₦airaland Forum

Vikky014:
lol. d fact is saying yes or no to the points does not hv any impact on d said person in the real. no one can pretend to b wht she is not. my own point is our old sisters dt time is no longer on their side shld get busy and stp dreaming about wht dey cant afford. hw will one marry a soo rich guy whn one can barely recharge her phone with airtime jst saying tho

misspicy:
Help me ask OP o,why would i nor simply go with the rich man since it is not compulsory for the guy i want to suffer with to settledown with me...so i should lose both ways Some guys lack hindsight

labakeJ:
It's possible to start small with a guy that loves u but d qstn is...will he wanna remain with u wen he has it all Suddenly, d girl might look too fat or disfigured to him..well only very few of d guys remain loyal to d gal till d end.... Anyway... just passing by

Toks2008:
Its really amazing how ladies fear the possibility of remaining unmarried for a long time stretching into their late twenties and thirties.

I have seen countless number of naija spinsters visit many prayer houses to seek spiritual guide and advice just to be a mrs and while so many will quickly come out to say they are unperturbed,the truth is that deep inside of them they hope that they just find the "right man" fast enough and start raising a family before reaching their menopause age.

Many ladies do not need prayer and fasting and in most cases,there is no spiritual attack from anywhere but these ladies are their own pitfalls and the simple truth is that 90% of unmarried ladies in their late 20s and 30s have no business still remaining single.

Considering the present global socio economy siituations expecially in a country like ours,here are 5 very vital questions to ask yourself as a lady and the more you give a NO to each of these 5 questions the harder it may be for you to get a man to marry you.

1.Can you start a life with a man in one room ?: Many ladies have boyfriends who live in this type of apartment and infact they have spent some nights with him in that same one room apartment and the guy has lost count of how many times he has scr*wd you in any imaginable ways but when it comes to marriage you will foolishly say you can't marry into one room apartment.

Sorry is your second name and i strongly pity you.Most men who own mansions today started their lives in one room so if you are ok being scr*wd in one room but you can not marry same man living in one room then you are not only clueless but foolish and be ready to be dumped after he has really had you to his fullness.


2.Can you marry a struggling man who has no regular job?:Oh i can imagine some ladies answering LAI! LAI!,MBA NUNU! GOD FORBID and so on to this particular question but please let me ask you"why date a struggling guy or allow him srw you at will yet cant marry him?" strange and foolish i must say.

It is important to know that as long as that man is not lazy,his break through will come and must come.How many ladies have given up an affair because they feel the guy has no job just to realize a year latter that he is gainfully employed or he has started a profitable business and they start feeling bad for not being patient enough.

Ok what is even the guaranty that the ones who have good jobs or business can not experience a crazy turn around? many ladies have lost their chance with a vibrant vision driven man just because they are waiting to say yes to a man who has a job rather than for them to also find something doing that will make them financially independent while the guy has enough space to pursue his dreams.Believe it or not 95% of the rich or successful guys you see today have passed through a struggling phase.


3.Can you have a very low budget wedding?: Now i want every reasonable lady reading this to understand that marital union and marriage ceremony are 2 different things.

Most times when you hear words like "my guy is not ready yet for marriage" what this simply implies is that the guy is NOT READY FOR A BIG MARRIAGE CEREMONY and not that he is not mentally,psychologically and emotionally ready but because our young ladies are overwhelmed with that one day celebration,they will never ever plan any wedding with a man who does not have the money to give them a flamboyant wedding and this is one major reasons why many ladies remain single for a very long time.

Have you looked around to see many graduates still struggling in their 30s with no assurance that a job or business will come up tomorrow? Are you among the myopic ladies who get carried away by a flamboyant wedding ceremony rich parents organize for their children?

Who says you can't have a marriage ceremony with N50,000 budget where a man pays the bride price and proceed to the registry with you and when the money starts coming in you two can do another big time wedding ceremony so why put yourself in bondage of having a compulsory big time wedding before you can be a mrs? Why are you giving that guy a good reason to continue using you,saying he is not ready for marriage ceremony but doing all the imaginable things a man will do to a wife on you.

For my igbo sisters i will advice you to appeal to the elders at home to understand that the fact that few of you are lucky to have a guy pay so much or spend so much on a marriage ceremony against all odds does not erase the fact that countless number of Igbo girls are been courted but not married in a timely manner due to the high expenses involved.


4.Can you marry a man who loves you but is not your preferred spec?:Yes there is nothing absolutely wrong in having a picture of who you want and while some ladies are very fortunate to find such,many have lived in a fantasy world hoping to meet that man who has those qualities they dream of just to wait and wait until they become old waiting for an "ideal man"

In marriage there is nothing like a bad or good choice neither do we have an ideal or non ideal man but its about your choice.Many ladies want a tall,cute,rich.GOD fearing,romantic guy and its so amazing how some ladies will never shift ground and when that short caring and loving guy comes their way they hush him and start running after a prince charming that feels nada for them,what a shame.

