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Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? - Romance - Nairaland

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Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by NOIBMUUL(m): 1:13pm On Dec 09, 2015
Hello peeps, just a quick sampling of your opinions.

Do you pick offense when your lady (gf, fiancée or wife) is dishonest with you about her past sexual relationships? Not that their past will influence how you behave or treat them anyway, because that will be unfair as we all have our pasts too. But being honest i.e. coming clean can be a honourable thing to do and also an indication that you are willing to leave the past in the past.

For me, being dishonest about something or trying to hide the truth just shows unwillingness to discontinue those things and a major redflag for me. And yes please, this also applies to the men too and not just the ladies.

Maybe I am overly intuitive or like we say "over cacu dey worry me!" But that's just me. What's your own take on it? Share your sentiments and lets discuss.


**Thanks in anticipation of your matured and constructive opinions.

Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by Cholls(m): 1:16pm On Dec 09, 2015
My brother Yes! Cus it is good for my health.
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by sissylucy(f): 1:19pm On Dec 09, 2015
I don't like tlking bout my past sexual relationships with the current,jes like you said I prefer "leaving the past in the past"
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by Nobody: 1:22pm On Dec 09, 2015
I think laying down all the cards prior to start any commitments/ relationship is better than being shocked all the time when u found something ur partner didn't told u abt...but some ppol can't be open like others..before they spill their beans, u shud gained their trust first.

2 Likes

Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by Kingsasian(m): 1:23pm On Dec 09, 2015
Yes, I do pick offence when she is dishonest about her past relationships. Although I don't use the past to judge but its necessary that she be honest to me on that aspect.
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by NOIBMUUL(m): 1:48pm On Dec 09, 2015
KashyBaby:
I think laying down all the cards prior to start any commitments/ relationship is better than being shocked all the time when u found something ur partner didn't told u abt...but some ppol can't be open like others..before they spill their beans, u shud gained their trust first.

Sure, I quite agree with you on the issue of trust. I mean you have to be sure the person can be trusted with your pasts because you don't want someone running off like a town-crier with your dirty-linens!

But what if there are inconsistencies in the person's account of their past? For example, ...maybe like a month ago he already said he didn't have any sexual intimacy with Lady X while dating her, and then later he returns to make reference to a sexual experience with the same Lady X that he once said they never had any intimacy? How do you joggle that?
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by NOIBMUUL(m): 1:50pm On Dec 09, 2015
lipsrsealed
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by NOIBMUUL(m): 5:42pm On Dec 10, 2015
Cholls:
My brother Yes! Cus it is good for my health.


LMAO! Abi na. Who wan suffer heart attack heh? grin
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by sunnyt1(m): 7:29pm On Dec 10, 2015
Any one who insists on knowing everything about the past is not MATURED enough for a very serious relationship

The big question is, what do you intend to do about the past if he/she tells you everything
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by schumastic(m): 7:33pm On Dec 10, 2015
NOIBMUUL:
Hello peeps, just a quick sampling of your opinions.

Do you pick offense when your lady (gf, fiancée or wife) is dishonest with you about her past sexual relationships? Not that their past will influence how you behave or treat them anyway, because that will be unfair as we all have our pasts too. But being honest i.e. coming clean can be a honourable thing to do and also an indication that you are willing to leave the past in the past.

For me, being dishonest about something or trying to hide the truth just shows unwillingness to discontinue those things and a major redflag for me. And yes please, this also applies to the men too and not just the ladies.

Maybe I am overly intuitive or like we say "over cacu dey worry me!" But that's just me. What's your own take on it? Share your sentiments and lets discuss.


**Thanks in anticipation of your matured and constructive opinions.

is pointless cus she won't tell you the truth...v u tried asking a girl how many relationship she has been into? the number s always 2, the one that got her disvirgined and the one she just broke up with before she met you...so don't bother asking them cus they will only tell you want you need to hear not what you need to know kapish
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by Nobody: 7:38pm On Dec 10, 2015
It would be interesting if she is still undefile but if otherwise she should keep the irritating scenarios to herself jare.







No man would love to hear about his wife was fu.cked by another man
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by NOIBMUUL(m): 12:47am On Dec 20, 2015
Neyoor:
It would be interesting if she is still undefile but if otherwise she should keep the irritating scenarios to herself jare.







