₦airaland Forum

Amustical:
HEAR WHAT A MOTHER TOLD HER DAUGHTER ON
HER WEDDING DAY
.
My daughter,you are now a wife and soon you'll
be become a mother too. God bear me witness
that I taught you how to cook and do other house
chores. I taught you to respect men and to
explain your anger when necessary but if you do
otherwise,i know you,not as a daughter but as my
fellow woman.
My daughter,you see this your husband? He is a
gentleman but don't take advantage of that. Don't
bring out the beast in him. My daughter,you see
this mark on my forehead?
Your father gave it to me.He tolerated me
everytime but on that day,He came unexpectedly.
It wasn't his intention but i dared him and he hit
me just once
My daughter,Men hate it when you use the word
"YOU CAN'T DO IT".He sure can do more than but
he's just protecting you from harm.
My daughter, whenever there is an arguement or
misunderstanding, try drinking water.You can't
talk when you have water in your mouth.
Now,you have two families.You are very
lucky.Tolerate and appreciate them just as you
did here.
Learn to welcome other people's kids and soon,
children will sorround your table with love.
You see that my big pot? I bought it when i still
had no child but i always cooked with it to feed
those children who had nothing to eat.
Learn to show hospitality. Welcome a visitor and
at least,offer a glass of water.Don't discriminate.
Don't shatter your husband's family. instead,
bring them together.
Learn to appreciate little efforts and soon,they'll
learn to do more.
Today,you are wearing a wedding gown and you
look so beautiful in it but there is still another
gown you need to wear.That is the MATERNITY
gown. I wore it and you shall wear your's too.
When you have a misundertanding, don't come
back here.Sort things out and build a happy
home.I built mine and your father enjoyed me.
Men like food.They like both the kITCHEN food
and the BEDROOM food.Don't deny him any of
the food all because you had an arguement.
If the ones i taught you are not enough, learn
more!

Beautiful words from a wise woman of a time past, but sadly the airheads we have today will never listen that's why marriages are crumbling faster than a speeding bullet.

freshvine:
My dear thumb up for your orientation concerning gender equality and respect. Your mom did good.

My advice to you in this life is NEVER tolerate any form of abuse whether physical or emotional from your future husband. Just kick him out from your life and look for another man. If they cannot be Perfect let them rot in hell like your mom ex husband.

To you never verbally abuse your husband, if you do and he responds back, dump his ass cos if you allow him the pleasure of responding someday he might go physical.

Keep it up and do not hesitate to dump any man who has the audacity to be irrational at any point in time. Women in the West have embrace single motherhood, baby mamas why can't we enact same here or even surpass their record?

Nawaaaooooo!

raayah:
Very Very bad Advice!

Look, my own mother suffered abuse in the hands of her husband after doing heaven and earth for him. You know what my mother told me one day? She sat me down and said, "Raayah. My husband does not love me, If he did, he will not abuse me like this for no reason".

Weeks after that, She moved out and hasn't looked back. She is planning to return the dowry to his people very soon. Life is so much better for her. No more spending nights at the hospital,(Yes, that's how serious the physical and mental abuse was), no more tears.. Life is good!

If you choose to stay with an abusive man because of the "children" or because you cannot "live independently", then say so. Don't tell women to stay with men with abusive men..
Same advice for men, don't stay with abusive women. They can kill

She dared him by doing what? How many of you will fight an agbero who dares you, or a man who disrespects you, Not a lot!
But when it comes to your wife, she does something wrong, you decide to give her head injury!
All of you justifying this abuse are cowards, yes I said it!

You just read the part that interests you. Why not read the whole thing through. Even the part you have beef with could be read with an open mind for all its worth.

That kitchen and bedroom side sweet me like okro and vegetable soup......chai




[b][/b]uru di ya

softysparky:
Nawaaaooooo!

Pure sarcasm

raayah:
Very Very bad Advice!

Look, my own mother suffered abuse in the hands of her husband after doing heaven and earth for him. You know what my mother told me one day? She sat me down and said, "Raayah. My husband does not love me, If he did, he will not abuse me like this for no reason".

Weeks after that, She moved out and hasn't looked back. She is planning to return the dowry to his people very soon. Life is so much better for her. No more spending nights at the hospital,(Yes, that's how serious the physical and mental abuse was), no more tears.. Life is good!

