Since i have nothing to contribute,let me share the song am most feeling......


Drake ft The Dream Shut It Down

In this song the love is real

Toks2008:


lol! first let me put you write..criterion is a singular form of criteria and not criterions

And talking about having so many criteria for my lady i guess you are wrong...all i want is very simple

1.Sexual decency
3.Kitchen excellence
3.Pleasing to my eyes
4.And at least let her pretend to be GOD fearing

Thats not much innit?

And Yes i am single by choice os apparently if i want to marry next week its no brainer as we have many ladies presently on teh mountain as i write praying and fasting for a hubby..but marriage no be wettin dem dey rush into.

its better to be a single man or woman at 35 rather than to be a divorcée at 25

oh mr toks, tanks for the kworecshun, in bubu's voice

Vikky014:
As an emotionally weak girl i just decided on my own with the help of my sweet mum not indulge in this Love thingy in my teens to avoid hrt attack and it really helped me a lot to understand now that love btw a girl and a boy is jst for the moment using my female friends as a case study.
.LOL am always the one to console them whn the hrtbreak thing happens atleast one of them learnt her lessons.....

It is always good to be friends on platonic level with the opposite sex whn u r nt yet ready to tie the knot. if u r nt too emotional like me u can go ahead and be in the romantic relationship bt whn the chips are down just pick ur pieces and move on

in summary i dnt believe in Today's I LOVE YOU FROM MOST GUYS. most of them want something from we ladies...just maintain ur lane let me maintain mine after all we can be friends not LOVERS... but in marriage i think couples grow in LOVE. MY MUM AND DAD Confirms it...

Sorry babes just because ur afraid of hrtbreak shouldn't stop you from being in a relationship...it happens to everyone..the earlier you get used to it, the better. You dont conquer by fear or avoiding.

Babes keep scaring me off with that line...CRINGEWORTHY!

The idea of love is relative. The common conception is someone that makes your heart pound, gives you butterflies blah blah blah. I differ. For me loving someone are the actions you take to be with the person till the end NOT the temporary excitement you feel in the early periods of the relationship. So saying "I love you" is reassuring your partner you'll NEVER LEAVE. If everyone sees love this way, some will realise the really don't love their partner.

Mostly women are a victim of this ignorance and they jump from one guy to the other believing the initial lust or aching desire (aka ''falling in love'') is the TRUE LOVE. It's usually like this:

- Babe meets guy
- They have serious chemistry
- They spend time together
- Babe "falls in love" and they become serious
- A year later, babe realises there's no more spark like before
- Babe takes the frustration on the poor guy
- Babe is introduced to new guy at a friend's party
- They have serious chemistry
- Babe breaks up with the old guy
- Babe spends time with new guy
- Babe "falls in love" again...

The pattern continues till she has had 10 bfs. This is VERY come with extroverted females. That's why I find them appealing for flings than serious relationship. The chill babes are usually the keepers.

fulfillbill:


Sorry babes just because ur afraid of hrtbreak shouldn't stop you from being in a relationship...it happens to everyone..the earlier you get used to it, the better. You dont conquer by fear or avoiding.

i can only relate with my hubby thanks. i dont like the idea of one guy isolating me in the name of boyfriend girlfriend i see it as a waste of time and energy...i conquer by avoiding biko
.
i hv male friends though we r nt lovers

tommychow:
Babes keep scaring me off with that line...CRINGEWORTHY!

The idea of love is relative. The common conception is someone that makes your heart pound, gives you butterflies blah blah blah. I differ. For me loving someone are the actions you take to be with the person till the end NOT the temporary excitement you feel in the early periods of the relationship. So saying "I love you" is reassuring your partner you'll NEVER LEAVE. If everyone sees love this way, some will realise the really don't love their partner.

Mostly women are a victim of this ignorance and they jump from one guy to the other believing the initial lust or aching desire (aka "falling in love" is the TRUE LOVE. It's usually like this:

- Babe meets guy
- They have serious chemistry
- They spend time together
- Babe "falls in love" and they become serious
- A year later, babe realises there's no more spark like before
- Babe takes the frustration on the poor guy
- Babe is introduced to new guy at a friend's party
- They have serious chemistry
- Babe breaks up with the old guy
- Babe spends time with new guy
- Babe "falls in love" again...

