Hmmmm...what can I say? I am the most luckiest woman on earth. I blessed the day I met my husband, I blessed the day we became friends and I also blessed the day I said ' yes I do'. I am happily married with 2kids. Thank God I didn't miss it in marriage. I love u Olowo ori mi, Oluwa mi, Oludamoran mi, Alasiri mi, Ore mi, Ife mi...

Dmcdad... This thread is for you...


Thank me later...

praxisnetworks:
happiness is a state which you're unconscious of..... Once you become conscious that you are happy.... You cease to be happy

then hw can we always be unconscious and mentain our happiness?

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!..My house(it's not a home for me) is a living hell,I was born into it and until this moment,nothing has changed..Same goes for all the families I've ever come across..Do not be decieved,marry only when you've learnt taekwando like my mum and boxing like my dad..That is all there is to marriage,nothing more!

It must suck to have your life unfortunately whether you believe it or not, some couples are happily married.

menix:
When marriages were enjoyed were dayz when women don't know the difference between Big nd small prick, they enjoy what the man has...

But today, if u say hi to a lady, her 1st queshion is can u handle me

lolz.dis is hilarious

I've got a mental view/picture of the kind of home I'd love to have and it's definitely a very beautiful and lovely one. I've waited this long just so I can get it right cos I'd never be happy if I end up with the wrong person. I know there might be issues but I pray to God to give me strength to handle them. One thing I know I'd never tolerate,is a cheating spouse. If the only ticket to make heaven is for me to forgive such a lady and accept her back as wife,I'd rather go to hell and rot there. I've had lots of pretty married ladies try to cheat with me but everytime I'm about to fall into the temptation of having sex with them,I begin to imagine karma getting back at me in future and someone else doing same to my wife and at that point,I get back my senses and decide to let go. It really hasn't been easy(especially with the extremely hot ones) but my conscience has always helped me to make the right decisions,with the help of God. I'm not yet married but my experiences with married women,has taught me to know that it's extremely difficult for a man to know when his wife is cheating on him. I think the ones who get caught,are the careless ones. The one thing that scares me more about marriage,is infidelity. I've have read and heard so many stories about it,and have had ladies almost try it with me. To be sincere,I've actually been kissed and romanced by a married woman who lacks nothing. I actually bailed out from having sex with her. My experiences with women has made me very scared of marriage on one hand but it's something I'd love to finally get involved in,in the nearest future...

All I can do here is to congratulate all those who are having a wonderful marriage. May your happiness and joy last long. Like airforce1 would always say: "joining you guys soon".

We met in 2013 and got married on dec 31st 2015, she stood by me all this while even when I had nothing, she's decent and faithful rebuffed others who were trying to steal her from me.

Just have to develop trust for ur intended, u need time to study the character and see if u can tolerate cos , ur partner will do things that can be annoying at times.

Yes marriage can be challenging, but also rewarding its ablessing and open doors, on the way to our wedding jus mentioning to the oolice men and others who stand on the highway opened the roads for us, u see it brings joy to all who hear u just married.

There are couples with happy marriages out there, don't let the negative comments of a few discourage u.

You even learn more from those who divorced on what a good marriage should be , u have to be determined to stay married as a couple that's my advice.

Am I Happy?
Yes
Am I happily married?
Yes
Why?
Because I have no expectations whatsoever. I give my all to my marriage with no reservations, it makes me happy. My happiness cannot be determined by another person.

Is my husband happy?
Yes
Happily married?
Yes
Why?
Because he married a happy woman who remains happy in spite of the situation, and joy is contagious.

Like today, Oga dropped me at the market and forgot to give me the money to cook. I used the money I held for baby wipes (patapata, I will wash baby's bum bum with water and soap). I saw goat meat, chai, ds one go make one bad ass soup o! I chartered it.

Oga called, hw far, you forgot to collect money to cook (as if say he didn't forget to give me). I told him I used baby wipes money.

He came home with the baby wipes (I didn't expect it, but nothing spoil, no need for water and soap therapy) and he praised food taya, goat meat never tasted so good.

Buying the baby wipes made me happy today. Goat meat made him happy today. Tomorrow, we will seek other ways to make each other happy. We are in this together for eternity, so you better spend eternity making each other happy!

