DevGuru:
This is just to assure all Nairalanders on this thread that I am still standing. There have been further developments which I can't type now because my phone battery is low. I'll update all you wonderful ladies and gentlemen as soon as I get home. Cheers

seems you are yet to "get home"

Leorichy:


seems you are yet to "get home"

Lol.... No be small matter.... Men just dey wait for updates....

Personally, I think the most painful thing about this story is the betrayal, the disloyalty, it's like your best friend stabbing you in the back with the longest knife ever. Must have been what Jesus felt when Judas sold him out, when Peter denied him, must have been what King David felt when his son Absalom, his own flesh and blood, usurped him.

OP, I pray God heals your marriage and makes it whole again, Amen. It won't be easy but you both can start all over again PROVIDED she sincerely is repentant. Notwithstanding, at least one other person must be aware of what occurred, this is to protect you.
It is well with you. Amen

Seriously waiting for updates
Cc: Devguru

Seamareggae:
Lol.... No be small matter.... Men just dey wait for updates....

bro! Like say you know!

After 24hrs, let him be declared missing.

Leorichy:


seems you are yet to "get home"

Maybe the 'home' is referring to heaven. The place is far.

DevGuru:
This is just to assure all Nairalanders on this thread that I am still standing. There have been further developments which I can't type now because my phone battery is low. I'll update all you wonderful ladies and gentlemen as soon as I get home. Cheers

NEPA still never bring light come Una side? We dey wait oh

Waiting in Miami. Checked this thread multiple times today. DEVGURU abeg no turn person to who no get work because of update.

tianshie:
Waiting in Miami. Checked this thread multiple times today. DEVGURU abeg no turn person to who no get work because of update.

Lol. Waiting in Texas

stil waiting

elektra:


Lol. Waiting in Texas

My sister, na so.

DevGuru:
This is just to assure all Nairalanders on this thread that I am still standing. There have been further developments which I can't type now because my phone battery is low. I'll update all you wonderful ladies and gentlemen as soon as I get home. Cheers

Oya come and update us na.

Waiting in Uk.

Ghost447:
When men, were men!

And women were won by those who deserved them!

UPDATE!!!

I must confess that Nairaland is a wonderful online community. In these trying times of mine, the only thing that has kept my head intact is the company I have here reading all comments. I would have revealed much more information about us especially for the sake of those who have expressed their doubts about the veracity of my story, but I can't, because I wouldn't want to provide some pointers for anyone on this forum who might know any of my wife's relatives or mine. Although I got several diverse opinions, all comments still depicted the kindness in the the hearts of the commenters. Even those who called me stupid for not being too hard on my wife did so because they feared I could lose my life - a high level of kindness which I appreciate a lot. Even the opinions I did not follow on this thread still served a purpose of enlarging the pool of options from which I was able to make a choice. I expect much more expressions of disappointment towards my folly (for deciding not to go for a divorce for the sake of my child, the unborn and the fact that my faith forbids me from marrying another woman if I choose not to live with her anymore).

On the morning following my last update, my wife's depression continued but I tried to act like a loving husband towards her. I could read in her face that the more I tried to be kind towards her, the greater the emotional torment she passed through because she found it hard to believe that I could forgive her. Maybe she even thought I was planning a brutal revenge, but this time, not against her alone but against her sisters. She could not imagine the extent of my actions if I was to execute her thoughts. In the evening, as we were having dinner, she started talking softly to me while looking at the food on the table. I had to tell her to speak louder because it was like she was talking to the food. Then she voiced out as tears rolled down her cheeks saying "I've informed all my siblings about our conversations that got leaked to you and they are not talking to me again". I asked her why they were not talking to her and she said they all must have been confused and I understood that to be because they did not know what my next move would be. Married adults of ages between 35 - 45 were running helter-skelter because they had just ruined their sister's marriage. Their ONLY hope was in my forgiveness. The Lord had suddenly delivered my 'enemies' into my hands and if I chose to wield my sword, they might have to relocate away from their home town because the extended family would know the shameful story that threw their last born out of marriage. I told my wife that seeing her crying for the misery of her sisters was annoying to me as it meant she was further betraying our home. Then I picked her phone on the dinning table to check whether the records were still there... lo and behold... everything was gone. Even the app itself had been uninstalled. I smiled and asked her why she cleared the calls and the app, she replied (crying further) "I just can't listen to the evil voices of myself and my sisters". I smiled again and asked "What about the app? You don't want me to ever hear anything again? She replied "No, I just wished to clear everything that could bring bring back the memory". Then I opened my laptop and navigated to a folder where I had copied all the conversations. I played one and she was shocked to hear it even louder than it was on the the phone. Her fears had just been confirmed... "Why was he pretending that he had forgiven me..." - just my own thought anyways. But truly, I had forgiven her, I was just trying to follow some wise counsel from Nairaland. She couldn't wait till the end, she left me with the food and walked to the bedroom. I slept on the living room couch that night.