The pattern continues till she has had 10 bf. This is VERY come with extroverted females. That's why I find them appealing for flings than serious relationship. The chill babes are usually the keepers.

excellent post. Thumbs up

Vikky014:
i can only relate with my hubby thanks. i dont like the idea of one guy isolating me in the name of boyfriend girlfriend i see it as a waste of time and energy...i conquer by avoiding biko
.
i hv male friends though we r nt lovers

Let me play the devils advocate and ask 'so your hubby can't break your heart'?

Vikky014:
excellent post. Thumbs up

And you think marriage doesn't loose spark too?

Relationship before marriage prepares you for the real thing...like extra-mural classes prepare you for JAMB.

fulfillbill:


Let me play the devils advocate and ask 'so your hubby can't break your heart'?

of course he can. bt then he is my hubby i will hv to heal since am already hooked with him. u cant compare marriage with boyfriend girlfriend relationship

Vikky014:
ofcourse he can. bt then he is my hubby i will hv to heal since am already hooked with him. u cant compare marriage with boyfriend girlfriend relationship

You see marriage as a hook, so you end up suffering and smiling abi?

Or you will divorce him?

Vikky014:
excellent post. Thumbs up

Pleasure!

fulfillbill:

You see marriage as a hook, so you end up suffering and smiling abi?
Or you will divorce him?

i see marriage as a hook as a lady if am married am hooked


so hrt break means suffering and smilingif yes why r u advising me to strt a relationship then since hrt break means suffering and smiling

tommychow:
Babes keep scaring me off with that line...CRINGEWORTHY!

The idea of love is relative. The common conception is someone that makes your heart pound, gives you butterflies blah blah blah. I differ. For me loving someone are the actions you take to be with the person till the end NOT the temporary excitement you feel in the early periods of the relationship. So saying "I love you" is reassuring your partner you'll NEVER LEAVE. If everyone sees love this way, some will realise the really don't love their partner.

Mostly women are a victim of this ignorance and they jump from one guy to the other believing the initial lust or aching desire (aka "falling in love" is the TRUE LOVE. It's usually like this:

- Babe meets guy
- They have serious chemistry
- They spend time together
- Babe "falls in love" and they become serious
- A year later, babe realises there's no more spark like before
- Babe takes the frustration on the poor guy
- Babe is introduced to new guy at a friend's party
- They have serious chemistry
- Babe breaks up with the old guy
- Babe spends time with new guy
- Babe "falls in love" again...

The pattern continues till she has had 10 bf. This is VERY come with extroverted females. That's why I find them appealing for flings than serious relationship. The chill babes are usually the keepers.

Brilliant.

The only twist is that most times,the witty like ladies now decide to chill and trust me..when they chill they really chill...

Its like a lady divorcee who has learned to tolerate more shits than what she could not take in her previous marriage.

Experience is definitely the best teacher.

Vikky014:
i see marriage as a hook as a lady if am married am hooked


so hrt break means suffering and smilingif yes why r u advising me to strt a relationship then since hrt break means suffering and smiling

You are definitely going to make an excellent wife.

The only condition i subscribe to when it comes to divorcing your hubby is physical assault and not even emotional cos no baga can make you unhappy except you.

Vikky014:
i see marriage as a hook as a lady if am married am hooked


so hrt break means suffering and smilingif yes why r u advising me to strt a relationship then since hrt break means suffering and smiling

What i implied in my last was post was that you can't be sure you are ready for the maths test, unless you have a done a lot of exercises.

You running from heartbreak will make you even more heartbroken because you probably won't be able to handle it when it happens.

Its like learning to ride a bike without falling.

Relationship helps you discover somethings about yourself that you didn't know, and nobody will tell you...you only will discover it.

Toks2008:


You are definitely going to make an excellent wife.

The only condition i subscribe to when it comes to divorcing your hubby is physical assault and not even emotional cos no baga can make you unhappy except you.

