₦airaland Forum

You just need to grow up.




There are sometimes you just need to keep emotions and feelings in check. Talking back doesn't show strength, holding back is enough strength. You think you are old enough for responsibilities, think again.

Show More Respect Bro.....

[quote author=chuzydon post=41316771]Permit me to say that you did not provide enough information for anybody to give reasonable opinion.
What is happening between you and your mom?
Is she interfering unnecessarily in your affairs?
Do you both see things in opposite directions?
Please expatiate, if you don't mind.

chuzydon:
Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

The fact that your mom shouted or used to talk to you does not mean she hates you, she is trying to bring the best out of you. You may have been going out with friends that you have shared your experience with and they advised you to get yourself freedom by shouting back at her.

She is your mother, she will never hate you for any reason. What you need to do is to go back to her and beg her until you make her happy. From now on, you need to become soft when it comes to her issue and always be around her. Help her to do everything in the house, in fact don't allow her to do anything anymore. If she coughs go and say sorry to her. Just behave as if you are her husband.

You too imaging your mother with five kids, and you just 21years the eldest. She has been trying in her life working tirelessly to take care of you guys, it is not easy, this may have even made her to become aggressive. Please, go back to her severally and beg her until she says it is okay.

See, you need that your mom in every areas of your life. For you to have a blessed family of yours you need her blessings. You will understand this when you need her. I am talking to you from experience because I am 20years older than you. I will not write too much so that you can get my point. But any advice on this space that does not make sense, don't mind them at all, that is Nairalanders for you. Merry Xmas.

dollarlander:
The fact that your mom shouted or used to talk to you does not mean she hates you, she is trying to bring the best out of you. You may have been going out with friends that you have shared your experience with and they advised you to get yourself freedom by shouting back at her.

She is your mother, she will never hate you for any reason. What you need to do is to go back to her and beg her until you make her happy. From now on, you need to become soft when it comes to her issue and always be around her. Help her to do everything in the house, in fact don't allow her to do anything anymore. If she coughs go and say sorry to her. Just behave as if you are her husband.

You too imaging your mother with five kids, and you just 21years the eldest. She has been trying in her life working tirelessly to take care of you guys, it is not easy, this may have even made her to become aggressive. Please, go back to her severally and beg her until she says it is okay.

See, you need that your mom in every areas of your life. For you to have a blessed family of yours you need her blessings. You will understand this when you need her. I am talking to you from experience because I am 20years older than you. I will not write too much so that you can get my point. But any advice on this space that does not make sense, don't mind them at all, that is Nairalanders for you. Merry Xmas.

Thank you Sir, Merry Xmas

chuzydon:
Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

U did the needful.
Ur mums a bitch.

Op from what u said it sounds like she must have been getting a little tough time with u b4 now. Go and lay down on the floor and apologise to your mother, is that clear? Some of us have had d same experience with our mum's but never got the opportunity to apologise cause we didn't realise dn.
now your mum is alive, healthy and only crying, go and apologise .

mostyg:
Your heaven/Paradise lies under the feet of your mum. You can either work for it through her or throw it away.

great comment

Bro, I think you are at that age when peole do this. At this age, you want to be labelled responsible and not people policing you about. And when they keep an eye on you, you become rebelious. Your mom wants the best for you. I know they can be over bearing, but its for you welfare. You know I used have same fights with my mom even till I turned 28. But now I can't go a day without talking to my mom. She is arguable by best friend. Growing up, my dad was working in Abuja, while we were in lagos. And I tell you taking care of 5 children, preparing them for school, doing household chores and taking care of her business was a hand full and one son will misbehave, she go just carry cane follow you no matter your age. Yet I chose to misbehave all the time. My mom could cry to nobody face to face except over the phone when my dad calls in the morning. Bro, you are your parent eldest child. Do you know you are your moms confidante if your dad isn't there? Your moms next husband incase of your dad's demise (God forbid). So bro, calm down with your mom, get busy if you aren't busy. Read more, get a job, no matter the job, at least what will take you out of her face for a while, get into a good relationship with a good lady probably your age or 2yrs younger. Do things that will make your mom really know you are growing up to be responsible. Get close to her, Confide in her. She still loves you so much and just said those awful things in the heat of the moment. Nothing can replace a mother's love. She still prays for you. So reconcile with your mom and turn a new leaf and things will work out fine. Its well with you.

Butty lifestyle. You have mom and dad. I grew up in a neighborhood where people had mama and papa. There's a huge difference. Who are you to shout at either your mama and papa? But with mum and dad, it is probably understandable. Kids from mom and dad are usually the ones that don't mind calling 911 on their parents in the US for just getting a lil spanking. Mama and papa kids don't act that way.

My view, you're 21. I started fending for myself since I was 16. Over 2 decades later I have no reason to talk about mom, dad, mama, papa etc. I'm facing reality now as I already have my own family.

Wake up bro, and face the realities your life revolves around. At 21, you're already grown and should be more concerned about what you can do for yourself and start working towards your own family. When ure 18, some parents in the US will tell you it's time to leave their homes and face reality. There you go at 21 complaining about mom.

