Omole should try and be strong, she is a survivor. I really feel so much for her. Kudos.

HisMajesty1:

I'm so sorry I just saw this... I'm here... Following, good work.

Hi, sir. It's Bukky, Jasper's bro. Kindly reach me on +2340922343684. I lost my phone. All efforts to get back your number has been futile. Thanks.

Ni

OluwabuqqyYOLO:

Hi, sir. It's Bukky, Jasper's bro. Kindly reach me on +2340922343684. I lost my phone. All efforts to get back your number has been futile. Thanks.

Nice work..quite intense. You should give erot.ic literature a try. Your piece balances grammatical technicality with the raw depth of humanity of the characters.
Impressive.

OluwabuqqyYOLO:

I'm very contrite, sir, but plagiarism eats up scribes faster than flames does a dry wood. I need to make my works secured and accessible by trusted minds only. Also, it's an ongoing project yet, I don't want to publicize things that much.

Kindly try it now.

Still d same thing bro... BLOCKED! buh neva mind... Thanks

xender:
dis na superstory oo ..der don act am

I don't see Super Stories, much more, write what's been acted. I respect my writings and will always do anything to retain my cachet. If it's truly been acted, you should predict the story.

UjSizzle:
Hi. I'd say nice attempt but to be honest I'm still trying to wrap my head around the story.
This is what I got: A deaf and dumb girl was raped-- she seemed to want it. Her mother is cripple.

That said, I happen to have a very sensitive palette. I love my literature simple and fluid so perhaps I'm not your desired audience here (?)
You're verbose; some of the words you use can be substituted with less brain-racking ones. Makes your writing cleaner
You use too many breaks (full stops I mean.) Try playing around sentence length. Two long. On short. Use your commas.

Of course that's just my opinion.

The story has potential so I'll keep an eye on it.

Carry on.

You spoke my mind, nice story tho.

OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Special Invitees:
Fembleez1, Kitme, Harjibolar10, Prettydiva89, Dahprech, Lovingangel, Teebashy, Helenbee, Jezuzboi, Jayhaywhy, Gmekx, Stormangel, Queening, Just4yhu, Aipete2, Tsodjete, Nimk, Hismajesty1, TrishaP, Adeh39, Ayox1 and; all others I possibly can't mention.

wonder y dis mention ddnt show on my profile. Well...I'm here...following bumper to bumper

Howdy, guys?
I'm sorry I've not been able to type something for days now. I really am.

Updates resume today. I'll put something up by dusk. Cheers!

*peeping*

@OP nice story, i think you are on to something here ...

the story line is very strong, a deaf and dumb girl raped with a crippled mother but the only issue i have is that the first two parts of the story could have painted a better picture, i was a bit confused .

I would have liked to feel more for the victim as she walked home, felt her vulnerability when that man guessed what had happened to her, sensed his empathy for the girl, visualized her mothers helplessness when she heard what happened to her daughter, listened to her final thoughts as she grew weak in despair and finally died ....This would have prepared me for the next phase of the character , you can take the direction of this story now to a lot of places, you can either continue to build the story of tragedy that follows this young girl until she catches a break, or you can transform the story to how this situation strengthened her resolve and built this young victim into a fearless heroine or you can build this first parts to a background to the story of the child who eventually becomes someone powerful and traces his/her father.

Any which way it's a good story line as i said. Kudos to you.

I especially like the part of the young girl feeling special because of her disability, that's a nice one.

****Continued****

---

Omole brushed open the next page of the note it looked she was trying to construe. Her concentration hung on the page and her eyes snaked between lines with vivacity. She wasn't trying to go slowly. Special beings had to be delineated always. She was gala, too, though she must have felt she would have skimmed better if she wasn't. The chair she was on creaked - most probably to remind her weight would measure a cow. She was on the fat side, it must have been, then. The table she read on didn't mind it's compatriot and beamed at the image behind her text. Darkness was creeping through the city gutters and tunnels already. Mild breeze sailed in as the great green curtains danced wisely off and caressed her mild talcum skin. Clothes just didn't preclude gazes from piercing through. The fluorescent light she had on wavered a bit and shivered recklessly. The breeze made her beautiful. She was gazing through pages all on, yet.

She got up and fetched her uniform from the hooks she placed them. The blue skirt had made a hue and appeared smothered. White shirts had no problem. It glittered.

She resumed reading as fast as she could remember she needed to. Something must have been approaching. She hadn't fathom Constipation fully when she felt a touch. The touch smelt leaves and pork. She gasped. Aunt Isoka had prepared dinner again.

