₦airaland Forum

bellong:
Some of the problems confronting marriages these days are lack of tolerance, insincerity, pride and destructive ego.

Laying a solid foundation right from pre-meeting your spouse to courtship and the marriage proper will go a long way to building a vibrant union.

Mindfulness:
Being single and happy is the best prerequisite to being married and happy, I am speaking from experience.

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!..My house(it's not a home for me) is a living hell,I was born into it and until this moment,nothing has changed..Same goes for all the families I've ever come across..Do not be decieved,marry only when you've learnt taekwando like my mum and boxing like my dad..That is all there is to marriage,nothing more!

madamL:
my marriage will be 25 years this march and we look forward to many more years of life together. the secret? first, there is no provision for divorce. partners for life, that's the slogan and bearing that in mind, we have to tough it out together to the very end. the most important thing is that i married a man who is patient and who rarely loses his temper. back in the days, i was temperamental and knew that so i picked a cool-headed fellow who ignored my tantrums in the early days; i have changed much though with time.
again, we used to be serious opposites, and it turned out that his weak points were my strong points so we took consolation in that when our desires and ways clashed. over time, we have ceased to be opposites, we have a middle ground in most things. then another secret is that we have a way of banding together to face any outsider which includes his relations and mine, we speak with one voice to all outsiders and settled the rest of the outstanding matters out of their sight. he encourages me a lot. he has twice chased me back to school for two masters degrees. he also agreed to take care of our very small kids then when i did a lot of junketing as a top journalist.
he is full of confidence and does not feel threatened by any height i want to attain, he is my loudest cheerleader.
i think the defining moment was when we had a big disagreement very early in the union and he called in my sister to judge the matter. i bluntly refused to talk and told him that it was entirely our biz; no one else has ever dared to act as judge in our matter since then.
i wonder the type of ndi oga some women marry that keep tormenting them and refusing to eat at every opportunity. if a man cannot be your good friend and lover, run away fast. we go do the anniversary party soon and i fit invite everybody, rice and stew very plenty.

madamL:
my marriage will be 25 years this march and we look forward to many more years of life together. the secret? first, there is no provision for divorce. partners for life, that's the slogan and bearing that in mind, we have to tough it out together to the very end. the most important thing is that i married a man who is patient and who rarely loses his temper. back in the days, i was temperamental and knew that so i picked a cool-headed fellow who ignored my tantrums in the early days; i have changed much though with time.
again, we used to be serious opposites, and it turned out that his weak points were my strong points so we took consolation in that when our desires and ways clashed. over time, we have ceased to be opposites, we have a middle ground in most things. then another secret is that we have a way of banding together to face any outsider which includes his relations and mine, we speak with one voice to all outsiders and settled the rest of the outstanding matters out of their sight. he encourages me a lot. he has twice chased me back to school for two masters degrees. he also agreed to take care of our very small kids then when i did a lot of junketing as a top journalist.
he is full of confidence and does not feel threatened by any height i want to attain, he is my loudest cheerleader.
i think the defining moment was when we had a big disagreement very early in the union and he called in my sister to judge the matter. i bluntly refused to talk and told him that it was entirely our biz; no one else has ever dared to act as judge in our matter since then.
i wonder the type of ndi oga some women marry that keep tormenting them and refusing to eat at every opportunity. if a man cannot be your good friend and lover, run away fast. we go do the anniversary party soon and i fit invite everybody, rice and stew very plenty.

bukatyne:

Ginaz:
One day I'll be happily married but for the main time, my husband is searching for me. He'll find me soon. Can someone please give him a map? He's looking at the wrong places while I'm here waiting for him to come