Bros, first go before God in sincere repentance and ask for forgiveness. Secondly, go to your mum and prostrate before her flat and plead and beg for forgiveness. Make sure she pronounces forgiveness that she has forgiven you and ask her to pray for you in your presence. Then assure bher that you won't repeat it again forever. U may ask your dad to talk to her on your behalf. Making your mother to cry the way she did had dreadful repercussions on destiny. She will accept U back

Honour thy Father and Mother so that thy days may be long!

You are a fool, if you be my younger brother I don mash u up be that. How dare you, you dey crase?

Na pikin dey worry u, if she had aborted you will you be here typing nonsense or if she had swallowed you through bloww jobb would u be here.

Better go and kneel down n beg her.

The scripture says "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth" Ephesians 6:1-3
What you need to do is to apologize to your mother, humble your self before your mummy lastly obey the word of GOD.

OCTAVO:
Send her lovely text messages daily. She will get over it with time.

Dat won't work if he ain't ready 2 change his ways!

publicenemy:
Believe it or not @ 21 you are still a teenager and at that age you will always have issues with your mum no matter how much of a good guy u are. You would object to things u normally would take from her and she on the other hand would see her once little baby becoming a man and being rebellious especially if she is the one who wields more power in the house becos ur dad is a free style person. So its not a big deal. Apologise today and tomorow there will be something else and you better be ready to be the one to always back down from a fight. For some children its usually the female against their mum and male against their dad but it could go anyway. For me it was me against my mum too cos I dared not argue with my dad. So ur case is a little late, it should have started at 17 or 18 but its still in the teenage years. So its a natural passage. Just keep being the good boy u think u are.



















You are a fool.

That was harsh.

Young man the Bible said children honor thy father and thy mother so that it maybe well with you and your days on earth would be prolonged. You have offended the source of your happiness over nothing. One thing I tell every man is that women both big and small, mother or wife, sister or girlfriend act thebsame way so you must learn how to control your emotions. Go on your kneels and ask for forgiveness from her. Help her in doing some house chores and run some errands for her. Make it a point of duty to make her happy. No matter how tall or big you are, you can never be bigger than your parents

Sanchase:
You are a fool, if you be my younger brother I don mash u up be that. How dare you, you dey crase?

Na pikin dey worry u, if she had aborted you will you be here typing nonsense or if she had swallowed you through bloww jobb would u be here.

Better go and kneel down n beg her.

This isn't how to give a good advice.

At 21... Hmmmm!

What I used to do bak den when mum go just have a fit was allow her shout and shout and shout and shout and when she is tired of shouting I allow her shout some more..

When I see she has exhausted her shouting energy.. I go just talk one or two sentences for the textbook of words she has used... And would say it calmly!

All women hate it when they have exhausted their vocabulary on you the guy and all you have to say is not more than a one or two sentences maximum.. It's even worse when all they get back is a word from u.. I mean just one word like '`hmmmm'' or '' alryt ''..

It drives them batty... *shinning teeth*

Anyway.. Dude! What u did was wrong, even though your mum overreacted on the aftermath..

Well.. Remove your mind from wetin she talk.. Women say one thing and mean another.. It's their habit..

Just learn from your mistakes and work on you been the best you can be..

Everything go sort out with tym... Just man the f*** up.

Don't let the '' I am the eldest get to your head by the way.. ''. No go talk pass that one.

Read the Bible from Genesis to revelation.. Most if not all God's blessings were given to the younger siblings even though He gave credence to the first born.. For instance Jacob and esau, Cain and Abel, Joseph, David, Solomon, e.t.c.

Ever wondered why?

Even in the heavens.. Lucifer that was the first was overthrown by his subordinate On God's command..

Think about that... Maybe u would find some wisdom in there somewhere...

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. " Honour your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." ( Ephesians 6:1–2, ESV. See also Colossians 3:20) — Ephesians 6:1–2 (ESV).
Please go to your mother early in the morning and lie down on bare floor faced down and beg her. You may buy her gifts any other time but first, without your father prompting go to her before she brushes her mouth in the morning, beg her until she accept to have forgiven you. Ask her to bless you and renounce her curses. If she refuses, hold on to her legs as you did when you were just a baby crying after her when she was leaving for the market. Definitely, she would remember because women are rash in anger but easily forgive when begged with honest heart.

chuzydon:
Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly [/b]so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything [b]and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

Op, I think d highlighted show ur degree of irresponsibility & lack of remorse.
1. Y wud u av 2 shout @ur Mum? . Nothing justifies dat.
2. At 21, u ought 2 av taken down right 1st step b4 ur dad comes in. I'm surprised twas ur dad dat gat tell u 2 go reconcile.
3. Did u actually mean it wen u said ur bond is abt 2 be shattered for Good??
Op pls don't attempt going near a lady 4 any 4m of relationship 4 now. Cos it's obvious u're very far frm being able 2 maintain a family. Maturity far frm u no b small sef.

