I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' - Family (2)

I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by KingRex1(m): 11:27am On Jul 21, 2016

mimzy:
STOP DERAILING

oh my! Did I? tongue

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 12:07pm On Jul 21, 2016

He might start getting violent soon. Don't be in a haste. Marriage is a lifetime contract.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by KevinDein: 12:35pm On Jul 21, 2016

It's just amazing how ladies begin to demonize their partners when they lose interest in a relationship and want out.
If you are tired of the relationship why not tell him and end it, rather than trying to make a beast out of him?
In one of your threads you admitted to easily losing interest in people. Could it be you've lost interest in the dude now?
Pls check yourself too

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by cococandy(f): 12:51pm On Jul 21, 2016

What do you mean by he quarrels like a woman? As a Do you quarrel unnecessarily? Do your female family members always quarrel for no reason? Of course you'll say no. So why are you reinforcing a stereotype that's not true?

As for your problem, if it don't feel right, don't do it.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by ALAYORMII: 3:09pm On Jul 21, 2016

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

Dump him and don't be sorry about it

2 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by amtaken(f): 3:10pm On Jul 21, 2016*

Since you can't put up with his behaviour, call your people's attention to his shenanigans and let them see him for who he is.

Don't marry anybody you don't feel like marrying. Marriage is a life-time contract. Be wise.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by faari(f): 3:11pm On Jul 21, 2016

Easy. Talk to him about your issues with him if he acts up about it. Start avoiding him, give excuses. Infavg, should I give you my number and let me start calling u sweetie, honey in pings and messages.

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by dljbd1(m): 3:12pm On Jul 21, 2016

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

thorpido:
By using your legs......as in walk away.
If you really think the relationship makes you unhappy and is choking you,simply let him know you can't continue that way.You've got a possessive guy and he won't change.I wonder what marriage will be like with someone like that.
As for your family,let them shout.You're the one who's going to be in the marriage anyway.A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.Simply let them know it won't work.

Here's the best advise you can get...Please adhere.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Kgdavid(m): 3:13pm On Jul 21, 2016

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

It will not be right to give you advice based on what you have posted here, since you have only spoken about the negatives, but surely there must have been some positives. What drew you to this guy in the first place? The question you have to answer for yourself is does his good outweigh the bad?

I always tell people that there should be one thing in particular that you are holding on to as the reason why you love this person and believe they are right for you. If you don't have that, kindly tell him thanks for his time and jejelly place yourself back in a position where your blessing can locate you.

Just know that everyone will likely have some negatives. It's only a question of what you can deal with.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by teegal3090(f): 3:14pm On Jul 21, 2016

Broken engagement is different from divorce, pls walk away cos marriage is for a life time nd its meant to be enjoyed nt endured

2 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by fortunechy(m): 3:14pm On Jul 21, 2016

google it

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by lastmessenger: 3:14pm On Jul 21, 2016

What if he is the one God said will be your husband. I suggest you talk with and iron things out

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

2 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Odunharry(m): 3:16pm On Jul 21, 2016

Lmao

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Blueeyedboi(m): 3:17pm On Jul 21, 2016

This is my advice....

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by cherry007(f): 3:17pm On Jul 21, 2016

Please talk it out with him rather than walking away, you don't know how the next person you going to met will treat you. I think he is trying to secure his property. Discus this issue with him ok, what about had it been both of you are married will you divorce him?

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Odunharry(m): 3:18pm On Jul 21, 2016

ULSHERLAN:
Alot of ladies out there are dying to have their guys all around them but here we have someone who thinks he is choking her. Well he could be choking you and i think you probably gave him reasons not to trust you and that's why he has been checking your phones to connect some dots. To even think that you wanna tell you parents about this means you have a back up plan already. Anyways my dear, Youarealone in this

Many actually are confused..
The guy self no try, He should give the babe some breathing space

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by terungwamzer(m): 3:19pm On Jul 21, 2016

5minsmadness:
@iamnotalone,

So I went through all your threads and posts and came to a simple conclusion.
Don't marry this man.
You are not matured for marriage yet. It's not him, its you. And thats not a bad thing. With time u will grow and find someone u love and cherish, but right now your feelings are fickle. If u marry this guy Now and anything goes wrong u will continue to blame him for it. Let him go pls.

Of all voices on this thread; yours and that of @mimzy are the only sensible!!

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Opeyemi4real(m): 3:20pm On Jul 21, 2016

Let's hear the man too! Ladies! Erhh! I don't trust their story!

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Odunharry(m): 3:20pm On Jul 21, 2016

NigAmbassador:
To be candid, u are just being selfish in trying to paint him black. You never pointed out his great and awesome attitude towards to you.

This happens when a woman got too much of attention from other "hit&run” guys, who just reAlly want to bed her @ all cost.

Go ahead and leave him, go meet ur back up plans..... You will really desire him back, then it will be fucking late for you dear

Wolfe

LAdies will do and say anything to appear like saint.
It's like u waiting for a lady to come out and say she's the cause of a break up or how she treated the guy badly.

5 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by sammyjay7265(m): 3:22pm On Jul 21, 2016

Hmmm i am sure for you the best would be for you to leave....
but i am sure u wont be happy if you do..because you gave him reason for the mistrust
if there was no reason for such he wouldn't be
quoting you..you said he his frustrating you a lot because you want to have him and also have someone else outside hmm...
that's why you said he his frustrating you ...please leave the gentle man that has fallen in love woth the wrong person ...that wants to have marry a nice guy but sleep with rugged guyzs....
please d leave him alone so there wont be anyone monitoring your moves...your family sees what you dont see in him...

