₦airaland Forum

wow! .......this is d most shocking story for me dis year. op pls be careful d kind of advice u take here cos not all d advice will favour ur final decision. From ur story, u don't deserve dis from ur wife. she no try at all. since marriage is forever, Start by making sure all d recordings r well saved where she can't have access to. Be ur normal self & don't tell her anything till u finally decide on wat to do cos she can kill u. Call for a family meeting, play d recordings & seek for a legal divorce immediately, because if u resolve it now u don't know wat will happen in future because her sisters would still be part of her family members, u can't permanently cut them off from ur wife, they may still influence her negatively in years to come.

OP,

You are obviously a good man going by your own side of the story.
However you should understand that every relationship with- parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, children, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband etc- has elements of power play to it. While being good, which is what you seem predisposed to be, you need to be very aware and conscious of how others will play you or at least attempt to play you.
Having said that, please note:

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

The bold part can be taken as an admission of guilt on your part, which I believe was not your intention but rather you wanted to keep the peace and go on to your work place. You should be keenly aware of such power play traps to deal with them as soon as they come up or as soon as you realise.
Meanwhile, as a techie, you should be able to continue your work at home instead of staying late in the office.
Best.

If u r going to stay with your wife play the recordings to your family and also get one of them to tell the police just incase something happens to you and let her k is this. If she is still interested she will stay if she had an agenda perhaps she might leave

Na wa oo see the way people are shouting divorce, the lady sef I don't understand how someone can't sieve through advices.

Some people are not wise at all when the sisters destroy her marriage they will still make jest of her

DevGuru its still solvable abeg make sure her family members and at least your Dad knows.lts painful sha.


I pray the wife sees this thread now that its on FP

Take d phone call the two families and play the discussions and let them know that if anything happens to you she and her family are at fault. Look even if you shit she will pack it with her hands.

phabulous88:
At the bolded, really? How would he have known all these things if he didn't go through her phone? I don't trust you

Its like a thief telling the police: Dont ever catch me!

If you suspect your wife is having an affair and you trace her to the rendevous point, so you can be sure of whats really amiss..... her mother will tell you (the husband): My In-law, wetin now? my daughter avoided you enough now? Why should you follow her all the wat to that far place!


But seriously, my sixth sense tells me that the O'P is one of those men "DESTINED" to die at the hands of woman.
Trust me, he wont take to any of the advice he has been given.
One day, we will read his story: Husband dies mysteriously in his sleep....... wife is crying her eyes out!
After three months, wife re-marries......... to husband's driver!

Such is life ........and the "fatal foolishness" of some men.



Lastpage!

I wish u transfered d voice record to ur phone and evidence incase if she delet her own, call ur family for a serious meeting.
And call her own parent to caution their child(ern).
Your wife lacks sense of been a good wif.

this issue is very serious and it needs not only the family member but a spiritual mind to handle it also. First you have to seek the face of God so that he can intervene in ur marrige because the devil is set for destruction but with God u will make a wave. that aside, i dont think divorce should be an option...make her realize her fault by calling for a meeting and playin that video...if she appoliges sincerely in front of you and your family members, that should be a starting point but i will advice you dont even let her know u know abt the recordings because you dont know what they(she and her sisiters) can do to u. just make the meeting look like a reunion that all family members will gather.Pls act wisely and very fast and make sure u watch her carefully be prayerfully also. thank you.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove

I wish you well.

Mr guru. I feel ur pain but will submit does not worth a pinch of salt. these are my observations and reccomendation
1.you and yourwife are both strangers who come Frm different family background and as such all prejudices will comes up once in a while

2. you brought pains to yourself by listening to ur wife secured private chat. whatever u see is what u brought to urself.

3. regarding the content of ur wife discussion with her sister I will appreciate if you let it go and forgive them. take it as gossip

4. try and work on your family ur nuclear family I mean and made them a formidable one that will be loyal to you. show her more love and never check on her privacy again except u wanna give urself heart attack. drop my pen here.

5.God will strengthen u. for ur health challenges.

Bro run for your life. Make sure you protect yourself both physically and spiritually. They can conspire to kill you too. You married into the worst family in the world.

Op, a delicate child is involved, so pls temper love with whatever u're doing.

Its always about d kids, in most marriages, at d end of d day.

Play it to ur parents, play it to her and rest ur case. Her subsequent reactions/behavior will determine ur way forward. All things pass, this too will pass.