We fight and bicker and argue and scream at each other, it's not all rosy, let nobody deceive you but we still got love for each other, and make up somehow, with a peace offering.

Just do your best happily without malice. If your husband is not a monster, he will appreciate you and you will both live happily ever after.

And if he upsets you, always remember Joel Osteen, "Let no man steal your Joy"

Actually, I agree with you that the spate of broken or crisis marriage is increasing daily in our society such that it has over shadowed the fact that there are still marriages that are rosy and beautiful.

Well I'm happy to say I'm among the few that have a very happy home. Got married to my very best girl after 15 years of friendship.

What makes it fun and happy for me is that she is very understanding, cool headed and we work things out. No one yells when there is an issue. We talk it over as friends.

We act as pals on my requests because I notice that the moment you start doing the husband and wife thing, you can easily get tired of each other. But friends hardly get tired of each other; due to the longing of freshness.

Let me not bore you guyz too much but I'm summary, marriage is playful and fun. If you take it to be this 'serious' 'serious' thing, that fun won't be there. As a guy a take her to be my gf, I introduce her to people as my gf not wife because I feel there is that value guys plays on having a gf and once you begin to take it to wife level, you get bored over time.

For me, one of the best ways to avoid cheating is to make her look trendy and girlish per second. We go to the movies, I club with her up till now and so on...

Marriage is sweeter than honey.

Thanks for your precious time.

coded01:
Dmcdad... This thread is for you...


Thank me later...

Bros abeg how is it for me?

MsPat:
mitchyy...u don waka reach here abi?

To me o, marriage is what you make of it. You have to make a decision to make it work, once you lose sight of that, it starts to crumble. You can also read books on relationships, it helps....you would know what to expect and how to handle it.

The key ingredient to a blissful union is communication, lose that and you lose everything! So also, you should trust and respect your spouse... above all, put God in charge.

Hahahaha. Na boredom carry me reach here o

With confidence, I make bold to say that marriage is one of the best thing that has happened to me. I am a vary happy dude in marriage.

My gf as I gladly call her, was a friend for 15 year b4 we got married & I still take her as my friend and not 'wife'. I realised that d moment u start doing d husband n wife thing, u can easily get bored and ur partner becomes outdated to u hence d cheating factor may likely step in.

I'm enjoying marriage cos of d understanding, love & fun we share. We don't act as married couple, we just ball like gf & bf till date. Reason being that a man tends to value his gf but once the wife thing comes in, u stand a chance to begin to see her as old fashion thereby diminishing that feeling (love) that 1st got u to her.

I make her look trendy, we club, we go to d movies; just name all those things that make hanging out with a lady pleasurable, we do them till now.

With our understanding, no one yells at the other, whatever the issue is, we talk it over and even make it playful. So it makes the whole union fresh & rosy per second.

Marriage is playful that's what I have taken it to be and it's working.

lily12:
My dear Nairalanders,

I don tire for this situation.

I have read Nairaland posts for years as a guest. Every single post we see about marriage lately seems to be negative. I am not belittling the foolishness of cheating men when I say this: I am shocked that women can cheat so blatantly these days. I think it's tme to revive the hopes of those men who add two years to their marriage date when they see threads about disloyal "wives"... time to spare single women from the headache of being banded together with all these disloyal women, keeping them single even longer... let's restore the reputation of the institution of marriage as a blessing, a source of favour and a worthy calling that need not be delayed out of fear.

Please, ladies and gentlemen of Nairaland, there must be some happy marriages amongst us. If you have a good wife, please tell us why and how she is amazing. If you have a good husband, please share why and how he is amazing. If you have a good marriage, please take a moment to share your story here.

Let’s start 2016 on a positive note.

May the Lord restore the marriages of those who are currently facing crises, in Jesus’ Name.

Happy new year.

dmcdad:





Bros abeg how is it for me?

Take time and read na...


Ok... Let me break it down for you... There is hope... You feel me...

PresVA:
Hmmmm, so one can't truly know if he/she is happy or not?

