robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

I am SMH 4u.My dear listen to me if u really need an advice.Unfortunately this is happening because you are yet to get married i guess,can he try it if u were in your husband's house.God who sees your good intentions over them will bring a nice guy your way.l want you to know that if your job stops today,that your brother/siblings wouldn't die and what u may receive in return might shock you.His wife tomorrow might be your greatest enemy.U must create comfort for yourself.I don't see anywhere u are owing them again after all the school sacrifice.Kindly take up project that will constantly be taking your time and money so that you can secure your future.I believe u still have some loose cash and also free,dats y it's like this.By the time things are not the way he expects he will advice himself.l don't mind depending on your financial capacity settling him with d car with d knowledge of some "Trusted order".And If by any means it continues,abandone the house by d expiration of d rent and join a friend and pay for a new accomodation where u can have a master's room apartment alone to yourself.Even if things are still moving fine,u need to fake economic recession.A lot of people faced a similar issue like you and their story today is not a nice one.All the best!

cut them loose n live a fulfilled life for God n self.until u r 6 feet under dey will nt stop apologizing n begging u to forgive n give another chance

robedu:
What do you think i should do.

You should kill him.
Okay, I don't mean physically.
No.
I mean literally.
Send him away from your place back to your parents.
He can farm or something like that but you should stop helping him. Stop completely because you are not helping him as it is now. Rather you are destroying him and in the process you can also destroy yourself.
Imagine that you lose your job due to all this stress of running around attending to problems he is creating and will continue to create? Can't happen? Don't bet on it oh.
I wish you the courage you need to do what you have to do.
All the best.

robedu post
U are unnecessary tooo soft and he is taking full advantage of that.
Jst gradually toughen/wisen up by giving limits/bounds on wat to be done and wat not to be done in ur house and properties.
More doom lies ahead if u continues lyk dis.
In short, the guy man they use u brain drink garri with ignomity.
Give him some conditions of continuing staying in ur house or u will rent a room for him for a yr and he will be footing d rent afterwards.
Ps: start saving now or u will regret lyk nigeria dat didn't save during the oil boom, and they are borrowing/crying now

Best way op, turn the table around let him have the feeling that u are not been paid at work nag like never before and no more buying the foodstuff at home.

Let him have the car for it seem is using that car to wooing a girl outside. And don't be. Surprise when u hear his been telling ppl he bought the car with his money also I think is trying gather is own family using u.

Here is the deal, turn the table around ask him for everything including money to wash ur cloth. Yes make it sound worst always remind him that he is ur senior brother and his is responsibility to take care of the family do this and watch the ingrate action to know what he will do u if u have nothing and needs is help.

Complain to him u borrowed money from ur office or a friend go to the extend of asking his friend to borrow u money.

Op trust me u don't have to chas him. Away he will run from u, because ppl like are not ready to do for anybody. Then u will have ur peace hence be the taker fro him and not the giver and if is in any trouble let him bail is self out with his money nobody like police cell

OP. Go and marry

oga you ain't wise at all neither have you been helping, you've been a fool. why go out of your way to him? you have a life too na.
thank God his a graduate and as the firstborn sef, did his destiny tell him not to hustle too?

you've done your best and you don't owe him anything. you need to get your life together and stand firm on your decisions now. if not, you'll only put you wife in big trouble later.

photography is a good business, if he can't go back to it, then he should go and farm.

Anyways there's no long statement about this. what to do is very simple. I can see you've so much tried for him as a mother would tolerate her child, because it's rare to see where one's brother or sister would tolerate themselves these days. Just free the Camry car for him, that way he won't be able to hurt you anymore and even if he comes back to you for something else, openly get him off your back. for God's sake he is a man and should carter for his needs there is no excuses to that. And if by any chance he threatens you because I know he will do such. Please hand him over to the law enforcement for proper handling.

Na waoh, an elder brother that is meant to be helping out is now d one misheaving, dear you better put a stop to all that.

.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.


After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

[/quote]

My dear, some irresponsible elderly ones are like that Atimes. I think you should know this; there's a way you help people, they will start seeing it as their right and your responsibility.

If you should turn the table around, I doubt if this person would do the same for you, regardless your r/ship.

Why should you fix the car yourself, after three months. What happens to the money he's been making? No savings?

Fixing that car for him is not the best idea. But if you must (considering the family sentiments), he should take responsibility.

You've forfeited enough. Get him his own apartment, if you can afford it.

He has to be by himself.
. May God guide you.

