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I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused - Romance (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceI Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused (8315 Views)

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Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by mrsmith11(m): 12:45pm On Sep 15, 2015
olukenzo:
The conversation you posted does not say he's cheating. He playfully accused Demoye of dating Samson's sister, who he is surprised is all grown now.

Having said that, from your explanations and the way he is treating you, there are indications he's using you to get his papers. There was a not so precise allusion to this in the shots you posted...

You have not asked for relationship advice, so I'll leave it at this. However, using you to get papers is wicked and criminal.

All the best dear.
So are you telling me there are no men in nigeria who treat there wives far worst than what the Op is passing through?
So what will call that..

Why are so many people so concern about the document.

The guy can just be irresponsible married man like every other cases we read here on nairaland

He can also be passing through a lot of pressure or difficult from home that why he is not investing money into vacation or travelling for fun

Please if you are not married or live abroad then you understand nothing
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by guy1234: 12:52pm On Sep 15, 2015
mrsmith11:
So are you telling me there are no men in nigeria who treat there wives far worst than what the Op is passing through?
So what will call that..

Why are so many people so concern about the document.

The guy can just be irresponsible married man like every other cases we read here on nairaland

He can also be passing through a lot of pressure or difficult from home that why he is not investing money into vacation or travelling for fun

Please if you are not married or live abroad then you understand nothing
My brother make u no mind them o. I no say d guy way pure o, but no be for we wey dey here to helep d babe bounce d guyman. Make she use her church mind. Den case remind me of sound sultan song AREA.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody: 1:01pm On Sep 15, 2015
mrsmith11:
So are you telling me there are no men in nigeria who treat there wives far worst than what the Op is passing through?
So what will call that..

Why are so many people so concern about the document.

The guy can just be irresponsible married man like every other cases we read here on nairaland

He can also be passing through a lot of pressure or difficult from home that why he is not investing money into vacation or travelling for fun

Please if you are not married or live abroad then you understand nothing
Can't you see he's hurting her!? You said it yourself, he's acting like an irresponsible man.

And yes, his behaviour as she's explained, in my opinion, says he's using her for papers. This is more so if we choose not to ignore the "acting like a monkey to catch a monkey" talk.

You don't say? By your logic, it takes only a married person or a diasporan to detect an irresponsible man.

He's a married man, he should talk to his wife and share whatever frustration(s) he may be going through with her.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by mrsmith11(m): 1:17pm On Sep 15, 2015
olukenzo:
Can't you see he's hurting her!? You said it yourself, he's acting like an irresponsible man.

And yes, his behaviour as she's explained, in my opinion, says he's using her for papers. This is more so if we choose not to ignore the "acting like a monkey to catch a monkey" talk.

You don't say? By your logic, it takes only a married person or a diasporan to detect an irresponsible man.

He's a married man, he should talk to his wife and share whatever frustration(s) he may be going through with her.
We all know the man is not living up to his responsibility in terms of care and trust issue to his wife due to his behaviour

What am saying is that some of you should stop sinking wrong ideas into the woman head that is because of document his with her. There are far worst cases here in nigeria

If it was a nigeria scenario.....all you people will say......woman pray,talk to your pastor,cook for him,dress sexy and expect God to change him because men are promiscious in nature

Why are you people not saying that now

Why everybody talking about papers because she is white?.....
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by urchbarbie(f): 1:25pm On Sep 15, 2015
chigoizie7:
Number 1, no real and true "igbo" calls it "ibo".



Take a chill pill.
dont torchlight ur ignorance dear.
ibo= used for person
igbo= used for d language

I wld gladly teach u dear
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by gboso1ne(m): 1:37pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
I dont know what to think anymore. Was believing in my husband, but he changed to secrets & lies! He laugh about my sorrow, but there are many problems between us. He say so many bad and respectless things to me, later he apologize. But he is ne er talking to me he only hide & lie
I found this in his handy
Can you help me to understand pls
Can you translate for me
In case you have not heard, some Nigerian men go into marriages in foreign countries just to get citizenship and be able to stay in the country legally which is what is "pali" or document in English.

Dude is just using you to get what he wants, after getting that then dump u.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by mrsmith11(m): 1:43pm On Sep 15, 2015
gboso1ne:
In case you have not heard, some Nigerian men go into marriages in foreign countries just to get citizenship and be able to stay in the country legally which is what is "pali" or document in English.

Dude is just using you to get what he wants, after getting that then dump u.
So anybody that lives abroad and mention Pali means he/she is using the partner for self interest?
You people don't live abroad......all you hear are stories and you keep recycling them

People fall in love and marry for long or short period it depends on them and they also fall out of love not all for selfish interest

The cases happens everywhere

Point of correction...."Pali" means passport............while. "Docu" means document
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by chigoizie7(m): 1:43pm On Sep 15, 2015
urchbarbie:
dont torchlight ur ignorance dear.
ibo= used for person
igbo= used for d language

I wld gladly teach u dear
Nekwanu onye nkea, nne, ebee ka inuu dat one?