If you choose to stay with an abusive man because of the "children" or because you cannot "live independently", then say so. Don't tell women to stay with men with abusive men..
Same advice for men, don't stay with abusive women. They can kill

She dared him by doing what? How many of you will fight an agbero who dares you, or a man who disrespects you, Not a lot!
But when it comes to your wife, she does something wrong, you decide to give her head injury!
All of you justifying this abuse are cowards, yes I said it!

Nairaland's women rights activist has spoken.

refreshrate:
Im really sorry about your mum having to go thru this. God knows its the most unkind thing a man can do to someone he calls his partner. Much as we would like to blame him this story i beg to say is one sided. Women can be a real pain in the brain when they want to be. Being insensitive to your husband to the extent of this, seriously it takes two.
You sha wont come and say there was nothing between both of them when they decided to tie the knot? Did the man just wake up one day and decided to start beating the woman?
Besides love and money i think marriage quotes carry the most advises given to anyone - i stand corrected.
If both parties understood and accepted they were both responsible for the break down to this point, trust me this wouldnt be an issue. You honestly think theres any couple that doesnt have their own fair share of issues and challenges?
Sure blame it on the man afterall hes the head. When the bible says it is better to stay in the corner of a roof than with a nagging woman, did you think it was just to make the pages full? Once again i apologize for the way things went with her, but if you as a person dont begin to address these issues and have a better understanding with a clear view of marital values, its only going to repeat the cycle again with you, im sorry to say. Please understand i do not say these things to spite or anger you, but if it takes just this to help you realise the steps youre taking as unfair to even yourself please let it be. You think shes happy having to return dowry and stuff?
Think about this deeply.
You cant go into marriage with this psyche itll destroy a lot of things.

.....
good talk my mahn.,dis has got to be the best advice given so far. Why all the insults on the Lady, her view of the above subject is way bad, i think she should be corrected by folks with matured minds, and if she reads some of the posts i have she should know better.

Jephery:
.....
good talk my mahn.,dis has got to be the best advice given so far. Why all the insults on the Lady, her view of the above subject is way bad, i think she should be corrected by folks with matured minds, and if she reads some of the posts i have she should know better.

*head swells* lol thanks bro

BabyDaddy20:
The girl must be a Yoruba girl.
They're good at nothing.
They're dirt, don't know how to cook, have sex outside their matrimonial home and to crown it all, their pusssy stinks.

are you for real, sir? quel domage!

My own mum taught me that if my husband for any sick reason lays his hands on me, I'm well within my rights to get his azz arrested. That's one advice I'd be keeping in mind not this BS

Stillfire:
Why won't the husband give her uppercuts? If she can dish out this kind of foolishness to her daughter you can imagine the foolishness she would have displayed in the marriage. The husband has my utmost support. No be only mark, he should have broken her cockroach bones, and saved us from her foolishness. Nansense!

Stillfire
Raging fire.

Lmao. For all their good wifeism, I wonder why our women still remain one of the most abused along with a few other countries.

Don't bring out the beast in him indeed. If someone has a beast in them, do they need anyone to help them bring it out?

InHim4Him:
You just read the part that interests you. Why not read the whole thing through. Even the part you have beef with could be read with an open mind for all its worth.

Yea because there's nothing wrong with the other parts of the post.
Like showing hospitality etc.

I may not "sabi" book o, but when it comes to serving as the MC at your Wedding Reception, I can boldly say that it is my thing! Let's give your wedding reception a professional touch.... Contact Kanby on 07030828285. BBM: 565085F0

I surely want to be that mother.

raayah:
Yes he is.. why should I lie to myself? There are good people and bad people everywhere. Unfortunately, he was a bad man!

Sometimes silence is golden, no matter what some things are better left unsaid. Just look at kinda picture your painting of your dad and to think you just acknowledged he's a beast speaks volume.

raayah:
Very Very bad Advice!

Look, my own mother suffered abuse in the hands of her husband after doing heaven and earth for him. You know what my mother told me one day? She sat me down and said, "Raayah. My husband does not love me, If he did, he will not abuse me like this for no reason".

Weeks after that, She moved out and hasn't looked back. She is planning to return the dowry to his people very soon. Life is so much better for her. No more spending nights at the hospital,(Yes, that's how serious the physical and mental abuse was), no more tears.. Life is good!

If you choose to stay with an abusive man because of the "children" or because you cannot "live independently", then say so. Don't tell women to stay with men with abusive men..
Same advice for men, don't stay with abusive women. They can kill

She dared him by doing what? How many of you will fight an agbero who dares you, or a man who disrespects you, Not a lot!
But when it comes to your wife, she does something wrong, you decide to give her head injury!
All of you justifying this abuse are cowards, yes I said it!

Dear Raayah, heartfelt apologies about what your mom went through. I hope the experience makes you a better and stronger person.
Back to the matter,peruse the post again, the mother was never in support of domestic abuse, all she said was never goad the husband into losing his cool which I believe is different from accept all form of abuse in the hope that he will change. Cheers

sauceEEP:
Sometimes silence is golden, no matter what some things are better left unsaid. Just look at kinda picture your painting of your dad and to think you just acknowledged he's a beast speaks volume.

We are anonymous on the internet. Sometimes a person needs to know that he is wrong. We cannot sugarcoat things.

BabyDaddy20:
The girl must be a Yoruba girl.
They're good at nothing.
They're dirt, don't know how to cook, have sex outside their matrimonial home and to crown it all, their pusssy stinks.

d level of your stupidity is so high... Can't even comprehend it...

raayah:
Very Very bad Advice!

Look, my own mother suffered abuse in the hands of her husband after doing heaven and earth for him. You know what my mother told me one day? She sat me down and said, "Raayah. My husband does not love me, If he did, he will not abuse me like this for no reason".

Weeks after that, She moved out and hasn't looked back. She is planning to return the dowry to his people very soon. Life is so much better for her. No more spending nights at the hospital,(Yes, that's how serious the physical and mental abuse was), no more tears.. Life is good!

If you choose to stay with an abusive man because of the "children" or because you cannot "live independently", then say so. Don't tell women to stay with men with abusive men..
Same advice for men, don't stay with abusive women. They can kill

She dared him by doing what? How many of you will fight an agbero who dares you, or a man who disrespects you, Not a lot!
But when it comes to your wife, she does something wrong, you decide to give her head injury!
All of you justifying this abuse are cowards, yes I said it!

Eyyah.. Sorry you have an abusive home... My Father has never beat me let alone my mother...
I hate feminazist but really, no maan should beat his wife, there are many ways to solve problems than beating...

BabyDaddy20:
The girl must be a Yoruba girl.
They're good at nothing.
They're dirt, don't know how to cook, have sex outside their matrimonial home and to crown it all, their pusssy stinks.

In life, some people can't be reasoned with so they have to be banished from the face of the earth for ever....they have to be murdered.

Ibos can't be reasoned with anymore and this goes beyond the internet.

How can you put this sort of thing on the internet where you have millions of Yoruba youths watching on a site owned by a Yoruba? Don't you realise the future leaders of Yoruba nation/Nigeria are seeing this open hate you have for them while still flocking to their land and prospering?

I know one day all these insults will crystallize into actual
violence on ground and all Ibos will know one alcatraz001/always warned them on nairaland.

Continue digging ibo graves....

raayah:
Very Very bad Advice!

Look, my own mother suffered abuse in the hands of her husband after doing heaven and earth for him. You know what my mother told me one day? She sat me down and said, "Raayah. My husband does not love me, If he did, he will not abuse me like this for no reason".

Weeks after that, She moved out and hasn't looked back. She is planning to return the dowry to his people very soon. Life is so much better for her. No more spending nights at the hospital,(Yes, that's how serious the physical and mental abuse was), no more tears.. Life is good!

If you choose to stay with an abusive man because of the "children" or because you cannot "live independently", then say so. Don't tell women to stay with men with abusive men..
Same advice for men, don't stay with abusive women. They can kill

She dared him by doing what? How many of you will fight an agbero who dares you, or a man who disrespects you, Not a lot!
But when it comes to your wife, she does something wrong, you decide to give her head injury!
All of you justifying this abuse are cowards, yes I said it!

You are a product of a CAT AND RAT relationship,thus,it is your biznexx.. But If you think leaving yur future husband is cool because your mum did so,then you must be an EMPTY VESSEL

Joy1706:
My own mum taught me that if my husband for any sick reason lays his hands on me, I'm well within my rights to get his azz arrested. That's one advice I'd be keeping in mind not this BS

Who will bail him after?. Think smart my dear,for there is no perfect method to live happily in marriage. Love and prayers with forgiving heart gives you beautiful home

linusbnn:
You are a product of a CAT AND RAT relationship,thus,it is your biznexx.. But If you think leaving yur future husband is cool because your mum did so,then you must be an EMPTY VESSEL

where in my post did I talking about leaving my future husband because of my mom.

linusbnn:
Who will bail him after?. Think smart my dear,for there is no perfect method to live happily in marriage. Love and prayers with forgiving heart gives you beautiful home

why didn't my husband forgive me instead of injuring me.. is it only women that should forgive

Alcatraz001:
In life, some people can't be reasoned with so they have to be banished from the face of the earth for ever....they have to be murdered.