Sit all the members of your family and have a polite talk with them. They all are seeing you as Mark Zuckerberg... How can they leave family house renovation just for you. Tell them you cannot continue... Tell your brother to ask for one last thing he wants you to do to help him then tell him that will be the last sort of help you will ever do for him. Use your marriage as perfect excuse. Last make sure you agree with your husband that no family will interfere with your marriage. Keep up the hard work tho

Keep spoiling him.

@op,u have really tried,I commend your efforts..Some family members are like that.They see you as a money bag,like as if u don't have your own problems.Your brother is an opportunist to say the least and u made life too comfortable for him,you give without complaining..Since your elder brother has warned you not to spend a dime on him,make it a family issue..Let everyone know what he has done and what you have endured so far,then tell them your decision and that's final.You have to be tough and stand by it.First of all,if possible, help him rent a room so he wud give u breathing space then concentrate on your marriage plans.At least wen u are married,he wud know that you aren't as free as before.If possible,give him the car so that heaven and earth wud bear you witness that u have done your best.Settle him once and for all,then let him know u are done with him for the rest of his life...May God gv u wisdom.

@Robedu

It is a pity. What i see ahead of you several problems unless you take decisive steps to curb your brother's excesses.

How can an elder brother be so heartless? What will happen when you get married and you are no longer funding him?

You need to stand firm and take decisive actions.

1. Discuss with your mother and possibly some family members and let them know the situations of things else they will make you the bad person.

2. See how little you can do for your brother and cut almost all financial ties with him.

3. Once in a while, you can still help him but not at your own detriment.

Please remember the popular adage that you can not help everybody in life. Once again, you need to be assertive in your decisions. More problems ahead but by the grace of God, you will overcome.

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

if I were u I will leave the house and the car for him, take along with me only vital stuff I need and go start a new life in anoda part of the city. I will ask him to also start a new life from there.

This is a very tough decision to make..but if its left to me am gonna dump his sorry ass

I am sorry for the "fictitious" lady. I hope not to sound so deviating but I feel the story has a bit of contradiction earlier, which made me discontinue reading the rest...

My hardworking lady in the post once said, she no longer had any savings due to her brother's misbehaviour and later in another rejoinder, that she is saving money for her upcoming wedding/supporting her fiance to rent their house and also to help fix her parent's house...

I found it difficult to marry these two statements...just saying/thinking outta the box.

Heaven knows dat u av tried !
Some siblings ar like dat , u ar d one dat need to stand ur ground. U av to b frank and take ur decision. Dnt ruin ur life and happiness for anybody, it doesnt worth it. If u allowed him he will surely continue this way without changing. More importantly, ur life is urs and u av every right to make urself happy. Afterall he is man !

it's so painful when the one who is supposed to live by example is the one misbehaving!!!! I think u av tried. watever decision u take nw, no one wud say u are wicked

Diplomaticbeing:
@OP
I can relate to your story nay pains 100 percent, because I have been there and still in it. Sincerely, the worst thing that will ever happen to anyone is having sibling(s) who has sense of entitlement complex. And it gets worse when one is an altruistic type; since the sufferings of people closer to you will always automatically knock you down emotionally and physically, by extension you see yourself become self-enslave to them.

Citing your postulation, your brother is the extreme opportunist type, now you have to reciprocate his ill attitude by feigning apathetic towards him. Give him some distance by relocating him to another apartment far from where you live (even if it is a room) and stop discussing your conquests with him. Allow him to fend for himself. This is the easiest way to keep him in check and balance. But before you do that, either consider to leave your current car for him, if you can afford an alternative or you buy him a smaller one/help him get back to his photography business. Once you can do any of this, feign apathetic towards him I say.

If you fails to act now, believe you me, you will soon become his worst enemy. Because he will always expects you to satisfy his request whenever he made one. Such a person never want to hear a "I don't have" kind of reply. To them there's no way you can't have to give, so they always assumed that your inability to satisfy their request at anytime means you have become wicked towards them. In their myopic state, you're a supper human being, so should be living above lacks and difficulties. His type is also quick to taunt, chastise, disparage and judge one.

However, no matter the happenstances, never alienate yourself completely from him, because as the saying goes blood is thicker than water. Siblings will always disagree to agree.

Op take this advice, the Lord is your strength!

Earlier is better, save the life of ur brother and save yours. Collect that car from that "I- man". He is the type that smoke weed. Please for ur own good.

