₦airaland Forum

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

U 2 much!

my advice to u is to call d both family and play d voice recorder to dem and ask ur wife and d sister wat has u and ur family done to dem in front of all so DAT dey will tell evey one

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

so anoing, with the above I am sorry to say,your wife is so dull mentally slopped being. my suggestion: apprehend the phone first,its already war time so war approaches should be adopted. because some dude are funny that if you copy it to your phone they can deny their voice and accuse you of felony. don't make any secrete conversation with her or her sisters,ensure whatever step you taking involves people(her parents,sisters &yours) pls ensure to play the recordings in case of subsequent outcome.I believe those silly things she called sisters have ruined their own homes and are jealous of the peace she's enjoying in her own home (your wife) that's why I said she's a fool to have allowed such insanity perpetuate into her.may I suggest you do the altimate "DNA" on your child.do well to forgive her if she acknowledge her wrongs genuely,but be more prepared to divorce her,becos I see treat of life in this whole mess,don't mind those commenting that you must try to keep your home,I don't support that because she should have thought of that before allowing such.keep her as she want.I am so anoid with this. remain bless and be very careful so that they don't act the script on her by making her poising you,I perceive they are on the verge to destroy her, because they have never loved her,but have pretended to, all this while.

Oilandgas1:
Bros u will make heaven for this advice....

lol...thanks bro.. but heaven no easy 2 enta o... I just de pity d man.

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

sorry guys for copying this long epistle, my sincere input is this, if you really love urself and really want your wife back to default, just ignore as if nothing happened, you can keep the voice note for future purpose though. (mind you, it's not easy, but remember you are opportune to come across this revelation, which is just a sign to re trace your step and take proper / certain precaution. ) show her more care / affection, and plan getting her a job ASAP as an idle hand is the devil workshop. and lastly move closer to God. Remain blessed.

Lizzyangel:
for the people who kept asking questions like,the op has wronged the wife before she took those steps,
how could a loving wife turn evil overnight and so all....

here is my view on what make her react that way, I'm a Lady and also married,I know what it takes to love a husband and trust him to the extent of not having a second thought on IF he will cheat on you...
according to the op's write-ups, she changed and started feeling insecure when her husband started keeping late night and feeling cold towards here in few weeks, so as a lady and not working,she would have thought a long way

* hoping her hubby is having affairs
*regretting the fact that she trusted him and he betrayed her and decided to act fast without asking her husband or patiently waiting for the reasons for such moves,but allow a third party to ruin her home.

advice to the op

if you're the religious type, you can forgive and forget
but I'll remind you of Yoruba adage which says "kosi bi a se fe se ebolo ti koni run igbe"
no matter the level of your forgiveness, you'll still have the occurrence in mind, "eni to su le gbagbe, sugbon eni to ko o le gbagbe lailai"

Summary : give her few months break after playing what you saw,if any family member wants to interfere, don't play the record to anyone as it can spread more than you think and everyone will be aware of your shortcomings, if after the break you think you've forgotten and she have changed, call her back home.

Note : don't ever go through her phones "oun oju o ri, kii bokan je"

best of lucks dear.

I think God really loves him that's why something pushed him to check through his wife's phone, if not how would he know about all these? If the OP hadn't gone through her phone maybe something worse would have happened to him

mira4u:
The best comment so far.


Haba!!! Too many odd comment. Seun we need dislike button in this forum so pple get to know their comments are awkward.


Op we know the situation is painful but don't take any hasty decision while still hurt cos u might take a wrong step. In addition to what has been said by the poster I quoted, pls I believe you can still redeem your wife. It may be she's just being misled by her sisters n can be redeemed. I'll suggest you tell somebody like a pastor or any elderly person she respects to make her see the dangers that her actions can cause in the marriage, only if you have tried talking to her n no improvement.

we are mortals... and things get 2 us.. the op would be the problem lata... if he fails 2 act now.. imagine his wife, telling him I love you... and his mind just went back 2 everything she did 2 him... he will turn a beast.. the heart doesn't forgive easily in this type of situation.we can't be God!!

ashjay001:
Op, a delicate child is involved, so pls temper love with whatever u're doing.

