31. I was just reflecting and crying at the same time and my friend was calming me down.. I paused and looked at my friend dead in the eyes with my teary eyes and was like " Guy u no wetin pain me pass?" He said No.. and I was like " I dey suck tootoo when that thing happened" and my friend was like..

andysnoopy:
31. I was just reflecting and crying at the same time and my friend was calming me down.. I paused and looked at my friend dead in the eyes with my teary eyes and was like " Guy u no wetin pain me pass?" He said No.. and I was like " I dey suck tootoo when that thing happened" and my friend was like..

Lol

andysnoopy:
31. I was just reflecting and crying at the same time and my friend was calming me down.. I paused and looked at my friend dead in the eyes with my teary eyes and was like " Guy u no wetin pain me pass?" He said No.. and I was like " I dey suck tootoo when that thing happened" and my friend was like..

Hahahaha

32. He started telling me that I should have known the girl is married, that I wasn't careful enough, what if they killed me and I was looking at him like how would I have known she's married when I was with him when I met her, at her gate she told me her parents were out.. I had alot of things to say and I was getting pissed at my friend for judging me already but I just decided to do this....

andysnoopy:
32. He started telling me that I should have known the girl is married, that I wasn't careful enough, what if they killed me and I was looking at him like how would I have known she's married when I was with him when I met her, at her gate she told me her parents were out.. I had alot of things to say and I was getting pissed at my friend for judging me already but I just decided to do this....

Dead!

33. I decided to excuse myself. I sat down one corner and thoughts was just going through my head " But why me? The tootoo self I no chop.. na only suck I suck.. but guy na wa for you oh !! Why u wear woman cloth self.. na that woman clothe wey u wear na en give that man mind to blow u finish then take supplex finish am, anyway na army man sha.. supplex na small thing where them dey... but guy u lazy ohhhh.. woman pant or not, army or not, that supplex is too much na.. why u gree?.. But who b those idiots wey dey beat me like say I thief . .na their wife I Bleep?? Which kain Bleep self.. only suck.. guy wetin u gain from suckling that big tootoo self.. U see ur life?".. Thoughts was jusjust going on in my head...

AAbeg guys update later.. my phone ba3 is low

andysnoopy:
32. He started telling me that I should have known the girl is married, that I wasn't careful enough, what if they killed me and I was looking at him like how would I have known she's married when I was with him when I met her, at her gate she told me her parents were out.. I had alot of things to say and I was getting pissed at my friend for judging me already but I just decided to do this....

dude u make me spill my drink... The kind thunder when go fire ur augu (long head) still dey for army barracks dey receive training .

Very funny

This is the funniest most creative thread I've seen on NL in a while....lol

Andy funny die, make sure u finish diz tori tonight or.....

plz mr op i want to b ur frend so dat u ll always crak som weekend jokes laga dis for mee abeg'''

andysnoopy:
32. He started telling me that I should have known the girl is married, that I wasn't careful enough, what if they killed me and I was looking at him like how would I have known she's married when I was with him when I met her, at her gate she told me her parents were out.. I had alot of things to say and I was getting pissed at my friend for judging me already but I just decided to do this....

Was beginning to ask why I ain't laughing & everyone else is when this bombshell came rolling.
Kudos to ya!.

Lwkmd

andysnoopy:
30. So I got home and my friend was like " Guy, what really happened?".. and I was like...

30 got me ROTFL

Michellla:
grabs popcorn#

first to follow

andysnoopy u r crazy iswear lol

**glued

Op, Nice one.

U are seriously funny

Op wia is the rest of our weekend shit. Do u realize how early it is for me to awake up to no drop from you

34. After several thoughts I decided to let things slide. I was in my house a week later when my phone rang.. I picked up..

Me: Hello
Him: You think ill let you go after sleeping with my wife on my bed abi??
Me: who is this?
Him: God punish you!! Watch your back!! I'll deal with you
Me: At this point, I got so mad.. I was like "What is it!! After all you have done to me, you still threatening me.. how would I know she was Married!! Stop threatening me !!
Him: So you are raising your voice at me after sleeping with my wife.. I know your house and very soon, you will hear from me
Me: Bleep it! I can't take it anymore, do your worst.

I banged the phone on him and I was like

35. 6AM the next day, I was still on the bed when I heard a knock, "yes who's that" .. I heard 3 voices at once screaming "open this door or I will break it down".. I was like "who are you!!" "Break it down!!" "Wetin".. The next thing I heard was "kppoahhhh" .. they kicked the door open.. hefty men walked in, one kicked me down, the other slapped me and one held a gun to my neck while I was kneeling and the man was like " So you get mind to shout on me after fucking my wife abi??"
And I was looking at him like..

36. Then he said " No you can't talk abi?? You know what, I won't shoot you but I will give you a mark you will never forget so when you seen any body's wife you will run" He brought out a liquid that's tied in a plastic back and was like " you know what's this? I said "No". Then he said " This is called Acid!! it will teach you never to go near anyone's wife again..."

I've never been so scared in my life.. I started crying, pleading shouting "Oga abeg!! I no know sasay she don marry, she tell me say she dey live with her papa, I no even put prick self na only Tootoo I suck.. abeg forgive me, e no go happen again na devil abeg" like...

37. The next thing I heard was a slap from behind.. it blinded me.. before I could try to get myself... the man emptied the whole liquid on me. I lost control of myself.. became unconscious. . 2 months later,I woke up at the hospital, My friend was beside me, I asked him where I was and he said "hospital", I said "doing what?" And he said "Go look mirror ".. I looked at my hand and didn't believe what I saw, rushed to the mirror, looked at my face and the next thing that came out of my mouth was "but na only suck I suck na"... I was standing there looking at myself like

andysnoopy:
36. Then he said " No you can't talk abi?? You know what, I won't shoot you but I will give you a mark you will never forget so when you seen any body's wife you will run" He brought out a liquid that's tied in a plastic back and was like " you know what's this? I said "No". Then he said " This is called Acid!! it will teach you never to go near anyone's wife again..."

I've never been so scared in my life.. I started crying, pleading shouting "Oga abeg!! I no know sasay she don marry, she tell me say she dey live with her papa, I no even put prick self na only Tootoo I suck.. abeg forgive me, e no go happen again na devil abeg" like...

Rotf, op u are so funny, hilarious

This is creativity at work

37. Thank God for money, surgery n bleaching cream.., I now look like this..

38. Here is me before and after. At least there is a reason to thank God in all these.


And that's my story of how one night stand almost put me for wahala...

This is lovely mate. A reflection of how creative we can be as a race, here is a suggestion would u like to do this and earn with it if yes email me and I'll get across to u and we can talk. Well done.

Nice one