₦airaland Forum

veave:
Tell your father to call her father and accuse him of trying to kill his son.

Change her phone and number. Without notice.
Tell her you do not want to see any snake in your house

DevGuru:
UPDATE!!!

glogirlie:
u haven't told us real ish here.. u have rily painted ur wife as d devil n u d saint and every1 is acting base on dat cos i cant see y ur wife n sister ll start to plan coup of there is not more to it.. my advise is to pray n seek God cos divorce is not an option cos of ur dota n dnt handle dis ish alone.. tell ur dad or mum d person u kñw can handle d ish well before involving oda members of dia family.....most important tin pray for guidance so u wont loose ur family

ADUNOKIKI:
OP,
I believe you have offended your wife or your wife have a grudge on you that you don't know about!!!!
If she suddenly change now, something is responsible or she is suspecting my you Un necessarily!!!


Divorce is not an option. Confront her in the midnight or early in the morning with evidence....

Devil is out there to destroy marriages!!!! Her sisters are the devil tools!!!!

Are her sister happily married? If they are not they may want her to fall to the same category!!!!

Don't divorce her if you still love her?

DevGuru:
UPDATE!!!

I must confess that Nairaland is a wonderful online community. In these trying times of mine, the only thing that has kept my head intact is the company I have here reading all comments. I would have revealed much more information about us especially for the sake of those who have expressed their doubts about the veracity of my story, but I can't, because I wouldn't want to provide some pointers for anyone on this forum who might know any of my wife's relatives or mine. Although I got several diverse opinions, all comments still depicted the kindness in the the hearts of the commenters. Even those who called me stupid for not being too hard on my wife did so because they feared I could lose my life - a high level of kindness which I appreciate a lot. Even the opinions I did not follow on this thread still served a purpose of enlarging the pool of options from which I was able to make a choice. I expect much more expressions of disappointment towards my folly (for deciding not to go for a divorce for the sake of my child, the unborn and the fact that my faith forbids me from marrying another woman if I choose not to live with her anymore).

On the morning following my last update, my wife's depression continued but I tried to act like a loving husband towards her. I could read in her face that the more I tried to be kind towards her, the greater the emotional torment she passed through because she found it hard to believe that I could forgive her. Maybe she even thought I was planning a brutal revenge, but this time, not against her alone but against her sisters. She could not imagine the extent of my actions if I was to execute her thoughts. In the evening, as we were having dinner, she started talking softly to me while looking at the food on the table. I had to tell her to speak louder because it was like she was talking to the food. Then she voiced out as tears rolled down her cheeks saying "I've informed all my siblings about our conversations that got leaked to you and they are not talking to me again". I asked her why they were not talking to her and she said they all must have been confused and I understood that to be because they did not know what my next move would be. Married adults of ages between 35 - 45 were running helter-skelter because they had just ruined their sister's marriage. Their ONLY hope was in my forgiveness. The Lord had suddenly delivered my 'enemies' into my hands and if I chose to wield my sword, they might have to relocate away from their home town because the extended family would know the shameful story that threw their last born out of marriage. I told my wife that seeing her crying for the misery of her sisters was annoying to me as it meant she was further betraying our home. Then I picked her phone on the dinning table to check whether the records were still there... lo and behold... everything was gone. Even the app itself had been uninstalled. I smiled and asked her why she cleared the calls and the app, she replied (crying further) "I just can't listen to the evil voices of myself and my sisters". I smiled again and asked "What about the app? You don't want me to ever hear anything again? She replied "No, I just wished to clear everything that could bring bring back the memory". Then I opened my laptop and navigated to a folder where I had copied all the conversations. I played one and she was shocked to hear it even louder than it was on the the phone. Her fears had just been confirmed... "Why was he pretending that he had forgiven me..." - just my own thought anyways. But truly, I had forgiven her, I was just trying to follow some wise counsel from Nairaland. She couldn't wait till the end, she left me with the food and walked to the bedroom. I slept on the living room couch that night.