Stop having this myopic belief that there is an ideal man out there,no man has it all and all you need to look out for is a man who truly desires and deserves you. If you like keep waiting and screening until you become the object of screening yourself. Be wise.


5.Can you marry a man with a wide age gap to you:This is one of the most dangerous mistakes many ladies make. For crying out loud, except a lady just wants to play around,i do not see why a teenage girl will be dating a fellow teenager or a lady in her early twenties will be dating a guy of just a year or two older than her because when she eventually becomes ripe for marriage, in most cases this guy is still jumping around and fulfilling his sexual fantasies.

Yes age is nothing but a number but in most cases, ladies who date or court guys with wide age gaps like 8years or more tend to end up as a wife to the guy while most ladies who at their young ages started an affair with guys of close age proximity are usually left heart broken latter in life because most guys in the 20s are probably still playing around and not even psychologically ready for marital union.

So when i hear a 23 year old lady telling a guy in his 30s that he is too old for her i just laugh at her ignorance. If you are a teenager reading this or a lady in your early twenties,i will advice that except you just want to play around,you should date or court guys with wide age gap to avoid had i known.YES THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS to this but most times my assertion holds true.

I hope these write up makes sense to those who want to see sense in it.

Pidggin:
If you suffer with them, there is no guarantee that you will enjoy with them.

Take a look at most artists and entertainers, most of them did not marry the ladies that stood by them when they had nothing.

prettythicksme:
In dj khalid's voice***another one**!! i say No to all what u wrote up there op

Omotayor123:
Me too.. Is that why we are still Single

nkemdi89:
Men are only humble when they are struggling, the moment they hit it big you will know their true colour.

Toks2008:
Good evening madam, long time.

Abeg if you have a daughter remind her that Dangote once sold sugar and salt in small quantity o.
Remind her that Donjazzy once fried akara and buns at a popular bus-top to survive and remind her that some millionaires today were once squatters and not even a proud owner of a room apartment.

maiahsaiah:
Na our mamas dey cause am

maiahsaiah:
Na our mamas dey cause am

nkemdi89:
I
Men are only humble when they are struggling, the moment they hit it big you will know their true colour.

daretodiffer:
Be practical, love is conditional

If the rich or the poor could dump you at will

Why do you have to follow the poor then? At least with the rich there is an added advantage

Ihuomadinihu:
At the end of the day,only points 3 and 5 are a little logical because they are preferencial issues. Some people apparently prefer small events and simple packing when it comes to weddings. Everyone must not put up a Mind blowing wedding reception for the world.

Number 5 is also based on Preference and Choice. There are single girls that prefer older partners. However,it's not advisable to go for people far away from your age group. Things may be all rosy at first but soon,you will start drifting away from that each other because you are no longer on the same wave lenght. When he is talking about retirement and slowing down his activities,you will be thinking of kick starting a new business or attending one event or the other.

Experienced married folks say it's preferable to marry someone within or not too far from your age group....

Apart from these 3 and 5, the other points are absolutely useless. A broke ass guy has no business chasing women for marriage. You have to put certain things in order before thinking of bringing in a women into your home. With marriage comes responsibilities,pregnancies and children. Who are you going to heap these problems on?
Get a regular job,get an accomodation before thinking of getting married otherwise you go for women you can afford and who will like to be with you!
Like i said before,this post is for broke ass lazy men and desperate women,a man that knows his onions and a woman of high esteem has nothing to gain from this post.

proserfina:
The problem is that we ladies at times tends to be myopic... As a woman, stupidity is when you sit back
cross-legged and search for an already made man. In
case you don't know, every already made man
out there has a woman who has been with him
from when he had only a pair of shorts and a
single shirt. That's why majority of well to do
men, usually make you nothing but a sex- toy,
for you mean absolutely nothing to them.
He might cheat on her with you, but truth is,
he'll never leave her for you… If you are guilty
of hunting for an already made man, then i tell
you, my dear you are such a cow, you actually
need horns. When a good healthy brain settles,
yours floats!
He may not own a car.
He may not earn a lot of money.
He may not live in a posh estate.
He may not be able to shower you with gifts all
the time.
He may not have a great job.
But it’s enough to know you are the only one he
craves for and loves unconditionally
As such we should learn to live with the hardworking man and pray that God will bless the work of his hands.

faustinalove:
thank u sister..if u must take a risk, pick d one whose end result looks bright..
A sister said something, ''if u must let a guy sleep with u all in d name of 'dating' or 'love', then make sure the guy is worth it unless u'll be d one to lose in d end"..with the rich guy, d girl will still enjoy d money and every other benefits d relationship has to offer and if at d end d rich guy does not end up marrying her, then she would hav saved enough money/bought enough things that will make her not feel like d loser...but if she goes for a broke guy and d guy ends up dumping her, then she would be d loser cos d guy used her and on top of it she doesnt hav anything to show for d many years of dating the broke guy..
Girls work hard and make money for urself and then u have every right to want to marry an already made guy.
Guys, stop being lazy and expecting d girl to love u for who u are! Not every guy will end up a billionaire, but at least a 'struggling' guy deserves to be praised, work and make it in life, then go for girls that have also made some money too..
All d lazy guys here shpuld stop complaining but rather go out there and find something doing and not to come here on nairaland showing how jobless they r..
@Toks u hav no respect for women which is very bad, u should stop acting like an educated illiterate..God bless nairalanders and may the new week bring us every good thing we hav always wished for

Omotayor123:
True.. But suffering with a guy doesn't guarantee your future or Anything.. Tell me, where are the ladies that suffer with Don jazzy How come Olamide is skeptical about marrying the woman that suffer with him even after she bore his child
That's why I don't blame ladies who had refused to suffer with any guy.