Its always about d kids , in most marriages, at d end of d day.

Play it to ur parents, play it to her and rest ur case. Her subsequent reactions/behavior will determine ur way forward. All things pass, this too will pass.

Eyahhhhh....... **snffs**
It's about d kids shey?

Don't worry, when d simpleton wife is brainwashed to stab him in d neck/add otapiapia to his food, d pikinz will not live dia lives abi?

Ngwa!


https://www.nairaland.com/3203169/
wife-stabs-integrated-science-
teacher/1#47172503

https://www.nairaland.com/2912463/
yewande-fatoki-husband-killer-
pictures

GoldenJAT:
call a family meeting sharply....giv them no room 2 suspect that you are up2 something,do make sure every1 of her siblings are there ...as well as urs.. play those records for them... and divorce her.. the marriage is over already... Just tell urself d hard truth.... u married a wolf in sheep clothing... that family is a cult,prepare 2c and hear more than u can take.... ur time start's now.. I personally be following you up.. don't mind having ur number... stories like these one.. is what makes men treat even d good women with disdain. ...it breaks my heart 2 know that those that can clean ur tears are actually d ones that will make u cry blood.. u will come out stronger. the Lord is ur strength!

Well said

Divorce her sharp sharp. Becos one day u might lose your life. Ur life is more precious please.

Ogbeni.
1. Seize (or steal) the phone and hide it away. You need the original evidence. Make copies of the original.
2. Take a day or two off work.
3. Visit your dad, revisit and review the issue.
4. Play the recording with him. (Do not involve ur mum yet. Mums get too emotional)
5. Ask his opinion.
6. Involve your mum later.
7. Create an avenue/situation that can bring both families together. Ensure by every means available to you, that all those that matter attends.
Let your wife, her siblings and other eminent family members be on the HIGH TABLE. Ensure that. Tell the video man to pay particular attention to high table.
8. Praise your wife and her family members especially the actors in the last issue
9. Then release the incriminating evidence. You can have the file in *.mp3 format and have the DJ play it or have the conversation subtitled and displayed on screen too so everyone doesn't miss a point.
10. Please make a good job to ruin your wife and her siblings reputation. Let it be the highlight of the event.

11. Use the occasion to announce her "suspension" from your house/life.

12. Before step 11, you must have your mum, sister or a trusted person take custody of your daughter.
Also, get another person have her things all ready packed up (not outside the house to avoid neighbours suspicion) while everyone is away.

You must make it an event she will remember for the rest of her life....

Op sad story..... but we haven't heard *HER* side of the story. And when we do I won't be surprised that she'll blame you completely. It takes two to tango.

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a

Now to your findings first of all copy it
husband. [/b]

WRONG:::::::you don't get it,this same woman will tell aver sibling and what if the gullible wife was advice to poison the poor guy,since they call him half-man,bro it is just unfortunate in this life,Bad thing usually happen to Good men,am not removing u from the blame,once a woman start behaving unusual in the house u know there is problem,call meetings play the tape,tell her to leave ur haus that moment take ur daughter far away from that family they are evil

whatever decision u choose to go with,I want u to think over this
ur strange illness n that of ur daughter n ur sister in-laws,any connection all the best!

AlienStar:
I can never advise you to divorce her esp since she is not infidel... This generation forgot that marriage must have it's ups & down, it ain't a bed of roses. And you should know that she knew her siblings b4 you (I'm ain't justifying her o, buh it's the reality) so it may be easy for them to manipulate her esp as she's the last born! So now copy does recordings to your phone (as proof) and ask her about it, tell that this is her home that she shouldn't allow her siblings to run it for her to avoid expensive mistake. I think you shouldn't invite a 3rd party and always pray together ("cause the family that prays together, stays 2geda".)

what r u saying? ?

teemy:
timbuktou, you had a very nice initial writeup only to create conflict by laying one on byvan03 which has led to back and forth name calling. you started it so please end it. apologise and shake hands. cheers

Sorry, but I don't apologise to witches. If I had my way I would stone them to death.

pastorpussy:
People do install call recorder on their phones probably to listen to calls again or whatsoever reason.