The following morning, I continued to read comments on this thread and remembered I was sitting on a time bomb by keeping the whole thing to myself. I went to have my bath and told her I was going out. She was surprised because it was a public holiday. I was already on the road when I called my father that I needed to see him urgently. Luckily for me, he was at home, so I went straight to him and explained all that had happened to him while I played some 'music'. He praised me for taking the matter to him first because he knows we are all closer to mum and revealing such an issue to mum would mean an end - or at most, the beginning of the end. My dad respects my wife's parents a lot and would not like me to take them to their knees on this issue. He spoke with me at length. He said my wife was a good lady but the reason she was so vulnerable was because of her position in the family and that the sisters weren't so lucky this time. He advised me to get closer to my wife so that a natural distance could evolve between her and her sisters. He then begged me never tell my wife that I had revealed the matter to any of my family members because that would be a strong way for me to prove my love to her which she would ever live to appreciate. After all talks, he asked me to call one of my wife's sisters' husbands right in his presence because he knew they (the husbands) must have been told a 'padded' story. I first used the FCMB Mobile App on my phone to load N3,000 before making the call. At the start, he was cold with me on the phone as if a rival was trying to ask for his girlfriend's best food. Later, he admitted that he was aware of all that happened and started all those Yoruba elders' talk... how he had never raised his hand to beat his wife, how he would always walk out, how he and his wife prayed together... bla bla bla. Then I told him I was going to terminate the call and forward some files to him on Whatsapp. I simply picked two of his own wife's conversation with my wife and forwarded to him, expecting him to call back. After about 30 minutes, my Dad told me to call back. I called twice before he answered. He became cold again and couldn't say anything but that his wife would call me soon. After about 1 hour and nothing happened, I had to leave, but my dad told me to carry him along. When I got home, I walked to the bedroom and met my wife on the phone but I did not know who she was speaking with. I returned to the living room and continued reading from my myriad of advisers on this thread.

Then the call came in. It was my wife's sister's voice (not the eldest one)... begging me to forgive and try to forget. She sounded like she was outdoors under the influence of some heavy downpour. I can't express the feeling at that moment but the only thing that I remembered was Proverbs 16:7. (apologies to the wonderful Muslims on this thread...). Even though she didn't believe me, I forgave her. Then the husband collected the phone from her and spoke with me at length... apologising on behalf of the entire family. The major point he kept re-iterating was that I should not let my people know...

All the while, several other simultaneous calls were on. My wife's family members were calling one another while some also called my wife to know the extent of what I got hold of. Interestingly, the first born (who advised my wife to keep a separate account) had also been hinted and had run to their parents to open up to them. She could imagine the level of shame that was coming to her - A PhD holder who is the family's Senior Adviser on every issue. Her parents called her husband to join them immediately as he was their only front soldier who could speak to me. Suddenly, the first born's husband's call came in. He pleaded that he would not like us to revisit the ugly situation but that I was the only one that could save the entire family from the mess by forgiving everyone. He stated that he had been told everything that was done to me and he would like me to honour him and reverse my war order - this was when I confirmed that they had been speaking to my wife. He showered prayers on me while I remained aggressive in my AMEN responses (as if to let them know I was neutralising their spells on me). He promised to call my wife and warn her never to discuss her family issues again with any of her sisters. He also begged me severally never to reveal it to my people as it would mean a reversal to the beginning. Although he didn't give me the impression that my wife's parents were with him - my wife told me this later...

At night, my wife came to kneel down by my side to make her own pleading. I was very glad because the whole ambience was like the clear sky devoid of any cloudy covering after a thunderous rain. I spoke softly to her and began to re-iterate my ideals to her - it was a good preaching time for me. Now everyone (including my wife) is praying that I do not decide to spill the whole thing out one day. My wife's eldest sister later called me that night to directly tender her own apology - at a time she had confirmed I wasn't going to be hostile anymore.

For me, I believe there's so much left for me to do on my wife. For anyone who has followed the recent events of my life which could have ended in a tragedy but for God's intervention and would love to give me some helpful ideas as I move forward, kindly drop your comments. I'll be very glad to read them.