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by MadCow1: 3:24pm On Jul 21, 2016

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

This is a really big issue that you should not ignore.

Jealously amongst couple = lack of trust.

Call him in, hold his hands and tell him to his face that; If he continues down this part of jealousy, you will leave him. (DO NOT MINCE WORDS).

Reassure him of the love you have for him. Tell him that your loyalty lies with him. But if he keeps being the overtly jealous spouse that he is, you will leave him as that is too much baggage for you to deal with.

If he does not stop, leave it now before its too late.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 3:24pm On Jul 21, 2016

mimzy:
He is possessive, doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you.

The fact that he is a jealous and possessive lover does not mean he is not capable of treating you right in public or in private.

Please explain what you mean by the emboldened, is it that you have painted him to be who he is not to the members of your family or what?

All these are signs of insecurity, while i am not in support of his attitudes, have you also taken your time to have a tête-à-tête with him, have you tried to understand your man's love language? Men can be really funny at times and you will be surprised at your findings when you have a heart-to-heart convo with him.

You are the one in the relationship, you know where the shoe pinches, you are the one that will say "I do forever" to the guy in question, so put aside what your family members will think or say. But, trust me my dear, the grass is not always greener on the other side, your relationship with him still has a very good chance of survival.

After all said and done, we can only but proffer advise, the final decision lies in your hands, BE WISE MY SISTER!!!

Brilliant!

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 3:25pm On Jul 21, 2016

terungwamzer:
Of all voices on this thread; yours and that of @mimz.y are the only sensible!!

thanks

People's opinion will always differ though

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Odunharry(m): 3:25pm On Jul 21, 2016

greatgod2012:
This is my problem with some people, you're already seeing the red light, yet, you chose to continue because of what people and your family will say, are they the one that is getting married to him? Are they the one that will be with him till death do them part? He who wears the shoes, know where it pinches, if you're nor comfortable with the relationship, simply walk away, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.

Forget about what anyone will say, people will always talk anyway, it's better they talk now and later praise you later for taking a bold step in securing marital peace.

A choking relationship will automatically lead to a choking marriage, by then, your life would have almost turned miserable.

TAKE A WALK DEAR, LIFE WILL NOT COLLAPSE BECAUSE OF YOUR THAT.

One more thing, let him know your reason for walking away, it will do both of you some good and bring sanity to your marital life.

I like this.. Young people especially the ladies just can't deal with singleness / loneliness..
Little wonder you see many people who aren't really into each other dating.. some do it to feel among due to peer pressure..
She simply can't deal with what the society will say if she break up

4 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 3:26pm On Jul 21, 2016

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

I think both of you should take a break for a month or 2 months, over familiarity can lead to some of this. The space willl make you both appreciate what you have for each other

You can also speak to him nicely about some of your feeling.

funny enough the reverse shd be the case, you should be the one choking him.

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by DanielGb(m): 3:27pm On Jul 21, 2016

You can walk away. Its not pretty good choice you know, but from all angles, you are not ready to go into marriage.

and,
did you discuss this things with him before tell us here?

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 3:27pm On Jul 21, 2016

Be sincere, u hv gotten another man. If u hv not, u wldnt hv seen all these error. U wld hv manage it without complaint.
B4 u go, try to compasect for him for some expenses for him not to curse u out of hrt break.

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 3:27pm On Jul 21, 2016

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

1: Are you past marketable age? If not LEAVE HIM
2: Are you Ambitious and Independent in thought and social standing - LEAVE HIM

if otherwise.. stay and get married and be killed one day

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by jidxin(m): 3:27pm On Jul 21, 2016

mimzy:
He is possessive, doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you.

The fact that he is a jealous and possessive lover does not mean he is not capable of treating you right in public or in private.

Please explain what you mean by the emboldened, is it that you have painted him to be who he is not to the members of your family or what?

All these are signs of insecurity, while i am not in support of his attitudes, have you also taken your time to have a tête-à-tête with him, have you tried to understand your man's love language? Men can be really funny at times and you will be surprised at your findings when you have a heart-to-heart convo with him.

You are the one in the relationship, you know where the shoe pinches, you are the one that will say "I do forever" to the guy in question, so put aside what your family members will think or say. But, trust me my dear, the grass is not always greener on the other side, your relationship with him still has a very good chance of survival.

After all said and done, we can only but proffer advise, the final decision lies in your hands, BE WISE MY SISTER!!!

. I LOVE YOU MIMZY..bin reading thru all d comments but u sounded more matured...nice 1 .i think u re "peculiarly" different. Thumbs up...i will start stalking u on nairaland

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by uqueenette: 3:28pm On Jul 21, 2016

WELLALL I CAN SAY IS A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP WOULD ALWAYS AND IS STILL BETTER THAN A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP, BECAUSE ONCE YOU SAY I DO THAT IS IT , SO PLEASE DO NOT CONSIDER WHAT FAMILY WOULD SAY AT THIS POINT PRAY AND MAKE WISE DECISIONS, BY THE WAY YOU CAN ALSO COME AND JOIN THIS NAIJABET AFFILIATE PROGRAM.TAKE CARE

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Dminister(m): 3:28pm On Jul 21, 2016

iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

Walk away baby I am available if you need somebody to hold close.

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Nobody: 3:28pm On Jul 21, 2016

Be sincere, u hv gotten another man. If u hv not, u wldnt hv seen all these error. U wld hv manage it without complaint.
B4 u go, try to compasect him for some expenses on u for him not to curse u out of hrt break.

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