I do av a call recorder on phone. Anybody that can locate my source files will surely get to listen to my recorded conversation..

So in reality, his story in that aspect conforms with the norms.

I'm not sure how this call recorder things works, but does it not prompt before it records the calls. Or does it go ahead to record ALL calls?

Seems to me that someone with such a damming app will be quite concious of her phone conversations, bearing in mind that she married a 'techie' and those conversations are against him. Just saying ........

Ujoan:
I'm not sure how this call recorder things works, but does it not prompt before it records the calls. Or does it go ahead to record ALL calls?

Seems to me that someone with such a damming app will be quite concious of her phone conversations, bearing in mind that she married a 'techie' and those conversations are against him. Just saying ........

It all depends on settings. Some call recorders record auto while some others need to be prompted.

GoldenJAT:
call a family meeting sharply....giv them no room 2 suspect that you are up2 something,do make sure every1 of her siblings are there ...as well as urs.. play those records for them... and divorce her.. the marriage is over already... Just tell urself d hard truth.... u married a wolf in sheep clothing... that family is a cult,prepare 2c and hear more than u can take.... ur time start's now.. I personally be following you up.. don't mind having ur number... stories like these one.. is what makes men treat even d good women with disdain. ...it breaks my heart 2 know that those that can clean ur tears are actually d ones that will make u cry blood.. u will come out stronger. the Lord is ur strength!

I support this move 100%.... OP please safe ur life

DonX001:
Guy, I've been clicking 'Like' on almost all your comments on page 2 and 3, especially how you handled Byvan.
I'm impressed by your thinking and your comments.... highly cerebral.
On this thread, I give you kudos.

My brother, may God deliver us evil women. Believe me, I've had more than my fair share of them.

Timbuktou:
Sorry, but I don't apologise to witches. If I had my way I would stone them to death.

seems you guys were initially buddies, what happened?

GoldenJAT:
call a family meeting sharply....giv them no room 2 suspect that you are up2 something,do make sure every1 of her siblings are there ...as well as urs.. play those records for them... and divorce her.. the marriage is over already... Just tell urself d hard truth.... u married a wolf in sheep clothing... that family is a cult,prepare 2c and hear more than u can take.... ur time start's now.. I personally be following you up.. don't mind having ur number... stories like these one.. is what makes men treat even d good women with disdain. ...it breaks my heart 2 know that those that can clean ur tears are actually d ones that will make u cry blood.. u will come out stronger. the Lord is ur strength!

Nicely said....

jhydosky:
Ogbeni.
1. Seize (or steal) the phone and hide it away. You need the original evidence. Make copies of the original.
2. Take a day or two off work.
3. Visit your dad, revisit and review the issue.
4. Play the recording with him. (Do not involve ur mum yet. Mums get too emotional)
5. Ask his opinion.
6. Involve your mum later.
7. Create an avenue/situation that can bring both families together. Ensure by every means available to you, that all those that matter attends.
Let your wife, her siblings and other eminent family members be on the HIGH TABLE. Ensure that. Tell the video man to pay particular attention to high table.
8. Praise your wife and her family members especially the actors in the last issue
9. Then release the incriminating evidence. You can have the file in *.mp3 format and have the DJ play it or have the conversation subtitled and displayed on screen too so everyone doesn't miss a point.
10. Please make a good job to ruin your wife and her siblings reputation. Let it be the highlight of the event.

11. Use the occasion to announce her "suspension" from your house/life.

12. Before step 11, you must have your mum, sister or a trusted person take custody of your daughter.
Also, get another person have her things all ready packed up (not outside the house to avoid neighbours suspicion) while everyone is away.