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove, mac04, mysticgal, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, yetseyi, Spydamannn, YourCoffin, peeparty, fem29, Pyno30, mylove4him, Petroking, ISpiksDaTroof, Elebiju, rosy1992, babayega, repogirl, jajainall, Contact17, packagerz, tete7000, MrD2, Taryur3, ahahnow, saintdennis, Marvel1206, olaarie, DICKtator, Insel, Wealthy15, DeRay98, Freeezzz, igbsam, danduchi, freecocoa, dissybling, CoCoLav, Ioannes, ify84, Almajiri1, Beey, emyreal1010, laikas, greatwhite, Biographyroom, FxDuke, Irishrena1, Totfulguy, Lescalier, freedomm, chronique, LUV1, buksaylor001, papinx, toye440, lovaleenny, 0ubenji, ekeroyal, teemy, goodgate, Luckygurl, compujyde, DonX001, yoged, meetdavid, teemy, newecop, solobenzo, Tunechi1, amacastel, luckyehis, igbsam, vicchi12, frozenSun, sweatlana, taemilola, DonX001, Totfulguy, luisina, Fawklicant, Silvofitz, binarykid, keke87, oyetpel, saasala, Mskrisx, Exlusive, borngeologist, ohynedar, Leorichy, Seamareggae, ephi123, NifemiOlu, uplawal, WellEndowed, princeakins, Ronke001, sexy74, vicadex07, mirob, Elle277, tianshie, mylove4him, Chriso2, Seamareggae, dacillin, bj4jesus, pastorpussy, Themandator

DevGuru:
UPDATE!!!

I must confess that Nairaland is a wonderful online community. In these trying times of mine, the only thing that has kept my head intact is the company I have here reading all comments. I would have revealed much more information about us especially for the sake of those who have expressed their doubts about the veracity of my story, but I can't, because I wouldn't want to provide some pointers for anyone on this forum who might know any of my wife's relatives or mine. Although I got several diverse opinions, all comments still depicted the kindness in the the hearts of the commenters. Even those who called me stupid for not being too hard on my wife did so because they feared I could lose my life - a high level of kindness which I appreciate a lot. Even the opinions I did not follow on this thread still served a purpose of enlarging the pool of options from which I was able to make a choice. I expect much more expressions of disappointment towards my folly (if deciding not to go for a divorce for the sake of my child, the unborn and the fact that my faith forbids me from marrying another woman if I choose not to live with her anymore).

On the morning following my last update, my wife's depression continued but I tried to act like a loving husband towards her. I could read in her face that the more I tried to be kind towards her, the greater the emotional torment she passed through because she found it hard to believe that I could forgive her. Maybe she even thought I was planning a brutal revenge, but this time, not against her alone but against her sisters. She could not imagine the extent of my actions if I was to execute her thoughts. In the evening, as we were having dinner, she started talking softly to me while looking at the food on the table. I had to tell her to speak louder because it was like she was talking to the food. Then she voiced out as tears rolled down her cheeks saying "I've informed all my siblings about our conversations that got leaked to you and they are not talking to me again". I asked her why they were not talking to her and she said they all must have been confused and I understood that to be because they did not know what my next move would be. Married adults of ages between 35 - 45 were running helter-skelter because they had just ruined their sister's marriage. Their ONLY hope was in my forgiveness. The Lord had suddenly delivered my 'enemies' into my hands and if I chose to wield my sword, they might have to relocate away from their home town because the extended family would know the shameful story that threw their last born out of marriage. I told my wife that seeing her crying for the misery of her sisters was annoying to me as it meant she was further betraying our home. Then I picked her phone on the dinning table to check whether the records were still there... lo and behold... everything was gone. Even the app itself had been uninstalled. I smiled and asked her why she cleared the calls and the app, she replied (crying further) "I just can't listen to the evil voices of myself and my sisters". I smiled again and asked "What about the app? You don't want me to ever hear anything again? She replied "No, I just wished to clear everything that could bring bring back the memory". Then I opened my laptop and navigated to a folder where I had copied all the conversations. I played one and she was shocked to hear it even louder than it was on the the phone. Her fears had just been confirmed... "Why was he pretending that he had forgiven me..." - just my own thought anyways. But truly, I had forgiven her, I was just trying to follow some wise counsel from Nairaland. She couldn't wait till the end, she left me with the food and walked to the bedroom. I slept on the living room couch that night.