As ibo is to person and igbo a language, then what about the tribe? Igo?


Just shut up if u don't know what to say.

I am an igbo, I speak igbo and my tribe is igbo.



As a yoruba? What are u? Yelowba? And ur language is yoruba while ur tribe is ofe mmanu?











Ignorance is a big disease, go and ask your parents were u came from, because it is clear that u re not an igbo.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody:
How are nigerian men
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by 400billionman:
Cityink:
I dont know what to think anymore. Was believing in my husband, but he changed to secrets & lies! He laugh about my sorrow, but there are many problems between us. He say so many bad and respectless things to me, later he apologize. But he is ne er talking to me he only hide & lie
I found this in his handy
Can you help me to understand pls
Can you translate for me
Guess, your husband is Stanley ? They are discussing about a girl, " Samson's sister ", and another lady maybe a friend of hers which they labeled as " The other one ", but from the discussion, your husband didn't do anything with the other one.

Demoye calls Samson's sister a weightlifter which could mean she is good in bed or means something else.

They didn't talk about you.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody: 3:26pm On Sep 15, 2015
mrsmith11:
We all know the man is not living up to his responsibility in terms of care and trust issue to his wife due to his behaviour

What am saying is that some of you should stop sinking wrong ideas into the woman head that is because of document his with her. There are far worst cases here in nigeria

If it was a nigeria scenario.....all you people will say......woman pray,talk to your pastor,cook for him,dress sexy and expect God to change him because men are promiscious in nature

Why are you people not saying that now

Why everybody talking about papers because she is white?.....
Of course, I am not denying that prejudice. Although I clearly mentioned earlier it's just a possibility.

And no one is putting ideas in anyone's head, she's not a child.

I'll be the last person to advice any of my Nigerian sisters to play along with a tosser like this guy. He should be a man and stop hurting his wife if he has issues!
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody:
What means
You don't spoil the pikin?
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by 400billionman: 3:38pm On Sep 15, 2015
urchbarbie:
lolx. how na? Person wey ask qiestions no dey lose, and person wey answer nkohuh?
Stop acting like you know too much..

Men will run away from you whenever they see that behaviour. .
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody: 3:39pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
How are nigerian Men? I would love to understand him! Are black women knowing a better way with them? People often tell me, black People will never love white woman for real. They all want to marry one day a black woman...is this true? Is it just a question of time until he leave me?
The song "mother land" is nice and i know there is much truth in, but he always tell me there is nothing in 9ja making him feel going back! He even didnt want to travel to Lagos last X-mas. I said i pay all so he dont need to worry about his money, but he didnt want!?!

Do i have any chance
You really need to put your mind at rest, the conversation is a harmless one between two good friends. Love is not a respecter of race. No relationship is perfect, trust your man and enjoy life together.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody: 3:41pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
What means
You don't spole the pekin?
You don't spoil the pikin?
This question is pure banter between two guys, your man is jokingly accusing his friend about messing around with a girl.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by 400billionman:
Cityink:
What means
You don't spole the pekin?
You don't spoil the pikin?
Your husband asked Demoye if he slept with Samson's sister. Demoye now said she is a weightlifter. Which could mean her physique is not appealing to him or, she is good in bed. He didn't offer a straight answer.

It's the bolded.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody: 3:43pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
How are nigerian Men? I would love to understand him! Are black women knowing a better way with them? People often tell me, black People will never love white woman for real. They all want to marry one day a black woman...is this true? Is it just a question of time until he leave me?
The song "mother land" is nice and i know there is much truth in, but he always tell me there is nothing in 9ja making him feel going back! He even didnt want to travel to Lagos last X-mas. I said i pay all so he dont need to worry about his money, but he didnt want!?!

Do i have any chance
There are responsible Nigerian men, but no offence, your man is not one.

Is he redeemable? Yes. If my fears that he's in for the citizenship is not true.

How can you help him? Actually, you have to help yourselves. That is, come to a middle ground.

Talk to him --heart to heart, you have to have done this pre-marriage, yes? Tell him how you feel about him;

Regain his trust, some people change after marriage;

Don't breath down his neck, give him his space if he asks for it;

Sex is not a bargaining chip, you're his and he's yours;

If possible, cook him some African meals, it'll blow his mind;

Get to know his family more. I hope you already know them enough, if not. Hmmmm.

I am not a marriage counsellor, I wish you all the best.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody: 3:46pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
What means
You don't spole the pekin?
You don't spoil the pikin?
Pikin means child.

