₦airaland Forum

NoIgwegbe:
Since I've started reading Nairaland, from what I have been reading here about how Nigerian men percieve Nigerian women, the only question running through my mind is " WHy would a NIgerian woman want to marry such men?"
Seriously being a man is not about having a penis. it takes more. Most men here talk more like animals who did not suck the breasts of their mother. like people who do not have mothers, sisters, or who would not have daughters in future.
I keep asking myself. Where do these people come from? Who trained men like these? WHy would a woman want to marry men like these?
NIgerian men, your mentality is why NIgerian women who are rich prefer to remain single.
They prefer to remain single. It was a conscious decision. They are not crying in their pillows, so save the sympathy for yourselves. you need it more. since you are both broke and single, and eagerly looking for rich working class women to take you out of your misery.

I am not saying that there are no women who sleep in church praying for husbands, there are miserable souls like that, but these days, most women are not so eager to marry the kind of men we have nowadays.

NIgerian men, you need to grow up. You need to search yourselves and find out first what it is to be a human being to your fellow human being. you need to understand what it means to love your neighbour as yourself.
Some men here, even argue that it is okay for a man to rape a woman simply because she drank his bottle of coke. 60m naira coke. And you wonder why NIgerian women prefer to remain single than be shackled with men like these?
Nigerian men, you need to sit down and understand what it is to be a man or a human being, before looking for single women to mock and blame for your sorrows in life.

NoIgwegbe:
Thank you tensazangetsu: You took it right out of my mouth. These men on Nairaland, or Nigeria generally make it seem as if marriage is a good thing. WHo told you those girls are crying because they are not married? How are you sure they want to marry?
Previously women had no choice than to tolerate abusive marriages with men, because the men were richer, but now that women are richer, women are also reluctant to marry so early and just because, after all they watched their mothers and aunties suffer in the name of marriage. Those old men sleeping with young girls are they not married men?
Do they not have wives at home who weep every night because they so called husbands are with one small girl in one hotel instead of being by their sides.
Marriage is overrated. The earlier you Nairaland boys and Nigerian men get it into your head that the most important thing bothering a girl is not marriage, the less bitter your lives will be about single women. it is not that serious.

The men wailing that they cannot find jobs, have they never heard of something called entrepreneurship? Can't they try to start their own businesses, and struggle initially but grow later.
It is either the men are lazy or they are spoilt. They will not do anything except it is an an office with an AC or an official car, yet they come her to blame single women for their woes in life.
some of these men, when they see a girl hustling, who is doing her business, employing herself, they will say 'No, Na only working class babe, I wan marry.'
When the working class babe rejects them, they say 'women like money that is why they are single.'
You nko that is chasing only working class babe, don't you like money? Are you not a gold digger? SOme guys will even ask you where do you work before they ask you your name.
Oboy it is your high taste that is keeping you single, stop blaming the Rich single ladies. Cut your coat according to your clothe. Simple and short.

EVILFOREST:
Good morning.
I respect your opinion

Though the OP, made little sense but I will crave his indulgence in SUBSEQUENT REASONS other Nairalanders will put up.

But the most DISHEARTENING POINT is NIGERIA'S long exposure to BAD LEADERSHIP.

we have had leaders both FEDERAL and STATE levels who don't have any Idea or what it takes to transform quality economic policies into reasonable outcomes.

BAD LEADERSHIP.
IF only we had had sound LONG TERM PLANNING SKILLS in NIGERIA, we wouldn't have been caught unawares by this national mayhem called UNEMPLOYMENT.. Rather than blaming it on WOMEN employment and empowerment.

I prefer marrying an employable EMPOWERED lady than a slot who sits at home watching kenneth okonkwo movies. How do you expect such a lady to be CEREBRAL......?

The worst is we are still exposed to BAD LEADERSHIP.

NIGERIA as a nation since 1960 could have been well powered by LONDON'S HEATHROW AIRPORT which operates with 5000megawatts.

In 1960s,......... people were begged to go SCHOOLS and were trained by communities. Then we had MORE WHITE COLLAR OPPORTUNITIES waiting for them.