Ginaz:
One day I'll be happily married but for the main time, my husband is searching for me. He'll find me soon. Can someone please give him a map? He's looking at the wrong places while I'm here waiting for him to come

taryour:
Nice thread,here is what works for me.
Firstly I went into my relationship with a statement on my mind(if my mum can remain with my dad with all the challenges they had which I also witnessed,then I can do better)
Ability to communicate effectively, while dating and up till now in marriage with 2 kids our communication has remained very very solid.
Communication has really helped my relationship a lot,it helps us both trash our differences amicably,there are somethings I can't say to my hubby face(cause I know I might not present it well and I don't want to be rude) so I put it into a chat and he understands me perfectly well. Each time we have our arguments,we make sure we apologise n trash it out before the end of the day.we do not go to bed in anger.
I have also learnt not to argue so much with my hubby,whenever he is angry with me am quite and let his anger subside then I apologise(even if deep down in my heart I know I wasn't wrong)I still apologise,I know how angry my hubby can get and I know better than to push further,we both have a bad temper but there can only be one leader,outside my home you don't dare mess with me,I will dish it to you very hot and spicy. I am the very aggressive type but hubby isn't,he is more calm than I am. I argue a lot too but not with hubby except in cases when we are gisting and having fun. Hubby loves football but I hate it with everything but what can I do I simply got used to it,my first son already took after him as a football fan.
We both understand ourselves perfectly,we have been together for over 10years now. We have had our ups and downs which has taught us to be more united and understand ourselves better.
Our sex life might not be has active as when we where still single cause of kids but we have both been active,we have fun anywhere in the house(of course when kids are asleep or in school).we try out new things and I sure don't forget my bowl of ice-cream when I want to give a special treat(call me a dirty woman/raw woman/sex freak/whatever) I care less,his my man.
We have remained each others best friends,we share gifts,watch movies together,shop together,hubby goes to market for me at times and cook as well, we gossip together and share news with each other. We are both social media fans(we actually meet on a social forum and started as friends before dating which led to our marriage). We don't hide anything from each other. He introduced me to nairaland and he is also a active member on nairaland.
We do not encourage 3rd parties into our affairs,it has never and will never happen. What ever happens within our walls die within our walls.we both help ourselves to remain strong in work life and business life. We support ourselves in every possible way we can with the help of God and for once I have never regretted meeting my hubby. If there is a next life,I would chose the same man all over again.
My marriage is not perfect cause there is no perfect marriage but I tell you,marriage is fun and am loving it all the way.

Ginaz:
One day I'll be happily married but for the main time, my husband is searching for me. He'll find me soon. Can someone please give him a map? He's looking at the wrong places while I'm here waiting for him to come

Ginaz:
One day I'll be happily married but for the main time, my husband is searching for me. He'll find me soon. Can someone please give him a map? He's looking at the wrong places while I'm here waiting for him to come

praxisnetworks:
happiness is a state which you're unconscious of..... Once you become conscious that you are happy.... You cease to be happy

confun:
Marriage is sweet my brother if it is based on love not money, looks or whatever....
Married for less dan 5 yrs and I must tell u, it keeps getting sweeter by d day...
I love my hubby, I cherish him, i don't disrespect him, it never gets into my head to talk anyhow to him..,God forbid, funny enough he in turn loves me so much, he doesn't disrespect me too...we talk, we gist, we pray together, we get involved in church activities together etc
He makes money, I make money, he has access to my ATM and other passwords, i av access to his own too, no dragging of money or unnecessary matters...we are best of friends...
To him, life is not hard, to me too, life is easy...
So, OP, dir is hope for you, many marriages are sweet bt seems d crashing ones are more. May God help you.....

lily12:
My dear Nairalanders,

I don tire for this situation.

I have read Nairaland posts for years as a guest. Every single post we see about marriage lately seems to be negative. I am not belittling the foolishness of cheating men when I say this: I am shocked that women can cheat so blatantly these days. I think it's tme to revive the hopes of those men who add two years to their marriage date when they see threads about disloyal "wives"... time to spare single women from the headache of being banded together with all these disloyal women, keeping them single even longer... let's restore the reputation of the institution of marriage as a blessing, a source of favour and a worthy calling that need not be delayed out of fear.

Please, ladies and gentlemen of Nairaland, there must be some happy marriages amongst us. If you have a good wife, please tell us why and how she is amazing. If you have a good husband, please share why and how he is amazing. If you have a good marriage, please take a moment to share your story here.

Let’s start 2016 on a positive note.

May the Lord restore the marriages of those who are currently facing crises, in Jesus’ Name.

Happy new year.

sonofananimal:
sister! This is just the starting,

Just let it reach 10 years and that love will fly like a bird.

