₦airaland Forum

Chai!!! Bro!! U need serious prayers. I wud advise u confront dem wif those recordings. Den send her packing immediately. Don't divorce her. She wud come back begging. Also confront her parents and sister's husbands bout dier interference in ur marriage. This is a very serious issue.

MrMcJay:
OP, keep her in your house very well you hear? Wetin dey worry u sef?
E dey do me like say make I use slap jump-start ur brain.

The day her sisters advise her to kill you, you are a dead man. Rat poison is very cheap, 3 for N50. You'll just start getting dry and die behind the fridge Alternatively, when she disconnects the brake of your car and you dance under Dangote trailer, we'll read it here on NL.

By the way, tell your wife's sister's husbands o what their wives are up to. At least if you guys want to buy your coffins in bulk, it should be cheaper.

Even if you don't value your life, pity your mother and daughter and kick out that devil even if it's a temporary separation.

Flee from temptation... and don't leave a forwarding address.

The underlined really got me in stitches!

#chop~and~dry~tinz. lolz.

As trivial as it may sound, it is d utmost truth! The issh! here is dt d lady is super-gullible and as such can't be trusted . What more definition of an enemy does one need?

Devguru was 2 hasty! He shdnt have played d recording 2 her. That would have been d joker, but now dt d cat is outta d bag, he has only succeeded in making a simpleton wiser as she (and her demonic advisers) won't be caught napping thru dt means. They will surely device a non-techie way of communicating their evil machinations.

Surely, he has to reveal ds mess (recordings) to at least his dad (ds was d 1st action he Shd av taken).

From his write-up, it's pretty obvious dt d siblings (ladies) were envious of her marriage but "madam" wuz. 2 blind 2 notice.

The worst friend one can pray 2 have around him/her is a fickle-minded fellow, how much less a spouse. Dt's like sitting smoking on a drum of gun powder!


4 a start, he must Tell his father!

canDy4eva:
r u a counselor?

Yes. I am.

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

Wrong advise.
Until she woman kills him abi ? Den u all will flood nairaland writing RIP for him
From d writer up ,d woman is just evil, such pple don't respect second chance.
Instead of dem you repent during dat second chance , dey use d opportunity to finish up d evil plan dey had in mind saying after all now d man already knows what can he do?

@Post

I can't tell you what to do but if I were in your shoes, I doubt I can stay with such a woman. Such a woman can kill if presented with the chance. I doubt she ever truly loved you because if she did, she will not blindly follow the ill advice of her older siblings. All I can say is save the recordings like other posters have suggested because you will need that evidence if you choose to call a family meeting.

GoldenJAT:
we are mortals... and things get 2 us.. the op would be the problem lata... if he fails 2 act now.. imagine his wife, telling him I love you... and his mind just went back 2 everything she did 2 him... he will turn a beast.. the heart doesn't forgive easily in this type of situation.we can't be God!!

Divorce should never be his first or only option in this case no matter how hurt he's feeling right now. I feel strongly that his wife is misled by her sisters and needs to be straightened.

chronique:
It's funny how you're asking someone to reason with her head,wth all the dumb,fooliish advices you've been giving here. God forbd I have a brother or friend like you.

Same here as well

GoldenJAT:
bro I'm not faulting ur opinion, u put it d best way u could.... but love ain't always enough.. DRASTIC SITUATIONS REQUIRE DRASTIC MEASURES...

Am not asking him to close his eyes to the dangers. That's why I said he shouldn't let her know he is listening to her calls. He should keep listening while trying to make things work. When he is sure things can't get better then he can split.

HaneefahRN:
Don't mind the people saying he shouldn't have gone through her phone. Thank God he realized he is living with a snake. Only he would be putting himself at more risk if he keeps this a secret, who knows what other plans they have for him. and now that she knows he knows, he is even in more danger.

The story gave me shivers.

not only you, my dear

Timbuktou:
African Cocolito, kedu?

Well, we do live in a strange world, don't we? Mr. DevGuru's days may be numbered with the way he's handled the issue. I know I wouldn't be able to sleep in the same house as that woman.

I already warned him about crocodile tears. I wish him luck.

Odi nma my dear, I see you are fine too.

It's really a strange world but funny enough, I see nothing strange in the OP's predicament, people are evil, brother.


OP is a pvssy nigga(yes I said it), that one is his beeswax anyways.

DevGuru:
This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

I will advise you to stay cool and make copies of the audio recordings to your device. Do this regularly as well. Now that your secret have been known in the family, you can confide your findings with only a trusted and reliable member of your family who can show you the way forward, especially if the person is a lawyer. I won't recommend a pastor because a pastor might make a mountain out of a mole hill, and I won't advise you to confront her now because it might generate into bigger problems but make it obvious to your siblings that all is not well as it ought to be in your Family. Like I said don't divulge your findings to everyone only a trusted one.