In 1975....The number of UNDERGRADUATES and GRADUATES started increasing with our USELESS LEADERS doing little to nothing to increasing the SPACES that will absorb them. Through investments and Agriculture as well as improving POWER to facilitate SME businesses.

In 1985... Our leaders still remained USELESS were just interested in COUPS and Creating JOBS through STATE CREATIONS, forgetting that NIGERIANS have embraced education and white collar Jobs.

In 1995. .. . Our EEDIOTS still persisted with clueless leaders who lacked the sense for long term planning and improving the POWER SECTOR.
we have had more eternally clueless LEADERS than GEJ.

In 2005.....POPULATON BURSTS with 2000megawatts
Graduates of white collar extractions with LIMITED JOB SPACES.

In 2015. ..... AGGRESIVE /FRUSTRATED YOUTHS becoming ubiquitous.

In 2020......SUICIDE becoming inevitable

MAY GOD PUNISH ALL OUR BAD LEADERS as well as the intending ones.

May their CHILDREN suffer for the sins of their fathers.

OP don't BLAME it on WOMEN... .. PLEASE

AMEN

NoIgwegbe:
Thank you tensazangetsu: You took it right out of my mouth. These men on Nairaland, or Nigeria generally make it seem as if marriage is a good thing. WHo told you those girls are crying because they are not married? How are you sure they want to marry?
Previously women had no choice than to tolerate abusive marriages with men, because the men were richer, but now that women are richer, women are also reluctant to marry so early and just because, after all they watched their mothers and aunties suffer in the name of marriage. Those old men sleeping with young girls are they not married men?
Do they not have wives at home who weep every night because they so called husbands are with one small girl in one hotel instead of being by their sides.
Marriage is overrated. The earlier you Nairaland boys and Nigerian men get it into your head that the most important thing bothering a girl is not marriage, the less bitter your lives will be about single women. it is not that serious.

The men wailing that they cannot find jobs, have they never heard of something called entrepreneurship? Can't they try to start their own businesses, and struggle initially but grow later.
It is either the men are lazy or they are spoilt. They will not do anything except it is an an office with an AC or an official car, yet they come her to blame single women for their woes in life.
some of these men, when they see a girl hustling, who is doing her business, employing herself, they will say 'No, Na only working class babe, I wan marry.'
When the working class babe rejects them, they say 'women like money that is why they are single.'
You nko that is chasing only working class babe, don't you like money? Are you not a gold digger? SOme guys will even ask you where do you work before they ask you your name.
Oboy it is your high taste that is keeping you single, stop blaming the Rich single ladies. Cut your coat according to your clothe. Simple and short.

AdahXris:
There are no better explanations than the ones you have listed. Nice one op. Now let ♍ε see what the ladies in the house have τ̲̅õ̸̳͡ say about this piece.

bakynes:
OP you are too gbaski, this is just so true. I step out in my area and I find many young guys jobless and they are graduates which am one with so many work experience abroad and skills but yet no job nobody wants to help but you hardly find a jobless young female graduates but you will always see Men of around 38 years and above coming back from work in their big cars every night. You go to so many offices you hardly see young male graduates there always older men and young females. The only place you will see many young male graduates in Nigeria is in Bet shops or beer parlour. Only God go help us for this country. This topic deserves Front Page Moderators do your job.

NoIgwegbe:
Since I've started reading Nairaland, from what I have been reading here about how Nigerian men percieve Nigerian women, the only question running through my mind is " WHy would a NIgerian woman want to marry such men?"
Seriously being a man is not about having a penis. it takes more. Most men here talk more like animals who did not suck the breasts of their mother. like people who do not have mothers, sisters, or who would not have daughters in future.
I keep asking myself. Where do these people come from? Who trained men like these? WHy would a woman want to marry men like these?
NIgerian men, your mentality is why NIgerian women who are rich prefer to remain single.
They prefer to remain single. It was a conscious decision. They are not crying in their pillows, so save the sympathy for yourselves. you need it more. since you are both broke and single, and eagerly looking for rich working class women to take you out of your misery.

I am not saying that there are no women who sleep in church praying for husbands, there are miserable souls like that, but these days, most women are not so eager to marry the kind of men we have nowadays.

