll get over it eventually.

Exactly!
My latest experience even called me bad names all in the name of not agreeing to date her. Asking me rhetorical questions like do u think I'm desperate (which in reality she is), do u think u're d only guy I have (infact I should be d only 1 because no guy was disturbing her then), I doubt if u are even complete (lolz).
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by Ataegbiti: 5:47pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:

Maybe I'm a dude wink
What does a lady sound like? Lol!
Abi,? Never thought of that. Transexuals full NL. Usually ladies sound soft n tender.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 5:48pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


By continuing to pester him with her "love". Who does that? It's just odd to me because I don't know of many women who'll do something like that.
Lol, men do it though.

Might just be a method of persuasion to get him to change his mind, you know, when it comes to matters of the heart, people usually aren't always rational in their approach, she probably thinks the guy is only playing hard to get.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by IamLEGEND1: 5:51pm On Jul 12, 2015
You tell the gurl straight to her face,she should leave you alone
if she refuses to back down....
Go & Give all those "Operation flush-out" guys small change.....
Dem go help you reset her to factory settings.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by Ataegbiti: 5:53pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
Lol, men do it though.

Might just be a method of persuasion to get him to change his mind, you know, when it comes to matters of the heart, people usually aren't always rational in their approach, she probably thinks the guy is only playing hard to get.
Lol. Role reversal. Na men d play "hard to get" now!
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 5:53pm On Jul 12, 2015
Segse:


Exactly!
My latest experience even called me bad names all in the name of not agreeing to date her. Asking me rhetorical questions like do u think I'm desperate (which in reality she is), do u think u're d only guy I have (infact I should be d only 1 because no guy was disturbing her then), I doubt if u are even complete (lolz).
Lol, I can imagine what you went through.cheesy

You know, most people have the notion that, a woman can get any man she wants, so she just can't understand why a man, a being she has come to believe would do almost anything for sex, would say no to free punny, it is just beyond her reasoning.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 5:55pm On Jul 12, 2015
Ataegbiti:

Lol. Role reversal. Na men d play "hard to get" now!
Na so na.grin
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 6:06pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
Lol, men do it though.

Might just be a method of persuasion to get him to change his mind, you know, when it comes to matters of the heart, people usually aren't always rational in their approach, she probably thinks the guy is only playing hard to get.

lol @ she probably thinks the guy is only playing hard to get. That's just creepy. Maybe it's her personality to hound the men she's interested in then. Go, go, girl!!! Rather her than me. Every answer is always going to carry our own dna somehow. I just can't relate to hunting down a man for love. It's crazy behaviour imo lol.

As for men doing it, well, I think they're really brave grin I'd die a virgin if I was a man because I fear rejection so much.

Funny how it's easier for women to tell a guy to beat it when we aren't interested, but they find it hard to do because "it might hurt her feelings". Personally, I couldn't care less about how a guy might feel when I'm turning him down. I'm just not interested, so scram. I guess we're wired differently, hey?
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 6:14pm On Jul 12, 2015
Ataegbiti:

Abi,? Never thought of that. Transexuals full NL.
Usually ladies sound soft n tender.

Shrugs. I must be a "rough" kind of "lady" then if that's the case.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by Segse(m): 6:22pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
Lol, I can imagine what you went through.cheesy

You know, most people have the notion that, a woman can get any man she wants, so she just can't understand why a man, a being she has come to believe would do almost anything for sex, would say no to free punny, it is just beyond her reasoning.


I tell u my sister........To be realistic I refused to get too close to her or dance to her tune because she's older.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 6:27pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


lol @ she probably thinks the guy is only playing hard to get. That's just creepy. Maybe it's her personality to hound the men she's interested in then. Go, go, girl!!! Rather her than me. Every answer is always going to carry our own dna somehow. I just can't relate to hunting down a man for love. It's crazy behaviour imo lol.

As for men doing it, well, I think they're really brave grin I'd die a virgin if I was a man because I fear rejection so much.

Funny how it's easier for women to tell a guy to beat it when we aren't interested, but they find it hard to do because "it might hurt her feelings". Personally, I couldn't care less about how a guy might feel when I'm turning him down. I'm just not interested, so scram. I guess we're wired differently, hey?
You know men are stronger than women physically, so it's easier for them to deal with such as they are able to hide how they really feel. Ladies on the other hand show emotions easily and I believe this is why men worry about hurting "their" feelings.

