₦airaland Forum

schumastic:
OP YOUR SO DAMM RIGHT...I DON'T BELIEVE AND THE ONLY LOVE THAT TRUELY EXIST IS THAT OF GOD FOR MAN...I PREFER MY PARTNER BUILD A STRONG BOND,FRIENDSHIP AND UNDERSTANDING....O AND BEFORE I FORGET I DONT BELIEVE IN TRUST AS WELL, EXCEPT YOU TRUST AT YOUR OWN PERIL.

COOLCATS:
your inference in the earlier post does not make your conclusion valid. That's my point. Understand ! what am trying to tell you is being a fiancee, a husband is not a guarantee that you won't/can be heart broken or torn into pieces.

Oahray:
aunty abeg no vex, e don do. Marry all your male friends if you like, so you can treat them equally.

Just stop trying to define every romantic relationship out there when you've never been in one. It's ignorance-birthed arrogance.

COOLCATS:
There are relationships without sex even amongst teenagers. Where both parties see each other as special not as mere friends. You have not even the right male friends. I don't have to flirt with you as a boyfriend or girlfriend. If we share the same view we can date even before I agree to marry you. You are just scared about sex and unwanted pregnancy. It's your opinion tho but stop making a general assumption.

Oliviaarims:
He brought up Toke Makinwa as if he was trying to make a point that Toke who seemed to be crazy in love has been forced to realize that love doesn't exist.

ronald4lif:
Lol. I should have added 'unrelated people love' sha.

But do you agree love it's about personal interest? If yes, what does that make it, a selfish or selfless act? And if no, do you think love can exist/survives without individual's interest being met? It would be nice if you can address this but not a must.

Toks2008:
How else can i change the way some people reason?

What is this about people being so myopic to jusxtapose what people write with their life?

Honestly it is an unintelligent way of reasoning.

Do you need to be told that love is a facade?or are you living in jupiter to claim ignorance of the daily happenings?

How many wives were killed last year by their husbands? please wake up from this perpetual delusion of always relating intellectual stuffs to the creator.

You can as well attribute every film writer life to the type of films they write...

Oahray:
for me, it's complicated. I cannot give a yes or a no without feeling it's the wrong answer.

Before I say what I think, do you mean romantic love?

ronald4lif:
Yes, romantic love or amorous love from unrelated people.

Oahray:
on it's own, mostly selfish at the beginning, for every such love. This, I must say, is the most selfish form of love there is. It's borne out of our need to have a companion that suits us. We think a person fits the bill, so we adore him/her.

However, for some persons (the minority I must admit), it eventually upgrades into something deeper. At this point it is no longer just affection for someone because she fits the the list of what they want. They start to see things they didn't really care about but are beautiful anyway. They start to respond to the spouse's affection for them, same way a child responds to a mother. Altruism gets into the mix. It's no longer the selfish longing it started out as.

Now this is the reason some persons can overlook flaws they later notice, while others break up or rush off to dissolve their marriages. It's not exactly one stroke for all folks.

Mekyno:
i don finally cash (catch) u......uncle ofcos.
I luv ur mentality. U dey tink lyk a man.

Toks2008:
It is a second name for trash

Vikky014:
lol.i know u r not. if u were i shld hv been answering ur call by now.thanks 4 that

4C2215131:
For your sake, prospective wife's sake, children's sake, in-laws' sake, society's sake and God sake please stay single. Don't even have baby mamas as all they'll get is drama whether they deserve it or not.

Such contradiction in terms. Strong bond without trust, Strong friendship without trust?

I give up!

cococandy:
This dude sha. Why are you always full of crap? And you say it with so much authority too.

So you need 20yrs before you decide if you love someone. Like you can't love and lose the love within a fraction of that time.
Does it need to last forever before it can be defined as love?

IzonOwei:
..A best freind is not just one you share fears and doubts with..I hope you know that.....I hope you would discuss how you do have sex with your husband eventually when you get married...except you would be having two best freinds..that sounds funny sha...