The following morning, I continued to read comments on this thread and remembered I was sitting on a time bomb by keeping the whole thing to myself. I went to have my bath and told her I was going out. She was surprised because it was a public holiday. I was already on the road when I called my father that I needed to see him urgently. Luckily for me, he was at home, so I went straight to him and explained all that had happened to him while I played some 'music'. He praised me for taking the matter to him first because he knows we are all closer to mum and revealing such an issue to mum would mean an end - or at most, the beginning of the end. My dad respects my wife's parents a lot and would not like me to take them to their knees on this issue. He spoke with me at length. He said my wife was a good lady but the reason she was so vulnerable was because of her position in the family and that the sisters weren't so lucky this time. He advised me to get closer to my wife so that a natural distance could evolve between her and her sisters. He then begged me never tell my wife that I had revealed the matter to any of my family members because that would be a strong way for me to prove my love to her which she would ever live to appreciate. After all talks, he asked me to call one of my wife's sisters' husbands right in his presence because he knew they (the husbands) must have been told a 'padded' story. I first used the FCMB Mobile App on my phone to load N3,000 before making the call. At the start, he was cold with me on the phone as if a rival was trying to ask for his girlfriend's best food. Later, he admitted that he was aware of all that happened and started all those Yoruba elders' talk... how he had never raised his hand to beat his wife, how he would always walk out, how he and his wife prayed together... bla bla bla. Then I told him I was going to terminate the call and forward some files to him on Whatsapp. I simply picked two of his own wife's conversation with my wife and forwarded to him, expecting him to call back. After about 30 minutes, my Dad told me to call back. I called twice before he answered. He became cold again and couldn't say anything but that his wife would call me soon. After about 1 hour and nothing happened, I had to leave, but my dad told me to carry him along. When I got home, I walked to the bedroom and met my wife on the phone but I did not know who she was speaking with. I returned to the living room and continued reading from my myriad of advisers on this thread.

Then the call came in. It was my wife's sister's voice (not the eldest one)... begging me to forgive and try to forget. She sounded like she was outdoors under the influence of some heavy downpour. I can't express the feeling at that moment but the only thing that I remembered was Proverbs 16:7. (apologies to the wonderful Muslims on this thread...). Even though she didn't believe me, I forgave her. Then the husband collected the phone from her and spoke with me at length... apologising on behalf of the entire family. The major point he kept re-iterating was that I should not let my people know...

All the while, several other simultaneous calls were on. My wife's family members were calling one another while some also called my wife to know the extent of what I got hold of. Interestingly, the first born (who advised my wife to keep a separate account) had also been hinted and had run to their parents to open up to them. She could imagine the level of shame that was coming to her - A PhD holder who is the family's Senior Adviser on every issue. Her parents called her husband to join them immediately as he was their only front soldier who could speak to me. Suddenly, the first born's husband's call came in. He pleaded that he would not like us to revisit the ugly situation but that I was the only one that could save the entire family from the mess by forgiving everyone. He stated that he had been told everything that was done to me and he would like me to honour him and reverse my war order - this was when I confirmed that they had been speaking to my wife. He showered prayers on me while I remained aggressive in my AMEN responses (as if to let them know I was neutralising their spells on me). He promised to call my wife and warn her never to discuss her family issues again with any of her sisters. He also begged me severally never to reveal it to my people as it would mean a reversal to the beginning. Although he didn't give me the impression that my wife's parents were with him - my wife told me this later...

At night, my wife came to kneel down by my side to make her own pleading. I was very glad because the whole ambience was like the clear sky devoid of any cloudy covering after a thunderous rain. I spoke softly to her and began to re-iterate my ideals to her - it was a good preaching time for me. Now everyone (including my wife) is praying that I do not decide to spill the whole thing out one day. My wife's eldest sister later called me that night to directly tender her own apology - at a time she had confirmed I wasn't going to be hostile anymore.

For me, I believe there's so much left for me to do on my wife. For anyone who has followed the recent events of my life which could have ended in a tragedy but for God's intervention and would love to give me some helpful ideas as I move forward, kindly drop your comments. I'll be very glad to read them.