I do care how the ones I perceive as genuine/reasonable feel though, I know a guy that's all about the sex, therefore I'm very stern in turning him down, but I always try to be subtle with the ones who seem to genuinely care, I find out it actually makes them respect me more and try so hard not to do anything to spoil how I see them, therefore they behave themselves(proly still hoping I come around)eventually they let go.

Some girls actually end up getting the men by persisting, just like some guys get the girls too. I know a lady now married to the guy she asked out, dude wasn't interested initially but came around and is now head over heels.

It's not a one size fits all.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 6:30pm On Jul 12, 2015
Segse:


I tell u my sister........To be realistic I refused to get too close to her or dance to her tune because she's older.
Aww! It's usually an issue with most guys, but it may have turned out to be great you know. There are such relationships.

It's good you know what you want and stuck to it sha.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 6:37pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
You know men are stronger than women physically, so it's easier for them to deal with such as they are able to hide how they really feel. Ladies on the other hand show emotions easily and I believe this is why men worry about hurting "their" feelings.

I do care how the ones I perceive as genuine/reasonable feel though, I know a guy that's all about the sex, therefore I'm very stern in turning him down, but I always try to be subtle with the ones who seem to genuinely care, I find out it actually makes them respect me more and try so hard not to do anything to spoil how I see them, therefore they behave themselves(proly still hoping I come around)eventually they let go.

Some girls actually end up getting the men by persisting, just like some guys get the girls too. I know a lady now married to the guy she asked out, dude wasn't interested initially but came around and is now head over heels.

It's not a one size fits all.

I agree with you, girl. To each their own. lol @ the lady who's married to a guy she asked out & he's now in love. Love potion things *side eye* Just joking. It just wouldn't suffice for me. I want it to be the other way around. Meaning, the guy must have hots for ME. Someone I have to pester just isn't man enough for me or in my eyes. I'd be embarrassed more than anything else.

So, would you ask a guy out? Just curious.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 6:48pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


I agree with you, girl. To each their own. lol @ the lady who's married to a guy she asked out & he's now in love. Love potion things *side eye* Just joking. It just wouldn't suffice for me. I want it to be the other way around. Meaning, the guy must have hots for ME. Someone I have to pester just isn't man enough for me or in my eyes. I'd be embarrassed more than anything else.

So, would you ask a guy out? Just curious.
Lol, I guess the way we were raised as women, to need a protector in the form of a man has contributed to how most women perceive men, there's always that need to have a man who can be all you want and more, and I guess a man, playing the reversed role of a woman(as set by society) is a turn off for people.

Ofcourse I would and I have, although with a little green light, any guy interested will get the message, but I knew he was interested before I made my move.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 6:54pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
Lol, I guess the way we were raised as women, to need a protector in the form of a man has contributed to how most women perceive men, there's always that need to have a man who can be all you want and more, and I guess a man, playing the reversed role of a woman(as set by society) is a turn off for people.

Ofcourse I would and I have, although with a little green light, any guy interested will get the message, but I knew he was interested before I made my move.

Nice one!! Brava! He never pulled out the "YOU asked me out" ace card each time you had complaints or when the relationship wasn't going well? See, that's my other reservation about that. I feel like the guy would always rub the fact that I asked him out in my face each time he acted like an @ss & couldn't be bothered owning up to his bs.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 7:03pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


Nice one!! Brava! He never pulled out the "YOU asked me out" ace card each time you had complaints or when the relationship wasn't going well? See, that's my other reservation about that. I feel like the guy would always rub the fact that I asked him out in my face each time he acted like an @ss & couldn't be bothered owning up to his bs.
No, he never did, I even used it to brag and he always denied it, saying I never asked him out, I always told him I did something he couldn't dogrin

Well, that's only if the guy is immature, you have to know him to an extent atleast, I can't just walk up to a random guy and ask him out, I can get his contact info and then take it up from there to ascertain if he's my kind of man or not.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 7:09pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
No, he never did, I even used it to brag and he always denied it, saying I never asked him out, I always told him I did something he couldn't dogrin

Well, that's only if the guy is immature, you have to know him to an extent atleast, I can't just walk up to a random guy and ask him out, I can get his contact info and then take it up from there to ascertain if he's my kind of man or not.