What he wrote is absolute bu.llshiiit

*speaking to women*

You can never be 100% happy unless you are married to a simpleton who does your bidding ALL THE TIME.. but you can be happy almost all the time , if you get your values in the right place, marry a dear friend & you are committed to making your marriage work....

Do not marry if you are a feminist, it will never work!!!

Most women create unnecessary tension & drama by listening to naysayers & trying to model their homes over some ideals without taking into consideration that they are dealing with a grown ass ADULT , women should be matured enough to realise that your partner is his own man, was raised by different parents & is not subject to your whims & caprices..

Women these days complain about a man not helping them in the kitchen & turn that into a big issue in their marriage, get a maid if you need help, such inanity is not worth having cracks in your marriage for!!

Women should try as much as possible to marry someone they genuinely like, respect & will make sacrifices for without batting an eyelid....

Been married going on 11yrs, courted for 8yrs, blessed with 3 lovely youngins & each day thank God i never let childish stuff like "He doesn't like PDA , he does not do household chores, does not listen when i tell him what to do " derail me when i was younger & not in my right senses!!!! My home is sweet & people call on us to settle their marital disputes thinking we have one magic formula, All we have is mutual understanding, friendship,compromise & Tolerance

I thank God for giving me a partner that is loving, solid, dependable, & most important of all, doesn't dwell on my own fault cos we women yap about men but gloss over our own imperfections....


*caveat*... I'm married to an easy going Joker , patient, doesn't take life hard, is a gentleman & a man of deep faith, so maybe I'm having a one dimensional outlook*

Kachisbarbie:
it's a lie, 99.9% of married people in Nigeria are unhappy.
They are just suffering and smiling... they are battered, shattered and embittered.

Source: www.AwonAyeAtNairaland.com

Am telling you.. Pple rushed down to the post to paint words. Nobody will accept having probs now in marriages. Even some ladies here their husbands r big time cheat n drunks r here pretending..

I can easily state some reasons for unhappy marriages..



1. Most ladies married cos they needed a financial breakthrough...

2. Some ladies even in relationships know that their men r flirts Buh they went ahead accepting his proposal just all in d name of being desperate.. If you can't change a man in a relationship, u can't change him in marriage.

3. Some men r so irresponsible that they never planned their life n went ahead to marry. With time u see them giving birth to 8 kids in a room n thereby living in poverty..in this case,most ladies mount pressure on d man all in d name of desperation. For eg.....


I studied engineering in school n v also finished my nysc.. I v a friend who is a medical nurse n she z a yr older than me.. She mounted much pressure on me last yr even wanted to connect me to an oil company job Buh I refused cos I know where the whole mess Will land me(a lady controlling d family)..
Thank God I used my initiative to handle her n now everything is a story.. We don't communicate again..
Assuming I made that mistake,I would v regretted it my whole life..

I always say it n will say it all over again ..
THERE IS NO HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE WHEN YU AS A MAN IS NOT ABLE TO TAKE UP UR RESPONSIBILITIES..
4. Yu committing yaself to a serious relationship when u know truly well your not ready for marriage..


I will always the ladies this ..MARRIAGE IS NOT A COMPULSORY RANSOM ATTACHED TO LIFE..everybody musnt marry no matter the desperation. The best as a lady is to go to sch,read n make good grade..come out n get yaself a job . live happily n see marriage come naturally. No age is late for marriage..my aunty that's 50+ just married last yr.

Ladies shud stop making mistakes in life just as a result of desperation.

So Sweet...Me likey.Hubby patiently waiting for u

2goodbobo:
I can beat my chest and confidently tell you that i am happily married.

I have been married for few years now and we dated for more than a year

before we got married. My wife is so loving, God-fearing, lettered, good cook, beautiful,

submissive, and a helper. Infact i got married to my wife when i had no job and she

was really supportive. But all that is history because God blessed me with a job few weeks

after my wedding. We dont just see ourselves as couples but friends hence, is so easy for us

to leave together and apologise to each other when fight dey . God has blessed our union

with a beautiful girl. I want to use this medium to say a big thank you to my wife for all the

unconditional love you have shown me. Marraige with you is simple . I will marry you over

and over again! You have made me wear the crown of a prince among my firends and fam.

