ifyalways:
Take the car from him. At this stage in life, all you owe him is accommodation and food and occasional pocket money, let him find his feet.

Tough love.

She does not owe him nadda. He should go back to the photography stuff. He can combine it with menial job, if he likes. Pay for his accommodation, then she will have to furnish it.

My dear, I enjoyed ur story. Pls try give the guy this
to read and the responses from other guys. That should put him in check.
[color=#000099][/color]

if your elder brother is not masure enough to drive car why should you give him one? Do you want him to kill himself and other road users?

Anyway, if you think with all he did to you he still deserves your car then he is good to have it, that is family issue i will not say you should not give him your car but please save other road users from a potential man slaughter around you over there. THANKS

robedu:
Honestly i was telling someone and they told me he might be under spiritual attack, i dont believe he is though, he is simply being careless, when the car had the accident, i had register the car for a comprehensive insurance with excess buy back, meaning insurance will repair the car or refund all the repair cost, okay i ask my brother to bring money so that we can repair the car and i will pay him back once insurance refund us but he said he has no money that only 80,000 remaining with him, how can 80,000 be remaining when in the uber account he has received over 700,000 naira, he doesnt buy anything in the house and that is inclusive of the table water we drink in the house, i buy food stuff, pay for all bills, so where did all the money go, my junior sister is still serving when Buhari didnt pay their Alawee she purposely refused to call me but called him to send money for her to feed, he refused when my sister was almost fainting, she put a call thru to me that she is empty and has been begging him to send at least 5k to her to feed till govt pays but he refused, i was so shock that he couldnt even afford to bail out his little sister with 5k, i had to send the money to my little sister, he hasnt given anyone in the family any money that we know of, where did all 700,000 go. my other brother which i also sponsor his education has warned that i do not spend a peny on him anymore, i wish he can change and also be like every other boy husstling in the street

You can leverage on the support of your other siblings to cut him off. If you are sure of the guy you want to marry, then pull out all stops and marry as soon as possible. This will help

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

U are a nice and patient sister. If u did all this for ur brother and he shows no appreciation, there's nothing else you will do for him to appreciate. Don't kill urself for an ingrate.

Google malignant narcissism

Sell the car, use the proceeds to renovate the house in the village. Leave long span roofing sheets and go for 'cameroun zinc'. Cos when you marry he would want to take the car as his sister's property. Sell the car before your trad.
You can buy another one as a married lady. He won't have access to that one cos you must let them know that it belongs to your husband.

There is something wrong with the OP personality. Are you scared of him? Or Are you scared of what the society might think of you? I mean, you think they'll say you have money but your siblings are suffering.

Do you feel guilty about succeeding before your elder brother?

All these your fears are baseless. From today henceforth do whatever you feel is best for you and damn all the consequences.

I mean, be strict with him. If he is pissed off at you,he should go and make his money.

Is he the only boy of the family? His level of narcissism is way over board.

Throw him out of your house...

Chai, the brother should go to exile and hide because Abel was killed by Cain for lesser things of jealousy.
He sabi Hustle well and drinking d ogogro. Make he go do conductor work. Accident is just a joke for Danfo conductors , make he go manage as Danfo Conductor while you recover from your losses and make no more extension of yourself into other people's waste. You have been generous enough.

Yeah, I know people like him. Pls, do not listen to anyone telling u to give him the car, he's got it, he lost it. He's unrepentant. He's unapologetic. Just bone. Or else, he ll push you to your grave.
Unfortunately, he might end up trying to inflict something on - idibia, Alfa, or even robbers to attack you.

With all you have explained, I can only attribute the fault as yours. You are suffering from a poor self image.
Once you realize that someone is treating you the way you wouldn't treat them if you are in their shoes, quickly and wisely kick them out before they kick you in the butt which is what he is already doing.

Simply find wise and pitiable reasons to offer him any time he makes a request with that you will create the boundary.

YOU ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE NOT FOR ONLY THE THINGS YOU DO, BUT ALSO WHAT OTHERS DO TO YOU.

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

How I wish God will give me a sister like you. Please adopt me as your brother

My dear your story is so touching, why will your brother who is a graduate be leaving with you till now? Look, no long stories OK, my advice for you is this---fix the car, no matter how hard it's gonna be you'll have to give it to him unless you want to die young, even siblings can sometimes turn animals just because of mere jealousy, so please darling give him the car that is after you must have look for a one room apartment for him, paid for about 6 months and try to talk him into being independent, and that he needs his privacy, please try and heed this advice, don't say because he is your bro you still want to keep him in your house or not give him that car, and one last thing, let all your family members know you gave him the car and rented a house for him... Then give him space but also call to know how he is faring, never make the mistake of allowing him move back in no matter what OK. Then gradually save another money to get a car for yourself when you can. God bless you

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

I only hope ur brother will not end ur life with his wasteful attitude. I know u want every member of ur family to be well positioned but some people can only learn the hard way. Right now u ve got to take a firm decision otherwise ur brother will be a failure a problem to the society. Start by collecting back ur car. Secondly get him a room apartment and allow him hustle for himself. Anyone that has not tasted suffering doesn't know what it takes to be a man. Finally pray for him. And if possible lead him to christ. He need serious deliverance. He might end up beating u someday. Stop living ur life to please anyone ur family members inclusive. Someone from a humble background like yours doesn't need an expensive car. Corolla sports would ve been cool for u. Remember car is a liability focus on more important things like building urself a house, getting married and upgrading ur level educationally. More importantly save enough cos God forbid you become jobless ur wasteful brother will treat u like a play thing. Don't take my opinion personal I only care about ur plight

Solution to such cases @times is through spiritual means. Take him to a good man of God for counseling & prayers. All hope is not lost. Goodluck.

