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The Ash Rose - Literature - Nairaland

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The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 6:18pm On Aug 18, 2015
Copyright
©2015 by OluwabuqqyYOLO
oluwabuqqy_yolo@outlook.com

No part of this story may be reproduced by any means without the prior permission by the author. Anyone who wishes to repost this story to any other online forum, Facebook group, blog or any other website should endeavour to acknowledge the author's identity and kindly notify the author by sending him a mail.

God bless you all.
Re: The Ash Rose by TiffanyJ(f): 7:11pm On Aug 18, 2015
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
You guys could aid grace the thread and mend me up. Please:
Larrysun, Repogirl, Tiffanyj, Vonn (Your cobber, too), Simonhabby, Divepen1, and the other abound scribes and readers I possibly can't sojourn via their ascribes.
Thanks for inviting me

3 Likes

Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 8:12pm On Aug 18, 2015
Appreciation: Almighty Allah and my mom.


Acknowledgments: Larrysun, D9TY7, TiffanyJ and others.


She radius-zapped the molten earth road. Her strides augmented down the way. She wasn't smiling - not even a half - or maybe she didn't see the need to.
The sun had grown into it's bean age, and had decidedly quit been white as though children of God. A filcher had seemed to descend putting most light in his mini backpack. The street was almost dry, but nature's cruel heart provided her some company. Ants grumbled still on some crumbs. And cats mewed around. Generators didn't inflict cicatrice on breath, yet.

The rusting bronze milk colored tray with Murtala Mohammed art on it slipped off her head, almost, as her toe grazed a stone. She struggled for equilibrium and attained it. The piece of art seemed to ogle at her as if to lay complaints as she thought a beam fell on Murtala's face. His moustache seemed richer , darker, too.
That possibly couldn't have happened. It wasn't white anymore then. It was dark. Almost pitch dark.
She, at times, used to give thoughts to Murtala's face - during her leisure time- which was quite okay. There must have been a thing concerning his face that fascinated her.
Now, that wasn't a normal thing. Fifteen years old lasses weren't obsessed with faces - hardened ones.

Her thread-bared Brown gown didn't seem the easiest object to make out, then. But he did anyways.

A firm hand gripped her right shoulder.
Such acts surely weren't cobberly, even gentlemanly.
She farted out the equilibrium she had so much strove to garner moments ago. Rough hands grabbed her. And carried her.
She felt she defied gravity as she laid aplomp-like in air. His arms hair poked her buttock.
He definitely was bestowed with Murtala's attributes.

She kicked. Nailed. And pulled. That didn't help.

He laid her down on the wooden board she had sometimes noticed in an Autos mechanic's stall.
Yehuwa! Who didn't acced to demolishing such stalls?
He tore her down. She opened her mouth.
She tried to make a scream but he saw no need to be jittery That could plot his fall. That should plot his fall.

Sounds failed her. None sensible pierced his ear buds. She didn't. Screams were germane in such times. She needed it. Maybe she was aching to misplace her hymen, already.
His throbbing manhood plunged in her heat. Blood squirted out her heat. He roughly handled her bossoms. She gasped. She lost it. Her virginity.
Not all girls loathed being raped, it turned out. She didn't scream sensibly after all. She could have hollaed a name. Screamed. Anything. But she didn't. She seemed to love it.

The rapist was done already and he left just the way he had come. A ghost rapist. Her gloating didn't help. She had to bear the brunt. Afterall, she didn't call for help.

As she walked home, someone signed at her. She didn't talk, still. Gesticulating helped, instead.
But she needed to talk. Pretense wouldn't have profited her. She saw his face after all.
Then, a man realized, she was dumb. Probably deaf, too.

Dumb. Deaf. Those were certain. She was special. Special bar she wasn't rare.

But what man would forcefully plunge her? Apparently, not all animals with a scrawny tail between their thighs were lackeys of having a cachet to protect.

And to dehydrate the fire further he hadn't torched off. She must have seen his face. Truly.

*****To Be Continued*****

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 8:22pm On Aug 18, 2015
TiffanyJ:

Thanks for inviting me
You're most welcomed, ma'am. Thanks.
Re: The Ash Rose by LarrySun(m): 12:30am On Aug 19, 2015
Can you kindly space out your paragraphs for easier reading?