[quote author=MrMcJay post=47247627]OP, keep her in your house very well you hear? Wetin dey worry u sef?
E dey do me like say make I use slap jump-start ur brain.

The day her sisters advise her to kill you, you are a dead man. Rat poison is very cheap, 3 for N50. You'll just start getting dry and die behind the fridge. Alternatively, when she disconnects the brake of your car and you dance under Dangote trailer, we'll read it here on NL.

By the way, tell your wife's sister's husbands o what their wives are up to. At least if you guys want to buy your coffins in bulk, it should be cheaper.

Even if you don't value your life, pity your mother and daughter and kick out that devil even if it's a temporary separation.

Flee from temptation... and don't leave a forwarding address. [/quote
LMAO. Too funny!

My advice is that you copy all the files for evidence. Don't think of divorce now but just make sure you have all the files. After this, call her sisters and other siblings for a meeting and make sure your Mum and Dad are present too, then ask those sisters in the presence of everyone what you've done wrong to warrant their actions towards your family. Make sure you reveal all that has been hiden in those files and play them when they deny. She might realise that all those actions are mistakes and change for good for life.

ezechueze:
Op,DIVORCE her immediately.one day she would poison you and take over your assets.

if you don't divorce her may God punish you for what.for wasting my time reading this epistle without doing the needful

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

Don't divorce her yet because I think she truly loves you but she is just immature without a mind of her own,she may just be young and naïve and inexperienced with too much respect for her older sisters and probably did what she did to please them. As Long as you haven't heard a recording of her parents giving her such advise keep listening until you do. I know its gonna be hard to act normal but You have to because you are a man.



My advise is that you sit her down and make her know you love and make her understand that you both should all within you power to protect the marriage but do not make her understand you are listening to her calls. After the discussion keep trying to make the marriage work and keep listening to her calls until you hear enough to make up you mind that despite your efforts to make the marriage work and make her change she doesn't want to change and know that you have enough to know that the marriage is over. Because right now you don't have enough evidence. She has a 7 siblings but only two are giving her these advise.

Don't divorce her unless you are sure she has no love for you.

When your loving wife suddenly become abusive and behave irrationally then it means that she has been bewitched. Without any apology, I blame it on idleness because an idle hand must be the devil's workshop, if your wife has been busy she would not be wasting time discussing famly confidential issues with her sisters.

When your marriage is flourishing and things are moving on well, then you should know that an altar of prayer must be set up against anti-marriage demons walking about bear footed looking for a careless and prayer less marriage to attack.
The truth is, good things need prayer, bad times need prayer too.

I do not care whether you are a Christian or Muslim, you must stand up and resist the devil fighting 24/7 against your home.

The devil can come and disguise through your husband, wife, sisters, brothers, uncle or anybody tear your marriage certificate to pieces.

Therefore, you must not only pray, you must watch, you must listen, you must apply wisdom.

Courtship, dating, wedding ceremony are just childplay compare to living together as married coupled. Marriage is hard work. Marriage is tasking. Marriage is full of challenges. If you handle it well you will enjoy it.

I refused to put all the

I have 3 questions for you OP to aid my analysis of the situation: 1. How old is your wife and what's the age difference between you two? 2. Which church do you attend? 3. What does she do besides being a wife(occupation)? 4. Is she born-again...on the basis of John 3:3 and IICorinthians 3:17? I want to take it from here...

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove

you can really see that members of this forum has ur interest at heart! and I know no1 on this forum would want a loving marriage 2 come crashing all of a suddenly, that won't benefit us in anyway... but 4d sake of ur daughter and unborn child.. u needed 2 take a step away from her 1st.. after u may have let those u want 2 be a privy 2d situation on ground aware of what is happening .and 1more question.. can u bear 2 live with d fact that.. u knew how much damage she would had made u gone through, and how emotionally wretched you would have been!!! love isn't always enough... and it seems u still doubt d genuineness of her pleas... brainwashing some1 is a skill and d sisters are good at it... they know her more than you do, and will always have their way around her unless God intervene..be vigilant and pray.. cos they certainly will use other means 2 bring u down, if not now... then later... MORNING!

ojun50:
I think u should go see yr parent nd talk to them nd explain tins to them because befor dis woman kill u or start going out to sleep out side

go to ur parent wit d phone and hear wot dey hv to say den call a meeting wit her own family too and my last advice to and do dna on ur child too

Luckygurl:
Devguru

Sincerely, you have a heart of gold and it's very obvious you want the best for your family.
Too bad your wife was easily manipulated.