So, it means, "you have spoilt the child".
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody:
mrsmith11:
So anybody that lives abroad and mention Pali means he/she is using the partner for self interest?
You people don't live abroad......all you hear are stories and you keep recycling them

People fall in love and marry for long or short period it depends on them and they also fall out of love not all for selfish interest

The cases happens everywhere

Point of correction...."Pali" means passport............while. "Docu" means document
Gerarahere. All you have been saying is they don't live abroad, they don't know Muritala. Wetin gan huh Is living abroad rocket science?

Commot joor! grin
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by AfroKnight: 4:05pm On Sep 15, 2015
The pictures don't mean he is cheating. Just harmless idle talk between 2 guys. Sad. This woman is trying very hard to please him but he is just not interested. It appears he is easily irritated by her and so the marriage is falling apart. Obviously the only thing keeping him in this marriage are the papers.

Sad. Friendship is missing.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Djicemob: 4:13pm On Sep 15, 2015
urchbarbie:
and God bless me too. The oda guy be saying I want to help destroy someones marraige. Its crystal clear dat our ppl dont learn
how wld they feel if thier feelings are taken for a ride. as I told d poster, d guy is just in d relationship to get his papers/documents/pali.....watever language she understnds. Scam musnt be monetary, ur feelings too can be scam
There is nothing harmful in the chat snapshots,i dont know how you came to your baseless conclusions.Talking about bedduties and papers like you some type of saddist or doomsday prophetess. angry
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody:
Okay
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody:
What means this with 49ja
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody:
Na de Journey
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by kingreign(m): 5:14pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
What means this with 49ja
You claim you're married to this man, you love him and trust him?
I don't think you do.

From your numerous picture screenshots, I can infer that you don't trust him, you don't love him, you always snoop around him and you're always suspicious of him.

In Europe, you Europeans would gladly sue his black arsé if he snoops around you and get a court order barring him from coming anywhere close to you, but this is what you're doing.
angry
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by akins56(m): 5:14pm On Sep 15, 2015
chigoizie7:
Number 1, no real and true "igbo" calls it "ibo".


Take a chill pill.
famous achebe did call it ibo, is he fake as well ?
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by akins56(m): 5:17pm On Sep 15, 2015
guy1234:
Abeg, make una no pour sand sand for person garri o. Una no know wetin d guyman dey face unto janded levels. Una know which kain gbege he leave for hia b4 he comot. Abeg if una no fit help una person, make una no jonze hin hustle. Our guymen for obodo Oyinbo dey suffer o, una go happy if den throway am come hia ni. Make una free d guy parole abeg. And I see say Na d babes dey para for d guymen pass. Abeg if Na una broda, una yarnings go change on top dis level.
na u sure pass jawe, no mind dos ajebo ITK wey dey explain for d babe, shey guyman no go smart again?! Make e una no spoil d guy hustle ooo, na opportunity!
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by Nobody: 5:20pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
What means dp
Woman! you want to destroy your marriage over nothing cos you saw sis in their chat.
Come up with something better, this excuse is lame cool
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by ebamma(m): 5:28pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
Na de Journey
that guy sounds like a hustler to me,



Anyway,


What does he do for a living over there?
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by AfroKnight: 5:31pm On Sep 15, 2015
Cityink:
This is why he is afraid she sleep with his friend Demoye, wich is married to and they have a child...living in Malaysia
Emmm... No. Actually, the woman I was talking about is you.

Your marriage is at a stage where one partner gets easily irritated by the other. You and your husband now live like flatmates who are just tolerating each other. That's why he frustrates your efforts once in a while.

You guys need to work on being friends not just married sex partners.

One thing is certain though, the conversation you posted is clearly unrelated to your marriage. It's just simple idle talk between buddies.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by urchbarbie(f): 5:36pm On Sep 15, 2015
chigoizie7:
Nekwanu onye nkea, nne, ebee ka inuu dat one?



As ibo is to person and igbo a language, then what about the tribe? Igo?


Just shut up if u don't know what to say.

I am an igbo, I speak igbo and my tribe is igbo.



As a yoruba? What are u? Yelowba? And ur language is yoruba while ur tribe is ofe mmanu?











Ignorance is a big disease, go and ask your parents were u came from, because it is clear that u re not an igbo.
onye igbo. Ure just an unrepentant fellow. Ure one of such fellows who wld marry a 75 yrs old woman to achieve ur selfish desires. See d handwriting on d wall, I wont trade insults with you, I am way too cultured/learned to do so. For my parents, they av done dier best in teaching me to know wats right/wrong. I wont cover evil. Many of us wont paint d truth. I av said my bits on d matter. its left for d oyibo lady to make her decision.
Re: I Am So Unhappy, So Helpless & Confused by urchbarbie(f): 5:37pm On Sep 15, 2015
400billionman:
Stop acting like you know too much..

Men will run away from you whenever they see that behaviour. .
if the men that wld run away are ur like or dat d op has shown me, I wld rather die a spinster/nun. Marriage cant determine my happiness. keep f00ling urself Mr Man.
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