1 Like

Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 6:43am On Aug 19, 2015
LarrySun:
Can you kindly space out your paragraphs for easier reading?
Of course, sir. You are welcome.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 10:45am On Aug 19, 2015
B



He hopped off her with a stallion's vivacity. His manhood had been sated, seemingly. It longer didn't tent pitch in his shorts anymore. Blood had soiled his brown shirt. Squirted blood.

The sky should have envisaged what he had done earlier. That could depict why the night had grown dark. Truly dark. He couldn't dilineate what color even his shorts were. A owl cried in the distance. That potrayed evil. His heart thumped rapidly. It throbbed.

The blood soiling his shirt felt wet. Sticky. He tore it outrightly. And kangarooed quickly. He knew he hadn't seek darkness when he comitted the act. He should have torched off. He felt she saw him.
That should be the worst feeling. Knowing your evil deed wasn't really concealed. The feeling the beggar begot after swindling the Major General.

The liquid in his heart should have strained a bit. A dumb deaf wouldn't identify him that easily - probably never. No one told him she could sketch. His piercing eyes were an arduos to art down even.

He hopped in the waiting car.

"Drive! Drive!!" the words revelled in his agitation, and came out in jerks.

"Calm down, Stan. " a behind the wheel bloke salvaged.
Maybe he felt a saviour. But some states could be irredeemable. He could be shamed.

"I said, drive! Tom, drive!"
Not all twenty-one years old had their hearts embroided in Moremi's blood. Stan was one.

The car purred irritatingly. It revved, and drove off.


A sot stare-followed the retreating car. A laugh followed. A laugh. The walls of Jericho came falling.

Stan shuddered. The laugh had scalps on a mad woman's palms.

****To Be Continued****

1 Like 3 Shares

Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 10:56am On Aug 19, 2015
Special Invitees:
Fembleez1, Kitme, Harjibolar10, Prettydiva89, Dahprech, Lovingangel, Teebashy, Helenbee, Jezuzboi, Jayhaywhy, Gmekx, Stormangel, Queening, Just4yhu, Aipete2, Tsodjete, Nimk, Hismajesty1, TrishaP, Adeh39, Ayox1 and; all others I possibly can't mention.
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 11:24am On Aug 19, 2015
You guys could, please, help mend me up:
Niftyrules, emilygold, dakkylove, prettytinah, mhiztee, HDoc, remiseyi, successismine, mamziii, MzEspoir, hardeyshinor, tigar007, D9ty7, Skimpledawg, Bryan812, dimssy, hibeekay2015, sammyT6631, lumiaphone, alesey, and other literati lander.

1 Like

Re: The Ash Rose by Nobody: 3:02pm On Aug 19, 2015
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Special Invitees:
Fembleez1, Kitme, Harjibolar10, Prettydiva89, Dahprech, Lovingangel, Teebashy, Helenbee, Jezuzboi, Jayhaywhy, Gmekx, Stormangel, Queening, Just4yhu, Aipete2, Tsodjete, Nimk, Hismajesty1, TrishaP, Adeh39, Ayox1 and; all others I possibly can't mention.
Am here thanks
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 6:03pm On Aug 19, 2015
C



Omole limped further. The old man behind her struggled to keep up. He gave no good fight even with her battered state. The red milk that bleed out her heat gave her a fright, still. Her head wouldn't come to terms with her just yet. She just had been raped. She was fluxommed to her mom's condition. Her fright grew wings when it zapped her mind what her mom would say.
No. She shouldn't give thoughts to that. Her mom probably must have seen life too well.

Other thoughts crawled her mind. Special beings were't supposed to be raped. Her teacher told her. They did't deserve to be overpowered. They deserved care. She never knew her aunt a bare white garmented prophet.

She found her mom seated. Not in their ant's coven but in a spacious yard.
Her mom should have been sprawling on the floor. She wasn't. What good mother wouldn't with a deaf and dumb daughter still out past nine. Probably why she had her daughter hawking. Might be she had written her off already. A cracked shell snail would win no race.

Tears streamed down her mother's cheeks. The liquid replaced the previously strained ones. Omole walked faster towards her. She felt she needed to console her. She wrapped her hands around her shoulders, and cupped her mom's tears. She shielded her garment of pride from her mom. She muffled her own tears.
Omole was too sharp for a deaf dumb girl. She seemed not to further dip her mom in a striving mare.