No man would love to hear about his wife was fu.cked by another man


I'm of the opinion that when both of you come out clean, no side tales or stories will catch you off guard cos you already know about it.

Or will you rather hear tales of your spouse's exploit from someone else?
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by nairamaniac: 4:20am On Dec 23, 2015
This enquiry is quite useful, but u WD hardly get the accurate answer.
I don't really care of a girls past statistic, but there are some statistic that could be quite scandalous and bring shame/disgrace to the guy.
To me, it is more better for ur spouse to have had 20 past decent relationships than 5 scandalous experiences in the form of Fun, road side prostitution, father/sons groupie, sex with prison warders when she was once arrested, sex with lecturers to HV seen her thru from 100level to graduation. etc etc.

fine, it may seem like these things are past. but imagine if everyone around you knows these things after marriage. and u both are usually surrounded with some of her ex-cohorts?
its kind of embarrassing shaaa, especially wen some of these past-cruisers of your wives kitty kat are relatives&close friends that you not have introduced her to be4 u both got married.


I'm even more scared of finding myself in this situation wen I get married, cos I do better with extroverted-girls, Intersting-girls, experienced-girls(sexually&otherwise).

I don't see myself marrying a virgin or a dull/quiet girl.

let's face it, most girls want chicks with most of these characters I also like.

but these special-skills must have come with past-experiences.

u dont expect a girl that has canceled only 2men in her past to be as skilful/experienced as the girl DAT HV cancelled 30. DO YOU?

Its like comparing a Recruit to a General in the ARMY.
Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by nairamaniac: 4:32am On Dec 23, 2015
nairamaniac:
This enquiry is quite useful, but u WD hardly get the accurate answer.
I don't really care about a girls past statistics, but there are some statistics that could be quite scandalous and bring shame/disgrace to the guy.
To me, it is more better for ur spouse to have had 20 past decent relationships than 5 scandalous experiences in the form of Fun, road side prostitution, father/sons groupie, sex with prison warders when she was once arrested, sex with lecturers to HV seen her thru from 100level to graduation. etc etc.

fine, it may seem like these things are past. but imagine if everyone around you knows these things after marriage. and u both are usually surrounded with some of her ex-cohorts?
its kind of embarrassing shaaa, especially wen some of these past-cruisers of your wives kitty kat are relatives&close friends that you not have introduced her to be4 u both got married.


I'm even more scared of finding myself in this situation wen I get married, cos I do better with extroverted-girls, Intersting-girls, experienced-girls(sexually&otherwise).

I don't see myself marrying a virgin or a dull/quiet girl.

let's face it, most girls want chicks with most of these characters I also like.

but these special-skills must have come with past-experiences.

u dont expect a girl that has canceled only 2men in her past to be as skilful/experienced as the girl DAT HV cancelled 30. DO YOU?

Its like comparing a Recruit to a General in the ARMY.



Re: Do You Expect Honesty From Your Partner On His Or Her Past? by NOIBMUUL(m): 3:33am On Dec 27, 2015
nairamaniac:
This enquiry is quite useful, but u WD hardly get the accurate answer.
I don't really care of a girls past statistic, but there are some statistic that could be quite scandalous and bring shame/disgrace to the guy.
To me, it is more better for ur spouse to have had 20 past decent relationships than 5 scandalous experiences in the form of Fun, road side prostitution, father/sons groupie, sex with prison warders when she was once arrested, sex with lecturers to HV seen her thru from 100level to graduation. etc etc.

fine, it may seem like these things are past. but imagine if everyone around you knows these things after marriage. and u both are usually surrounded with some of her ex-cohorts?
its kind of embarrassing shaaa, especially wen some of these past-cruisers of your wives kitty kat are relatives&close friends that you not have introduced her to be4 u both got married.


I'm even more scared of finding myself in this situation wen I get married, cos I do better with extroverted-girls, Intersting-girls, experienced-girls(sexually&otherwise).

I don't see myself marrying a virgin or a dull/quiet girl.

let's face it, most girls want chicks with most of these characters I also like.

but these special-skills must have come with past-experiences.

u dont expect a girl that has canceled only 2men in her past to be as skilful/experienced as the girl DAT HV cancelled 30. DO YOU?

Its like comparing a Recruit to a General in the ARMY.




Good points though. Sometimes the motive behind the acts are more important.

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