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove, mac04, mysticgal, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, yetseyi, Spydamannn, YourCoffin, peeparty, fem29, Pyno30, mylove4him, Petroking, ISpiksDaTroof, Elebiju, rosy1992, babayega, repogirl, jajainall, Contact17, packagerz, tete7000, MrD2, Taryur3, ahahnow, saintdennis, Marvel1206, olaarie, DICKtator, Insel, Wealthy15, DeRay98, Freeezzz, igbsam, danduchi, freecocoa, dissybling, CoCoLav, Ioannes, ify84, Almajiri1, Beey, emyreal1010, laikas, greatwhite, Biographyroom, FxDuke, Irishrena1, Totfulguy, Lescalier, freedomm, chronique, LUV1, buksaylor001, papinx, toye440, lovaleenny, 0ubenji, ekeroyal, teemy, goodgate, Luckygurl, compujyde, DonX001, yoged, meetdavid, teemy, newecop, solobenzo, Tunechi1, amacastel, luckyehis, igbsam, vicchi12, frozenSun, sweatlana, taemilola, DonX001, Totfulguy, luisina, Fawklicant, Silvofitz, binarykid, keke87, oyetpel, saasala, Mskrisx, Exlusive, borngeologist, ohynedar, Leorichy, Seamareggae, ephi123, NifemiOlu, uplawal, WellEndowed, princeakins, Ronke001, sexy74, vicadex07, mirob, Elle277, tianshie, mylove4him, Chriso2, Seamareggae, dacillin, bj4jesus, pastorpussy, Themandator

Themandator:
No matter your chanced discovery, the fact remains that you evoke neither love nor fear from your wife's older folk and this is not a good position to be... Now you have complicated issue by your discovery.

Whether you want to believe it or not, your wife will always have need for her sisters and they will give her attention only after they have extracted a firm promised from her to be more discreet..... Lets hope for the better.. I'm married and I take no nonsense from inlaws

openmine:
There is absolutely NOTHING that JUSTIFIES what the lady and her sisters were plotting to do against the man...they even went further to ridicule his damaged testicles....Which lady does such wickedness to the husband she claims to love?

Fawklicant:
@Devguru,
As much as it is tempting to congratulate you for your maturity as others here have done, I WONT! Pardon me for being pessimistic here, but what you have done here appears to me like window dressing to assuage your ego! Whatever apologies you are getting from your inlaws is just to save themselves from the shame and to save the marriage NOW. If it has to end, it has to end on thier own terms, at least that's how I feel they see it. Everybody in her family knows the one little secret that was meant for both of you(lost testicle) and no one in your family is allowed to know of the betrayal?

Sensible inlaws who have your(you and wife) interests at heart would reach out to your parents themselves and bring them in the know, since they are already friendly and seem to have 'immense' respect for each other, at least your father feels that way. That way issues would be in the open and resolved with each party berated accordingly. Mature inlaws settle issues like this all the time and from what you have said about your mum, she is mature and wise as exemplified in her relationship with your wife.

Right now, you are all alone but you do not know it yet. Your parents will not always be there. Forgiveness is a strong trait which should be given freely but tactfully. You do not just forgive because someone says sorry, you forgive when there is genuine repentance. For the simple fact that her family doesnt want your family to know is enough sign that the remorse is only coming because they were caught, not because they are truly sorry. You cannot rebuild what has'nt been destroyed. If you brought in your family and hers into the picture at the same time, everybody would be pained, but with your resolve to forgive and your mum and dad's wisdom, the healing would have come naturally but stronger and everybody would be better off because true remorse would have been shown not this.

You might be feeling like Don Corleone now but it would only be a matter of time before your wife confirms what she already suspects(that you can't do squat!) Just a matter of time. My brother, the way a real man operates is to HIT HARD ...and mellow, then repeat cycle again, just like love making.
No matter how nice you get, every woman needs to know that you have the propensity to be dangerous. That's how you keep them in check. You just lost a good opportunity to make a statement and keep her in your indebtedness subconsciously without rubbing it in her face.