My point is..It is a bit selfish on your part to say your mum is your best freind(all mums are best freinds by default to their kids) while the freinds who view you as their best freind are just normal freinds to you and not special. ..aren't you self centered...please discard those freinds who view you as special amongst their other freinds...you don't deserve them..

schumastic:
says who i can share a strong bond with you, be your best friend and choose not to trust you cus your human and we humans can make mistake. what if i end up trusting you and you prove me wrong what will you say? or how do you you expect me to feel?

Vikky014:
lol.i know u r not. if u were i shld hv been answering ur call by now.thanks 4 that

Mekyno:
baby, relax.......u hv made u point so stop trying to buttress ur ponit to pple dat hv chose nt to understand u. Every one has his/her own philosophy of life.

Toks2008:
Nobody can break a heart that cant be broken...only those who believe love between humans exists risk their hearts to be charttered.

I have always reiterated that 99.9% of my threads are for matured minds.

Any boy or girl below 23 may find it hard to grasp the deep messages but will realize latter in life how factual i am.

I repeat...forget love,just do the needful,get married,raise a family and make the best of your life.

If you are the type who believes one guy or lady loves u then your second name is sorry.

Go with the flow and be good to your bae but always be ready for an unpleasant action from that same person.

Dorget all these face value love and dedicate your love to GOD alone while playing along with your partner by respecting and caring for that person.

Only the dreamers believe in human love..be my friend,the mother of my children,a wife and my companion and im ok but dont ever bother fooling yourself beyond that...what we have as humans is contractual love.

This is not about a personal experience but the truth is everywhere for us to see and only those who choose to be blind wont see it.

Take away the benefits and see if that person will still feel same way.

This is not about those words..i love you...but it is the motive for saying the words.

Apparently we cant stop using those words as it remains the only way to reaffirm out present feelings for our bae.

Pls dont het it twisted,very few humans still love a fellow human unconditionally but that minute few is so negligible that one can confidently say LOVE BETWEEN HUMANS IS A FACADE...a chase after the wind...

Signing out.

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4C2215131:
But everything you said is premised on trust and not the other way round. Without it the qualities you described is worthless. It is trust that builds the bond, understanding and friendship.

Oahray:
lol. The chemistry of love. These chemists sef. Thoughts na chemical reaction too?

4C2215131:
A very unfair case in point if you asked me.

judedwriter:
Yeah, true love exists-but its now so rare. All guys want now is intimacy and girls is money. Got friendly with a charming girl recently and her body language to me was that I wanted something physical with her. That's what on nearly all girls mind now that any guy that befriends them wants them in bed-quite sad its hard to find true love nowadays, lust has drowned love and its crying for help. With what our ladies wear nowadays, you will know that many of them are used to satisfying men's love-sorry lust for them.

ronald4lif:
There are cases where people fall in love with more than a person, albeit in disproportionate scale. However, as mammalia animals that has evolved to humans we have developed an intrinsic ability not to allow whatever we feel for another person (apart from our lover) blossom. If someone in love with one person can feel lust/crush for another then they can love more than a person if their emotion is left unbridled and unregulated. Not acting on a feeling to love more than a person doesn't make it impractical. Love is an emotion and like every other emotion if "acted" upon can be fixed on multiple objects.

By the embolden I meant love only exist for as long as our partner behaves in a certain way, a manner they have been conditioned to by their other half. To put it in perspective, if I'm to call my girlfriend maybe usually every morning and nights, weekends we're out on a date or watch movies. In some cases, I'm to offset some of her personal bills, which could be hairdo or whatever, then that love will only subsist for as long as I continue to do those stuff. Once I desist the love dwindles.

By the narration above, it means love exist only when we revel in certain actions that we have been conditioned to. If we're to say love exist that's fine by me, it does really. But it's conditional and no such thing as unconditional love.

Then again, if we can agree to love being conditional then it's safe to also admit that it's a feeling of vested interest. Knowing humans and our innate greedy tendency as selfish animals our emotion would only traject us on the path of love where we stand to benefits from something. If love can't maturate and mellow unconditionally and without any attached clause then it can't be real. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Oahray:
Alright. Sorry if I sounded condescending at any point. I'm just worried by how naive you sound.

I hope marriage and related matters turn out the straightforward way you've imagined it.

4C2215131:
There's gotta be a spark before the fire. You might do well to remember that.

RuuDie:
You go soon learn, no worry!