₦airaland Forum

ivyT:
Ofcourse,i can*most of our parents started that way and there was abundance in the end.

#HeMustBeLoyal

queenfav:
@realberry pls try to change your impression of marriage.You can have a wonderful marriage despite your all you have seen in your family.My parents are separated,I was raised by a single mum.My dad till date doesn't even have my number,cos he was never there for me.I owe my success today as a lawyer to my mother.I am sure you have not seen the worst of marriages.

As someone who was mediating on at least 3 divorce cases a day,I should not even be getting married with all. I have heard a lot of sad/negative stories to the point that nothing surprises me anymore.From a man who woke his wife up in d middle of the night,bathed her with acid simply because she bought a land.Abi is it a woman who was sleeping with her husband's younger cousin that was living with them?Yet,I still believe that marriage is a beautiful thing if you are well prepared and do it when its right for you.With God,financial and emotional maturity,there's nothing you can't survive.My mother always taught me never to judge a man based on my father,or what I see as a divorce attorney.

Today I am engaged to an amazing man that cares for me more than he cares for himself.Trust me when I say I am more than willing to spend the rest of my life with him.In the pastI, didn't want to ever get married,but my mum would tell me to reject it for myself!That I will have a happy marriage,and I started making a conscious effort to work at my relationship.There is no perfect relationship/marriage.The key is to apologize and laugh it off.understanding is very important too.Many get married,without trying to understand themselves to a point where they can cohabit peacefully.I have a very hot temper but he has figured out a way to calm me down,me too I have to bend in most cases and swallow my pride to apologize to him when we have issues.


Never for once has he raised his hand to hit me,or disrespect me.Not all men are physically abusive,there are still men who would never hit a woman!He doesn't have so much money,so I am not even with him for what he can do for me.I am with him because I love the way he loves me,and I have come to love him more that he does me with each passing day.I see in him the accomplished man he would become in future.With me by his side,there's nothing he can't achieve because I am willing to support and encourage him in his dreams.Marriage based on deep love will always find a way to overcome challenges.Hold on and I am sure you will meet the one that will make you come and modify this post in a few months time.

As for those saying those who have been. married for less than 10 years should not talk about being happily married.I pity you!More than 50 percent of the divorce cases I handle happens between couples married for less than 5 years.Newly married couples have a lot of issues ranging from family interference,adjustments to the quirky habits and values of their partner.He may want the light on at night,while she doesn't sleep with lights off.Probably they were just seeing on weekends during courtship so one had to succumb to the will of the other.Things like that are the issues they face,for the immature ones it can lead to their divorce.That's where he/or she says their partner doesn't respect his/her opinion,simply because they couldn't find a way to resolve little issues.

The grudge of those small things head on to affect the big things.Before you know it they have drifted apart and calling up a lawyer to file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences.So,for someone to have crossed that. 5 year mark means they are done with the adjustment stage in marriage,therefore more compatible and mature to handle challenges.

Teddeebear:
that's cool, but That is what Most ladies say, just to appear good, but they don't do it in reality. I hope you are different

Zuriela:
Once u say I'm happily married you'll see people that will 'yimu' cos too many sad marriage stories are beginning to make pple think no one is truly happily married.
**And Yes I'm happily married to my best friend and we're still best friends**

mitchyy:
Hahahaha. Na boredom carry me reach here o

ivyT:
Every1 wants the good things of life;no doubt

Alanjeffy:
Am telling you.. Pple rushed down to the post to paint words. Nobody will accept having probs now in marriages. Even some ladies here their husbands r big time cheat n drunks r here pretending..

I can easily state some reasons for unhappy marriages..



1. Most ladies married cos they needed a financial breakthrough...

2. Some ladies even in relationships know that their men r flirts Buh they went ahead accepting his proposal just all in d name of being desperate.. If you can't change a man in a relationship, u can't change him in marriage.

3. Some men r so irresponsible that they never planned their life n went ahead to marry. With time u see them giving birth to 8 kids in a room n thereby living in poverty..in this case,most ladies mount pressure on d man all in d name of desperation. For eg.....


I studied engineering in school n v also finished my nysc.. I v a friend who is a medical nurse n she z a yr older than me.. She mounted much pressure on me last yr even wanted to connect me to an oil company job Buh I refused cos I know where the whole mess Will land me(a lady controlling d family)..
Thank God I used my initiative to handle her n now everything is a story.. We don't communicate again..
Assuming I made that mistake,I would v regretted it my whole life..

I always say it n will say it all over again ..
THERE IS NO HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE WHEN YU AS A MAN IS NOT ABLE TO TAKE UP UR RESPONSIBILITIES..
4. Yu committing yaself to a serious relationship when u know truly well your not ready for marriage..


I will always the ladies this ..MARRIAGE IS NOT A COMPULSORY RANSOM ATTACHED TO LIFE..everybody musnt marry no matter the desperation. The best as a lady is to go to sch,read n make good grade..come out n get yaself a job . live happily n see marriage come naturally. No age is late for marriage..my aunty that's 50+ just married last yr.

Ladies shud stop making mistakes in life just as a result of desperation.

Ahha.
I knew there are people like you that would support me. They never said they don't have problems in their marriages, they only learnt to pull through it.