@ DevGuru: I feel your pain but i want you to know that you are not alone in such pathetic situation as a lot of other married couples are also undergoing situations like yours with some not been aware. This is a very delicate matter and you need to apply great wisdom. Do not think divorce yet as that may not be a good option yet. Note that in marriage, every woman has her own unique negative side likewise every man. And there is no successful marriage that has not had a quake like what yours is undergoing now. First step is, you should make a copy of that file by copying or transferring a copy to your device or phone as evidence. Then, call your wife and sit her down to discuss about it and why she had to record the conversation. But please, you must be very gentle with her. Do not show any anger or frustration. Put up smiles and laughter intermittently in the course of your discussion to hide your anger. This should make her relax too and being confused and sheepish. Do not react in anger or beat her even if she is shouting or whatever. If you do, everything is spoilt. Be open with her, say all that's in your mind, sweet or bitter, do not hide any words. Advice/ Talk to her like a baby, as she is to you, but in a very subtle manner but with deep feelings. Then if she isn't remorse for wrong doings and both of you were unable to reconcile this matter, call your dad to discuss with him on what is going on in your home. Tell him everything including the phone recordings. He too will apply wisdom in this matter to give you good advice on what steps to apply. Please, do not inform your mum and sisters or siblings in this matter. If you do, it might compound your problems and this may also be a problem for you if you eventually reconcile with your wife because they would dislike her and recall this issue in their mind anytime a talk on your wife comes up which might result to some kind of disrespect to you and your wife later. Your wife still loves you but she is just being naive and wrongly advised. I believe if you apply wisdom in this matter you would reconcile with her and she would systematically learn not to discuss her family issues with her sisters

OP more than 90% of peeps advising you to divorce your "hearttrouble" have not been in a relationship and sadly a bulk of them are jambites suffering from post UTME trauma.
You know what to do......what are you waiting for?

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

He should confront her alone and get a stab in the neck while sleeping shey.... Wife be damned o... No one came into this life to be wrecked by his fellow human being.

@ DevGuru, prepare for the worst.
Theres no situation that has no remedy but this is one of those issues that may not v remedy.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

With this ability to write efficiently, I suspect you will never be an easy prey to anyone's evil plans. I even suspect you may be one of those [bigwigs] in the literature section, who created a new account for the purpose of this revelation.

The only mistake made, perhaps, is that you have always loved your wife with your heart. A woman should be loved with one's head. That means while in love, your brain will be able to detect tiny [sparks] that have the potential to burn down a vast forest. Never give a woman 100% peace in marriage. If you do, they will abuse it, and become wise in their own sight.

Only your father is in the best position to advise you on this matter. Keep him in the know, while you become a demigod at home. But endeavor to find a job for her. That will make it look as though you have nothing against her anymore.

About women, they were created as a second fiddle. But in a bid to break free from that tag, they veer off tangent, and create problems for their selves. That is why feminism is on the prowl. They think abilities to write bestselling novels, produce hit songs translate to being superhumans that understand the mother earth than men do. They are mostly driven by possession, and wealth that can be called theirs; not those jointly owned. Her plan to create an investment in her home town tells it all. Check up their role models. You will be surprised to see Oprah Winsfrey and Adichie topping the list.


Adichie is a fiery talent; no one can take that from her. Oprah Winsfrey is a power bloc. But linking the statuses of these women to the main reason why we are here can be likened to ecstatic flinging of arms towards the sky.

Aunty,

I'm a married man. I know exactly what I'm saying. If you don't escalate to the point of no return, be ready for bigger consequences. Death is not far from the OP

glossy6:
shuo! This one pass world war 3!! You don't need to go this far na

mira4u:
Divorce should never be his first or only option in this case no matter how hurt he's feeling right now. I feel strongly that his wife is misled by her sisters and need to be strengthened.

She needs to be "Strengthened"... Please explain that. I am sure the wife is not a kid to allow outside elements disrupt her marriage.

vicchi12:
Please abstain from insulting me! I can give it to you real straight if you want. Maybe just very intelligent for you to handle. Divorce is not a good thing. However, life is too beautiful to force a woman or a man who is not truly iin love with you, to love you. It breeds resentment and not healthy for the children. It's even worse than divorce. It's not healthy. The woman obviously no longer loves him, but how of guilt is with him. And staying with him out of pity. She feels like she has no choice but to be with him, but is using her siblings to do encourage her with the things that she has in her heart. She needs an excuse to execute her plans, to give her a reason to continue to do this man what she's doing. The man on the other hand is clearly in denial. Deep down in his heart, he knows the truth, but really loves her. And hello! I'm in the psychology field for a reason. Okay? So best believe I know what I'm saying!