The woman had weak eyesights. But she could tell the moon from the stars. Blood on a child you bore wasn't a thing that required botanical knowledge to see. The woman grew scared. She only could hope Omole hadn't been deceived. The greatest trauma a daughter could know.

Omole knew her mom deserved better treatment. She wasn't supposed to know. The woman must have seen life well. She believed her sad mother needn't an explanation that night. She tried to help her up. The woman obliged, like she read her daughter's mind. The woman couldn't stand. Walk.
The woman must truly have seen life. A cripple having a deaf dumb gift from God. Many would have been welcomed by God - into hell. Devil, maybe. Many folks believed suicide was genocide. It could explain why she wasn't sprawling in mud. A back stroke was not a friend that granted much freedom.

The old woman stopped short at Pa Bramo's voice. The man followed Omole home. Yehuwa.
She felt sleepy already. She ached to get in her dreams already. She needed to have a session with God. But still she waited. Pa Bramo supposing deserved more. He had often helped them out. Being rude had adverse effects.

He walked closer. Omole broke totally down. She had hurt her mom. The woman would die. The old man wasted no time in breaking the news. It was dark already and he needed to return home.

The old woman's weight suddenly grew heavier. Omole felt a train rested on her. The woman fell face down. Iniquity took it's toll on her anew.

She should not survive.

****To Be Continued****

2 Likes

Re: The Ash Rose by Dahprech(f): 4:40am On Aug 20, 2015
Thanks for the mention,tho i don't really know much about writing,but i always enjoy reading literature especially if it make sense and i think you started well so i would support in my own little way.
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
You guys could, please, help mend me up:
Niftyrules, emilygold, dakkylove, prettytinah, mhiztee, HDoc, remiseyi, successismine, mamziii, MzEspoir, hardeyshinor, tigar007, D9ty7, Skimpledawg, Bryan812, dimssy, hibeekay2015, sammyT6631, lumiaphone, alesey, and other literati lander.
Re: The Ash Rose by harjibolar10(m): 6:47am On Aug 20, 2015
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Special Invitees:
Fembleez1, Kitme, Harjibolar10, Prettydiva89, Dahprech, Lovingangel, Teebashy, Helenbee, Jezuzboi, Jayhaywhy, Gmekx, Stormangel, Queening, Just4yhu, Aipete2, Tsodjete, Nimk, Hismajesty1, TrishaP, Adeh39, Ayox1 and; all others I possibly can't mention.
I'm here bros....

maka siddon fost
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 9:31am On Aug 20, 2015
prettydiva89:
Am here thanks
You are welcome, ma'am.
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 9:33am On Aug 20, 2015
Dahprech:
Thanks for the mention,tho i don't really know much about writing,but i always enjoy reading literature especially if it make sense and i think you started well so i would support in my own little way.
Thanks very much, ma'am. You are great.
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 9:34am On Aug 20, 2015
harjibolar10:
I'm here bros....
maka siddon fost
You are welcome, bro.
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 10:50am On Aug 20, 2015
Ujsizzle, will you, please, come read?
Divepen1, you don't want to help.
Larrysun, you aint tutoring yet.
Tiffanyj, I await.
Re: The Ash Rose by Aipete2(f): 11:50am On Aug 20, 2015
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Special Invitees:
Fembleez1, Kitme, Harjibolar10, Prettydiva89, Dahprech, Lovingangel, Teebashy, Helenbee, Jezuzboi, Jayhaywhy, Gmekx, Stormangel, Queening, Just4yhu, Aipete2, Tsodjete, Nimk, Hismajesty1, TrishaP, Adeh39, Ayox1 and; all others I possibly can't mention.
am with you dearie
Re: The Ash Rose by Fembleez1(m): 12:30pm On Aug 20, 2015
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Special Invitees:
Fembleez1, Kitme, Harjibolar10, Prettydiva89, Dahprech, Lovingangel, Teebashy, Helenbee, Jezuzboi, Jayhaywhy, Gmekx, Stormangel, Queening, Just4yhu, Aipete2, Tsodjete, Nimk, Hismajesty1, TrishaP, Adeh39, Ayox1 and; all others I possibly can't mention.



This mention didn't show on me profile initially but i got it through some other means.









Anywayz, i will be back boss to read at my leisure cause i'm absolutely busy right now!
Re: The Ash Rose by Fembleez1(m): 12:32pm On Aug 20, 2015
you write like thronekid and i'm guessing this is you except you don't want your identity, known. wink

1 Like

Re: The Ash Rose by harjibolar10(m): 1:24pm On Aug 20, 2015
Fembleez1:
you write like thronekid and i'm guessing this is you except you don't want your identity, known. wink
I don't want to be too forward also.. ..