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

Just leave the car with him for good ad tell him to go live his life.

@robedu. U have done your best . But don't ignore the fact that is under attack . A lot of things happen that will cannot decipher . God sees and knows all . There are times some one will not know is under attack -psychotic /emotional attack. Take it or leave Give him 1 billion is gonna , squander it . What he needs now is re- evaluation and re assignment through psychotherapy. Pls don't ignore it . God will help u graciously

MAKE HIM A SIGNATORY TO YOUR SALARY ACCOUNT

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

OP, I dont mean to insult you...but you are ma.d and you will soon die. You are housing a baby that will never grow and you are not going to make any tangible progress for yourself because it appears you have vowed to be attached to him like your Siamese twin. He is mentally lazy and will soon see you as the cause of his problems. YOU ARE FULL OF SENTIMENTS and NOT READY TO HAVE A LIFE!

Bro left for me some persons deserve to suffer most times not because u hate them but because they fail to be good for themselves in life nd want to rob others with it am telling from my personal experience nd am advising u to take back ur car and allow him to go fend for himself after all he's ur elder brother..... frankly I tell u he has no shame whatsoever nd if u don't take actions now sori bro u might regret it later...... Thank you

Robedu
I think you really need to step down on taking responsibilities generally.

I hv an elder bro like urs, I use to be like you until I embraced reality.
You deserve all the best things in life, nothing in this world should mk you go for less.
You may not see any problem in what you are doing now with your elder bro, but I see it creeping into your marriage too.
Allow these men take responsibility.
Forget what you have.Only come in when all options has been exhausted.

I guess you know what you should do.

Why playing God in their lives. they are your siblings for crying out loud, you are not their mother nor their creator.
since you have sponsored them through their education that should be enough. You should allow them to hustle for themselves otherwise they will not appreciate your good deeds when it has become excess.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

[/quote]

robedu, if u give him the car don't come back to NL to complain to us again if anything happens.

After reading all these I came to one conclusion that you are a very good person but your family will take advantage of you as ATM machine and ruin you. If you continue like this , you may even remain a spinster. Draw the line now. Withdraw your car from that stupid brother of yours. He doesn't see you as anything. Wait till you tell them you want to marry. All will be against that because their ATM machine will be no more. Why did you even bail that crazy dude from the police station. You should have left him to stay there for at least two weeks to learn his lesson
Let him fend for himself. Don't spoon feed him. Imagine your elder brother that is even a graduate is depending on you and is not seeing anything wrong in that. I am pissed off. You deserve a big slap to reset your head. Sorry to say that. The only people that you should be responsible for are your parents for now. Every other person is liability. A word is enough for the wise. .

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

If you can afford it, buy another car and leave the camry for him, tell him you are done with helping him find his feet and let that be it.

At this point, he is man enough to cater for him self.... You must arrange to move him out from your apartment....

29 years old and doesn't have sense of maintenance, accepting his responsility, still depending on his younger sister... H/mmm... He needs to come back to his senses... Seee my dear leave your car for him, wash your hands offf his expenses for the main time and watch how he will reacg towards you.... But one thing don't ever be alone with him oh, cause humans can be very wicked doing the undoable just because you try to teach them the right thing... But this your brother should be sensible enough... 29years nor be miemie oh.. Me i am 25 already and i know whats good and whats bad... All through my stay in schoool i have never depended on anybody just like your case.. I hasled hard and one mushin go come from no where wan destabilize the fruit of my labour... I GO SEND TO WHERE HE BELONG... MAKE HE GO SEE HE MATES OUT THERE... TELL YOUR PASTOR TO ADVICE HIM, IF POSSIBLE HIS GF..... AND LASTLY, IF THE OTHER FAMILY MEMBER ARE NOT LIKE HIM, CALL THE THE ELDEST AND ASK HIM TO CALL FOR A FAMILY MEETING... LET EVERYBODY SAY HIS OR HER MIND... SINCE YOU ARE THE BREAD WINNNER, THEY WILL SURLY GIVE YOU A LISTENING EARS.....

Op learn to say NO without having to explain ur'sef

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

Cut him loose. Pure and simple. Lord knows you have tried. You are not responsible for him. He's a grown man and he needs to start taking responsibilities of his own life. I dislike people with the gut feelings that people owe them something...He's nothing but lazy and I see you are enabling him.

Roseey0:
Robedu

You may not see any problem in what you are doing now with your elder bro, but I see it creeping into your marriage too.
Allow these men take responsibility.
Forget what you have.Only come in when all options has been exhausted.

my fear exactly. if your fiance can only afford a room and parlour, please move in with him after the wedding or make sure you are not footing the entire bill for the house,don't go footing bills and enabling him to be like your brother. sorry I know this is not part of the topic but I just couldn't overlook this.

Hit him. Wit. A. Baseball. Stick