The following morning, I continued to read comments on this thread and remembered I was sitting on a time bomb by keeping the whole thing to myself. I went to have my bath and told her I was going out. She was surprised because it was a public holiday. I was already on the road when I called my father that I needed to see him urgently. Luckily for me, he was at home, so I went straight to him and explained all that had happened to him while I played some 'music'. He praised me for taking the matter to him first because he knows we are all closer to mum and revealing such an issue to mum would mean an end - or at most, the beginning of the end. My dad respects my wife's parents a lot and would not like me to take them to their knees on this issue. He spoke with me at length. He said my wife was a good lady but the reason she was so vulnerable was because of her position in the family and that the sisters weren't so lucky this time. He advised me to get closer to my wife so that a natural distance could evolve between her and her sisters. He then begged me never tell my wife that I had revealed the matter to any of my family members because that would be a strong way for me to prove my love to her which she would ever live to appreciate. After all talks, he asked me to call one of my wife's sisters' husbands right in his presence because he knew they (the husbands) must have been told a 'padded' story. I first used the FCMB Mobile App on my phone to load N3,000 before making the call. At the start, he was cold with me on the phone as if a rival was trying to ask for his girlfriend's best food. Later, he admitted that he was aware of all that happened and started all those Yoruba elders' talk... how he had never raised his hand to beat his wife, how he would always walk out, how he and his wife prayed together... bla bla bla. Then I told him I was going to terminate the call and forward some files to him on Whatsapp. I simply picked two of his own wife's conversation with my wife and forwarded to him, expecting him to call back. After about 30 minutes, my Dad told me to call back. I called twice before he answered. He became cold again and couldn't say anything but that his wife would call me soon. After about 1 hour and nothing happened, I had to leave, but my dad told me to carry him along. When I got home, I walked to the bedroom and met my wife on the phone but I did not know who she was speaking with. I returned to the living room and continued reading from my myriad of advisers on this thread.

Then the call came in. It was my wife's sister's voice (not the eldest one)... begging me to forgive and try to forget. She sounded like she was outdoors under the influence of some heavy downpour. I can't express the feeling at that moment but the only thing that I remembered was Proverbs 16:7. (apologies to the wonderful Muslims on this thread...). Even though she didn't believe me, I forgave her. Then the husband collected the phone from her and spoke with me at length... apologising on behalf of the entire family. The major point he kept re-iterating was that I should not let my people know...

All the while, several other simultaneous calls were on. My wife's family members were calling one another while some also called my wife to know the extent of what I got hold of. Interestingly, the first born (who advised my wife to keep a separate account) had also been hinted and had run to their parents to open up to them. She could imagine the level of shame that was coming to her - A PhD holder who is the family's Senior Adviser on every issue. Her parents called her husband to join them immediately as he was their only front soldier who could speak to me. Suddenly, the first born's husband's call came in. He pleaded that he would not like us to revisit the ugly situation but that I was the only one that could save the entire family from the mess by forgiving everyone. He stated that he had been told everything that was done to me and he would like me to honour him and reverse my war order - this was when I confirmed that they had been speaking to my wife. He showered prayers on me while I remained aggressive in my AMEN responses (as if to let them know I was neutralising their spells on me). He promised to call my wife and warn her never to discuss her family issues again with any of her sisters. He also begged me severally never to reveal it to my people as it would mean a reversal to the beginning. Although he didn't give me the impression that my wife's parents were with him - my wife told me this later...

At night, my wife came to kneel down by my side to make her own pleading. I was very glad because the whole ambience was like the clear sky devoid of any cloudy covering after a thunderous rain. I spoke softly to her and began to re-iterate my ideals to her - it was a good preaching time for me. Now everyone (including my wife) is praying that I do not decide to spill the whole thing out one day. My wife's eldest sister later called me that night to directly tender her own apology - at a time she had confirmed I wasn't going to be hostile anymore.

For me, I believe there's so much left for me to do on my wife. For anyone who has followed the recent events of my life which could have ended in a tragedy but for God's intervention and would love to give me some helpful ideas as I move forward, kindly drop your comments. I'll be very glad to read them.