Still waiting thou
Re: The Ash Rose by UjSizzle(f): 2:38pm On Aug 20, 2015
Hi. I'd say nice attempt but to be honest I'm still trying to wrap my head around the story.
This is what I got: A deaf and dumb girl was raped-- she seemed to want it. Her mother is cripple.

That said, I happen to have a very sensitive palette. I love my literature simple and fluid so perhaps I'm not your desired audience here (?)
You're verbose; some of the words you use can be substituted with less brain-racking ones. Makes your writing cleaner smiley
You use too many breaks (full stops I mean.) Try playing around sentence length. Two long. On short. Use your commas.

Of course that's just my opinion.

The story has potential so I'll keep an eye on it.

Carry on.

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Ash Rose by ConsueloSings(f): 6:00pm On Aug 20, 2015
Wow. The story is really a nice one. Nice story line. I like the fact that we can get into the characters' head. The diction however, is very complex; the choice of words is also very technical.
I'll honestly say you should give poetry a shot because your words have this 'poetic edge' around them. With the story line, and the way you write, you could just come up with a nice epic narrative.
kudos

7 Likes

Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 7:21pm On Aug 20, 2015
[quote author=UjSizzle post=37154991]Hi. I'd say nice attempt but to be honest I'm still trying to wrap my head around the story.
This is what I got: A deaf and dumb girl was raped-- she seemed to want it. Her mother is cripple.

That said, I happen to have a very sensitive palette. I love my literature simple and fluid so perhaps I'm not your desired audience here (?)
You're verbose; some of the words you use can be substituted with less brain-racking ones. Makes your writing cleaner smiley
You use too
Thanks, ma'am. I'll work on your points. Omole didn't want to be raped, I only accentuated on her deafness, and inability to talk. Some dumb can't disassemble a gathering of wild birds, ma'am.
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 7:22pm On Aug 20, 2015
Fembleez1:
you write like thronekid and i'm guessing this is you except you don't want your identity, known. wink
I wouldn't claim to be that guy. A link to one of his works, please.
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 7:24pm On Aug 20, 2015
harjibolar10:
I don't want to be too forward also.. ..


Still waiting thou
Bad hunch, sir.
Re: The Ash Rose by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 7:28pm On Aug 20, 2015
ConsueloSings:
Wow. The story is really a nice one. Nice story line. I like the fact that we can get into the characters' head. The diction however, is very complex; the choice of words is also very technical.
I'll honestly say you should give poetry a shot because your words have this 'poetic edge' around them. With the story line, and the way you write, you could just come up with a nice epic narrative.
kudos
Thanks, ma'am. Stay with me. Amazing username.
Re: The Ash Rose by TiffanyJ(f): 7:56pm On Aug 20, 2015
I have read your work. Its really touching but your diction I must say is a bit too complex. Keep writing sir, I am here.

1 Like

Re: The Ash Rose by blackmarya(f): 9:18pm On Aug 20, 2015
cool and nice write up, i'm loving it keep it coming
Re: The Ash Rose by mployer(m): 10:08pm On Aug 20, 2015
UjSizzle:
Hi. I'd say nice attempt but to be honest I'm still trying to wrap my head around the story.
This is what I got: A deaf and dumb girl was raped-- she seemed to want it. Her mother is cripple.

That said, I happen to have a very sensitive palette. I love my literature simple and fluid so perhaps I'm not your desired audience here (?)
You're verbose; some of the words you use can be substituted with less brain-racking ones. Makes your writing cleaner smiley
You use too many breaks (full stops I mean.) Try playing around sentence length. Two long. On short. Use your commas.

Of course that's just my opinion.

The story has potential so I'll keep an eye on it.

Carry on.

My thoughts exactly wink grin




I luv ma baby kiss kiss
Re: The Ash Rose by ConsueloSings(f): 9:24am On Aug 21, 2015
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Thanks, ma'am. Stay with me. Amazing username.
you are welcome. You bet! I will. and thanks, I'm flattered

1 Like

Re: The Ash Rose by Kitme(f): 3:24pm On Aug 21, 2015
I have a feeling this is thronekid, please don't deny. embarassed
I'm following tho'

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