Xsolutions:
ONLY MATURE post so far, not like the ones above who have only been married for 4 or 5 years. I think one should only take seriously the comment of those who have been married for 10 years and above...
God Bless Your Marriage more.Amen

saasala:
Why you dey shekpe for the woman na

lily12:
My dear Nairalanders,

I don tire for this situation.

I have read Nairaland posts for years as a guest. Every single post we see about marriage lately seems to be negative. I am not belittling the foolishness of cheating men when I say this: I am shocked that women can cheat so blatantly these days. I think it's tme to revive the hopes of those men who add two years to their marriage date when they see threads about disloyal "wives"... time to spare single women from the headache of being banded together with all these disloyal women, keeping them single even longer... let's restore the reputation of the institution of marriage as a blessing, a source of favour and a worthy calling that need not be delayed out of fear.

Please, ladies and gentlemen of Nairaland, there must be some happy marriages amongst us. If you have a good wife, please tell us why and how she is amazing. If you have a good husband, please share why and how he is amazing. If you have a good marriage, please take a moment to share your story here.

Let’s start 2016 on a positive note.

May the Lord restore the marriages of those who are currently facing crises, in Jesus’ Name.

Happy new year.

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!!

taryour:
Nice thread,here is what works for me.
Firstly I went into my relationship with a statement on my mind(if my mum can remain with my dad with all the challenges they had which I also witnessed,then I can do better)
Ability to communicate effectively, while dating and up till now in marriage with 2 kids our communication has remained very very solid.
Communication has really helped my relationship a lot,it helps us both trash our differences amicably,there are somethings I can't say to my hubby face(cause I know I might not present it well and I don't want to be rude) so I put it into a chat and he understands me perfectly well. Each time we have our arguments,we make sure we apologise n trash it out before the end of the day.we do not go to bed in anger.
I have also learnt not to argue so much with my hubby,whenever he is angry with me am quite and let his anger subside then I apologise(even if deep down in my heart I know I wasn't wrong)I still apologise,I know how angry my hubby can get and I know better than to push further,we both have a bad temper but there can only be one leader,outside my home you don't dare mess with me,I will dish it to you very hot and spicy. I am the very aggressive type but hubby isn't,he is more calm than I am. I argue a lot too but not with hubby except in cases when we are gisting and having fun. Hubby loves football but I hate it with everything but what can I do I simply got used to it,my first son already took after him as a football fan.
We both understand ourselves perfectly,we have been together for over 10years now. We have had our ups and downs which has taught us to be more united and understand ourselves better.
Our sex life might not be has active as when we where still single cause of kids but we have both been active,we have fun anywhere in the house(of course when kids are asleep or in school).we try out new things and I sure don't forget my bowl of ice-cream when I want to give a special treat(call me a dirty woman/raw woman/sex freak/whatever) I care less,his my man.
We have remained each others best friends,we share gifts,watch movies together,shop together,hubby goes to market for me at times and cook as well, we gossip together and share news with each other. We are both social media fans(we actually meet on a social forum and started as friends before dating which led to our marriage). We don't hide anything from each other. He introduced me to nairaland and he is also a active member on nairaland.
We do not encourage 3rd parties into our affairs,it has never and will never happen. What ever happens within our walls die within our walls.we both help ourselves to remain strong in work life and business life. We support ourselves in every possible way we can with the help of God and for once I have never regretted meeting my hubby. If there is a next life,I would chose the same man all over again.
My marriage is not perfect cause there is no perfect marriage but I tell you,marriage is fun and am loving it all the way.

EBIXANDRA:
The journey of ten years starts with a day, don't refer to others as immature, what some people have seen and achieved in two years, even the one's married for ten years haven't seen half.

ladenz:
Nice. 2 things

1. Please don't reveal your husband's identity on nairaland or they might try and snatch him.

2. What exactly did you do with the ice cream

Xsolutions:
ONLY MATURE post so far, not like the ones above who have only been married for 4 or 5 years. I think one should only take seriously the comment of those who have been married for 10 years and above...
God Bless Your Marriage more.Amen

taryour:
Lol. Its a bedmatic course 401 for lovers. *lips sealed*

EBIXANDRA:
The journey of ten years starts with a day, don't refer to others as immature, what some people have seen and achieved in two years, even the one's married for ten years haven't seen half.