My dear, sorry if I have been hard on you.
This is not psychology anything! This is life!

The scenario you are painting is boyfriend girlfriend not marriage.

This will be my first comment on Nairaland, I had to join because of your post. I have had a similar experience with my husband though mine were just harmless jokes of my MIL ways but when I was confronted by my husband I felt very ashamed and begged for his forgiveness but after that I promised to keep everything that happened with my in-laws between myself and God. I will advice to you to confront her and tell her you will leave the matter to God but let her know your parents know about it as well but you have adviced them to stay out of it. She will feel very guilty and you will be surprised at the change except she doesn't love you at all.

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

I have to quote all to get your attention :
First: Transfer all the recordings to your phone.

Secondly, invite both families, it could be in the guise that you want to apologize for maltreating ur wife... They would rush quickly.

Thirdly, when all are seated, u can connect your phone to the CD and loudly play those conversation.

When you are done, explain to them why you called them.

Then sit down and just keep silent........

I have been their n understand you. If only family members can stay clear of, many marriages would be saved.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

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A foolish cockroach is it that goes into the grave with the fly.
Except this story aint true otherwise RIP base on this ur decision.

Greet FELA for me.

pharmagba:
Yes. I am.

kudos...

canDy4eva:
kudos...

Thanks.
Ironically it is only on Nairaland, I give counsel freely and I get terribly bashed for it.

Others pay handsomely and thank me for it when things work out.

freecocoa:
Odi nma my dear, I see you are fine too.

It's really a strange world but funny enough, I see nothing strange in the OP's predicament, people are evil, brother.


OP is a pvssy nigga(yes I said it), that one is his beeswax anyways.

Yes people are evil, but I don't think he's being a pvssy. The truth is men don't love like women do. I also think he hasn't fully grasped the enormity of the happenings thus far. I would kill her, literally. Yes, I'm vindictive like that. I would alert no one of the recordings and will be faithful to her to the end.

One day she will just go out and not come back and it will chucked down to ritual kidnappings and that's that. It's cleaner that way. I don't have time for messy affairs such as this.

Don't devious her. Confront her sisters in presents of there husband surprise visitation to them all and play the record. Guy be a man after then leave the house for her. As they want to spoil ur home there husband will not be happy them. Thanks.

obiksam:
My brother you seen it all. Forward the record to ur phone. Visit her sister play it in front of there husband and warn them and also play it to there dad and mum pack you few things and leave the house. They will come begging u what kongaga kwangaga arrant nonsense

nma24:
He should confront her alone and get a stab in the neck while sleeping shey.... Wife be damned o... No one came into this life to be wrecked by his fellow human being.

Hehehehehe...., when gbege eventually hapin, na d same "counselors" go flood nairaland with "rip", "Eyahhhhh" comments

SMH!

bukatyne:
Fem29, thanks for the mention.

@DevGuru:

I feel this is not the whole story. Nobody goes seeking for advice when there is no problem ( real/imagined).

What changed your wife from a loving fiancée who stood by you to a betrayer who is working towards building a parallel life?

What did you do to your wife?

Another witch spotted. In the days of Moses, you and your co-travellers would have been stoned to death.

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?

I am quoting to get your attention!! Been checking your last seen all night. Please post something to let us know you are still alive.

I'm a lady nd also a strong feminist bt in dis case I wuld advice u to go for a divorce,I know afta divorcing her she will then realize d effect of what her siblings have done to her marriage bt by den it wil b too late..may God see u thru@op

Timbuktou:
Yes people are evil, but I don't think he's being a pvssy. The truth is men don't love like women do. I also think he hasn't fully grasped the enormity of the happenings thus far. I would kill her, literally. Yes, I'm vindictive like that. I would alert no one of the recordings and will be faithful to her to the end.
One day she will just go out and not come back and it will chucked down to ritual kidnappings and that's that. It's cleaner that way. I don't have time for messy affairs such as this.

andromida:
Why the sisters come sound like witches in a coven?

But seriously why are you blaming the sisters? i am curious what did your wife tell them before they gave her that type of warpath advice?

Don't be naive, look at your wife be careful in pointing fingers.

Your wife may have been feeling a need for counsel when she couldn't understand something about you so she took it to them and they helped as best they could which means you and your wife are not as tight as you thought so here is an opportunity to know her better not paint her as you want her to be in your mind - perfect naive woman being corrupted by jealous sisters otherwise you may never truly get to know her. Did you know this part of her before? well now you know her some more and what she is capable of when she is anxious or scared of whatever.

I hope you get the wisdom to sort things right.

With respect to this case,I still can see any hint of naivety in all of her actions(wife).What I see is a prowling devil seeking to ruine the life of a man.
Some women are just like that!