When would she cook well if Aunt Isoka didn't touch to help when it was time? The look she had seemed to show she wouldn't have readily stopped reading. It showed the thirst for pork, though.

Her aunt's face caressed a smile and tilted her head and she tugged silently at her feet. She didn't want the teasing.

'Prof.,' Aunt Isoka's hands moved. 'You're not sitting for WASSCE yet. It's just the normal exams.' It seemed she teased even with Efik signs. Omole's face was grinning as she prayed the teasing would fall back when they hit the brick she had mounted quickly. The bricks failed, simply. The teasing ran into her with gusto.

She got up and ambled after Aunt Isoka's buttocks. A smile was bent on splitting her face that second. The older woman sure had a way of getting her ameliorated. She wondered how prettily annoying school was with gazes that slipped under her robes always. She dodged a tease and grabbed the plates.

How she would survive without the gazes for months flummoxed her. She should not regret the pregnancy.

The aroma of pork clouded her senses, then.
****To Be Continued****

Hi, guys. I'm sorry I''m just putting up something now. I experienced a block.

Shalomdee:

You just penned down my own thoughts, its got potential but those big words will make comprehension difficult.

I'll work on that, ma'am. God bless.

this looks promising,
kudos man

Thanks, sir. Enjoy!

Alixe:
Nice

I'm glad.

Wendysmart:
your words are too BIG for me,am the simple type...but I grab your flow,at the initial stage I thought you were Thronekid...but what am seeing now tells me you're a different writer altogether.
I think its quite unfortunate that an incapacitated mother gave birth to an Incapcitated daughter.
Okay..your begining was eerie,i got the feeling that I was walking on someone's grave.
Nice one dear

Thank you very much, ma'am. I'm very glad I'm doing well. God bless!

Amusaopeyemi:
Hi Op. Please could you take it easy on the big big English? If you can substitute them with something people can understand please do.

I will, ma'am. Thanks.

jayfolarin:
This is a good read so far! Lovely!

Thank you, sir. Enjoy.

Smooth278:
Great story from an avid reader though I don't post stuff here a lot. .. will be following the story at weekly intervals... keep up the good work and for those complaining about the words pls carry a dictionary and check up some words; Sometimes we learn new words from the books we read so it's a good thing....

Thank you, sir. I'm very glad you flow.

fairygeh:
#following,nice story line and I like the fact that the OP has somehow taken to some corrections.

Thank you, ma'am. I think I've taken to all corrections. Is it not?

twinskenny:
Good skill bro.. more success

Thank you for your wish, sir. God bless!

Swissheart:
Interesting piece @op......I am in

I'm glad you're in. I'll drive you safely.

Niwdog:
Nice story buh your grammer no be here oo. You just ve to minimize it. Thanks

I will, sir. Thanks very much.

chukwueloka:
am really learning a lot about being a writer from this guy
this is a nice piece; can't even predict it.

I'm glad you are learning something from me, sir. God bless.

hayurmidey:
I'm marvelled at your writing skills. More grease to your elbows.

Thank you, sir.

Orikinla:
Well done.
The simpler your grammar the better.
She struggled for balance is better than she struggled for equilibrium .

Thank you, ma'am. Stay with me, please.

Richie0974:
I just have to keep my eyes on this one... Its been great so far. Nice one.

Thank you, sir. Enjoy.

nathie007:
Your writing is highly intensive, engaging and penetrating. Your use of grammar is impeccable. You have a flowery style that not only depict action, but the thought processes that predicated the events. Your choice of character- extra-intelligent vulnerables is highly appealing. I dare say that you got it in you! Bring it ON!

I'm very glad, sir. This comment could grow my head a hundred times. Thanks very much.

shankies215:
The first post looks like poetry......ur command of the language is impeccable ...nyc one op
....following

Thanks, ma'am. I'm glad you're following.

FameG:
Is it just me or Am i missing somtin. The main characters name was initially ONOME bt later it became OMOLE. Op pls clarify.

nyc story though. just reduce your grammar.

Kindly reads again, ma'am. It's been Omole all through.

Missmossy:
Omole should try and be strong, she is a survivor. I really feel so much for her. Kudos.

You bet. Stay with me, Miss.

Panzerfaust:
NiNice work..quite intense. You should give erot.ic literature a try. Your piece balances grammatical technicality with the raw depth of humanity of the characters.
Impressive.

Thank you very much, sir. I'm glad.

Regarding the Erötica piece, I'll cook up something very soon. I plan to, too.