NIgerian men, you need to grow up. You need to search yourselves and find out first what it is to be a human being to your fellow human being. you need to understand what it means to love your neighbour as yourself.
Some men here, even argue that it is okay for a man to rape a woman simply because she drank his bottle of coke. 60m naira coke. And you wonder why NIgerian women prefer to remain single than be shackled with men like these?
Nigerian men, you need to sit down and understand what it is to be a man or a human being, before looking for single women to mock and blame for your sorrows in life.

Adaeze003:
I was looking for the words, I just couldn't find them. Like what do I tell this "wailing wailer"? I guess he goes home with the CEOs to watch them sleep with the female staff. Well, I won't be surprised if he washes the sheets too...

I think it'll be better if we just stayed home and forget school or work, I think that will make them(Nigerian men) happy! But wait!!! They also want independent women, not liabilities

Confused lot...



Uhhm.... how shallow can a human get?

simdam500:
Are you vexing now

Chill joor. E go better

freecocoa:
Just see the nonsense he is spewing, I find out that men like him are very insecure, lazy and broke, just see how a person thinks in this century.

They want a woman that's hardworking but sees them as a god and literally worships them, that way they can cage the woman to do whatever they want, very selfish, inconsiderate and ugly people, the thing dey annoy me sef.

What rubbish, some women struggle hard to get a job and this mofo is here saying they had to sleep their way in.

I don't even know what to say about the women, singing his praises.

humilitypays:
It is a simple fact that the number of guys refusing to marry is directly proportional to the number of ladies that are single and searching, reason being that it is these single guys that have refused to marry that ought to marry the single ladies that are searching and praying for husband.


Now, the question is: why do we have an abnormal increase in the number of single unmarried ladies that are searching for marriage partner today in Nigeria?


Sit back and read the preceding paragraphs and you will find out why and how women (married and single) can help curb this cankerworm eating deep into our modern Nigeria.


Before we forge ahead, you will agree with me that 10 to 20 years ago, men dominated the Nigerian workforce, with fewer number of women occupying top positions, but today, the table has turned as more women now secure better paying jobs than their male counterparts.


My personal study into this recent development showed that most Nigerian organisation boss who are mostly men above 45years, prefer to hirer pretty single ladies for non-engineering positions, which put guys in the non-engineering sectors at high risk of not securing good jobs when competing with ladies for same job position.


I also discovered that most multinational firms have a policy that encourages female gender empowerment, which make their HR team give preferential treatment to ladies seeking for same position with a male job applicant during recruitment exercise.


You can hardly discover this secret organisation policy until you are among the top management.


If you doubt this, try and go to Victoria Island in Lagos during close of work; 5 - 6pm (Monday - Friday), and you will notice higher number of young pretty females leaving their office premises in good cars, with few young guys leaving their workplaces in a car.


If you are observant enough, you will also discover that most of the male workers driving home from work are usually within the age range of: 38 - 60yrs, whereas more ladies within the age range of; 25 - 35yrs drive home from work, showing that more young ladies now have better jobs than guys.


This is also applicable to Abuja: same study was carried out within Central Business District of Abuja, CBD.


To many Nigerians, especially the ladies, it is a good trend; at least to them, it shows that ladies are becoming independent from guys, and to the old working class male directors and managers, it means nothing because they are at the receiving end (sleeping with these young pretty ladies for jobs, promotion, contracts, etc), but not until their own daughter(s) graduate from Harvard University or London School of Economics and returns back home to take up an executive position in her dad's big firm, but only to go to bed every night weeping and soaking her pillows with tears simply because there is no responsible young man in her life ready to walk her to the altar and they live happily ever after like she reads from foreign novels and watch on Telemundo series.


No wonder many rich parents are now arranging marriage for their daughters; yet this doesn't solve the imminent problem of abnormal increase in single young people in Nigeria of today.


Now, what am I blabbing about? The major reason we have increasing rate of single ladies in Nigeria today is not because witches in the villages have increased in number and now pursuing single ladies and stopping them from finding suitable husbands just as many modern pastors make these single ladies to believe in order to extort money from them & to grow their congregation, it is not even because single ladies of today lack good character or manner, neither is it because single ladies now dress indecently....nope, the major reason is harsh economy that is no longer favouring young single guys!