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove, mac04, mysticgal, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, yetseyi, Spydamannn, YourCoffin, peeparty, fem29, Pyno30, mylove4him, Petroking, ISpiksDaTroof, Elebiju, rosy1992, babayega, repogirl, jajainall, Contact17, packagerz, tete7000, MrD2, Taryur3, ahahnow, saintdennis, Marvel1206, olaarie, DICKtator, Insel, Wealthy15, DeRay98, Freeezzz, igbsam, danduchi, freecocoa, dissybling, CoCoLav, Ioannes, ify84, Almajiri1, Beey, emyreal1010, laikas, greatwhite, Biographyroom, FxDuke, Irishrena1, Totfulguy, Lescalier, freedomm, chronique, LUV1, buksaylor001, papinx, toye440, lovaleenny, 0ubenji, ekeroyal, teemy, goodgate, Luckygurl, compujyde, DonX001, yoged, meetdavid, teemy, newecop, solobenzo, Tunechi1, amacastel, luckyehis, igbsam, vicchi12, frozenSun, sweatlana, taemilola, DonX001, Totfulguy, luisina, Fawklicant, Silvofitz, binarykid, keke87, oyetpel, saasala, Mskrisx, Exlusive, borngeologist, ohynedar, Leorichy, Seamareggae, ephi123, NifemiOlu, uplawal, WellEndowed, princeakins, Ronke001, sexy74, vicadex07, mirob, Elle277, tianshie, mylove4him, Chriso2, Seamareggae, dacillin, bj4jesus, pastorpussy, Themandator

Glad how tins are turning out. Forgive her n move on. Yet be careful. May Jah keep you safe.

DevGuru:
UPDATE!!!

I must confess that Nairaland is a wonderful online community. In these trying times of mine, the only thing that has kept my head intact is the company I have here reading all comments. I would have revealed much more information about us especially for the sake of those who have expressed their doubts about the veracity of my story, but I can't, because I wouldn't want to provide some pointers for anyone on this forum who might know any of my wife's relatives or mine. Although I got several diverse opinions, all comments still depicted the kindness in the the hearts of the commenters. Even those who called me stupid for not being too hard on my wife did so because they feared I could lose my life - a high level of kindness which I appreciate a lot. Even the opinions I did not follow on this thread still served a purpose of enlarging the pool of options from which I was able to make a choice. I expect much more expressions of disappointment towards my folly (if deciding not to go for a divorce for the sake of my child, the unborn and the fact that my faith forbids me from marrying another woman if I choose not to live with her anymore).

On the morning following my last update, my wife's depression continued but I tried to act like a loving husband towards her. I could read in her face that the more I tried to be kind towards her, the greater the emotional torment she passed through because she found it hard to believe that I could forgive her. Maybe she even thought I was planning a brutal revenge, but this time, not against her alone but against her sisters. She could not imagine the extent of my actions if I was to execute her thoughts. In the evening, as we were having dinner, she started talking softly to me while looking at the food on the table. I had to tell her to speak louder because it was like she was talking to the food. Then she voiced out as tears rolled down her cheeks saying "I've informed all my siblings about our conversations that got leaked to you and they are not talking to me again". I asked her why they were not talking to her and she said they all must have been confused and I understood that to be because they did not know what my next move would be. Married adults of ages between 35 - 45 were running helter-skelter because they had just ruined their sister's marriage. Their ONLY hope was in my forgiveness. The Lord had suddenly delivered my 'enemies' into my hands and if I chose to wield my sword, they might have to relocate away from their home town because the extended family would know the shameful story that threw their last born out of marriage. I told my wife that seeing her crying for the misery of her sisters was annoying to me as it meant she was further betraying our home. Then I picked her phone on the dinning table to check whether the records were still there... lo and behold... everything was gone. Even the app itself had been uninstalled. I smiled and asked her why she cleared the calls and the app, she replied (crying further) "I just can't listen to the evil voices of myself and my sisters". I smiled again and asked "What about the app? You don't want me to ever hear anything again? She replied "No, I just wished to clear everything that could bring bring back the memory". Then I opened my laptop and navigated to a folder where I had copied all the conversations. I played one and she was shocked to hear it even louder than it was on the the phone. Her fears had just been confirmed... "Why was he pretending that he had forgiven me..." - just my own thought anyways. But truly, I had forgiven her, I was just trying to follow some wise counsel from Nairaland. She couldn't wait till the end, she left me with the food and walked to the bedroom. I slept on the living room couch that night.