Well maybe I'm a different breed, to each his own! Goodluck in your endeavours.

wealthywiseman:
@Fawklicant, you just captured my exact thoughts.

OP, believes he's got them where he wants and got everything worked out accordingly.

But he has failed to realised or should I say refused to acknowledge these very dangerous matters that has inadvertently appeared from the events.

- It's evidently very obvious his wife is not particularly loyal to him. She appears more closer to her family members than him. informing her family members of her husband's secret is a betrayal of trust. No good wife ever does this to her true husband.

- The wife's family members are seemingly backing down not because they are remorseful, they simply want to avoid the shame for being caught. Trust me, they will not forget this insult, they will be back with something more sinister. I don't think they ever liked the husband. He may have pissed them off sometime or somewhere.


- A true resolution of the feud should have involved both family members where every issue would have been tabled and addressed adequately. Why OP opted for their terms of resolution beats me.

- I do not encourage divorce, but OP appears to be too soft on the wife and her family. She and her family members have actually seen the worst he can do and what he is made off. OP has simply lost his elements.

My candid advice for the OP is to be prepared. something is definitely coming up. The wife is weak and the sisters are not smiling.

Then she
voiced out as tears rolled down
her cheeks saying "I've
informed all my siblings about
our conversations that got
leaked to you and they are not
talking to me again". I asked
her why they were not talking to
her and she said they all must
have been confused and I
understood that to be because
they did not know what my next
move would be. Married adults
of ages between 35 - 45 were
running helter-skelter because
they had just ruined their
sister's marriage. Their ONLY
hope was in my forgiveness.
The Lord had suddenly delivered
my 'enemies' into my hands
and if I chose to wield my
sword, they might have to
relocate away from their home
town because the extended
family would know the shameful
story that threw their last born
out of marriage. I told my wife
that seeing her crying for the
misery of her sisters was
annoying to me as it meant she
was further betraying our home.
Then I picked her phone on the
dinning table to check whether
the records were still there... lo
and behold... everything was
gone. Even the app itself had
been uninstalled. I smiled and
asked her why she cleared the
calls and the app, she replied
(crying further) "I just can't
listen to the evil voices of
myself and my sisters". I smiled
again and asked "What about
the app? You don't want mmmfore to,
ever hear anything again? She
replied "No, I just wished to
clear everything that could bring
bring back the memory"

maxjax:
I just hope the OP is still alive

DevGuru:
I'm still alive o my broda... I've been following everyone's thoughts and resisting the temptation to respond to individual posts until the time I am able to give further update. With what I've read so far, I think I'll have to include more background information in the next update.

DevGuru:
I'm still alive o my broda... I've been following everyone's thoughts and resisting the temptation to respond to individual posts until the time I am able to give further update. With what I've read so far, I think I'll have to include more background information in the next update.

maxjax:
I just hope the OP is still alive

maxjax:
I just hope the OP is still alive

buoye1:
Bros you wicked

---

DevGuru:
UPDATE!!!

I must confess that Nairaland is a wonderful online community. In these trying times of mine, the only thing that has kept my head intact is the company I have here reading all comments. I would have revealed much more information about us especially for the sake of those who have expressed their doubts about the veracity of my story, but I can't, because I wouldn't want to provide some pointers for anyone on this forum who might know any of my wife's relatives or mine. Although I got several diverse opinions, all comments still depicted the kindness in the the hearts of the commenters. Even those who called me stupid for not being too hard on my wife did so because they feared I could lose my life - a high level of kindness which I appreciate a lot. Even the opinions I did not follow on this thread still served a purpose of enlarging the pool of options from which I was able to make a choice. I expect much more expressions of disappointment towards my folly (for deciding not to go for a divorce for the sake of my child, the unborn and the fact that my faith forbids me from marrying another woman if I choose not to live with her anymore).