How do we expect a guy who graduated from higher institution and served his fatherland after 3 years and still unable to rent a decent apartment for himself, unable to cater for his own daily needs to think about getting married in this time and age?


How do we expect a young guy who after 4 to 5 years of passing out from NYSC is yet to secure a job that pays him up to a hundred thousand naira, and give him the opportunity of saving at least fifty thousand naira every month to wish to marry and give birth to children?


The earlier we Nigerians realise the dangers of having more young guys without good job, the better for us as a nation that wish to grow and have a happy, crime-free society.

I know some people will say: marriage is not everyone, while others will argue that must everybody marry? And the answer is yes, anybody who desires to marry ought to marry, but is that the case today? No!

Many young men want to marry, but the truth is that their pocket isn't encouraging to take that bold step that marriage requires.

Some will also argue that must you wait till you have millions before you marry? And some will argue that marriage is not about money, but tell me: how do you sustain the kids that will follow after the wedding? How do you plan to pay for house rent, children increasing school fees, etc?

Do you want to plan the future of your kids on one rich relation or friend? That's unfair to the unborn innocent children you want to bring to life, please don't do it!

I know that not every guy or lady will be rich, but being comfortable to provide most of your needs should be compulsory at least!

I still remember the story of Adam and Eve which I read from “The Book of My Bible Stories” while I was a kid, it told us how God created man, Adam and gave him everything he needed and Adam will go to his garden in the morning to return at night lonely, such that God pitied him and said: it is not good for him to be alone, I will make him a help mate, and so God made Adam to fall deep asleep and then God came and removed one of Adam's ribs and made Eve for him.

Adam woke up and saw Eve and was excited and said: this is the bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh (dunno if I quoted those words correctly).

What am I trying to say? God gave Adam his basic needs before sending him a woman!

A man deserves to have his basic needs met before thinking of getting married.


But it is so shameful that old married men in Nigeria occupying top positions in various organisations and firms gave and still giving jobs to single unmarried ladies who most times contribute nothing to the organisation's growth, thereby causing more unemployment and underemployment of young single Nigerian guys, with a resultant effect of late marriage amongst these young single guys.


Shameful enough, many organisations today hire ladies by their physical attraction; once a member of the HR team admires the female applicant, whether she merits the job or not, he must ensure that she gets hired to the disadvantage of her male counterparts who most times have better skills to offer to the organisation.



THE SOLUTION

First, we must tell ourselves the truth: in Nigerian culture and norm, men are believed and expected to be the breadwinner of the family; the woman is only expected to assist and contribute if she has and can.


Bearing this in mind, majority if not all Nigerian single ladies searching for a life partner want and desire to marry a guy earning higher income than them.


All things being equal, no Nigerian single lady prays to marry a guy she's earning more than; very uncommon in Nigeria.


But then, we have few single guys in Nigeria who earn that kind of income most Nigerian single ladies desire from their preferred partner. And as it stands presently in Nigeria, more single ladies between the age range of 25yrs - 35yrs have better paying jobs than single guys of the same age range, which means many single ladies in Nigeria will never find husband to marry except they lower their taste and marry a guy earning below them or they become second wife to older men.


All these anomalies were caused by older Nigerian men who set the wrong legacy for this nation in terms of bad leadership, sex-for-job in favour of single ladies, and more...and for this status quo to change, every Nigerian citizen must play a role to bring the much desired change we dream of in Nigeria, how?



1. As a young single lady working in a company, say no to the maltreatment of young single guys in your organisation because the more these guys are penalised and made not to grow, the more chances of you, your single sister, niece, friend or even aunt not finding a deserving husband to marry.


2. All HR personnel must ensure equity and fairness when hiring applicants for any job position. Stop the female gender empowerment; enough is enough, its not helping Nigeria, neither is it helping the world in general.


Women are happier when their husband or man is in charge financially than when they are in charge...even in Europe!


3. As a single lady, lower your financial expectation from guys- the table is turning, fewer guys now have good means of income compared to ladies; you ladies asked for gender equality, you now have it, please make use of it, don't wait for a richer guy...if you are driving and you see a guy trekking whom you fancy, lift him and don't be shy to startup a focused-relationship with him...waiting for the richer guys driving bigger cars than yours may keep you waiting for eternity and may bring you more heartbreak because such guys now know that they are king to women and so they treat ladies with little/no respect.


4. Encourage your single brothers to work hard, acquire skill, learn trade and explore business opportunities even if they are working. Help them with business startup capital...doing so will help create a deserving husband for a fellow single lady out there.


5. Stop squandering that single guy's money!

Advice him to invest his income wisely! Encourage him to startup a side business to assist his salary because no salary is enough!



6. As a single guy, learn to be financially wise!

Quit those useless habits that drains your income! Quit smoking! Quit drinking! Quit gambling! Quit womanising; its a costly hobby! Quit clubbing around town! Quit squandering money on any girl who isn't your wife! Learn to invest, learn to nurture a business aside your job and learn to spend lesser than you earn! Don't use your last savings to buy a car just to feel among or just to attract irrelevant ladies! Car is more of a necessity until you become rich! For now, buying car should be to aid your financial growth and not for fun or pleasure!


7. As a single lady, pray for your single brothers, boyfriend, lover, or male friends and colleagues. Advice and encourage them whenever you can.


It is no longer easy for single young guys in Nigeria even though most of them won't confess this to you due to male ego!


Let's all wake up to the reality and pray that President Buhari and his team bring about the positive change in Nigeria's economy to help curb this societal pressure.


Wish you all a blissful day ahead.

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bayulll01:
Your reasoning and analysis is so flaw,in as much ladies want to live in denial,marriage is a tradition lay down by God,stop copying the western traditions,all woman desire to get married,when they can't find husband they cover face and say its not a priority,u don't have a husband u,guys sleep with you and dump u,go ask kemi adetigba and linda ikeji,they may hide their sorrow in hardwork believe me they are weeping.

Gerrard59:
All I see is a misogynistic person on rampage. It's very ridiculous of you to entirely blame the inability of some men to marry on women empowerment. The Nigerian economy is clearly dominated by men; be it construction, oil and gas, manufacturing, IT, shipping and even medical where one would have thought that women would take the lead.

The MNCs you accused of dis-appropriately employing have such policies from their home countries, even at that men are still more employed than women in the United States. Take for instance Silicon Valley, the proportion of men to women in tech firms is high; and efforts are being made to ensure that females are also employed by ensuring females take joy in STEM courses, what you should be advising young Nigerian men is to study hard enough to be at least QUALIFIED for the vacancies in such firms, as these firms employ strictly on merit. It's totally illogical for you to ORDER firms who are competitively outwitting themselves in the consumer market/economy to employ unqualified people simply because they MUST employ men. It's by merit, people should learn to work hard. Tell me why should a company employ an unqualified person{ male or female} in a recruitment process that's strictly based on the principle of meritocracy. So because MEN should MUST be employed, say HITACHI shouldn't employ someone like this>>http://www.punchng.com/entertainment/campus-champion/i-once-read-for-12-hours-nonstop-oshunmakinde/? I always advise my fellow lads alike to work hard,network, avoid unnecessary expenditure, plan your life, hope for the best and prepare for the worst and not blame your failure on another gender; which constitutes your mom, sisters, nieces, future daughters.

The benefits of women ACTIVELY participating in the economy is ginormous, we need more women in the economy to drive our economy to becoming one of the biggest in the world. Japan is actively pushing for more women in its workforce, ditto for Korea and even INDIA .
In Modi's recent trip to Silicon Valley he outlined the benefits of 50% of the population joining the economy and pledged reforms aimed at reaching that goal, here in Nigeria, wetin man dey read?

A recent survey by Mckinsey showed the way the world's economy could grow at a faster and more organic way by 28 trillion dollars
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-09-24/mckinsey-says-gender-equality-would-boost-gdp-by-28-trillion. And a grown man is against such.

Ridiculous to say the least.

What do u mean by he should be advising young men to be qualified...are u sure u are in this country @ll? we have lots of over qualified graduates witout jobs. Dont u hv friends that made first class/strong 2.1 in engineering and oda professional disciplines bt still don't have jobs after many yrs? or is it cos you are fortunate to get one? C'mon man..I want to suspect that u are among those in HR that favor the female gender for selfish reasons.