The following morning, I continued to read comments on this thread and remembered I was sitting on a time bomb by keeping the whole thing to myself. I went to have my bath and told her I was going out. She was surprised because it was a public holiday. I was already on the road when I called my father that I needed to see him urgently. Luckily for me, he was at home, so I went straight to him and explained all that had happened to him while I played some 'music'. He praised me for taking the matter to him first because he knows we are all closer to mum and revealing such an issue to mum would mean an end - or at most, the beginning of the end. My dad respects my wife's parents a lot and would not like me to take them to their knees on this issue. He spoke with me at length. He said my wife was a good lady but the reason she was so vulnerable was because of her position in the family and that the sisters weren't so lucky this time. He advised me to get closer to my wife so that a natural distance could evolve between her and her sisters. He then begged me never tell my wife that I had revealed the matter to any of my family members because that would be a strong way for me to prove my love to her which she would ever live to appreciate. After all talks, he asked me to call one of my wife's sisters' husbands right in his presence because he knew they (the husbands) must have been told a 'padded' story. I first used the FCMB Mobile App on my phone to load N3,000 before making the call. At the start, he was cold with me on the phone as if a rival was trying to ask for his girlfriend's best food. Later, he admitted that he was aware of all that happened and started all those Yoruba elders' talk... how he had never raised his hand to beat his wife, how he would always walk out, how he and his wife prayed together... bla bla bla. Then I told him I was going to terminate the call and forward some files to him on Whatsapp. I simply picked two of his own wife's conversation with my wife and forwarded to him, expecting him to call back. After about 30 minutes, my Dad told me to call back. I called twice before he answered. He became cold again and couldn't say anything but that his wife would call me soon. After about 1 hour and nothing happened, I had to leave, but my dad told me to carry him along. When I got home, I walked to the bedroom and met my wife on the phone but I did not know who she was speaking with. I returned to the living room and continued reading from my myriad of advisers on this thread.

Then the call came in. It was my wife's sister's voice (not the eldest one)... begging me to forgive and try to forget. She sounded like she was outdoors under the influence of some heavy downpour. I can't express the feeling at that moment but the only thing that I remembered was Proverbs 16:7. (apologies to the wonderful Muslims on this thread...). Even though she didn't believe me, I forgave her. Then the husband collected the phone from her and spoke with me at length... apologising on behalf of the entire family. The major point he kept re-iterating was that I should not let my people know...

All the while, several other simultaneous calls were on. My wife's family members were calling one another while some also called my wife to know the extent of what I got hold of. Interestingly, the first born (who advised my wife to keep a separate account) had also been hinted and had run to their parents to open up to them. She could imagine the level of shame that was coming to her - A PhD holder who is the family's Senior Adviser on every issue. Her parents called her husband to join them immediately as he was their only front soldier who could speak to me. Suddenly, the first born's husband's call came in. He pleaded that he would not like us to revisit the ugly situation but that I was the only one that could save the entire family from the mess by forgiving everyone. He stated that he had been told everything that was done to me and he would like me to honour him and reverse my war order - this was when I confirmed that they had been speaking to my wife. He showered prayers on me while I remained aggressive in my AMEN responses (as if to let them know I was neutralising their spells on me). He promised to call my wife and warn her never to discuss her family issues again with any of her sisters. He also begged me severally never to reveal it to my people as it would mean a reversal to the beginning. Although he didn't give me the impression that my wife's parents were with him - my wife told me this later...

At night, my wife came to kneel down by my side to make her own pleading. I was very glad because the whole ambience was like the clear sky devoid of any cloudy covering after a thunderous rain. I spoke softly to her and began to re-iterate my ideals to her - it was a good preaching time for me. Now everyone (including my wife) is praying that I do not decide to spill the whole thing out one day. My wife's eldest sister later called me that night to directly tender her own apology - at a time she had confirmed I wasn't going to be hostile anymore.

For me, I believe there's so much left for me to do on my wife. For anyone who has followed the recent events of my life which could have ended in a tragedy but for God's intervention and would love to give me some helpful ideas as I move forward, kindly drop your comments. I'll be very glad to read them.

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I strongly believe in forgiving people and I appreciate brave men like you who decide to do it in such a difficult scenario. I have only one rule when forgiving and I advise you to apply the same; ask them why they did all these (not it was the devil answer) and if they can't give you a genuine reason, don't forgive..... I have been there, it's better to know what sparked all these....

Lots of people ask for forgiveness without explaining or changing their rationality and end up going back to the same sin.

God has really intervene, This is why they say age is a number.... U just kept ur marriage going nd acted like a very old man with so much wisdom.... Kudos bro for this update....


U are a man.... U nd ur family would live long and enjoy the fruits of ur hustle....

I name you.... The man who saweth tomorrow...

It's well....

DevGuru:

UPDATE!!!

At last! Your narrative is spellbinding, so much so that I almost forgot you're in the middle of real issues. You really are a great writer.

Okay to the real issue at hand. The good Lord has really humbled those that sought to shake your marriage and He will continue. To fight for you. I suspect that God saw your medical ailment and your clean hands, that's why he exposed the secrets hidden in darkness and shamed those that laughed at your manhood. Hold your God tight.

