Timbuktou:


Yes people are evil, but I don't think he's being a pvssy. The truth is men don't love like women do. I also think he hasn't fully grasped the enormity of the happenings thus far. I would kill her, literally. Yes, I'm vindictive like that. I would alert no one of the recordings and will be faithful to her to the end.

One day she will just go out and not come back and it will chucked down to ritual kidnappings and that's that. It's cleaner that way. I don't have time for messy affairs such as this.

Lol, easier said than done, kill ko.

Please tell me how men love.

If he doesn't know how serious this is, then he is more pvssific than I thought.

I sincerely pray you do not REGRET this wrong decision of yours.

By your own admission, she didn't feel remorse for the betrayal but rather about the integrity of her elderly ones. I shake my head for you OP. You want to play loving husband where you are supposed to take action. You have isolated yourself for the kill by not not involving anyone at least your dad.

You are not safe with a weak-minded and scheming wife... If she's manipulated to harm you in order to put you in check or conceal the truth who do you think will suffer the impact the most? You think your wife love you more than your parents?? You don't trust the opinion of your parents? You have a bigger consequence coming your way. Trust me. A woman that can act out a script to frame you up, who is content to bring you into disrepute before your and her family?? You think you know your wife...just wait for it. You will know a woman is never to be made insecure.

We are a product of our decisions. I pray God's help for you.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove

aventura:

Anybody wey wan kill me better succeed. I will show no mercy over an attempt on my life. The lightest punishment for her would be maiming plus blindness. I done talk my own.

I don't know if you will read this my post but I will write it anyway. I read your update and was very sad at the way you handled this matter. I know you want to save your marriage but you were damn too lenient on your wife. I have been married for a pretty long time so I know what the hell I am talking about. You must punish her severely for her actions. She has to stay away completely from her sisters for a duration not less than 6 months. You have to show your displeasure massively and let her know that you no longer trust her. She has to win your love and trust back. Don't be too much in a hurry to forgive and forget. Tell your dad in confidence what happened.
She knows you love her very much and can easily win you back. You are not even convinced that she is remorseful and that's terrible.

Please treat her like an enemy for now until she shows the remaining true colors she is still hiding. If she is truly remorseful she will survive her time in the wilderness.
Finally she must apologise to you in front of her sisters and their husbands and make sure you humiliate them as well. I am sorry to say this but if they don't stay away from your marriage, consider your marriage over. A leopard doesn't change its spots.

canDy4eva:
r u a counselor?

do you want such a man to counsel you

freecocoa:
Lol, easier said than done, kill ko.

Please tell me how men love.

If he doesn't know how serious this is, then he is more pvssific than I thought.

It takes less than five minutes to kill anyone well. Anyway, leave that one.

If I start I won't finish that one.

Lol. Abeg, make the consider him children biko. He needs another set of eyes to look at this matter objectively. That's why he should let both sets of parents aware otherwise na obituary tins.

My brother,

OP is naive to me. No matter who you are, you must respect your life. He is very close to his undoing. It's just a matter of time. A fickle-minded scheming wife? That's a tribulation of a lifetime. He ain't seen anything yet.

TheCEO1004:
A foolish cockroach is it that goes into the grave with the fly.
Except this story aint true otherwise RIP base on this ur decision.

Greet FELA for me.

OP doesn't appreciate the gravity of his situation.
Sincerely, I was pissed at the update.

Well, it is said that our deaths will come from our indulgence, negligence or things we take with levity.

ohzee:
I don't know if you will read this my post but I will write it anyway. I read your update and was very sad at the way you handled this matter. I know you want to save your marriage but you were damn too lenient on your wife. I have been married for a pretty long time so I know what the hell I am talking about. You must punish her severely for her actions. She has to stay away completely from her sisters for a duration not less than 6 months. You have to show your displeasure massively and let her know that you no longer trust her. She has to win your love and trust back. Don't be too much in a hurry to forgive and forget. Tell your dad in confidence what happened.
She knows you love her very much and can easily win you back. You are not even convinced that she is remorseful and that's terrible.