I think you are spending too much time at home, don't you work? even if you mum talk much you don't need to talk back at her... from ur write up It's safe to conclude that if she was your wife you would have beat her...


guy if you want to live long, make her happy, make her see reasons to forgive u.. ask for her forgiveness not just because daddy asked you but because you ve erred.. I think you shouldn't be home all through the day.... spend time with ur bible or responsible friends

chuzydon:
Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

OP I was like you at 21 through to 25, at 26 I was able to mend my ways with my mum but few months into our being close again......She died! and today I still regret everything. Don't be like me that will end up living in pains and regret of not doing it right with his mother! Mend your ways, make her smile plssssssssss

For you to shout at your mother,you don't seem to be a responsible child. Anyway, make your mother happy.

Your mum tried,if i were in her shoes i'll give u a hot slap to reset your brain,how dare u shout on her,do you knw the pains of labour and taking care of a child? U deprived her sleep and many more and this is what u hv to pay her? Go and apologise again.

chuzydon:
Am a guy of 21 from a family of 5, am the eldest, everything used to be fine but the older I grow the more me and my mom seem to be falling apart, today she shouted on me and I shouted back at her very loudly so she left for her room and started crying.

My dad came home from work and she told him everything and my dad asked me to kneel and apologize but my mom was still crying saying I have hurt her a lot with words and all that and even if I become a billionaire tomorrow I shouldn't bother about her that she's cancelled me as her son for good that I don't appreciate her at all.
I don't know how things got so bad to this level and am not even a rough kind of guy, I feel so hurt now and don't even know what to do to make up for things. I just feel like our bond is about to be shattered for good.


pls help I need reasonable advice i don't understand what's going on anymore .

You made your mother cry? By shouting at her? At the age of 21?

Why?

Do you know that you're ruining your future? This is somebody who took pains for you, and now you've made her bitter by what you've said.

There a saying about words and physical hits. A person might forget a blow, but never your words.

Try and apologize to her. Because that's pretty awful a thing to do. Geez, this is your own mother you shouted at. We can only imagine what you said to her.

I bet you'll be screaming at your wife in the future. I'd hate to be your neighbor.

Bro u are walking to ur distruction if u fail in dis, u dnt have any right to look @ her face not to talk of shouting @ her u beta amend ur way b4 is too late beg her ursef ask ur father to beg on ur behave ask ur younger one to beg her on ur behave pls work on it very fast dnt let her use dat hanger to course u u might nt get out of it coz she has power over u pls bro do dis while u still can do it b4 is too late. Thank u.

lilmax:
At 21 you should be thinking of being more responsible,you are the eldest.....what path are you setting up for your younger ones?

You have to apologize until she forgives you,maybe you became proud thinking you cannot be controlled,thats where the problem lies

Earn back the respect she had for you by just being GOOD

Used to have the same issue with my Mom at a certain age. But I learnt something. The way u treat ur mom eventually translates to the way u'll treat ur wife. So learn to treat her right. One thing that can help is to learn not to talk back. Women say so many hurtful things when they re hurt and angry. This will even be more hurtful, cos ur mom still looks at you as the baby she was carrying and changing diapers yesterday. Learning to ignore and not talk back is key. Also learn to give her attention and appreciate her.


I am sure things will improve as u keep maturing.....

MrLexander:
For the fact ur mum shouts at u and u reciprocates shows u av strted bad company and following wrong steps.. e be like say u don dey smoke igbo sef.. na wetin dey cause dis kind tin.. u don dey take alomo and weed.. stewpeed boi

oga calm down, like u dnt knw hw an angry pesin acts.I n my mum do same Sumtimes, it doesn't mean u dnt respect her bt Sumtimes parents cn b so annoying. its nt like he touched her or wat. make she caln down na anger she take talk am

dollarlander:
The fact that your mom shouted or used to talk to you does not mean she hates you, she is trying to bring the best out of you. You may have been going out with friends that you have shared your experience with and they advised you to get yourself freedom by shouting back at her.

She is your mother, she will never hate you for any reason. What you need to do is to go back to her and beg her until you make her happy. From now on, you need to become soft when it comes to her issue and always be around her. Help her to do everything in the house, in fact don't allow her to do anything anymore. If she coughs go and say sorry to her. Just behave as if you are her husband.

You too imaging your mother with five kids, and you just 21years the eldest. She has been trying in her life working tirelessly to take care of you guys, it is not easy, this may have even made her to become aggressive. Please, go back to her severally and beg her until she says it is okay.

See, you need that your mom in every areas of your life. For you to have a blessed family of yours you need her blessings. You will understand this when you need her. I am talking to you from experience because I am 20years older than you. I will not write too much so that you can get my point. But any advice on this space that does not make sense, don't mind them at all, that is Nairalanders for you. Merry Xmas.

God bless u sir 4 putting the guy in right direction. Merry Xmas!!!

I've lived for over 30 something years on this planet and I've never for once shouted at my mum. How a 21 years old boy who hasn't even achieved anything in life,develops the guts to do that,baffles me. You better retrace your steps before you destroy yourself.

Being good to your parent especially your determine if you will enter paradise, try all possible way to ask for for forgiveness and make her happy henceforth and never hurt her again