Since you have fought so hard to keep your marriage then follow the advice of your father and let every thing die down. I believe your wife has learned her lesson, but there are some ground rules you need to lay down. Her family should keep the fvck off from your house for the next one year, to allow you heal properly.

I know you have spoken to wifey softly and all that, but please let her know squarely that this kind of bullshit will not be tolerated again. She exposed you to ridicule, made fun of your medical condition with her sisters, and nearly ruined her own marriage. Please Mr DevGuru, you still have to be vigilant.

Kindly make more copies of the 'music' and store them in your email or somewhere secure in case something happens to your laptop. I don't trust your in-laws. Those folks have no joy.

The way to move forward is laying the ground rules and sticking to them. Let her know that if she allows her family interfere in your home again, that's it. However keep showing her love, though.

You are a very rare man and your wife is so lucky to have you. It is unfortunate she is taking you for granted.

I pray God completely heals your marriage

I SO SO MUCH LOVE THE EPISOLE OF THE WHOLE EVENT, ITS WAS ALMOST THE WAY I WANTED IT TO BE IN MY ADVICE TO YOU.
THEY HAVE HEARD OF THE TAPE.
THEIR HUSBAND AND PERENTS HAVE HEARD OF THE TAPE(WHAT A SHAME)
YOUR MUM IS NOT IN THE PICTURE.
THERE HUSBANDS WILL NOW BEGIN TO SUSPECT THEIR WIVES BECAUSE INRESPECTIVE OF THE FACT THAT THEY ARE BEGGING ON BEHAVE OF YOUR WIFE, THEY CAN NOT ALSO BELIEVE THAT THIRE WIVES CAN TAKE SUCH MOVE.
THE ONLY THING LEFT OUT IS THAT, HER PERENTS HAVE NOT LISTEN TO THE RECORDING (YOU KNOW HOW IT IS TO LISTEN TO EXIBITE NO1).
THE BEGGING WAS DONE VIA THE PHONE, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO HER DADS HOUSE SO YOU CAN TAKE A SECOND LOOK THE HER SISTERS THAT WANT TO BREAK YOUR HOME (NO EYE CONTACT WITH THEM)
HOWEVER, YOU SHULD HAVE SENT THE WHOLE RECORDING TO THE ELDER SISTERS HUSBAND AND THE SISTERS SO THAT THEY CAN LISTEN TO THEIR VOICES.

YOU JUST PLUGED OFF ALL YOUR WIFE WINGS BUT SHOW HER LOVE. HOWEVER, AS kpolli, THIS WHOLE THING STARTED FROM SOME WHERE, ASK YOUR WIFE TO TELL YOU WHY IT STATRED FROM AND HOW DID HER SISTERS GET INTO THE PICTURE THEN CLEAR HER DOUBTS ON THE FUNDERTION ON WHICH SHE DEVELOPED THIS DAVIL AGENDER.

DevGuru I've modified my post.

Kudos! You have handled the situation well.

But seriously DevGuru, I think they got off too lightly. Fine you've forgiven them but you for shakara them small.

When they call you ask them what your offence is. Will they be calling you if they had not been caught? They hold you and your mum in disdain that's why they kept filling your wife's head with rubbish, and wife sef is idle, that's why she has the time to allow herself be easily manipulated.

Abeg if they call again, tell them you've forgiven them, but as kpolli stated, ask them your offence. Why did they hate you so much that they tried to discredit you before your parents? Ask them your offence and let them know that a repetition of such rubbish will mean trouble for them as you will go to CNN to announce their fvck up. Tell them your not happy with them, but for the sake of peace you'll let it slide. You're a man who loves his wife but that doesn't mean your spineless.

Respectfully let them know that the gentility of the tiger does not mean it is weak.

Don't let them get off so easy. Next time they will think twice before planning evil.

Wow, I have been a silent follower of this thread and was always hoping things turn out well in your home. I am really happy at the way things turned out, in your sisters in law words "now their parents will know the kind of manipulative daughters they have and also their husbands will know the kind of wives they married" Gosh! People dey for this world. DevGuru, I am happy for you and I am impressed at your maturity and your level of forgiveness, I have actually learnt one lesson from you and that's forgiveness because I find it difficult to, although I am already working on it. Please forgive her and like someone mentioned please be careful and diplomatic with her and every members of her family and also you may want to duplicate the evidences you have somewhere in case something arises and you need to present it cos it might get deleted from your phone and your laptop (though I pray you don't have the cause to need it again) but we never can tell. Please for God's sake and that of the unborn baby or babies as the case may be, console and draw her closer to you, she has cried too much ooooooooo, so she wouldn't pass the depression to the baby. As you don break her wings now, I am sure she knows best than to betray you now, she was only vulnerable, that's why they could penetrate her that way being the last baby of the family (but she no come get mind for all this ), just make sure they stay clear of your family, (am sure if they have shame they would sure stay away for now) and you need to tell her to stop divulging sensitive information about you or anything in your family to her sisters.God bless you and yours.