LMAO @ you did something he couldn't do. Brave girl cheesy
I still wouldn't risk it though. Too scary.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 7:12pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


LMAO @ you did something he couldn't do. Brave girl cheesy
I still wouldn't risk it though. Too scary.
I understand dear but there's really nothing to it.

Whenever I find myself in situations that make me nervous or scared, I ask myself "what's the worst that can happen" and just like that, it's done.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 7:21pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
I understand dear but there's really nothing to it.

Whenever I find myself in situations that make me nervous or scared, I ask myself "what's the worst that can happen" and just like that, it's done.

Gotcha wink

So, how did it end grin ? Don't answer if you think I'm being too forward. I tend to be unfiltered. Kikiki.

I admire your bravery & honesty, btw. Thanks smiley
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 7:33pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


Gotcha wink

So, how did it end grin ? Don't answer if you think I'm being too forward. I tend to be unfiltered. Kikiki.

I admire your bravery & honesty, btw. Thanks smiley
We got into different universities and distance put a rift, we somehow started seeing different people but remained good friends.

We still talk very well now that we are both out of school, he says we'll get married when we are both ready and I just laugh.grin

He's one of my(if not)my best friend, we almost never fight and when we do, it doesn't last 5 minutes, it just somehow turns into a joke.

You can ask whatever you want.

You are welcome.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 7:48pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
We got into different universities and distance put a rift, we somehow started seeing different people but remained good friends.

We still talk very well now that we are both out of school, he says we'll get married when we are both ready and I just laugh.grin

He's one of my(if not)my best friend, we almost never fight and when we do, it doesn't last 5 minutes, it just somehow turns into a joke.

You can ask whatever you want.

You are welcome.

Awwww...

He sounds like "the one". I'm pulling for you guys. It really does sound like an ideal relationship. All the best smiley
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 7:53pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


Awwww...

He sounds like "the one". I'm pulling for you guys. It really does sound like an ideal relationship. All the best smiley
Maybe he is,cheesy

Thanks dear.

It's been nice chatting with you.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 8:01pm On Jul 12, 2015
freecocoa:
Maybe he is,cheesy

Thanks dear.

It's been nice chatting with you.

Twas nice chatting to you too. Please, don't let him be the one that got away. A drama-free relationship is what most thrive for & you both had it. Beautiful.

If you don't want him then give him to me. Hahaha. Just joking. Cute love story kiss
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by freecocoa(f): 8:14pm On Jul 12, 2015
PunkyOh:


Twas nice chatting to you too. Please, don't let him be the one that got away. A drama-free relationship is what most thrive for & you both had it. Beautiful.

If you don't want him then give him to me. Hahaha. Just joking. Cute love story kiss
Lol, if it's meant to be, it will be so I'm not worried.

It indeed was beautiful, he's the reason why I still believe in love.

Take care sweet.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by Ataegbiti: 8:37pm On Jul 12, 2015
Freecocoa n Punkyoh I 've been enjoying ur chat. It turns out punkyoh is a soft, supple, sweet n "vulnerable" lady who is just putting up the "tough guy" facade.
Thanks for all your comments though.
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by PunkyOh(f): 8:57pm On Jul 12, 2015
Ataegbiti:
Freecocoa n Punkyoh I 've been enjoying ur chat. It turns out punkyoh is a soft, supple, sweet n "vulnerable" lady who is just putting up the "tough guy" facade.
Thanks for all your comments though.

LMFAO. I'm a crustacean. No...a chameleon! I never presented myself as a "tough guy" though, you just assumed. You need to squint real tight or be observant enough to realise that I'm actually a really nice person. .except when I feel strongly about something then I become the "tough guy" or whatever lol.

Cocoa is a lovely person, so yeah, mushy mushy smiley
Re: How Do You Turn Her Down Without Hurting Her Feelings? by Xtardom(m): 8:59pm On Jul 12, 2015
jst take a bold step by sitting ha down nd talk 2 ha..let ha knw ur reasonz..itz beta 4 ha 2 chanqe wayz nw dan 2 break ha heart in d future..*she_fit_curse_u_self*

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