₦airaland Forum

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

Estharfabian:

Not Only is Her mentality Archaic, It's Outrightly Irrational, Pathetic and dumb.

LoL!

So! The Only thing she'd bring to the table is her Pûssy? Baby Making machine?
I wouldn't Call her A Wife. I'd call her A Parasitic Being.
Coz Last time I checked, the holy book stated as thus:

"God assigned the married woman the responsibility of being a helpmate to her husband ( Genesis 2:18 , 20)." Not just some fûck mate, baggage or a baby producing machine.


...Trust me, You don't want such woman in your house!
Coz money for maggi, salt, tissue paper, pad, matchboxes would be on You.

Well, except she changes that fûcked up mentality she's got.

netizenbuzz:
Shut up! You think giving birth is easy? A year ago, I would have said he shouldn't marry her but with the kind of lazy ass men we have these days, I will say the op deserves this. Women already bring so much to the table in marriage and the one thing we ask of you, you are complaining again. We give up our names, we give up the children we carried for 9 months to bare your names, we give up our dreams, we give up even our churches, we give up everything already. What more do you want? Until you run us dry abi? Abeg shift!

Bîtch shove your opinions right up Your cûnt!



I'm A grown Ass lady!
And I know when something's wrong.
You can't just sit back and Contribute absolutely NOTHING to a relationship! A guy would feed You, buy You clothes, give you a roof over your ungrateful ass self, Provide your meals, do mostly everything for your ungrateful ass!


And you want him to still respect You? what is your worth? where's your pride? You're no less than a parasitic baggage! The joke's on You sweety!

robosky02:
gbam thats it

with this your talk ehhh

i recommend YOU to any sensible man that wants to run faster in life
cos you can give him wings to fly

mzvyne:
I once asked if husbands should help the wife with her responsibilities around the house, the reply I got was.. I shouldnta expect him to, but should be grateful if he does..

I'm giving OP the same response.. You shouldn't expect her to help with your financial responsibilities, but if she does, be grateful.

AbarisFather:
A Guy who was jobless got married 2 a banker,despite his fears and several advices that it's not good to marry without a job. Every month the girl would give the guy her full salary of N135k after removing her tithe. The guy would give the wife N20k 4 personal upkeep
and the guy determined what happened to the remaining money. This happened for 3 Good years. There was happiness in d family and d wife never refused to do her primary home duties for that 3 years,
despite wrong advice from friends that 'you can't be paying the bills and still be doing all the wok'.There was a particular month d guy used about N70,000 2travel frm state to state for different interviews. He finally got a job with a good firm in
Port-Harcourt. His salary was N800,000
monthly 4 a start. He bought his first car (a brand new) for N4.5m, he gave d wife the car key,& continued to take public transport to work for about 2yrs.
Then he bought the 2nd car for N6million, took d key of d first car & gave his wife the keys of the 2nd car. They eventually moved into their own house after few yrs.
One day, d wife was looking 4some documents. She stumbled on a file neatly hidden, when she opened it, she saw her wedding picture when she was very slim in d first page of the file. She then saw dat d document 2 the purchase of the land and every other thing in the
house were all written in her name! At d last page was the husband's wedding picture and a note written by him:
''MY WIFE IS ALL I HAVE GOT. NOT EVEN THIS HOUSE WORTH N24M AT THE TIME I BUILT IS MINE''. Tears started to roll down her eyes. This couple got married in
2008.
True LOVE still exists till this day. Are you sure the Love you have for ur partner can be compared to this one you just read?
No matter what, remember u chose each other. It doesn't matter who puts food on d table or who pays d bills. Always know that, NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT.

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

lezz:
A man's first and primary responsibility is to provide for his family. This is instinctively ingrained in every man!

A woman's natural disposition is to nurture and groom the home.

I see no qualms preparing bread toast and tea for my wife when she's a little I'll or having a lazy morning in bed. Or when she's having pregnancy associated weakness. And on weekends, I'll love her to watch me cook a tomato sauce.

Similarly, it'll be a small relief if she does a little domestic expensive that skipped my mind like power bills or paying for a fixed electronics or the like.

There's no absolutism in spousal responsibilities.

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

deyemia:
She is not joking o! I still wish it was an expensive joke sef

mzvyne:
I understand you.... And totally agree with you.
The
problem I have is that most guys want to marry a super woman who supports them in every possible aspect (financially, spiritually and otherwise), that they won't support in doing her own responsibilities.

lezz:
It is a worrying trend nowadays!!!

The 21st century male has been effeminately indoctrinated.

Have you not noticed the increasing number of men who ponder more on their looks, clothes, cosmetics and personal ornamentation than they worry about skill acquisition or developing a sound world-viewworld-view or providing responsible leadershipleadership ?


The economic success of women has cast a shadow of blurred reality and expectation for many men.

netizenbuzz:
Shut up! You think giving birth is easy? A year ago, I would have said he shouldn't marry her but with the kind of lazy ass men we have these days, I will say the op deserves this. Women already bring so much to the table in marriage and the one thing we ask of you, you are complaining again. We give up our names, we give up the children we carried for 9 months to bare your names, we give up our dreams, we give up even our churches, we give up everything already. What more do you want? Until you run us dry abi? Abeg shift!

Koinzino:
it would be irrational for u to dump her tho.. but if u cannot change her mind set, this is wat u Will do... invite her to yr place, make her feel loved, bang the hell out of her, dump her sorry ass and go ahead with her friend... that girl no get sense

obowunmi:
Lazy men like the OP.

Instead of worrying about being sself-sufficient he's fighting over a woman's money.

lezz:
The OP's case is slightly complicated.

First it's a relationship match-made. Who does that these days?

So there's no love hovering around them. If the OP's fiancée loved him, she wouldn't mind helping out financially if the need arose.

Evidently the finacee is having doubts if OP isn't marrying her for her wealth. Most wealthy women are wont to suspecting men's motives in relationships especially if they be below average in looks.

My opinion is if the wife works, she should share the financial burden at most 20% WITHOUT THE HUSBSAD DEMANDING.

After all, a working wife will sacrifice some amount of home care for office hours.

obowunmi:
OP should find someone in his class, no need for epistles.

I know a woman who married a jobless man at age 38. She did it for the Nigerian society, just to say she's married.

She's the most bitter woman I know. The man can't even buy boxers and singlet for himself.

The role of a woman is not to be a man's nanny or parent. He must be able to take care of himself, with or without a woman. That's a real man.

This jobless man sees his wife as a meal ticket and not a wife. He stays home from morning to night watching football. Then he goes to church when he's bored. When the woman comes back from work, no to cook and clean. She's so frustrated. It's like she's taking care of a baby and calling him husband.

Lazy MEN.

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

deyemia:
I'm resisting the urge to call you a slowpoke . I'm reading all comments on this post so as to make informed decision and you are just seeing colour white as red...

keep commenting though, you might learn at some point

LaurelP:
Girls like her don't change, believe me. That belief has been ingrained in her probably by her mother or a very close friend, so you'd be wasting ur time.

She is the type that would not like to see u help ur relatives, just focus on only her and the children.

obowunmi:
That people here, mostly men, want your potential suitor to pay your bills.

Man up and pay your own bills. Don't let any one deceive you.