I like how it's going but I think you still need to be careful. I am just wondering, has this kind of issue arisen with any of her sister's husbands? Has anyone been accused of beating their wives? Why would she want her own to be different?

You can take her on a weekend getaway. Just the 2 of you. Your daughter can stay with your parents. Have fun the first day with no phones and no distractions, don't bring up the matter again until evening. Tell her that it's been bothering you. Why would she even listen to their type of advice? She should tell you what her fears are so that you can both address them and rebuild your trust.

I maintain that you should sleep with one eye open. I don't trust her or her family.

XX01:
I like how it's going but I think you still need to be careful. I am just wondering, has this kind of issue arisen with any of her sister's husbands? Has anyone been accused of beating their wives? Why would she want her own to be different?

You can take her on a weekend getaway. Just the 2 of you. Your daughter can stay with your parents. Have fun the first day with no funs and no distractions, don't bring up the matter again until evening. Tell her that it's been bothering you. Why would she even listen to their type of advice? She should tell you what her fears are so that you can both address them and rebuild your trust.

I maintain that you should sleep with one eye open. I don't trust her or her family.

My sister I have told DevGuru that I don't trust his in-laws so he should remain vigilant.

If he should ask his wife why she listened to their evil advice, trust me she will blame the devil. The devil is there minding his own business while people are busy blaming him upandan for things he knows nothing about.

I'm glad to see it's all turned out well in the end. This is the sort of thing that happens when parents don't talk to their kids before marriage.

I hope they have all truly learnt their lessons now. You should thank God for that call recorder app, it saved your marriagefrom those wicked siblings.

Ishilove:

My sister I have told Dev.Guru that I don't trust his in-laws so he should remain vigilant.

If he should ask his wife why she listened to their evil advice trust me will blame the devil. The devil is there minding his own business while people are busy blaming him upandan for things he knows nothing about.

lol, Devil don suffer sha!

It's good that you've handled this in a matured way.

You May forgive your wife's sisters if you like, But I'll advice you never to forget. That means, you need to be cautious around them. They are adults and they knew exactly what they were doing when they led their sister astray. The are devilish.

Your business is with your wife. This is the time to be magnanimous and forgive her completely from the depth of your heart.

As a matter of fact this is the time to break that unholy hold her sisters have on her.

Tonight, in the dead of the night, around 1am, wake her up, sit her down and pour out your heart to her. Let her know that she has seriously injured the love and trust you reposed in her and that she will have to work hard to get back the love, trust and respect you gave to her freely in the past.

Let her know that you are willing to give her a second chance to prove herself before you and to prove that she still wants the marriage.

Say all these in a calm voice while looking at her directly in the eyes.

Tell her that as from henceforth it's just you and her. She isn't allowed to discuss your family issues with any of her family members.

If it's possible, let her know that you've made arrangements for her to go spend a couple of weeks with your parents while you clear your head of her betrayal.

This will serve several purposes.

1. It will help both of you restart your marital life afresh after 2weeks of absence from each other.

2. It will make her realise that you didn't tell your family anything.

3. It will hopefully make her bond with your family members especially your mom.

After the 2weeks, go out together like you are on honeymoon and reconnect with each other.

But the most important thing is that you forgive her completely and never ever ever bring it up again.

There will come a time in your marriage when you too will need forgiveness from her for some indiscretions. Then she will remember...

God bless your home and all the best...

DevGuru it only takes a strong person to forgive, most times I look at your issue when praying and get very angry .... Forgive me oh but I even asked God to punish that your wife, wetin sef .
Ermm but please still be careful oh. I respect your decision... It's the best.
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Tho I cannot fit do what you did .. Orara oh... We will all die together

all dis inlaw wahala fit make pesin enta yaba left. why be say na only for africa inlaws dey find trouble for pesin's marriage wetin concern dem dis tin no dey happen for america. anyway congrats DevGuru for forgiving ur wife n holding ur inlaws by d balls.