I can only pray to God to sustain us and keep us together.Honestly i dont have any reason

to complain about my marriage or my wife.


Finally, I also believe that if you show your wife love and affection, there is no how she will

not do the same to you. I also dont see myself as the head but instead see us as one body

and i make sure i apologise to her even when she is wrong. Like my Father will always say

" When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all then you are ready for marriage". Merci tout le monde.

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!..My house(it's not a home for me) is a living hell,I was born into it and until this moment,nothing has changed..Same goes for all the families I've ever come across..Do not be decieved,marry only when you've learnt taekwando like my mum and boxing like my dad..That is all there is to marriage,nothing more!

Realberry, I am sorry you're feeling like this, I understand where you're coming from. You should persuade yourself to get out of that paranoid state. We don't know what your parents' experiences are. They are the ones wearing the shoes so they know better. No apportioning of blames to anyone. But you should know dear that conflicts even outside marriage are better settled with dialogue.

You should also know as a matter of fact that your own marriage doesn't have to be like theirs and you as their daughter can step into their differences to build the gap.

My parents are in their 60s and their marriage is enviable. Their love is infectious, they are a rallying point for many couples around, our house is like a small Mecca. Maybe I took a cue from them to my own marriage. My husband on his part did not have it that good. He has 3 step-mums, there was no love lost between them. You know what? All of that strengthened his resolve to make his own marriage work come what may. Let me tell you, he is not doing badly.

Realberry, maybe you should borrow a leaf from my husband. Marriage is good, get a good man to share the experience with and you'll have nothing but pure bliss.

.

All I read here is, I av bn married for 5yrs/less. Abeg make una talk about marriage when your marriages are 12yrs/older. The 1st 5yrs of married na bed of roses...after 10yrs, the problems that love had bn quenching grows stronger.... By then na God go matter pass, love won't b enough.

@realberry pls try to change your impression of marriage.You can have a wonderful marriage despite your all you have seen in your family.My parents are separated,I was raised by a single mum.My dad till date doesn't even have my number,cos he was never there for me.I owe my success today as a lawyer to my mother.I am sure you have not seen the worst of marriages.

As someone who was mediating on at least 3 divorce cases a day,I should not even be getting married with all. I have heard a lot of sad/negative stories to the point that nothing surprises me anymore.From a man who woke his wife up in d middle of the night,bathed her with acid simply because she bought a land.Abi is it a woman who was sleeping with her husband's younger cousin that was living with them?Yet,I still believe that marriage is a beautiful thing if you are well prepared and do it when its right for you.With God,financial and emotional maturity,there's nothing you can't survive.My mother always taught me never to judge a man based on my father,or what I see as a divorce attorney.

Today I am engaged to an amazing man that cares for me more than he cares for himself.Trust me when I say I am more than willing to spend the rest of my life with him.In the pastI, didn't want to ever get married,but my mum would tell me to reject it for myself!That I will have a happy marriage,and I started making a conscious effort to work at my relationship.There is no perfect relationship/marriage.The key is to apologize and laugh it off.understanding is very important too.Many get married,without trying to understand themselves to a point where they can cohabit peacefully.I have a very hot temper but he has figured out a way to calm me down,me too I have to bend in most cases and swallow my pride to apologize to him when we have issues.


Never for once has he raised his hand to hit me,or disrespect me.Not all men are physically abusive,there are still men who would never hit a woman!He doesn't have so much money,so I am not even with him for what he can do for me.I am with him because I love the way he loves me,and I have come to love him more than he loves me with each passing day.I see in him the accomplished man he would become in future.With me by his side,there's nothing he can't achieve because I am willing to support and encourage him in his dreams.Marriage based on deep love will always find a way to overcome challenges.Hold on and I am sure you will meet the one that will make you come and modify this post in a few months time.

As for those saying those who have been. married for less than 10 years should not talk about being happily married.I pity you!More than 50 percent of the divorce cases I handle happens between couples married for less than 5 years.Newly married couples have a lot of issues ranging from family interference,adjustments to the quirky habits and values of their partner.He may want the light on at night,while she doesn't sleep with lights on.Probably they were just seeing on weekends during courtship so one had to succumb to the will of the other.Things like that are the issues they face,for the immature ones it can lead to their divorce.That's where he/or she says their partner doesn't respect his/her opinion,simply because they couldn't find a way to resolve little issues.