Please treat her like an enemy for now until she shows the remaining true colors she is still hiding. If she is truly remorseful she will survive her time in the wilderness.
Finally she must apologise to you in front of her sisters and their husbands and make sure you humiliate them as well. I am sorry to say this but if they don't stay away from your marriage, consider your marriage over. A leopard doesn't change its spots.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove

nice one bro; just be carefull. But Id like to add, what is the relationship of those sisters and their husbands. How is their marriage? Is your marriage bearing the brunt of another failed marriage? How is their mum's relationship with their father? Then you'll know what to expect from her. What's your relationship like to her sister's husband, brother? Is there anyway you can talk with them assuming they are not under some kind of spell themselves.

pharmagba:

After playing it to all family members, then what next? Fighting, quarrelling and divorce. Thait is too childish, and such a man is not to enter marriage less so being called a man.
My job enables me to know issues about lots of marriage, and I see great marriage is actually a decision. A decision to love and stay together'. A you've got to be committed to that decision.
People in marriage have said worst things and done worst thing yet they weathered the storm of marriage. I tell you this iis a minor issue it can be easily resolved

you are pathetic and misguided human u don't know the meaning of trust,I bet you can do same,there are some brideges one must not cross in this life,once u cross it no going back,the spychological trauma,the emotional issues the trust I bet u don't understand I leave u to ur abysmal thinking mentality

Timbuktou:


It takes less than five minutes to kill anyone well. Anyway, leave that one.

If I start I won't finish that one.

Lol. Abeg, make the consider him children biko. He needs another set of eyes to look at this matter objectively. That's why he should let both sets of parents aware otherwise na obituary tins.

Ofcourse it does, arriving at that decision especially when not in rage is the difficult part for someone who isn't a born killer, but let's leave that one like you said.

You are right sha and that's if the kid is actually his, that kinda woman will do and undo, I can't even believe he's considering not telling his folks, yet you say he isn't a pvssy? If I hear.

Timbuktou:


Anybody wey wan kill me better succeed. I will show no mercy over an attempt on my life. The lightest punishment for her would be maiming plus blindness. I done talk my own.

don't take laws into your hands........

Na wa o.
How can a woman who married yoy against all odds turn out this way?
Your wife may just be a victim without even realising this; your marriage is still young and lacks a lot of experience. My suggestion is to call a family meeting btw your family, her parents and ONLY your wife, I repeat ONLY your wide her parents and yours. Everybody sure will ask her first the "reason" for her actions. Don't be surprised you will hear more than what you're heard from the phone. Something is going wrong somewhere and your wife may just be a victim of witchcraft.

Ahhh, S'angba fo !

Guy, do the needful fast.

Call an impromptu family meeting sharpaly. Play the recording for them all, accuse all the guilty and wak her out of your pad.

Here's the catch. Don't have divorce on your mind instead separation, as in, a break.

Temporary separation often works wonders for couples who've lost sight of why they came together in the first place. You said it yourself, you guys had a long courtship. Not everyone's mindset makes it intact through long courtship period. People unwittingly develop all sorts of quirks in long courtship atimes.

I've had cousins (royal princes) who engaged in long courtship with their espoused fiancees but screwed half the polytechnic just to de-konjilize and catch fun; when they married, they couldn't stop! What about hostel mates, aristo babes, who stashed "life-partner boyfriends" in far away Uni's & some even working class guys BUT they shagged as freely as they needed money, trips and adrenaline down-below! How do you think their marriages would look later without radical rethinks?

Separation will give her the time to sort out things on whether she wants in with you or whether she wants to move on.

Get ready to move on also because the price of your confrontation may mean a repackaging on their part.

God help your soul if she cries and begs and promises heaven and earth while still bearing her mission objectives in mind. Omo, na only ur mama head go save you because she would then be harder to detect.

quivah:

do you want such a man to counsel you

if the need arises, y nt n besides am a counselor too.

canDy4eva:
if the need arises, y nt n besides am a counselor too.

as a counselor yourself, you think his advice on this thread is any thing to go by?

I think not!

There are always two sides to a story.

Looks like she does not work. Looks like she depends on the OP for upkeep. Looks like she feels it is not enough (cos her family sends her money). I hope OP is not preventing madam from working, some men don't like it when a woman has money.

Did OP give madam reason to suspect he is cheating (cos she insisted that he comes home early).

I hope OP did not give madam reasons to go lamenting to her family about her hubby hence the advice.