OP,you have tried o,Olorun,the responsibility on you is too much.only you,send yourself through school. Send ur siblings, not one o,to school? Only u buying car for your brother to use,only you renovate house in the village,even your sis telling you to come and renovate the house? She no get work.they are not even trying to assist you or anything.only you preparing for ur wedding,kilode?.you even said it yourself that ur colleagues in the office are better than you.
I am not against giving but this is too much,there is this saying that one rich person in the midst of 10 paupers is a pauper too because they are going to depend on you for everything.
Before you know it you are not gonna have any savings anymore and u gonna appear like u are not working,
My advice,stay away from that brother of yours. The devil appears to people taking different forms,atimes its ones mother/ father. So just know that a blood brother is not exempted, do not think he loves you or cares so much for you. even if you build him a house,buy him cars,settle him once and for all as people are suggesting here,trust me,he would still not be satisfied he will come back for more.

Your brother has the entitlement nature, or do you have a secret with him? Is this some kind of blackmail

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

Sell that car immediately and buy a non Uber spec. Your brother is on his own from now on.

Don't deny him any assistance except your own car. If you can, buy him a golf 3, Mazda 323 or something in that class to hustle in the streets. Ask him how much he saved using your car for 3 months, if reasonable, help him buy his own car. Car sharing is an impossible thing especially when you have an ungrateful and irresponsible person to share with.

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

Hey, i am wondering if you are normal or you are drunk in love. Since its your brother, i stay that thought.

I know you are not a business woman. Thats why you dont know when a business is running at a loss or under destruction by an employee.

People dont usually value what they didnt suffer to acquire thats why yourbrother is destroying your car.

If I give you better slap you will start reasoning normally.

DONT EVER ALLOW HIM DRIVE THAT CAR AGAIN.

For your mind a drunk driver can save money to buy another car. Nah so.

Here i have a photographer who saved up enuf money and opened a barbershop and still works 9-5 on a paid job. Your bros nah waster.

Finally, for ur safety, send this type of person out of ur house. When you stop helping him, he will become desperate and might kill you.

SETTLE HIM ONCE FOR ALL. HE SHOULD NOT EVEN VISIT YOU. Unless you invited him and that should be when the home is full. He isnt normal.

Blood is thicker than water. I really appreciate all ur efforts to make ur brother a man. Women are very important in every family. I wish you are a man you couldn't have done or tolerate all these shit..as a person who grew up in a poor home will always try to alleviate the state state of the family for better. God bless you my sister and never stop to put him in ur prayers.

Stoical:
I am sorry for the "fictitious" lady. I hope not to sound so deviating but I feel the story has a bit of contradiction earlier, which made me discontinue reading the rest...

My hardworking lady in the post once said, she no longer had any savings due to her brother's misbehaviour and later in another rejoinder, that she is saving money for her upcoming wedding/supporting her fiance to rent their house and also to help fix her parent's house...

I found it difficult to marry these two statements...just saying/thinking outta the box.

A is for Apple. B is for Ball, C is for Cat. Continue like that till you get to Z. Itiboribo.

Take him to ilorin, dose alfas dere know how to use him for blood money, u can den buy ur lexus 350 you wanted

My sister, even you woundn't do what you suggest coz women heart are feeble and homily than men.they can do anything to salvage their family.my suggestion is that she should leave the car and apartment and relocate to his husband and stop been in close contact with him.

Don't give him the car again. period. He feels entitled. which is bad. He needs to know u do not pluck money from trees. help him get his own cheap taxi or something. Don't inconvenience urself so much for him or anyone. When helping people, make sure you and/ur immediate family are not unduly inconvenienced. Do this, and u will have less headache and problems with people!

Read this story last night but I slept off after I got to page 3.
Op you are a good woman, you have tried and no one can take that away from you no matter what happens going forward. Sadly, your brother is very irresponsible and I'm afraid he's useless.
Ignore these people saying you should pay him off, give him your car, give him money blah blah blah. Please don't listen to any of that cos you are not his father or his boss at work. Let him understand the concept of Risk and Reward. Let him learn to hustle cos he's a shameless 29 year old. He says he wants to be on Uber. Uber has a scheme where they match drivers without cars with car owners so your brother can get picked by someone and earn a salary. So don't give him anything and also get him to leave your house immediately. Let him stay with his friends. Trust me he would survive or not.
Please you have your life ahead of you. You have your wedding, your future kids and family. Save for them and enjoy your life. Learn to Say No and stand by your decision. God will help you surely. Let's know how it goes afterwards.