The grudge of those small things head on to affect the big things.Before you know it they have drifted apart and calling up a lawyer to file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences.So,for someone to have crossed that. 5 year mark means they are done with the adjustment stage in marriage,therefore more compatible and mature to handle challenges.

I thank Allah for mine cos I don't regret it.

lily12:
My dear Nairalanders,

I don tire for this situation.

I have read Nairaland posts for years as a guest. Every single post we see about marriage lately seems to be negative. I am not belittling the foolishness of cheating men when I say this: I am shocked that women can cheat so blatantly these days. I think it's tme to revive the hopes of those men who add two years to their marriage date when they see threads about disloyal "wives"... time to spare single women from the headache of being banded together with all these disloyal women, keeping them single even longer... let's restore the reputation of the institution of marriage as a blessing, a source of favour and a worthy calling that need not be delayed out of fear.

Please, ladies and gentlemen of Nairaland, there must be some happy marriages amongst us. If you have a good wife, please tell us why and how she is amazing. If you have a good husband, please share why and how he is amazing. If you have a good marriage, please take a moment to share your story here.

Let’s start 2016 on a positive note.

May the Lord restore the marriages of those who are currently facing crises, in Jesus’ Name.

Happy new year.

Marriage is sweet, good,beautiful, I'm a living testimony. I met him 5 years ago before saying I do, I found in him my best friend and soul mate...Something pushed us together and we never gave up until we became one.. OLUWAmayowa mi means more than the world to me, words can express how terrific this guy is...he's everything, my dear forumites if I ever have the opportunity to come to this world again I'll glady gv him a yes.. I'll stick to him because he's sacrificed a whole lot for me, there's a time he needed me the most but I dumped him, yet he didnt give up on me, he stood by me against all odds, that even when the table turned against me, he still accepted me back into his arms...He's such a man with an heart of gold and I'll love him forever.. I have made my share of mistakes, learned a whole lot of lessons, I have grown and matured while married to the same man and I'm still very much in love with him...Marriage has taught me how to share, when OLUWAmayowa and I came together what used to be mine now became ours.I.grew to understand that everything about marriage is about eachother, from the food we eat ( we eat together using one plate), to the toothpaste we use and even to using a joint bank account... Marriage has also taught me about giving, it helps me understand that it's an ultimate sacrifice that must come from the heart. OLUWAmayowa has also taught me to be selfless..that's why I call him my precious, my Treasure, IFEMI (my love), Ademi (my crown) , above all of these names he's my rare gem because truly his kind is rare and I Count myself lucky to have had him

yomi007k:
im happily married to money.


Does that count? lol

hmmmm derailer, op don't mind him we are happily married.

ivyT:


Aww.this is so lovely

i tap into ur marriage success.Amen

before you tap, can you marry a jobless man? and support him, till things get better …

If you want to be happily married then busy yourself with more important things like, how crude oil is affecting the economic, who will win UEFA Champions Leaque, the new coach of super eagles, etc. and while the woman should be concerned about which country to travel for vacation, which car to buy, where to live, the school the children would attend, but provide the cash.

coded01:






Take time and read na...


Ok... Let me break it down for you... There is hope... You feel me...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I actually read it after making that first post. Hmmm

Make we dey see sha. Na God hand we dey oooooo.

Teddeebear:
before you tap, can you marry a jobless man? and support him, till things get better …

O boy... See GMAT question!

Teddeebear:
before you tap, can you marry a jobless man? and support him, till things get better …

Ofcourse,i can*most of our parents started that way and there was abundance in the end.

#HeMustBeLoyal

DuchessLily:
Women always wanna beat/outshine men in most things. .. It's so so sad that they are also outshinning them now in cheating, so sad and annoying.

Again, devil is working full time now. End time!

God help us, our homes and marriages .

Long and short, We all need God

is this your own marriage story they ask you to share? smmmmmhhhh

dmcdad:

O boy... See GMAT question!

lol, na JAMB not GMAT, we never reach that level lol