You marry someone who repeatedly stabs you in the back, abuses your parents and tarnishes your image with the help of her siblings and yet people are advising you not to divorce? Someone that knowingly plans your downfall with her siblings. Have you not heard blood is thicker than water?
Please walk away from that marriage unless your death is next. Is it by force to stay married? If marriage was important, why didn't Jesus get married. Walk away now before its too late.

Timbuktou:


Hahaha. Let me see:
1. Divulging family secrets.
2. Conspiring to ridicule one's husband.
3. Conspiring to levy false accusations against one's husband.
4. Conspiring to run a parallel family behind husband's back.
5. Deliberately falsely accusing and damaging husband's image.
6. Manufacturing a PHYSICAL and verbal altercation from thin air, in the morning.
7. Disparaging husband's mother and family.

How dare I compare all these with "outright physical abuse" the height of domestic disputes. Byvan, no offence, you sound daft.

Lmao don't mind the guy he's super daft bro u be lawyer I enjoy all the listing

@DevGuru, sorry to say this but you are not smart, not thinking logically at all. Your wife has shown that she is not invested in the marriage and you are still insisting on keeping her close?

The very first thing she should do is to call your parents and siblings and apologize for lying to them about you beating her. She should also cut off all correspondence with her family for at least a year, to show that she is willing to let her marriage work.

Set rules that if she should break, it means the end of the marriage. If you were my brother, I would insist you start divorce proceedings because she obviously doesn't see any future in it.

GoldenJAT:
call a family meeting sharply....giv them no room 2 suspect that you are up2 something,do make sure every1 of her siblings are there ...as well as urs.. play those records for them... and divorce her.. the marriage is over already... Just tell urself d hard truth.... u married a wolf in sheep clothing... that family is a cult,prepare 2c and hear more than u can take.... ur time start's now.. I personally be following you up.. don't mind having ur number... stories like these one.. is what makes men treat even d good women with disdain. ...it breaks my heart 2 know that those that can clean ur tears are actually d ones that will make u cry blood.. u will come out stronger. the Lord is ur strength!

This is the best advice you can get anywhere.
If i were in your shoes i will take this advice.
As for me marriage is not a do or die affair, after all nothing is worth dying for.
Send her away and enjoy the following:
1. joy
2.peace of mind
3.freedom
4.long life
5.good health
6.financial strength
Etc.
Note: Love does'nt exist.

freecocoa:

You are right sha and that's if the kid is actually his, that kinda woman will do and undo, I can't even believe he's considering not telling his folks, yet you say he isn't a pvssy? If I hear.

I guess he knows the marriage is over should his parents have the slightest whiff of what's happened. I envy him not. He's still in denial. Someone like me, though, smh.

You should see the movie 'Basic'

Something is wrong somewhere. That could have placed doubts in her and turned her into a demon
Or she was from the onset which even led the guy to loose one of his ...
It could also emanate from work because it really started from the day he had an important meeting. Some one might might be eying him or his position
Which ever way it is setting up a joint family meeting and exposing her conversation is a step in the right direction which I believe will bring out other revelations.

LuveU2:
Wow. This is not good at all.

modified: Haven read till the end, your wife's recent behaviour does not add up because it betrays logic and common sense.

How can a woman who stood by you when you had a life threatening ish go so low to damage your reputation after?

Even if she can conceive a thought like this, for what profit is she spoiling you? She has all to lose.

If your story is true, then your wife may start roaming the streets soon cause she does things that make no damn sense.

byvan03:




No, I can't be categorised as daft just because a man your age suffers from severe diahhoer of the fingers, impaired enough to type like a suckling. If you can't put your emotions in check while having an objective discourse, please go to hell!! Reserve your Agbero tantrums for whom it may concern.

u are the one that shld shut the fuuuck up,u know nothing abt mariages u think is easy to wake up daily and see the face of someone that render u useless

OP, i read your original post and the followup..

Also read posts and advices from numerous people here....

OP, why have you all decided to turn deaf ears to whats happening in our society now?

Divorce is not an option till something tragic happens, she deceived you with tears the first time, how are you sure this isnt another ploy?

You all keep thinking about your kids, but if something more tragic happens to you whar happens to your kids? isnt that worst?