On the morning following my last update, my wife's depression continued but I tried to act like a loving husband towards her. I could read in her face that the more I tried to be kind towards her, the greater the emotional torment she passed through because she found it hard to believe that I could forgive her. Maybe she even thought I was planning a brutal revenge, but this time, not against her alone but against her sisters. She could not imagine the extent of my actions if I was to execute her thoughts. In the evening, as we were having dinner, she started talking softly to me while looking at the food on the table. I had to tell her to speak louder because it was like she was talking to the food. Then she voiced out as tears rolled down her cheeks saying "I've informed all my siblings about our conversations that got leaked to you and they are not talking to me again". I asked her why they were not talking to her and she said they all must have been confused and I understood that to be because they did not know what my next move would be. Married adults of ages between 35 - 45 were running helter-skelter because they had just ruined their sister's marriage. Their ONLY hope was in my forgiveness. The Lord had suddenly delivered my 'enemies' into my hands and if I chose to wield my sword, they might have to relocate away from their home town because the extended family would know the shameful story that threw their last born out of marriage. I told my wife that seeing her crying for the misery of her sisters was annoying to me as it meant she was further betraying our home. Then I picked her phone on the dinning table to check whether the records were still there... lo and behold... everything was gone. Even the app itself had been uninstalled. I smiled and asked her why she cleared the calls and the app, she replied (crying further) "I just can't listen to the evil voices of myself and my sisters". I smiled again and asked "What about the app? You don't want me to ever hear anything again? She replied "No, I just wished to clear everything that could bring bring back the memory". Then I opened my laptop and navigated to a folder where I had copied all the conversations. I played one and she was shocked to hear it even louder than it was on the the phone. Her fears had just been confirmed... "Why was he pretending that he had forgiven me..." - just my own thought anyways. But truly, I had forgiven her, I was just trying to follow some wise counsel from Nairaland. She couldn't wait till the end, she left me with the food and walked to the bedroom. I slept on the living room couch that night.

The following morning, I continued to read comments on this thread and remembered I was sitting on a time bomb by keeping the whole thing to myself. I went to have my bath and told her I was going out. She was surprised because it was a public holiday. I was already on the road when I called my father that I needed to see him urgently. Luckily for me, he was at home, so I went straight to him and explained all that had happened to him while I played some 'music'. He praised me for taking the matter to him first because he knows we are all closer to mum and revealing such an issue to mum would mean an end - or at most, the beginning of the end. My dad respects my wife's parents a lot and would not like me to take them to their knees on this issue. He spoke with me at length. He said my wife was a good lady but the reason she was so vulnerable was because of her position in the family and that the sisters weren't so lucky this time. He advised me to get closer to my wife so that a natural distance could evolve between her and her sisters. He then begged me never tell my wife that I had revealed the matter to any of my family members because that would be a strong way for me to prove my love to her which she would ever live to appreciate. After all talks, he asked me to call one of my wife's sisters' husbands right in his presence because he knew they (the husbands) must have been told a 'padded' story. I first used the FCMB Mobile App on my phone to load N3,000 before making the call. At the start, he was cold with me on the phone as if a rival was trying to ask for his girlfriend's best food. Later, he admitted that he was aware of all that happened and started all those Yoruba elders' talk... how he had never raised his hand to beat his wife, how he would always walk out, how he and his wife prayed together... bla bla bla. Then I told him I was going to terminate the call and forward some files to him on Whatsapp. I simply picked two of his own wife's conversation with my wife and forwarded to him, expecting him to call back. After about 30 minutes, my Dad told me to call back. I called twice before he answered. He became cold again and couldn't say anything but that his wife would call me soon. After about 1 hour and nothing happened, I had to leave, but my dad told me to carry him along. When I got home, I walked to the bedroom and met my wife on the phone but I did not know who she was speaking with. I returned to the living room and continued reading from my myriad of advisers on this thread.