Thanks


yes u r right about happiness. @physical assault. i pray i dont meet such man cos i will just call police or army for him to give him the beating of his life any day he tries it.bfore thinking of the next action...LOL . God4bid though., i dnt think my future hubby will b a wife beater not when i cant hurt a fly

fulfillbill:


What i implied in my last was post was that you can't be sure you are ready for the maths test, unless you have a done a lot of exercises.

You running from heartbreak will make you even more heartbroken because you probably won't be able to handle it when it happens.

Its like learning to ride a bike without falling.

Relationship helps you discover somethings about yourself that you didn't know, and nobody will tell you...you only will discover it.

more like tasting child birth before getting married right i shld get pregnant first to see how child birth will look like bfore i finally marry bros i no gree ooo. i love my life like this


wht is even so special about this girlfriend boyfriend thing self if not two people experimenting what married people do or am i missing something

Vikky014:
Thanks


yes u r right about happiness. @physical assault. i pray i dont meet such man cos i will just call police or army for him to give him the beating of his life any day he tries it.bfore thinking of the next action...LOL . God4bid though., i dnt think my future hubby will b a wife beater not when i cant hurt a fly

How i wish i can even see ur pics uploaded cos im getting so curious about the face behind these no hold barr coments..lol

Too much sense in the write up. Makes a lotta sense. I've always affirmed that there's no such thing as true love in amorous relationship. It's just a temporal feeling which exist for as long as the other person dances to our rhythm. The earlier everyone realises this and flow with the tides like you said the better.

For everyone we claim to love wholeheartedly there's a reason behind it and once that reason evanesces then the love too dissipates like vapour. If true love existed there won't be any particular reason to love or get attracted to someone, it will just burgeon without a reason and maturate in form of a latency. There's no such thing as true love, it's all about vested interest.

Vikky014:
more like tasting child birth before getting married right i shld get pregnant first to see how child birth will look like bfore i finally marry bros i no gree ooo. i love my life like this


wht is even so special about this girlfriend boyfriend thing self if not two people experimenting what married people do or am i missing something

Norrin special jare except as you wrote..premarriage activities in the name of courtship..lol

Vikky014:
more like tasting child birth before getting married right i shld get pregnant first to see how child birth will look like bfore i finally marry bros i no gree ooo. i love my life like this


wht is even so special about this girlfriend boyfriend thing self if not two people experimenting what married people do or am i missing something

Ok i get the premise inwhich your belief is built Religion abi?

Nobody said you should have sex...your heart was meant to love, treat someone special, accomodate someone.

Trust me when you go out you'll find out that the era of our parents and now are quite different, and since you are not going to marry someone from your parents era, why not get acquianted with the present era?

ronald4lif:
Too much sense in the write up. Makes a lotta sense. I've always affirmed that there's no such thing as true love in amorous relationship. It's just a temporal feeling which exist for as long as the other person dance to our rhythm. The earlier everyone realises this and flow with the tides like you said the better.

For everyone we claim to love wholeheartedly there's a reason behind it and once that reason evanesces then the love too dissipates like vapour. If true love existed there won't be any particular reason to love or get attracted to someone, it will just burgeon without a reason and maturate in form of a latency. There's no such thing as true love, it's all about vested interest.

Thats all.

Toks2008:
Over the years i have realized that LOVE is the most wrongly used word in the dictionary.

Do you know that when your bae says "I LOVE YOU",more often than not,that person is only stating his her feelings based on what he or she is benefiting from the union at that point in time?Take away the benefit(s) and see if such person will still profess an undying love for you.

I have seen many people who professed love to each other suddenly make a 360 degree turn and then i tend to wonder if they ever understood that word love.

I have heard of a situation where a man or woman found it so easy to walk away from the spouse and children after many years just to conclude that what they felt all through the years was probably pity and not love.

It has become the norm for us to now see a million dollar wedding crashing down even before it began and then these same people who were all smiles and curdled up on the wedding day, exchanging vows will turn against each other with so much hatred.

Husbands kill same woman they made a vow to love and wives do same to their hubbies even when they have borne the same man children.

How many husbands can still tell their wives "i love you" even if she denies him sex? how many husbands will still love their wives if she refuses to do her duties as a wife in the house? and how many women will still love their husbands even if he fails to live up to his status?

Judging from all these happenings i have decided to stop using that word love and any one who uses such word to describe his or her feelings for the partner must really take a chill pill and think deep before uttering such.

If from the real life situation i see, i think it will be reasonable for anyone to wait for at least 20years of being with your partner before you can truly say those words "I LOVE YOU" even if we all know that even after 30years people can still turn against each other but at least 20years is good enough to pass that assertion.

I have come to believe that LOVE can only exist between GOD and man and what humans feel is just a temporary feeling of desire which can be in form of initial gragra(Adrenaline love), infatuation(Unreasoning love),Lust or maybe a superficial love as a result of what you are getting from that person and in the absence of such will diminish.

Yes maybe i am over-flogging it,maybe we still have true love between very rare partners but the truth is that i would rather seek for a true friendship, a true bonding which i have found to be more realistic than that facade called True love.

My advice is that anyone in any affair should not put too much expectation but should just flow with the tide because that person who is all over you today can make a u-turn tomorrow and you will wonder if that is the same person you ever knew...

I hope this makes sense.

it make sense die.. that's why this gf and bf rltship isn't my thing. love shouldn't be use anyhow its sacred

fulfillbill:


Ok i get the premise inwhich your belief is built Religion abi?

Nobody said you should have sex...your heart was meant to love, treat someone special, accomodate someone.

Trust me when you go out you'll find out that the era of our parents and now are quite different, and since you are not going to marry someone from your parents era, why not get acquianted with the present era?

you dont know vikky. am nt bragging bt am dt type of girl evrybody wants as a friend both male and female bc of one reason or the other. so tell me when i isolate myself by hanging out with one guy in the name of relationship which might not lead to marriage wont i be scaring other good male friends away just to b faithfulafter which we might break up and i strt a new one. the cycle continues till i hv like 12 ex bf is it nt better to be just nice to any gender by so doing one builds his or her social strata

anyway i prefer a male friend to a boyfriend and yes i will marry one of my numerous male friends

my parents era kemy mum and dad are quite young so they know whats up

finally i threat anybody as a special person both small kids thanks

Toks2008:


How i wish i can even see ur pics uploaded cos im getting so curious about the face behind these no hold barr coments..lol

LOL. *whispers to his ear, i once uploaded my pics and my uncle called me one day to ask if am a nairalander dt he checked a female's comment and saw a lady dt looked like me. i quickly removed my pics and told him i was not bt asked him his moniker later he refused to tell me. am hiding biko.

Toks2008:


Norrin special jare except as you wrote..premarriage activities in the name of courtship..lol

LOL

Vikky014:
you dont know vikky. am nt bragging bt am dt type of girl evrybody wants as a friend both male and female bc of one reason or the other. so tell me when i isolate myself by hanging out with one guy in the name of relationship which might not lead to marriage wont i be scaring other good male friends away just to b faithfulafter which we might break up and i strt a new one. the cycle continues till i hv like 12 ex bf is it nt better to be just nice to any gender by so doing one builds his or her social strata

anyway i prefer a male friend to a boyfriend and yes i will marry one of my numerous male friends

my parents era kemy mum and dad are quite young so they know whats up

finally i threat anybody as a special person both small kids thanks

?

You are giving me hope that we still have intelligent ladies on nairaland.

Vikky014:
LOL. *whispers to his ear, i once uploaded my pics and my uncle called me one day to ask if am a nairalander dt he checked a female's comment and saw a lady dt looked like me. i quickly removed my pics and told him i was not bt asked him his moniker later he refused to tell me. am hiding biko.

Taaaarh..na lie.

Toks2008:


And my answer is very crystal clear dude;Real Love exists only between man and GOD but what we have between 99.99 humans are flimsy conditional temporary feeling of affection mistaken as love....QUOTE ME IN HEAVEN.

You are very wrong Mr Toks and I fault your line of thought considering the fact that you decided to go religious on the subject matter.

The statement in bold is far from the truth and as a matter of fact, nothing but mere conjecture.

Lets take a close look at the verse below.

1 John 4:20 (English Standard Version)

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen CANNOT love God whom he has not seen

You clearly asserted that love only exists between Man and God, yet this scripture says differently. The scripture lets us know it is much easier to love someone who you can see than to claim to love a God you haven't.

In other words the criterium for professing your love for God would be to love your brother (Sister, Relative, Spouse, Stranger, etc).

There is also a scripture regarded as the great commandment.

Mark 12:31 (English Standard Version)
The second is this: ‘ You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these

This was a statement made by Jesus and if it were impossible to truly love someone then it would mean that he gave a commandment no one could/can keep. But you know better.

The fact that people use the word "Love" and the next minute do something so silly that makes us question thier love doesn't mean love is a farce.

David was a man who loved God so much that God referred to him as a man after his own heart.
Yet David killed a man and took his wife, thereby commiting adultery and he did other despicable acts but God never questioned the Man's love towards him.

You have to understand one simple thing, you don't need to spend 30years with someone to say the words "I love you". Love is a force that can be felt, it supercedes our emotions and it is the greatest power given to man.

We are still encased in our earthly vessel so there are times our actions might not be in consonance with love but it doesn't change the fact that love is real, love exists and we have the ability to love unconditionally.

[quote author=Vikky014 post=41859654] you dont know vikky. am nt bragging bt am dt type of girl evrybody wants as a friend both male and female bc of one reason or the other. so tell me when i isolate myself by hanging out with one guy in the name of relationship which might not lead to marriage wont i be scaring other good male friends away just to b faithfulafter which we might break up and i strt a new one. the cycle continues till i hv like 12 ex bf is it nt better to be just nice to any gender by so doing one builds his or her social strata

anyway i prefer a male friend to a boyfriend and yes i will marry one of my numerous male friends

my parents era kemy mum and dad are quite young so they know whats up

finally i threat anybody as a special person both small kids thanks


Don get me wrong but a girl holding your view wouldn't have alot of friends because it's uncommon...
Are you trying to say that all your friends are single?

Don't you sometimes wish you had a guy of your own?

In all fairness after waiting for Mr Right, and he comes along and says he's had 12 gfs would marry/date him?

kinglekan:




You are very wrong Mr Toks and I fault your line of thought considering the fact that you decided to go religious on the subject matter.

The statement in bold is far from the truth and as a matter of fact, nothing but mere conjecture.

Lets take a close look at the verse below.

1 John 4:20 (English Standard Version)

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen CANNOT love God whom he has not seen

You clearly asserted that love only exists between Man and God, yet this scripture says differently. The scripture lets us know it is much easier to love someone who you can see than to claim to love a God you haven't.

In other words the criterium for professing your love for God would be to love your brother (Sister, Relative, Spouse, Stranger, etc).

There is also a scripture regarded as the great commandment.

Mark 12:31 (English Standard Version)
The second is this: ‘ You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these

This was a statement made by Jesus and if it were impossible to truly love someone then it would mean that he gave a commandment no one could/can keep. But you know better.

The fact that people use the word "Love" and the next minute do something so silly that makes us question thier love doesn't mean love is a farce.

David was a man who loved God so much that God referred to him as a man after his own heart.
Yet David killed a man and took his wife, thereby commiting adultery and he did other despicable acts but God never questioned the Man's love towards him.

You have to understand one simple thing, you don't need to spend 30years with someone to say the words "I love you". Love is a force that can be felt, it supercedes our emotions and it is the greatest power given to man.

We are still encased in our earthly vessel so there are times our actions might not be in consonance with love but it doesn't change the fact that love is real, love exists and we have the ability to love unconditionally.

Thank you my brother...trying to sell conventional gospel to people because you had 1 or two set backs in your relationship is unfair, especially to the younger ones. You do not lose when you love...what ever you give out comes right back to you..

Sow positive energy you reap positive energy===Spiritual truth.

Biko love is love.. don't dabaru my mind with your own opinion