Ibos can't be reasoned with anymore and this goes beyond the internet.

How can you put this sort of thing on the internet where you have millions of Yoruba youths watching on a site owned by a Yoruba? Don't you realise the future leaders of Yoruba nation/Nigeria are seeing this open hate you have for them while still flocking to their land and prospering?

I know one day all these insults will crystallize into actual
violence on ground and all Ibos will know one alcatraz001/always warned them on nairaland.

Continue digging ibo graves....

Don't mind the ignorant on nairaland, they do not know the consequences of their words.

Happiness87:
here are the lines


pay attention to the emboldened parts
the woman clearly acknowledged that she was at fault, she has been acting that way, but the man used to tolerate her.

but She went too far that day and the man mistakenly hit him, unexpectedly, she also said that was the only time her husband had laid hands on her.

This is reality, not trying to fantasize perfection. She made her points very clear. Am not supporting any form of maltreatment, but this is real, mistakes could happen and the woman clearly stated that she was at fault hence advising her daughter not to take advantage of his husband's calmness, her point is very clear

one deadly mistake that she made cost her an injury... What if it had been harder and she had gotten a broken skull and died! One mistake to another. People make mistakes day and night! Why beat her up for one mistake?

raayah:
When a bus touts/agbero dares you , you men will cower and hide but when a woman talks backs , you strike because you know you can win!

Abusive men are cowards!

I can perceive from ur comments that u have very bad orientation.

See, no marriage is and will ever be perfect. As times goes on, misunderstanding, arguments, and emotional or physical abuse tend to set-in in different form. The qxn is what will be ur attitude towards resolving it when such happens? Dump the marriage or apply wisdom to work it out?

See, divorce is worst than physical death. U may not understand if u lack wisdom. U may not understand the emotional trauma ur mom may be going through now. U don't want to experience it girl!

Seek wisdom, knowledge and understanding it will help u in life.

Going with ur kind of mentality is destructive to the society.

Men can never be abusive when u trend with wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Face reality.

BabyDaddy20:
The girl must be a Yoruba girl.
They're good at nothing.
They're dirt, don't know how to cook, have sex outside their matrimonial home and to crown it all, their pusssy stinks.

receive sense

raayah:
Very Very bad Advice!

Look, my own mother suffered abuse in the hands of her husband after doing heaven and earth for him. You know what my mother told me one day? She sat me down and said, "Raayah. My husband does not love me, If he did, he will not abuse me like this for no reason".

Weeks after that, She moved out and hasn't looked back. She is planning to return the dowry to his people very soon. Life is so much better for her. No more spending nights at the hospital,(Yes, that's how serious the physical and mental abuse was), no more tears.. Life is good!

If you choose to stay with an abusive man because of the "children" or because you cannot "live independently", then say so. Don't tell women to stay with men with abusive men..
Same advice for men, don't stay with abusive women. They can kill

She dared him by doing what? How many of you will fight an agbero who dares you, or a man who disrespects you, Not a lot!
But when it comes to your wife, she does something wrong, you decide to give her head injury!
All of you justifying this abuse are cowards, yes I said it!

Did you understand what you quoted?
Did you get the "he is a gentleman but don't take advantage of him"?
Did you understand the" he tolerated me EVERYTIME"?
Or you didn't understand the " it wasn't his intention but I dared him and he hit me once"?
What has these three statements got to do with an abusive marriage? Please enlighten me on how the statements above relate to an abusive marriage cause all I understand from what you quoted is that the mother has a loving husband who tolerated her misbehaviours everytime as she stated and the day the husband hit her it's because she dared him and he hit her outta anger just ONCE. So if there's anything abusive here, lemme know.

African best advice for women

raayah:
one deadly mistake that she made cost her an injury... What if it had been harder and she had gotten a broken skull and died! One mistake to another. People make mistakes day and night! Why beat her up for one mistake?

no need for all these arguments, read it again, she said she has been doing it, not once and her husband have been tolerating her,