I was only being sarcastic with my previous post. Don't merry yet

Ginaz:
One day I'll be happily married but for the main time, my husband is searching for me. He'll find me soon. Can someone please give him a map? He's looking at the wrong places while I'm here waiting for him to come

maryhaam:
hmmmm derailer, op don't mind him we are happily married.

989900:
Truly happily married folks don't have time for this kinda BS.

nefertitiram:
Am I Happy?
Yes
Am I happily married?
Yes
Why?
Because I have no expectations whatsoever. I give my all to my marriage with no reservations, it makes me happy. My happiness cannot be determined by another person.

Is my husband happy?
Yes
Happily married?
Yes
Why?
Because he married a happy woman who remains happy in spite of the situation, and joy is contagious.

Like today, Oga dropped me at the market and forgot to give me the money to cook. I used the money I held for baby wipes (patapata, I will wash baby's bum bum with water and soap). I saw goat meat, chai, ds one go make one bad ass soup o! I chartered it.

Oga called, hw far, you forgot to collect money to cook (as if say he didn't forget to give me). I told him I used baby wipes money.

He came home with the baby wipes (I didn't expect it, but nothing spoil, no need for water and soap therapy) and he praised food taya, goat meat never tasted so good.

Buying the baby wipes made me happy today. Goat meat made him happy today. Tomorrow, we will seek other ways to make each other happy. We are in this together for eternity, so you better spend eternity making each other happy!

We fight and bicker and argue and scream at each other, it's not all rosy, let nobody deceive you but we still got love for each other, and make up somehow, with a peace offering.

Just do your best happily without malice. If your husband is not a monster, he will appreciate you and you will both live happily ever after.

And if he upsets you, always remember Joel Osteen, "Let no man steal your Joy"

sonofananimal:
you are right! And this is the truth.


Kind of understand Paul statement "it is better to be single than to marry"

The trouble of even having a girlfriend can be multiply times 2 when married.

But we want to get married not because of love but because the society said you must marry, you are not getting any younger, your mate has already have a child.

So when think of all this stuff, one will desperately want to get married and when he/she have seen that there is no joy in it and regret why he/she married, that's when them THEMSELF will wish that he/she is single at the very first place. But most of them won't tell you the truth and what there are going through.

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!..My house(it's not a home for me) is a living hell,I was born into it and until this moment,nothing has changed..Same goes for all the families I've ever come across..Do not be decieved,marry only when you've learnt taekwando like my mum and boxing like my dad..That is all there is to marriage,nothing more!

Kachisbarbie:
Ahha.
I knew there are people like you that would support me. They never said they don't have problems in their marriages, they only learnt to pull through it.

I was only being sarcastic with my previous post. Don't merry yet

dmcdad:
#Respect.

bellong:
Some of the problems confronting marriages these days are lack of tolerance, insincerity, pride and destructive ego.

Laying a solid foundation right from pre-meeting your spouse to courtship and the marriage proper will go a long way to building a vibrant union.

Alanjeffy:
N I can never rush to support you... Sending out my own opinion... So don't see yaself as a celeb. Am never a ladies man. Relax n don't quote me back pls.. Its dangerous to my health a lady quoting me


I gat no biz with fucking end time ladies...

Kachisbarbie:
lols.
'but you can quote ladies. Hehehehe... I understand how you feel dear...hahahahahhahahahaha.

queenfav:
thanks bro

Mindfulness:
Another reason why it is extremely important to be happy first 'cause if you're really really really happy, what people say won't matter to you much or maybe not even at all

mummydirect:
is this your own marriage story they ask you to share? smmmmmhhhh

Lordnewton1:
yimuing at you

Joel3:
how about living togather as boyfriend and girlfriend and then grow old and die? will a life not be completer or fulfilled? is it a must to tied the nut? you see when the registrar is been signed and the whole thing becomes legal biding in both religious or traditional acceptances of marriage in mate I think that is when a lot of things goes wrong.

don't give me the bullshiit that its for better for worst. many innocent victim are been blind folded into signing this shitt. and they will tell him or her to remain in it forever. I am an advocate for this shit to be destroyed. I know in 22nd century this thing called marriage institution will be destroyed
. many d I single hide their true self and wait patiently for the scam called marriage to be signed first. definitely not me except ofcource I have my own interests 200% otherwise no deal

cc: lalasticlala, seun. Sorry to ask this o, did you parent marry? Becos this is how children from broken home think. Yeah marriage is not by force but it is ordained by God.

ivyT:
Aww.this is so lovely

i tap into ur marriage success.Amen

sonofananimal:
yeap!

But at certain stage in life, one must SURLY feel that impact!

Your church, when renting an apartment, even the environment self.

Pidggin:
Marriage is too complicated to make anyone constantly happy. Only you can make yourself happy constantly, it is a decision.

sonofananimal:
sister! This is just the starting,

Just let it reach 10 years and that love will fly like a bird.

And this time, commitment, perseverance and tolerance will take place, that's when you will feel the full taste of marriage, but many people fail this stage!

I mean it!

Freiden:
All I read here is, I av bn married for 5yrs/less. Abeg make una talk about marriage when your marriages are 12yrs/older. The 1st 5yrs of married na bed of roses...after 10yrs, the problems that love had bn quenching grows stronger.... By then na God go matter pass, love won't b enough.