You must make it an event she will remember for the rest of her life....

shuo! This one pass world war 3!! You don't need to go this far na

My honest advice to you is to divorce her as she seems to be a person who does not have a mind of her own and can one day heed advice to kill you to inherit your wealth. May God help us all.

freecocoa:
Hey stranger.

Dude, I find it hard to believe that anyone would suggest something other than divorce, like wtf? Talking about how she's naive, vulnerable and doesn't have a mind of her own, say what?

That woman knows exactly what she's doing, Satan has nothing on her.

African Cocolito, kedu?

Well, we do live in a strange world, don't we? Mr. DevGuru's days may be numbered with the way he's handled the issue. I know I wouldn't be able to sleep in the same house as that woman.

I already warned him about crocodile tears. I wish him luck.

Mafking:
Bro your matter pass nairaland.o

Your story just wan destroy my mood ni...

His story don destroy my mood already... what a wicked world... I feel your pain bro, I beg with the name of anything you're serving please DIVORCE her before she poisons you

Einl:
Op sad story..... but we haven't heard *HER* side of the story. And when we do I won't be surprised that she'll blame you completely...

could a family feud devguru is not aware of. her family seems to be in it.

WellEndowed:
Whatever you do, make sure your parents and her parents know what is happening. Even if it's your dad and her dad, just tell someone from both sides

hello sir.if your wife is not truly repentant then you just killed yourself. When I said yourself,I actually mean she will kill you in other to stop this from spreading.. Run to your dad and your father in law very fast,else you may have yourself to blame in future..REPENTANCE IS NOY SHEDDING TEARS BUT TURNING A NEW LEAF.

agesron:
I disagree with u on this because something like this happen to my brother, n because of the love he has for his wife my bros find it difficult to divorce her. She did a lot of evil things to him like this n they will settle it within themselves and that brought him from GRACE TO GRASS. Pls don't get me wrong but any relationship that involve siblings,friends,mother,father may likely collapse because of evil advice, don't forget that women use to envy themselves including men, (especially from woman side) in this kind of situation DIVORCE is the best option n he must call family meeting so that they will know what happen. If not,only God know where those evil people are heading to.

My opinion sha.

Any you think he will find an angel to marry the very next day.
Tell me which woman ( or man) doesn't have own fault. I don't know what your brothers wife did but thiis one is a small issue I see both willing to keep the marriage hence let's give the marriage a chance to make up.

All this killing you are talking about I don't know where you are getting it from. If the interest is killing the man they won't be talking of a job. The discussion with the is just a sister talk that gone awry and can destroy the marriage hence need to mend things

I already see the end of the matter. You'll forgive cause you're not the type of guy that holds grudges. She'll further prompt you to destroy your evidence (recorded calls) as a sign of good faith which you'll do for sure cause all you want ( but don't need ) is for your marriage to survive. Then. Afterwards you're back to square 1 just that this time she'll come for you like never before and won't make the mistake of leaving her tracks behind this time. Wake up to reality bro. Your inlaws are capable of framing you for murder or any other charge convenient for them without blinking an eyelid. So my advise is this... Call a family (and pastors/imams) meeting and play the tape for all to hear so you'll be justified. The final decision whether to continue with your marriage or not lies with you. But getting witnesses from both sides to hear that tape is a MUST. It's not debatable.

Send your wife to me. She needs evaluation.
Her evil sisters too are welcome. I have nice basement bed space for them

eitsei:
I think God really loves him that's why something pushed him to check through his wife's phone, if not how would he know about all these? If the OP hadn't gone through her phone maybe something worse would have happened to him

Don't mind the people saying he shouldn't have gone through her phone. Thank God he realized he is living with a snake. Only he would be putting himself at more risk if he keeps this a secret, who knows what other plans they have for him. and now that she knows he knows, he is even in more danger.

The story gave me shivers.