Please!! Do inform one or two trusted person of all what happened. Your wife should be aware someone else knows in case something happens to you tomorrow (I pray it doesn't come to that).

I must commend your maturity amidst all these.
Get yourself together cos your marriage would wax stronger in love and harmony.

My prayers are with you in this trying time

good morning dear, hope u slept well?

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Please for the sake of your life, let one person you trust in your family know. You are playing with death my friend. It is obvious your wife cannot do without her sisters from her reaction so far. She will most likely tell her sisters and they may come up with something more evil. I am not saying divorce your wife but someone in your family has to know just incase they are up to something.

FOREXMART:
connect the bloody phone using usb to your laptop, extract the saved recorded files to your system, install the same app on your phone, connect your phone to your pc, transfer those recorded files you took from her phone to the same folder in your phone and play as evidence, create a back up on your system, divorce your wife, you can't sleep on the same bed with the enemy and devil, show the recorded message to her parents and your parents and send her packing, nuff said, drops Mic.

#Jack~Bauer-tinz

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

I disagree with u on this because something like this happen to my brother, n because of the love he has for his wife my bros find it difficult to divorce her. She did a lot of evil things to him like this n they will settle it within themselves and that brought him from GRACE TO GRASS. Pls don't get me wrong but any relationship that involve siblings,friends,mother,father may likely collapse because of evil advice, don't forget that women use to envy themselves including men, (especially from woman side) in this kind of situation DIVORCE is the best option n he must call family meeting so that they will know what happen. If not,only God know where those evil people are heading to.

My opinion sha.

That's what one get when one worship ones wife. One get heartbreak and heartburn.

When your loving wife suddenly become abusive and behave irrationally then it means that she has been bewitched. Without any apology, I blame it on idleness because an idle hand must be the devil's workshop, if your wife has been occupied she would not be wasting time discussing family confidential issues with her sisters.

When your marriage is flourishing and things are moving on well, then you should know that an altar of prayer must be set up against anti-marriage demons walking about bear footed looking for a careless and prayer less marriage to attack.
The truth is, good things need prayer, bad times need prayer too.

I do not care whether you are a Christian or Muslim, you must stand up and resist the devil fighting 24/7 against your home.

The devil can come and disguise through your wife, sisters, brothers, uncle or anybody to tear your marriage certificate to pieces.

Therefore, you must not only pray, you must watch, you must listen, you must apply wisdom.

Courtship, dating, wedding ceremony are just childplay compare to living together as married couple. Marriage is hard work. Marriage is tasking. Marriage is full of challenges. If you handle it well you will enjoy it.

Op i refuse to put all the blame on your wife, you have to forgive your wife and move on. That is life.

God bless your marriage.

God2man.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

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Whatever you do, make sure your parents and her parents know what is happening. Even if it's your dad and her dad, just tell someone from both sides

Whatever you do, this is not a case you settle without any member of your family knowing what is going on. Be very careful in that marriage because love is no longer blind but okpolo

I can't just imagine what will be going on in your mind right now, but this matter pass nairaland sir, call family meeting or, ,,, oh God!!!




Speechless.

publicenemy:
Don't divorce her yet because I think she truly loves you but she is just immature without a mind of her own,she may just be young and naïve and inexperienced with too much respect for her older sisters and probably did what she did to please them. As Long as you haven't heard a recording of her parents giving her such advise keep listening until you do. I know its gonna be hard to act normal but You have to because you are a man.



My advise is that you sit her down and make her know you love and make her understand that you both should all within you power to protect the marriage but do not make her understand you are listening to her calls. After the discussion keep trying to make the marriage work and keep listening to her calls until you hear enough to make up you mind that despite your efforts to make the marriage work and make her change she doesn't want to change and know that you have enough to know that the marriage is over. Because right now you don't have enough evidence. She has a 7 siblings but only two are giving her these advise.

Don't divorce her unless you are sure she has no love for you.

bro I'm not faulting ur opinion, u put it d best way u could.... but love ain't always enough.. DRASTIC SITUATIONS REQUIRE DRASTIC MEASURES...

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

I disagree with this advice, my dear in case u don't know this already is a matter of life and death. Divorce is d only and best option for him to remain alive if he forgives her she will now be more meticulous in her next plan biko run for ur dear life before u end up dead and its ruled a suicide