If you think your bond with your wife (read ex-wife) will ever be stronger than that of her sisters, then you are in for a rude awakening.

When was the last time you took her out? Wen was the last time you both had a good laugh,
Anyone who would accept an advise or advise someone else to hate my mother, ceases to b an ally...

Be wise.... and stop being blinded by this nigerian craze of FOR BETTER FOR DEATH

My husband always say it is better to enjoy marriage here on earth and go to hell dan to endure marriage nd still end up in hell, ur wife nd her family has a mission, DIVORCE her before dis family destroy you

chachanga:
Ahhh, S'angba fo !

Guy, do the needful fast.

Call an impromptu family meeting sharpaly. Play the recording for them all, accuse all the guilty and wak her out of your pad.

Here's the catch. Don't have divorce on your mind instead separation, as in, a break.

Temporary separation often works wonders for couples who've lost sight of why they came together in the first place. You said it yourself, you guys had a long courtship. Not everyone's mindset makes it intact through long courtship period. People unwittingly develop all sorts of quirks in long courtship atimes.

I've had cousins (royal princes) who engaged in long courtship with their espoused fiancees but screwed half the polytechnic just to de-konjilize and catch fun; when they married, they couldn't stop! What about hostel mates, aristo babes, who stashed "life-partner boyfriends" in far away Uni's & some even working class guys BUT they shagged as freely as they needed money, trips and adrenaline down-below! How do you think their marriages would look later without radical rethinks?

Separation will give her the time to sort out things on whether she wants in with you or whether she wants to move on.

Get ready to move on also because the price of your confrontation may mean a repackaging on their part.

God help your soul if she cries and begs and promises heaven and earth while still bearing her mission objectives in mind. Omo, na only ur mama head go save you because she would then be harder to detect.

Well said cos she would cover her track well.

aventura:
don't take laws into your hands........

Yes, uncle

Hope the Op is not dead already. Cos the wife might be a NLder. Maybe she has poisoned him. See op divorce her before its too late. Let me tell you a story. My mum's younger bro married a woman that every family member told him not to marry. Later the wife born pikin, during a get together celebration like Christmas, the wife tore the husband's junior sister's cloth, an old neighbor warned him to send the woman away, but he refused saying, his wife have already bore him a child. Leave her and marry another person, but no, he was hell bent on his wife will change till she bore him 3 children and started showing him hell. He has already sold his house now, literally has nothing and now resides in his elder sister's house. The children's life has destroyed, one of them married a man with 3 wives, and the other girl has dobe abortions 2 times. Run op if u r still alive.

OP, it is only when there is life you can be talking about kids.

These kinds of people (her and her family) are DANGEROUS. For your own safety, make sure at least one person from your side is aware of what has transpired and make sure your wife knows this.

Op if u truely love this gal as u claimed, then u have to behave so mature cos she is kid,
I will advice u to find a means to hide that her fon from her reach and get her a new one, find her work to do cos an idle mind they say * is a devil workshop*cos that her siblings are making use of her gullible brain and don't engage in a serious argument with her again to avoid her pushing u to make the first move, when ever she talks u into the mood of beating her just laugh at her and keep ur calm, also show her more love than ever.
Or u can talk to ur dad alone to know what to do

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

It is good to trust the Bible at all times. (Proverbs 3:5,6)(Isaiah 55:6,7)

The treachery displaced by your in-laws is bad.

The best thing is not to take to heart what they say. (7Eccl 7:21-22).

Also, you need to have insight (Psalms 19:11)

What is their motive? Why are they 2 faced? Why do they want to ruin your marriage?

Frankly speaking, I think their jealous. They envy their sister and want to spoil what she has. People like to bring others down to feel better about themselves or their present lot in life. They probably resent her blissful marriage.

Another is that they may be cynical by nature. They think your marriage is too good to be true. Hence, they want to bring into place a self fulfilling belief. So, they want to create that discord in the family.

As I said, do not take what they have said to heart what they say or do. They want you to stumble and will simply magnify every misstep. They have done that already. The more mistakes you make, the better their chances of succeeding.

So, just act that you are unaware of what is going on and remain calm to the end. Continue loving your wife (Colossians 3)

I will continue later. Hold your peace for now