Dating a guy when he was broke doesn't mean you suffered with him. Some girls still suck something outta dried bone.

sheabutter1:
oh so you are able to understand the 2 points of op out of the 5 . my ddear , if you are able to read calmly, I believe you will pick some senses from other 3 .

I believe op, never stop you from your choice, he just emphasize on, never perceive what you can't condole. you know a guy in a room a No to you , you should never have let him date you in any reason ..for you to consider him to date you, that means your choice is scarce , and nothing bad in starting a life with him if he's ambitions minded ..not someone, who's comfortable in a room and room and ready to spend the rest of his life there..

Toks2008:
Wait o,are Naija babes this shallow minded?

A man who lives in face me i face you screws you at will but you cant marry such in same room he srws you to stupor so what exactly can even you make of that?

Talking about your specs, how many guys of your spec have come to woo you? and if you see one will you walk up to him and propose to him?

Or you would rather remain single for life if that spec of yours does not walk into your life.

All these write up i put down on nairaland is for young ladies to learn and wise up but if you refuse to im so positive you will remember thiese in years to come.

Kep waiting for that ideal man that may treat you like poo ignoring the other men who are ready to love and cherish you.OYO lowa.

sheabutter1:
oh so you are able to understand the 2 points of op out of the 5 . my ddear , if you are able to read calmly, I believe you will pick some senses from other 3 .

I believe op, never stop you from your choice, he just emphasize on, never perceive what you can't condole. you know a guy in a room a No to you , you should never have let him date you in any reason ..for you to consider him to date you, that means your choice is scarce , and nothing bad in starting a life with him if he's ambitions minded ..not someone, who's comfortable in a room and room and ready to spend the rest of his life there..

Ihuomadinihu:
By the way,there is nothing to understand from 3 and 5,ok.
A woman that wants a large wedding will look for a way to have it! Either she supplements with her money, borrows and puts the family in debt or she forces you to go out there and look for it. Before you answer any silly questions,it's better you sit down and access what you really want.
A woman that desires a large wedding might adjust and go for a small trad and a large white wedding in order to be 'happy'.
The most important thing is your happiness,it's not a no or yes answer. A woman who says No to 3 will never be a spinster forever,she would have to work with her partner to make her happy.
Finally, number 5 is not a closed question. There are thousands of people married to people within their age group. You don't have to say Yes to a 40 yr old man to be married,if that is not what you want deep down inside you!

seaga:
I don't know where you ladies get this notion from, that a guy dumps his gf after success.so you think men are foolish, and we don't sense when a woman is with us because of our financial status.No way will i submit my freedom to marry a woman because she sees me as a money bag.Any responsible man will appreciate a lady that stood by him during is trying times.its wife we are talking about here not a gf to satisfy orgies

oluamid:
You make me remember a story that broke during the week about a lady who shared details of her abusive marriage on her husband's facebook wall on his birthday.

That story left me thinking if the lady ever knew the guy was violent before marrying her. But because he was 'her specs' and could comfortably take care of her needs and wants she agreed to marry him. Only for him to unleash his real self on her after they got married.

Funny enough, the same woman may have the 'face-me-i-face you living kinda guys wooing her when she was still single whom she probably sidelined because they don't fit into her 'class'.

Toks2008:
You see the eproblem..

The embolden says it all..which labor?because you followed your heart?or because you prayed for him to make it? Abeg i no fit shout.

Ihuomadinihu:
Sorry,Op never made sense in the other points. Don't get carried away and swallow everything they Op posted. In the first place, he concluded that every man and woman in a relationship are sleeping with each other,that is insane!
Secondly, every guy that approaches you for marriage must not be your Boyfriend or someone that is dating you. In Nigeria, people meet their partners through different sources. Half of the proposals that come to ladies are not from men they are dating. Most of them are from friends who have admired them for sometime. The question is can you say yes to that poor broke man? If you are comfortable with it,by all means possible,accept his proposal.
The issue here is that the Op is shaming women that would say NO to the guy's proposal.
It's not a matter of saying Yes or No,it is about shaming women that stick to their standards and preferencies. In his twisted world,women are not supposed to have or make choices in marriage but Men have the liberty to do anything; including picking the most beautiful women, best cooks, sex kittens, educated, respectful, loyal, tall, shapely etc! Why the double standards?
No reasonable woman will pay attention to folks like him.

Toks2008:
I need to stress some valid points sis and i was actually modest because scr*w was used and not f.ck..that is modesty