Then the call came in. It was my wife's sister's voice (not the eldest one)... begging me to forgive and try to forget. She sounded like she was outdoors under the influence of some heavy downpour. I can't express the feeling at that moment but the only thing that I remembered was Proverbs 16:7. (apologies to the wonderful Muslims on this thread...). Even though she didn't believe me, I forgave her. Then the husband collected the phone from her and spoke with me at length... apologising on behalf of the entire family. The major point he kept re-iterating was that I should not let my people know...

All the while, several other simultaneous calls were on. My wife's family members were calling one another while some also called my wife to know the extent of what I got hold of. Interestingly, the first born (who advised my wife to keep a separate account) had also been hinted and had run to their parents to open up to them. She could imagine the level of shame that was coming to her - A PhD holder who is the family's Senior Adviser on every issue. Her parents called her husband to join them immediately as he was their only front soldier who could speak to me. Suddenly, the first born's husband's call came in. He pleaded that he would not like us to revisit the ugly situation but that I was the only one that could save the entire family from the mess by forgiving everyone. He stated that he had been told everything that was done to me and he would like me to honour him and reverse my war order - this was when I confirmed that they had been speaking to my wife. He showered prayers on me while I remained aggressive in my AMEN responses (as if to let them know I was neutralising their spells on me). He promised to call my wife and warn her never to discuss her family issues again with any of her sisters. He also begged me severally never to reveal it to my people as it would mean a reversal to the beginning. Although he didn't give me the impression that my wife's parents were with him - my wife told me this later...

At night, my wife came to kneel down by my side to make her own pleading. I was very glad because the whole ambience was like the clear sky devoid of any cloudy covering after a thunderous rain. I spoke softly to her and began to re-iterate my ideals to her - it was a good preaching time for me. Now everyone (including my wife) is praying that I do not decide to spill the whole thing out one day. My wife's eldest sister later called me that night to directly tender her own apology - at a time she had confirmed I wasn't going to be hostile anymore.

For me, I believe there's so much left for me to do on my wife. For anyone who has followed the recent events of my life which could have ended in a tragedy but for God's intervention and would love to give me some helpful ideas as I move forward, kindly drop your comments. I'll be very glad to read them.

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove, mac04, mysticgal, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, yetseyi, Spydamannn, YourCoffin, peeparty, fem29, Pyno30, mylove4him, Petroking, ISpiksDaTroof, Elebiju, rosy1992, babayega, repogirl, jajainall, Contact17, packagerz, tete7000, MrD2, Taryur3, ahahnow, saintdennis, Marvel1206, olaarie, DICKtator, Insel, Wealthy15, DeRay98, Freeezzz, igbsam, danduchi, freecocoa, dissybling, CoCoLav, Ioannes, ify84, Almajiri1, Beey, emyreal1010, laikas, greatwhite, Biographyroom, FxDuke, Irishrena1, Totfulguy, Lescalier, freedomm, chronique, LUV1, buksaylor001, papinx, toye440, lovaleenny, 0ubenji, ekeroyal, teemy, goodgate, Luckygurl, compujyde, DonX001, yoged, meetdavid, teemy, newecop, solobenzo, Tunechi1, amacastel, luckyehis, igbsam, vicchi12, frozenSun, sweatlana, taemilola, DonX001, Totfulguy, luisina, Fawklicant, Silvofitz, binarykid, keke87, oyetpel, saasala, Mskrisx, Exlusive, borngeologist, ohynedar, Leorichy, Seamareggae, ephi123, NifemiOlu, uplawal, WellEndowed, princeakins, Ronke001, sexy74, vicadex07, mirob, Elle277, tianshie, mylove4him, Chriso2, Seamareggae, dacillin, bj4jesus, pastorpussy, Themandator

Shubbylee:
Yes
If this happened to ur little brother, is this the kind of advice u'll give him?

Oma307:
I want to read comments from ladies

Oma307:
I want to read comments from ladies

Mafking:
Bro your matter pass nairaland.o
Your story just wan destroy my mood ni...

DevGuru:
NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.

I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.

Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.

A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...

Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.

When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.

I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.

My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.

This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.

I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...

Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas?